Chapter Four

I woke completely unrested with raccoon eyes and a chip on my shoulder the size of Texas. Luckily, my dreams were black. Dream casting would have made me even more exhausted than I already was. I would have probably predicted Malakai and Sara’s wedding or something equally as putrid. The sick feeling in my stomach returned with that thought. Blessedly, by the time I pulled myself together, showered, and left my room, Kai was already gone. I chanced a look to the open door at the end of the hallway. Someone made the bed, and the room was empty―empty like my barren, delusional heart. Madison opened their bedroom door a few seconds after I stepped into the hallway. She had ears like a hawk.

“I heard it all last night, you and Malakai talking...are you okay?” She approached with worried, kind eyes. “I wanted to come to your room last night after I heard him leave, but Dan said you’d want to be left alone.” She hugged me tightly. I reached up gently to hug her back. Hugs weren’t my thing, but any kind of affection was welcome at that moment.

“Was he right? You wanted to be by yourself last night?” She pulled back to read my eyes. “Don’t be mad I didn’t come.” I squashed her guilt immediately.

“Of course he was right. You know I’d rather have mental and emotional breakdowns by myself.” I smirked. “I mean, who doesn’t?” I rested my hands on her slight shoulders.

“You are a great friend, the best friend, for leaving me to my own pitiful devices. Now? It’s a new day.” I ran my hand down her shoulder to her wrist to touch her diamond tattoo as a sign of love and friendship. “Let’s make the best of it. Rumor has it the love of my life arrives today.” I raked my hands down my body, displaying my outfit. “How do I look?” I smacked my lips together and puckered. “I put on that cherry lip gloss I stole from you last month.” Smoothing my tongue over my teeth I asked, “Irresistible, no?” I felt like hell, like a helium balloon had taken up residence in my skull. Meeting anyone new, my match aside, would be daunting. I hoped I could refrain from injuring the guy too badly. I had to remember he had nothing to do with the pairing―the Elders did. He was just as much a bystander as I was.

“The outfit is okay...but maybe you could put on some color? I have a blouse you could borrow. Daniel ran back to the hotel to get our things last night. I have your bag in my room.” She ushered me toward her bedroom.

“Thank the brazen Bruxas. I was worried I’d never see my things, again.” I cherished the few things I did have. Not having a permanent closet really put a damper on my style. Madison traveled with more. She had Daniel to tote around the extra baggage. I walked into the room just as Daniel was walking out. He gave me a forced smile and kept his gaze down. He wasn’t going to bring up last night, bless him. Maybe he did know me better than Mad.

“See you guys downstairs. I’ll go grab us some breakfast.” He tossed Madison one last set of goo-goo eyes and left. On a second thought, he popped his head back into the doorway. “Oh, no one is here except us. I made the rounds, already. The store must be closed on Sundays.” Great. Putting off meeting Sara made me a little happier, although never meeting her would be ideal. That thieving bitch.

Mad said, “Okay, awesome. See you in a few, Danny.” She used a nickname only she could get away with. I silently wondered if I would ever call someone a nickname. Would I love someone so fiercely that everything else was background noise? Unfettered love was a foreign concept to me.

I stared in the bathroom mirror as Madison ran a bristled brush through my hair. It was getting long. I’d need to cut it, soon.

“You need a haircut.” Madison answered my thoughts.

“I was just thinking the same thing.” I brushed my long bangs to the side to examine my eyes. Their unnatural puff would definitely give away my heinous night.

“Well, if no one is here, it can’t hurt. Can you please close the bedroom door?” She clicked the lock in place and returned. The human Patrol scoured the streets for magic wielders during the day, and the more feared Bruxa Patrol takes their turn at night. No one should be around to sense my casting this morning. Madison looked a little wary. “It’s okay…just a quick one. I have to fix this face.” I puffed my cheeks out and let them bounce back into place. She giggled.

My tattoo was already brightly sparkling on my wrist. “Eyes have cried, men have lied, ice the swollen parts, God knows I’ve already tried.” I released my wrist to smooth the icy skin under my eyes now back down to normal size. The cool, casting magic swirled around both of us in the small bathroom. I immediately felt better knowing I looked better. I ended the quick cast with: “Thank you cold, now lose your hold.” The sparkling fog of magic dissipated with ease. I smiled weakly at my reflection.

“See? So much better. Let’s go get some breakfast, now.” I turned to Mad as she gave me a quick nod of approval and moved for the door.

“Your secret is safe with me,” she muttered as we entered the bookstore through the false door. Daniel was already sitting at a table in the corner with a place set for all three of us. Our coffee was piping hot and the bagels fixed exactly how each of us liked.

“Someone else must have cast this morning,” I said then sat down to the first sip of delicious, hot coffee. Speed skill really was the best.

“My casting was done outside the store.” Daniel raised his eyebrows at me to insinuate my wrongdoing.

I said, “I wasn’t in the store, either.” Technically, I wasn’t. He shook his head at me and took a bite out of his breakfast before asking a question with a mouthful of food.

“Do we know what time your match Xander gets here?” The name spoken aloud hit me like a punch to the stomach.

Madison turned to me with wide eyes. I didn’t tell them I already got a glimpse of my match in a dream cast. Well, I got a glimpse of his back. It was always a shame when a dream ended before I was ready for it to. “I’m not sure. The Patrolman who gave me the information just said he would find you, today,” she said then glanced at Daniel. “Maybe we should go somewhere in public, today? A park? Or we were thinking maybe we could all go somewhere public every day. Maybe college classes? We’ve been saying we want to have real lives here away from Cadiza, but it’s yet to happen.” She reached over and grabbed Daniel’s hand. “We want to try something normal, Sam. If we don’t do it now, when will we do it?”

“Being on the run for three years has taken its toll. It’s now or never. Let’s try it out,” Daniel said. I couldn’t say I was blind-sided by their request. I wanted the same thing they wanted, which was why we’d been together for so long. We had the same goals. I was just abashed at thinking of enrolling in college classes on top of dealing with my other problems. It wasn’t fair to punish them for that.

“I feel the same way,” I said and looked down into my milky, brown coffee. “Okay, let’s try it out. I owe you guys at least that much. I think it will be fun.” I contemplated a lot of things in those moments before the front door of Griffin’s blasted in with a gust of casting magic streaming in its wake.

Daniel stood up, taking the front point of our defensive triangle. His speed would incapacitate someone quicker than one of my casts. Although I could make myself invisible and escape rather quickly, I would never leave them behind.

“Who’s there?” Madison screeched in her high-pitched, soprano voice. It always amazed me how she could make her baby voice sound so scary.

“Show yourself,” Daniel said, scanning the room left to right in a militant manner.

“I can sense the magic but not the Bruxa,” I whispered to Madison. It was odd as every Bruxa had a signature. A book fell off a shelf to our right. We all turned to face the threat immediately. “Someone is using invisibility,” I said in a hushed, shocked whisper. My voice was tough, but my heart was racing. I was scared. I stepped out of our triangle and ran toward the spot where the book fell. The element of surprise was always the key when dealing with invisibility casts. Halfway to the shelf, I ran into something hard. It was brick hard. A wall? All forward motion halted as I tripped awkwardly and hit the ground so hard that I blacked out.

I came to a few seconds later and realized the ground I thought I fell on a few moments before was actually a person…a large, handsome person. His invisibility cast was now gone. I was lying on top of him in a more than awkward straddling position.

I raised my head up to look at his face. I needed to consider the threat―if it even was a threat. My mind was hazy. I blinked my eyes a few times to adjust to the light and banish the swirling, colorful stars. His face finally came into focus. Xander. I recognized his hair and somehow just knew. He had a devil-may-care grin on his face but was hesitant to speak.

I brought my hand up to touch his hair, to make sure he was real. Invisibility really messed with your mind. I knew this from firsthand experience. Reality got blurred. He winced as I touched him. He was probably scared of what I might do to him. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to do to him. Everything about that moment was utterly conflicting—the attraction, the potent magic threatening to suffocate me with lust.

Meeting Xander was akin to aligning stars in the sky. It was a moment of confusing clarity. I saw Mad and Dan out of the corner of my eye, gaping at our tangled body parts on the floor. Kai walked through the broken doorway at that very moment.

Kai didn’t look at me, only Xander. That was a feat in itself as we were so tangled and close. He studied him from head to toe and finally said, “You undefined seem to have a real problem using doors in a proper fashion.” He picked up and muscled the door back into the frame. “So much for not using magic.” He shook his head angrily. Xander gently pulled himself up, making sure he didn’t dump me unceremoniously on the ground. He approached Kai with an extended hand.

Kai stared at Xander’s offered hand and looked back at his face. He made no move to shake hands in greeting. Xander looked miffed and dropped his hand with a small head shake. He expected hostility from Malakai. I wondered who told him of our romantic past.

“Hey, man…I’m really sorry about your door. I wish I could say witch hunters or Patrolmen were chasing me or even a pit bull, but I was just stretching my casting muscles out. I’m not so great with the natural elements, yet.” Xander looked back at me still sitting on the floor. “Nice ice elemental cast this morning, by the way. It’s what helped me find you in this massive city. I never expected to find you here.”

He raised his eyebrows in an expression of surprise or shock. “The letter from the Elders only said you’d be in San Diego. I’d seen a few photos of you, and you showed up in a dream cast or two. I was told I’d be able to trace your powers, because we are on the same wavelength…or something like that.” He held out his hand to help me up.

“Funny. I didn’t catch any traces of your power when you blew down the door or even when I ran directly into you.” His face held wonder as he watched me speak. It occurred to me it was our first conversation. I could see Kai watching our interaction intently over Xander’s shoulder. His gaze was piercing and heart wrenching. Xander’s deep green eyes were the opposite of Kai’s deep blue. I did my best to control my words for everyone’s sake.

“Xander, it’s nice to meet you, but no one is on my wavelength regardless of what you’ve been told. I’m more of a lone wolf,” I said, turning around to face Madison and Daniel for the first time since Kai entered. “Well, you know. Except for these two. They are basically just extensions of myself.” Xander didn’t look offended by my dismissal. Great. He was going to be hard to get rid of―just my luck. My hand involuntarily came up to cradle the side of my head as the pain from the fall finally surfaced. It was that or the stress of having these men in such close proximity making me catatonic. The man I loved and the man I was supposed to love forever standing together was enough to make anyone sick. I sucked in a deep breath and shut my eyes, thinking everyone would disappear before I opened them. I should have known better.

“Samantha, are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Kai asked angrily.

“I’m fine. I guess I can expect a headache when I constantly run into such tumultuous situations.” When I opened my eyes, Kai was closest, so I shot him a glare. Let him think what he wanted. Xander was next to him with a concerned look on his face. Yeah, it would be really hard to get rid of that one. I’d have to level with him.

“Xander, will you walk me to my room? I need to lie down, but we should talk first...if you don’t mind?” He took my arm in reply. I led him to the false wall and looked back before sliding the book. Mad and Dan were sweeping up the broken glass from the door, and Kai was leaning against the counter and looking at the ceiling in distant thought. I wondered where Sara was. I almost wished she was there to see the huge display of witchery Kai seemed to want to protect her from. Xander’s voice brought me out of my sulking.

“Wow. Someone hid this place pretty well. It’s as if he’s been expecting house guests for a while…criminal house guests at that. No one will find this place.” He ran his free hand against the wall as we walked. I wondered how trusting I should be of him, how much I should tell him or ask him. I didn’t know him from Adam. On the other hand, I did feel close to him. Oddly close. It had to be the fact that we shared some of the same skills, or did we share all the same skills? I had so many questions. Now was the time to start.

“Where did you come from?” I asked.

“Los Angeles.” Now, his carefree attitude made sense, although the answer did nothing to help me figure him out.

“Is there a Bruxa commune there?” I was confused.

“No way. It’s L.A.” He laughed as he answered my question. Yep, he’s definitely a carefree, SoCal resident. “My parents adopted me when I was an infant. I’ve never met my birth parents. No one knows I’m a Bruxa. Jade found out somehow and began contacting me on my eighteenth birthday. I studied at college close to Cadiza and went there for training for the last few years.” It all made sense, now.

“You’re undefined, then? For sure?” If he was truly undefined, I could trust him. He’d understand.

“Yes, I have crazy powers.” He wiggled his fingers in my face as if to do a magic trick. I saw a diamond tattoo on his wrist. Jade really had gotten to him. His tattoo was glowing as softly as mine had been since I came into contact with my so-called match. Maybe our powers multiplied when we were together. I decided it would be handy to keep him around.

“What did Jade tell you to do when you found me?” We’d reached the closed door where I was staying. His fate hung in the balance and depended on how he answered this question. I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. I knew Daniel would climb the stairs quicker, so I knew it was Kai. I wondered if he could hear our conversation. Not yet, I surmised. Perhaps he was checking up on me. I turned back to Xander with a new resolve.

“Woo you. I’m supposed to make you fall completely in love with me and use my charms to get you out of those tight pants. They make your ass look amazing, by the way.” I couldn’t help the foolish blush crossing my cheeks. He wanted me. He may have been joking about the pants part, or maybe he wasn’t, but he definitely wanted me. His face was open and easy to read. I took that brief time to study it more closely. He had a chiseled jaw line, and his cheekbones were picture perfect. His flawlessly sculpted lips parted in invitation. He was waiting for my response with gleaming, white teeth barely peeking out from behind his lips. I was positive he didn’t expect what I did next.

I grabbed his biceps, turned him around, and slammed his back against my bedroom door. His breathing was ragged. His eyes looked wild, crazed even, but he didn’t object.

I slid my hands up to his face and stared at his eyes. They were full of wonder and excitement. I brought his face down to mine, and our lips met for the first time, fitting together with precision and ease. An instinctive intimacy between our entwined bodies forced me to sigh with pleasure. His lips were warm and wet as he trailed soft kisses down my neck. I leaned my head back to accept the craved attention.

When he grabbed my bottom and closed the gap between our bodies, it was evident he wanted more. If I was being honest, I wanted more, too. I wanted all of him, right then. For a moment, I forgot why I wanted to kiss him to begin with. Then, Kai cleared his throat behind me, and it all came crashing back. It was only supposed to be a small, innocent kiss to make Kai jealous. Nothing more.

“Her ass is pretty amazing, isn’t it? I came up to grab Sara’s things. She won’t be staying here, anymore. Not that you care, Samantha. Carry on. Who am I to interrupt true love’s kiss? The wicked queen would have my head for that.” Kai’s tone was sarcastic, but I heard the hurt and jealousy behind his words. He took one more look at Xander with pure challenge in his eyes and walked away. I watched him stride past us to his door and jumped a little as he slammed it behind him. Xander was undeterred and obviously accepted Kai’s silent challenge, because he pulled me into the bedroom. He closed the door behind us as soon as I focused my attention back to him.

He looked like he was ready to pounce. “So, where were we before we got so rudely interrupted?” I walked toward the bed, sat down, and stared at Xander approaching. He was the perfect specimen of a Bruxa. It was all perfect, except I was in love with someone else. Maybe I could love him if I had time to get to know him, but I would never return to Cadiza. With the magic of the heated moment broken, I was able to recall what I had to say. Xander needed to know the truth up front.

“You know I’ll never go back to Cadiza, right? I don’t want to give you false hope of some Bruxa happily ever after. This is how I live, now. I may dodge the Patrol everyday, but my life is free of Elders and of being controlled.” I stared at my boots and clicked the heels together self-consciously.

“I don’t know what you promised Jade. I really hope you don’t have to break your word. Maybe, we can be friends...or more, eventually. If that’s what’s meant to be.” I looked up at Xander to assess how he processed my omission. He was listening intently. “I want to pick who I want, and not because someone said I should pick you. Do you understand?” I waited for his response. Would he be angry that he had to go back to Jade empty-handed? He would surely be punished for that. Instead, he sat beside me on the bed and put one arm around me gently.

“I get it. I do. I figured that was why you left to begin with. I knew I wouldn’t be able to change your mind but had to try. I feel by myself with this undefined bullshit. You know I dreamed of this conversation, too? I just didn’t know when exactly it would take place. My skills are untrained in a lot of ways. I want you to help me. I’m on your side. Maybe, I can help you.” He was being genuine. I felt it emanating from his very being. It was so strange to get a read of someone as strongly. “If one day you have the burning urge to rip off my pants and have your way with me, I won’t be opposed to that, either.” He was only half-joking, but it lightened the mood a little.

“Your feelings for the angry man a few doors down are evident, even if Jade didn’t give me the lowdown on your love life.” I pushed my shoulder into him in a mock, fighting move. “Hey, if you want to suck face with me to make him jealous....anytime. That’s all I’m saying. Anytime, Sam.” He knew I kissed him to make Malakai jealous? Oh, God. I wanted to die of embarrassment.

I buried my face in my hands and muttered, “You’ve got to be kidding me? You knew? Gosh, really convincing acting…too convincing.”

He pointed to the door then forced me to look at him by gently raising my chin. “That was not acting.” My heart skipped a beat. I flushed, remembering the kiss.

“I guess it was only half-acting on my part, too.” Remorse peppered my voice.

“Half? No way. Your efforts were more than half.”

“Okay, more than half. No more acting, though.”

“Why? I don’t care if he’s pissed at me,” he said through a perfectly sculpted smile. That smile―it would haunt my dreams whether I wanted it to or not. If Xander and I were close by, would we share dreams? This question brought up a whole new set of problems.

“Yeah, well we should probably keep it civil, especially if you’re staying here.” I brought up the point of housing for the first time. “Not here, obviously.” I gestured to my bed then got up and started pacing. It was a habit of mine when I was thinking. “You don’t have anywhere else to go, do you?” Maybe, he had an apartment in the city. That would make things easier.

“Nope. Homeless. Do you think the angry beast will rent me a room from his dormitory up here? It doesn’t look like he’s too picky with his tenants. I bet he didn’t even check your references,” Xander whispered with a half-smile playing on his lips.

“Hah. I’ll talk to him.” Thinking about talking to Kai made my skin crawl. I doubted he’d ever talk to me again after the display in the hallway. I imagined what he thought Xander and I were doing behind a closed door. I felt like an idiot. I sauntered over and opened the door as wide as it would go.

“The room across the hall is empty for the meantime. I have to find Madison and Dan, as we’re enrolling in college.” This was another example of my idiotic tendencies. I reapplied my lip gloss and headed for the exit. Xander met me by the door and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“Cherry’s my favorite.” His sweet breath on my neck melted my insides. I was stronger than that. I needed to watch myself around him if I was going to keep my head on straight. I broke the close, intimate contact by rushing out the door and down the hallway.

“See you later, Xander,” I called out loudly. His bulging biceps in his tight, black T-shirt were the furthest thing from my mind. I filed it in the memory bank called “trouble” and went downstairs to look for more of the same.

I found a dark purple rose balancing perfectly on my doorknob when I got home that night. A warm feeling filled me as I realized whom the seemingly insignificant flower came from. Is he forgiving me? What did it mean? I hoped it wasn’t some nasty trick.

I whispered, “Roses are red.” I recalled the memory from years ago.

It was a memory of Kai. The flower was from him.