Following her meeting at Nickie’s school, Victoria hadn’t the energy to speak. She felt tapped out, limp with the realness that her efforts had been in vain. Nickie had thwarted every attempt to be shaped, molded, guided onto a smooth path. She felt heavy and hot as she rested on the love seat in her office, wanting to cry. Wanting to kick and scream.
Then, Madelyn had come into her office with the news that Willow had returned. She’d been anticipating this, wouldn’t have been surprised if she came back only a couple hours after Victoria had spoken to January. But of course, Willow’s timing had to be the absolute worst.
“Hey, sis. You’re looking good.” She let Willow belt out her story. The excuses she gave for being back were vague: tight money, incongruent schedules, different ways of living between her and January. “And I think Nickie still needs me.”
“Is that right?” Victoria had only half paid attention. The months had dulled most of her anger toward her sister, as had petitions to Erzulie Dantor at her altar. She knew Willow had been working hard all these years to make up for leaving in the wake of Jimmie’s death. Maybe she had taken some wrong turns in the process, but Victoria understood how that felt, and she understood that she had let Willow go on that way for too long, a crutch for Victoria herself to contain her pain instead of face the past head-on. Eventually, she would bring up their fight, talk things through, but for now, she’d give her sister time. Willow carried herself like she was fine, but chances were January hadn’t been kind in ending their relationship.
“Not for anything you wouldn’t approve of. Just, as an aunt.” Willow beamed as she walked back and forth, hands clasped as if she might break into song. “I’ve already spoken to the others. Madelyn says she could use some help with billing. Some of those plans can be a little tricky.”
Once Willow got a look at their books, the documentation from the last couple of months, she’d surely see the challenges with the business, the loss of clients. It pained her to admit to Willow’s impact on her business, mystical or otherwise. She needed her. Willow’s return had already rattled away the tension of earlier, and Nickie was likely to shape up with Willow back, plus the detention. “I’d be okay with you staying here for a bit, if that’s what you need,” Victoria said.
Willow clapped her hands. “Oh, sis, you won’t regret it. I promise you.”
“Okay.”
Willow cleared her throat. “And I really am sorry. I don’t take you for granted. And I didn’t mean to say what I did about Jimmie. That was...that was cruel of me.”
Victoria couldn’t recall the last time her sister apologized to her, not even when she’d spilled red wine on their new couch or shrunk her favorite blouse in the dryer. “It’s alright. I didn’t mean to yell at you. And I shouldn’t have made you leave. I didn’t really want to kick you out.”
“I knew you didn’t.”
Victoria doubted this but laughed anyway. She thought about giving Willow a hug.
“Uh, Vic.” They both turned around. It was Madelyn. “Someone’s here to see you.”
“Who?” Victoria asked.
“That handsome guy, hasn’t been here in over a month. The one I used to tease you about, pretending he got a crush on you. Truth is, I think he got a little something for me, but I’m a few years older than him. I mean, I don’t mind.”
Victoria stood, counted backward from nine. She knew it could only be Russell, but she didn’t understand why he was there after so many weeks without an appointment. She took a resounding breath and went out, Willow right behind her.
“Good to see you,” Russell said with a casual wave. He was leaning against the archway that adjoined the foyer and the reception area. Willow waved back and left the two of them alone. Russell stepped closer to Victoria, who was resting her bottom on the reception desk. “I know I missed our last couple of sessions. I’ve had some family stuff. Nothing I need to talk to you about.”
She reached for the wall to steady herself. It had been quite a while since she’d last seen him, and he looked different. Same, but different. The same eyes but a smokier brown. The same smile but with more of a sparkle. That same gutsy tone of his with a deeper richness. But those weren’t observations she would share with him.
“You hungry? I brought some food. Birria tacos. And quesadillas. I thought about bringing some pupusas too—the taco spot is two doors down from my favorite stand.”
Victoria folded her arms. They stood there, the two of them, each waiting for the other to speak. She wanted to ask why he’d stopped coming. There were several clients she hadn’t seen in a while, but he was the only one she missed talking to.
“So why are you here, Russell? Not simply to bring me tacos, I’m sure.” Her shaky voice betrayed her nerves, the shock of his unexpected presence.
Russell set the bags down, then rubbed his palms together, working himself up. “I’m just gonna come straight out and say it. I... I’m kind of into you, you know what I’m saying?”
Something danced in her stomach, what she could only label as delight. She thought about her speech to January months ago, about the risk that he could die. She’d never considered herself a risk-taker. Except for with Jimmie, whom she knew she loved after their first conversation, and back then, she hadn’t worried about the curse anyway, too level-headed for her own good. She wanted to take a risk for Russell. But really, it wasn’t a risk. If she dared cross that line, his death was inevitable. That’s what Nickie didn’t understand. And maybe she never would until she, too, lost someone she loved. She placed her hands on her torso to quell the sensation.
“Not really, Russell. I mean, we have a professional relationship,” she finally responded, feigning ignorance to let him down more easily.
“I realize that. Which is why I’ve been looking for another therapist.”
Victoria straightened. So he was firing her? Is that the real reason he’d missed the recent sessions?
“But I mean, you’re amazing. The best therapist I’ve ever had.”
He was surely bullshitting her now. “Russell, you told me you’ve never gone to therapy before.”
He put his hands up, showing his teeth as he laughed. “You got me. Yes, you’re correct. But I know that whoever I go to next won’t even come close to you. The other day, I figured out that it didn’t make sense to keep things going, not the way I was feeling. I had planned to just let things go. To move on with another therapist and, you know, just let fate take over. If I was meant to run into you again, I would. And then your daughter called and—”
“My daughter called you? Nickie?”
He came closer. “Oh. Damn. Shoot. I wasn’t supposed to say that.”
Had Nickie met him any of those times she filled in for Willow? What was that girl thinking?
“It wasn’t right, and I know it. I admit, I’m the one that planted the seed, but I never thought she’d go through with it. Aw, geez, now I’ve gone and gotten the girl in trouble.”
She didn’t think that Nickie would dare even fathom such a move, but with this, her antics in the chem lab, it seemed anything was plausible now. She called Willow over, knew her sister had to have been listening from the adjoining family room, telling Madelyn to hush so she could hear better.
“I’m really sorry, Ms. Victoria. You see, I ran into your daughter awhile back and told her how I felt about you. That I...had feelings for you,” Russell continued. “But that’s not why I’m here. Honest. I really did want to bring you tacos. And see if there was someone you could refer me to. I don’t mind driving if you don’t know anyone close.”
Willow was at her side in an instant. “What do you need, Vic?”
“Willow, can you please go get Nickie?” Willow wouldn’t officially come back to work for her yet, but she’d get the job done faster than Madelyn.
Once Willow left, Russell turned the conversation back to tacos, telling her about some of his favorite spots in the area, which somehow managed to make Victoria forget momentarily about what Nickie had done. Then from nowhere, Russell reached for her hand. It was both firm and soft. “This might be me thinking too much of myself, but sometimes, I get the feeling that you got a little something for me too. Like, it’s mutual.”
Victoria held Russell’s gaze, the browns of his eyes intoxicating and warm, like long-brewed tea. On his cheek, she noticed a rusty smear of orange. He must have sampled the tacos in the car on the way over.
“Vic!”
She jumped and let go of Russell’s hand, hoping her sister hadn’t realized she’d just broken up an intimate moment.
“Vic.”
Victoria shook her head. “What is it, Willow?”
“Nickie’s gone. She’s not upstairs, and her backpack isn’t in her room. She must have left out the back.”
Gone? But that didn’t make sense. Nickie had hurried upstairs to her room right after they’d returned from the school. Victoria excused herself and signaled for Willow to handle Russell. She dashed up the stairs to the upper floor. First, she went to her own bedroom and, when she didn’t find Nickie there, checked her closet, Nickie’s room, Willow’s room, the hall closet, the shared upstairs bathroom, Madelyn’s room.
Willow was in the hallway when Victoria hustled back to the stairs, sure that the girl must be in the kitchen.
“Vic,” Willow said, following her. “We’ve checked the whole house. She’s not here.”
She stayed quiet, focused on covering the first floor, knowing there had to be an explanation. Nickie had no car, no place to go, no good reason to leave. When she reached the foyer, Madelyn and Augusta had joined Russell, concern painted on their faces.
“Maybe she had a study date tonight. She’s been working hard on this project with Marjorie Herrera and Alex Stevens. Perhaps she went to meet them somewhere,” Madelyn said, in a pair of drawstring pants, pale pink, and a fuzzy white sweater.
A flitter of envy hit Victoria, stunned by the details her mother knew about Nickie. “She probably just went to the store. That’s all.”
Madelyn nodded, and so did Willow. Augusta frowned, a wave of doubt wedged into her forehead.
“We’ll just wait, Nan. She’s okay.” Victoria turned to Russell, smiling weakly.
He smiled back, but she could tell it was just to comfort her. “Look, you guys take the food. This is probably the wrong time. I’ll... I’ll call to get that reference, Ms. Victoria.”
After he took off, the four women remained in the foyer, the question on their lips: after getting caught stealing, receiving detention, and upsetting Victoria so, had Nickie left home and gone to see Felix?