Lisa swallowed so hard she was sure that Belinda could hear it over the phone. “I really don’t remember. A man came to the ranch the other day. He said he was Roger Hampton and he was my husband, and he tried to get me to leave with him.”
“He what?” A string of curses followed. Then, “That creep. That arrogant, overblown piece of frog bait. That bastard! That…that lawyer.”
Her last word was delivered with such venom that it surprised a laugh out of Lisa.
“That no good pile of human refuse,” Belinda said heatedly, “is your ex-husband, and good riddance to bad rubbish.”
Lisa swallowed. Her gaze whipped to Jack. “My…my ex-husband? I’m divorced?” The relief that flooded her was almost overwhelming.
“You bet your hind end you are, and very happily, I might add. You divorced him after barely a year of marriage because he cheated on you from the beginning. Now he’s trying to coerce you into marrying him again. That’s why you came to the ranch, to get away from him.”
With her gaze still locked on Jack, Lisa gripped the phone tighter. “Oh, God.” It was coming back. All of it, in huge, solid waves. “I remember.”
The enormity of the onrush made her stagger. She reached out to catch herself, and Jack was there, steadying her with a hand on her shoulder.
She spoke into the phone, but her words were for Jack. “I remember.”
On the other end of the line Belinda let out a loud yell. “You remember something? What? What?”
Lisa shouted with laughter. “You, for starters. Oh, Belinda, it’s you. I know you. I know me! I called you. You offered me a place to stay. I remember!”
Jack’s hand was still on her shoulder, squeezing gently. Lisa placed her hand over his and returned the pressure.
Jack couldn’t take his eyes off her. While she spoke with Belinda, he watched animation light her eyes and curve her lips. She had her memory back and was glowing with it.
He’d wanted her memory to return. He was elated for her. He was especially glad to learn that she wasn’t married to Hampton.
Hell, glad didn’t even come close. The strength of the emotion that swept through him when she’d said ex-husband should probably worry him. After all, it shouldn’t matter to him, except that naturally he wanted Lisa to be happy, and he didn’t see how she could be with the man he’d met the other day.
But he couldn’t worry about it just then. It was taking all his willpower to keep from picking her up in his arms and swinging her around the room. Which was not the sort of thing a man ought to do with a woman who was within a month of having a baby. Less than a month now, he realized.
Besides, he was honest enough with himself to admit that he wanted to do more than swing her around the room. More than hold her in his arms. But having been married to a sleeze like Hampton, who would lie to a woman with no memory and try to take advantage of her, Jack wouldn’t be surprised if Lisa never wanted anything to do with a man again.
“Are you kidding?” Lisa was saying when Jack finally tuned back in. “You should see me. Basketball be damned. I look like I’m smuggling a giant beach ball.”
The two women spoke for several more minutes, then promised each other a good long visit when Belinda and Ace came home at the end of the week.
Lisa turned away from Jack to hang up the phone. She took an inordinate amount of time about it, reluctant to turn back and face him. What would she see in his eyes, and he in hers, now that they both knew she wasn’t married?
Maybe she was wrong to hope, but she wanted…oh, damn, she wanted him to want her, but who was she kidding? Single or not, she was as big as a barn and had never felt so unattractive in her life. What would a man like Jack want with a woman like her?
“Lisa?”
She couldn’t stand there all night with her back to him as though she was afraid to face him. She wasn’t afraid. Of course she wasn’t.
She was terrified.
But she turned around, anyway, because she couldn’t stand not knowing for another second.
Neither spoke. They looked at each other, not touching, for a long moment before Jack reached out and pulled her to him. She could read his intention in his eyes. Her heart soared. He was going to kiss her. If he didn’t hurry, she feared she might die of wanting.
He lowered his head until his mouth was only a breath away from hers. “I want to kiss you.”
“What’s stopping you?”
He smiled slightly. “Nothing. Absolutely—” he brushed his lips across hers once “—nothing.” Twice.
At the touch of his mouth, Lisa stopped breathing. She wanted more, much more. And then he was giving it to her, softly, relentlessly. He was so gentle, the kiss so tender, she felt her eyes sting as they slid closed.
Moments ago she had regained her memory, but as Jack kissed her, every kiss she’d ever had faded away into nothing. There was only this, only Jack. Only now. Never had anything moved her so much.
He deepened the kiss and she melted. Simply…melted. Kissing Jack was like nothing she’d ever experienced. It was at once a brilliant sunset and a quiet dawn. It sparkled, it shimmered, it devoured her.
The heat surprised her. So did the low growl from Jack’s throat.
Oh, my. She had never made a man growl before. How empowering. How liberating. She threaded her fingers through his hair and silently begged for more.
Jack gave it, and gladly. He’d been holding back, trying not to come on too strong, when what he’d wanted to do was devour her. With her offering, he did.
Now he knew why he’d been drawn to her, why he’d wanted to taste her lips so badly. Something must have been telling him she would go to his head faster than whiskey. He’d known she would taste sweet. He had anticipated the fire she ignited deep inside him.
Hunger and need gripped him, and he tasted both on her lips. Deeper and deeper he took them until he was gasping for breath. And still he kissed her, stroked her tongue with his in a rhythm dictated by the pounding of blood in his loins.
With his hands he explored. Her back was trim, delicate yet strong. When his palms brushed the sides of her breasts and she inhaled sharply, he realized things were about to go too far, and he eased back.
“He was wrong,” he whispered fiercely against her lips. He took one last hard taste, then tore his mouth free. “You are very good at this.”
Breathless, Lisa forced herself to open her eyes and look at him. In his eyes she saw the same intense wonder that she felt. Slowly, she smiled. “So are you.”
They stood there in each other’s arms, staring at each other and grinning for a long moment without speaking.
Then Jack stroked her cheek with one fingertip and said, “Will you tell me what happened on the phone? Did everything come back to you?”
Still smiling, Lisa tilted her head back and closed her eyes. “Yes. It just came. One minute my past was a blank, the next everything flooded back.”
Jack watched her exposed throat as she spoke. It would have taken a stronger man than he to resist. He pressed his lips there, nibbled lightly with his teeth, and was rewarded with Lisa’s small needy whimper.
“Oh, Jack,” she whispered.
From her throat he kissed and nibbled his way up and over her jaw to her ear. When she shivered, his hands trembled. His hands had never trembled with a woman before. At least not since his first time, when he’d been fifteen.
He wasn’t fifteen anymore, but Lisa made him feel all those same hot trembly feelings. He wasn’t some fumbling teenager, yet he was close to fumbling. This was Lisa in his arms, and he was a grown man. With as many highs and lows as her emotions had seen during the past week, she was too vulnerable. When he made love to her, he wanted her steady. He wanted her to know what she was doing. He wasn’t sure she did just then.
“So tell me…” He took a final taste of her earlobe, then eased back and smiled at her. “Where did you live when you were ten?”
Lisa blinked at his abrupt change of mood. She didn’t know whether to punch him for getting her all worked up and then leaving her that way, or be grateful that he hadn’t taken them any farther. She settled on grateful.
“The same place I lived from the time I was three until I was eighteen—the state orphanage.”
“You said your parents disappeared. You were never adopted?”
“No.”
“I…don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say,” she told him. “That’s just the way it was. I never knew anything else. I knew there was something else. I knew what families were, and I always wanted one.” She heaved a sigh. “I need to explain about Roger, but it could take a while. I’m going to have a glass of milk. Would you like me to put on a fresh pot of coffee?”
“I’ll do it.”
While Jack started the coffee, Lisa poured herself some milk.
“Maybe,” she said, “if I hadn’t wanted a family so badly, I might not have fallen for Roger’s charm.”
Jack leaned back against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. His eyes narrowed with skepticism. “Charm?”
“Oh, yes.” She sipped her milk and paced the length of the table and back. “Roger can be very charming when he wants to be. I was young—twenty-two. He was twenty-eight. He’d been working as a public defender for a couple of years and had just left there and joined his family’s law firm. Very old, very prestigious. And he was…dazzling.”
Jack wanted to snort in disgust, but refrained. She wasn’t all dreamy-eyed while she was telling him this. There was a note of self-derision in her voice.
“But it was his family I really fell for. He had all these brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins. There are scads of Hamptons just in the Denver area alone. The first time he took me to meet them, it was July Fourth. They welcomed me as if I belonged and made me feel a part of them right from the start.”
This time, Jack noted, there was wistfulness in her eyes.
“Oh, I loved his family. I knew if I married him I would finally have the family I’d always wanted. I’m ashamed to say I let them blind me to Roger’s true nature.”
Behind Jack the coffee finished brewing. He took a cup from the cabinet and filled it.
Lisa set her glass on the table. With her hands splayed across her abdomen, she took up her pacing again.
“Is she kicking?” Jack asked.
Lisa smiled briefly. “No, she’s quiet right now. It’s me I’m trying to keep calm, but it’s not easy when I think about that stunt Roger pulled, showing up here and lying the way he did. I can’t believe that jerk. I realize now that he didn’t claim to be my husband the other day until after he found out I had amnesia. The slime. He knew I wouldn’t be able to deny it.”
If she was trying to stay calm, Jack noted, he didn’t want to see her riled. Anger sprung rapidly to life across her features.
“His detective must have found me,” she muttered.
Jack set his coffee cup on the counter. “His detective?” he said slowly. She wasn’t the only one feeling anger all of a sudden. “Your ex-husband had you followed by a detective?”
“For months,” she stated flatly. “Which is one reason I came here.” She stopped pacing and put a hand to her forehead. “Dammit. I can’t…I can’t remember…”
“Can’t remember what?”
She let out a groan of frustration. “I guess there are still holes in my memory. I’m sure I would have checked my rearview mirror to make sure no one was behind me when I turned off at the ranch, but I can’t remember doing it. I can’t even remember getting here, for that matter.”
“Wait a minute. You’re so used to being followed that you make a habit of checking your rearview mirror before turning off somewhere? What kind of bastard is Hampton?”
“The royal, card-carrying, certified kind,” she said with a snarl. “I was so happily divorced. What in the world was I thinking to let that conniving egomaniac near me again?” She whirled—or she came as close to it as a woman eight months pregnant can—and stomped across the floor and back. “I must have been out of my mind.” She took another lap, harder, faster this time. “I should have been committed for even speaking to him again.” She spun on her heel.
Jack snagged her arm before she could start back across the room. “You’re gonna make the kid seasick.” He nudged her toward a chair at the table. “Sit. Take a deep breath. Drink some milk.”
“Okay.” She sat. “You’re right.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then let it out. “I get worked up when I think about Roger.” She took a sip of milk. “He was having me followed. He was showing up everywhere I went. The stress was getting to me. I was afraid…”
“You were afraid of him?” Let him show up here again, by God, and I’ll teach that bastard a lesson he won’t soon forget.
“No, not like you mean. Not for myself, anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
She sighed. “Several months ago…” She paused and stroked her belly with both hands. “More than eight. About a year, actually. I ran into Roger at a party one of my clients gave. It was the first time I’d seen him since the divorce three years earlier. I told you he could be charming. He was more than charming that night. He was…disarming. He told me that divorcing him was the smartest thing I’d ever done, that he had deserved every accusation I’d made. When he apologized, he seemed so genuinely sincere. Contrite. And for the first time since the divorce, he asked me to forgive him. I really, really thought he’d changed.”
She paused and took another sip, then set the glass down and cupped it in both palms. “You aren’t asking what I needed to forgive him for.”
Jack didn’t want to ask, but he had to know. “I already know he was emotionally abusive. Was he physically abusive, too?”
“No. No, nothing like that. I didn’t even understand at the time that he was emotionally abusive. All I knew was that he cheated on me the entire year we were married. I didn’t find out about it for a long time, and even then I kept thinking…Well, I guess I wasn’t thinking at all. He married me to please his family and expected me to ignore his little outings, as he called them.”
“I was right, wasn’t I. He told you his cheating was your fault.”
“Oh, yeah.” She slugged back the last of her milk as if it was a shot of tequila. All she needed was a lime to suck on for the picture to be complete.
“He lied, you know,” Jack said, keeping his tone easy when what he wanted to do was get his hands around Roger Hampton’s throat and squeeze.
“Anyway, where was I?” she asked, ignoring Jack’s comment.
“Lisa, he lied. It was not your fault.”
“Oh, I know that.” She lowered her gaze and stared at her empty glass. “It doesn’t matter how lousy I was in bed, he still made the decision to cheat on me.”
“That’s not what I—”
“The night I saw him at the party last year, he asked me to dinner.”
Jack ground his teeth together and let her talk. But he wasn’t through with the topic of her husband telling her she was lousy in bed. Damn the man.
But what if she was? What if she just lay there like a cold fish?
Jack snorted at the thought.
“Did you say something?”
“No, sorry.” He’d meant what he’d told her that night they came home from town and she’d first mentioned Roger. She was the warmest, most loving, most generous woman he’d ever known. If she and her husband had marital problems it certainly wasn’t because Lisa was cold or unresponsive. She just wasn’t made that way.
“Jack? You look like you’re trying to swallow ground glass. If you’d rather not hear this…I’m sorry. I thought—”
“No. I’m sorry. I, uh, made the coffee too strong, that’s all. He asked you to dinner?”
She eyed him a moment, then went on. “Yes, he asked me out. When I said no, he said he didn’t blame me and wondered if he could ask me again some other time. I was floored. He was being so nice, so reasonable. I thought—hoped—it meant that he’d finally grown up. I thought that maybe working in his family’s law firm, with his grandfather around all the time, had matured him.
“Oh, he played me like a fish on a line. He waited a month before calling me, and then it was to ask me to his grandfather’s seventieth birthday party. He said his grandfather had been asking about me. God, I was such a sucker.”
Jack stood behind her chair and started massaging her shoulders. “Talking about this is making you tense.”
She moaned. “Mmm. Kissing’s not the only thing you’re good at.”
He hoped she didn’t notice the way his hands tightened abruptly on her shoulders. He’d like to show her a few other things he was good at. “Why, Ms. Hampton, was that a come-on?”
Lisa giggled. “With this shape?” She held her arms out and looked down at her belly. “Not on your life.”
“I’ve told you before, I like your shape.”
“Yeah, you called me a cupcake. I’ll remember that, Sir Jack. Oh, yes, right there,” she said when he hit a particularly tight spot on her shoulder.
The sounds of pleasure she was making were enough to turn Jack’s knees to jelly. Yet at the same time, he ached for the story she’d been telling.
“Where was I?” she asked as if reading his mind. “Oh, yeah.” Her eyes were closed now and her neck limp, head hanging forward. “I was a sucker.”
“I doubt that.”
“No, it’s true. I really was. I went with him to his grandfather’s birthday party, and then we started dating. I didn’t even tell Belinda, because I knew what she’d say. She would have ranted and raved and called me a stupid twit. She would have said that he knew how badly I missed having a family and he was using his to seduce me, and she’d have been right.”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a family. Sounds pretty normal to me, particularly when you grew up without one.”
“It’s not a good enough reason to marry a man. Besides, when people marry because they want a family, it’s usually because they want to start a family of their own, not just because they want a bunch of in-laws.”
“You weren’t in love with him?”
She sighed. “I thought I was. No, I was. I loved him, and he married me because his grandfather liked me.”
“He didn’t love you?”
“Ha. The only time Roger Hampton understands the meaning of the word love is when he looks in a mirror. Why I let myself forget that little personality quirk, I’ll never know.” She shifted her shoulders. “You’ve got to quit that, or I’m going to fall asleep right here at the table. I think I want another glass of milk. Talking about Roger leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”
She started to get up, but Jack whisked her glass away and headed for the fridge. “I’ll get it.”
“Thank you. Has anyone ever told you what a nice man you are?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said, placing her refilled glass before her. “I’m a regular prince. Ask anybody.”
“I don’t need to ask. I mean it, Jack,” she added sincerely. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“You’d have done just fine.”
“Oh, yeah, like I have such a great track record. I didn’t do so fine on my own in Denver, at least not on a personal level. I’d been seeing Roger again for about a month when he called me at work and asked if I wanted to go to a movie that night. I was…well, I was charmed. Again. He’d never taken me to a movie before.”
“Never? You lived in a huge city with dozens of theaters and he never took you?”
“He never said, but I got the impression that he felt going to a movie was too…plebeian for someone of his stature.”
Jack rolled his eyes and refilled his coffee cup.
“I was late leaving work and Roger was going to pick me up. I rushed home, and when I walked into the house, I surprised a burglar.”
“Were you hurt?” Jack demanded instantly.
“No. I was scared to death, though, when he threatened me with my own butcher knife. But Roger burst in and scared the man away.”
“At least he was good for something. Did you get a good look at the burglar? Were the police able to catch him?”
“He was masked. Needless to say, I didn’t feel much like going to the movie after that little experience. I was so rattled I let Roger pour me a drink. He kept pouring them and one thing led to another, and, well—” she gave Jack a wry grin and patted her belly “—he spent the night.”
“Ah.”
“Yes. Ah. I was convinced I was falling in love with him again and that he had completely changed.”
“But he hadn’t?”
“When a snake sheds its skin, it’s still a snake. The morning after…well, the morning after, he left his watch on my nightstand. It was the Rolex his grandfather had given him when he passed the bar, so I decided to drop it off to him at his office on my way to work.”
She sat there for a long moment and stared off into space. “He was there,” she murmured.
“Roger?”
Lisa blinked and cleared her vision. “Roger, and the burglar from the night before.”
“The burglar? In Roger’s office?”
“I would never have recognized him, but I heard them talking. Roger was counting out a great deal of cash, and the man thanked him, said the next time Roger wanted help scaring a woman into bed, just give him a call.”
“Son of a—Roger paid the guy to break into your house and scare you?”
“That’s it in a nutshell. We won’t go into how that made me feel, but I made this really spectacular scene right there in the law offices.” She sipped on her milk. “As it turns out, our divorce was the first divorce in Roger’s family—ever, as far as anyone knew. Roger was pushing his grandfather to make him a partner in the law firm, but George—that’s his grandfather—told him he wasn’t about to have a divorced man as a partner in the firm he’d devoted his life to. So they worked out a deal. If Roger and I remarried, he would get his partnership.”
Jack nearly spewed his mouthful of coffee across the table.
“Yeah, that’s more or less what I thought, too,” Lisa said, noting his reaction. “Roger’s been hounding me ever since—particularly once he found out I was pregnant. He wants that partnership in the worst way. He started calling me, leaving messages, sending flowers to my home and office. He even hired that blasted private investigator so he could claim he loved me so much he simply had to know where I was all the time.”
“Has he ever heard of stalking?” Jack demanded.
“He’s heard of it. I’ve filed more than one complaint with the police.”
“They at least slapped him with a restraining order, I hope.”
“Are you kidding? His uncle, a judge, took care of making sure that never happened, then sent orders down to his cousin, the police captain, to make sure the courts weren’t bothered with any more of my little fairy tales.”
“I see why you wanted to get away.”
“That, plus the wedding plans were getting to me.”
“The what?”
“Roger decided months ago that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer and started making wedding plans. No one’s ever told him no before and made it stick. He’s never lost a case in court, never settled, never plea-bargained. He always gets his way. He’s absolutely convinced that I’ll change my mind.”
“But that’s…that’s…”
“Crazy?” she offered. “Preposterous? Outrageous? All of the above. I finally resorted to contacting his grandfather and telling him to call Roger off.”
“Didn’t work?”
Lisa shook her head. “He said he wouldn’t dream of interfering in our little lovers’ spat.”
“They’re all certifiable in that family.”
“You won’t get an argument out of me. I just hope this poor baby doesn’t inherit it,” she said, rubbing her abdomen. “My doctor agreed that the stress I was under—not from my job, but from Roger—wasn’t good for me or the baby, so I decided to get out of town for a while.” She took another sip of milk. “Oh, good grief!” she exclaimed.
“What?”
“I just remembered all the stuff in my trunk.”
“The trunk of your car?”
She nodded. “Before tonight I had about decided that I had come up here to have the baby, but I couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t brought any baby things with me. That seven thousand—now I remember. All my financial records are in my briefcase in the trunk of the car. Otherwise I would have found them and realized I hadn’t cleaned out my bank accounts to get that much cash.”
Jack’s lips twitched. “You mean you really did steal it?”
Lisa grinned. “At least that would be something colorful I could remember from my past, but no, I didn’t steal it. When I left town, I stopped at a car lot and sold my car. I cashed the check and took the bus to another car lot where I paid cash for an older car. The seven thousand I had in my purse when I got here is what I had left after the purchase.”
“We’ll make a run into town tomorrow afternoon and get your things from your trunk.”
“Thank you.” She sighed. “It seems I’m always thanking you for something.”
“Aw, shucks, ma’am,” he said with an exaggerated drawl. “Here at the Flying Ace, we aim to please.”
She finished her milk and Jack finished his coffee, and they gravitated toward the living room. Jack led her to the couch and sat down beside her.
“So you really did come here to have your baby?”
“I was afraid Roger might do something really crazy if I stayed in Denver, like steal the baby from the hospital to make me marry him.”
“Hell.” Jack rubbed a hand over his face. “I hadn’t thought of something like that, but it sounds like with him anything’s possible.”
“That’s why I called Belinda. I was so stressed out that I couldn’t think straight and didn’t trust my own judgment. I was hoping she would come up with a solution. She’s the one who said I should come here. When she told me about the section house, I thought of all that privacy, where no one could find me, and it sounded like heaven.”
“Until you ended up in the ditch. How did that happen, by the way?”
Lisa frowned. “I don’t remember. I remember getting…no, I don’t. I think…the last thing I remember before coming to when you found me was leaving Denver. How odd that I can remember everything else, but not coming to Wyoming.”
“Not so odd,” Jack said. “Didn’t the doctor say you might have trouble remembering what happened right before the accident?”
“I guess he did.” She grinned. “What can I say? I’ve had amnesia. I forgot.”
He smiled at her. “How does it feel, having your memory back?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“I guess that was a dumb question.”
His look, just a little on the sheepish side, inexplicably pleased Lisa. “It feels liberating. Like I’ve stepped out of the shadows and into the light. How hokey is that?”
“Not hokey.” Jack held her gaze and shook his head. “I can’t tell you how glad I am that everything’s all right now.”
“Everything but good ol’ Roger,” she said with disgust.
“Yeah, good ol’ Roger.” Jack frowned and scratched his jaw. “What are we gonna do about him?”
“He’s not your problem, Jack.”
“Let’s see.” With his hands behind his head, Jack slouched down on the couch until his neck rested against the back and he could study the ceiling. “There’s stalking. We have our own judges in Wyoming,” he added casually. “In fact, we even have one in the family, so to speak. Two can play that game.”
“There’s a Judge Wilder? I thought you were all ranchers.”
“Well, he’s not exactly a Wilder. He’s my sister’s stepson’s late mother’s father’s cousin.”
Lisa blinked in astonishment. “You made that up.”
“Couldn’t. My imagination’s not that good. But now that I think about it, Rachel is adopting Cody, so he’s not her stepson anymore—he’s her son. Anyway, if that judge doesn’t see things our way, there are others. As for Hampton, he came to the ranch and presented himself under false pretenses and tried to get you to leave with him, knowing you didn’t know who he was. I wonder if that could be considered attempted kidnapping.”
Lisa stared at him in awe. “Why do I get the feeling you’re not joking?”
He raised his head and looked at her. “Because I’m not. If we don’t do something about Roger, you’ll be looking over your shoulder the rest of your life. What happens when you want to leave the baby at day care someday? What’s to keep him from snatching her then?”
While it warmed her heart to hear Jack say “we” and refer to her baby as “her,” it chilled her to realize he had a legitimate point. She had to find a way to make Roger leave her and the baby alone.
“It’s not your problem, Jack.”
“You’re not in this alone,” he told her solemnly.
She closed her eyes, half in frustration, half in uncertainty. “I have to stand on my own.”
Jack reached out and took her hand in his. “You can stand on your own without having to stand by yourself.”
Lisa was more touched than she could say. “I guess I have to say it again.”
“Say what?”
“Thank you.” Never had anyone been so generous with her, so giving of himself. She couldn’t bring herself to think that he was merely setting her up for a fall, the way Roger would have, or that he only wanted something from her. Not Jack.
Suddenly he burst out laughing.
As moved as she had been, his laughter came as a crushing blow. She looked away quickly to hide the sudden moisture gathering in her eyes. What a fool she’d been to think he’d been sincere. Men weren’t sincere. Hadn’t she learned that over and over from Roger?
“Hey,” Jack said, placing a finger under her chin and turning her face toward him. “Lisa?”
She jerked her face from his touch. “I’m glad I can be such an easy source of amusement for you.” She pushed herself away from the back of the couch and started to rise.
“Whoa.” Jack grasped her arm and kept her from standing up. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re mad that I laughed because the front of your blouse moved all by itself?”
With her tears swallowed back, irritation set in. Irritation with herself. She’d known, oh, she’d known better than to let any tender feelings develop for a man, to trust a man. Didn’t she always get kicked in the teeth, metaphorically speaking? Didn’t she always—“My blouse?”
He looked at her cautiously. “What did you think I was laughing at?”
“You were laughing at my blouse?”
Frowning, he gave a slight shrug. “The baby must have moved. One little spot of your blouse over your stomach just suddenly poked out, then fell back down.” His voice trailed away, then he asked again, “What did you think I was laughing at?”
Lisa felt like a fool. She had thought for years that men made fools of women, but she was discovering that she apparently needed no help in that department. She could make a fool of herself all on her own.
Her eyes stung again. How incredibly unfair of her to lay Roger’s shortcomings on Jack’s shoulders! How long had she been doing that?
“Talk to me, cupcake.”
“I’m sorry.” Tears nearly choked her. Tears of shame. She buried her face in her hands. “I’m s-sorry.”
“No.”
Oh, God, now he would be disgusted by her tears and would—
You’re doing it again!
This wasn’t Roger. It was Jack. Yet ever since her memory had returned, she seemed to be having trouble keeping them separate in her mind, and that was so unfair. To Jack, and to herself.
“I’m s-sorry,” she said again.
Then, incredibly, the next thing she knew she was being lifted and turned until she sat on Jack’s lap with his arms, those strong warm arms, wrapped securely around her.
Jack didn’t know what was going on. All he knew was that somehow he had hurt her, yet she was apologizing to him and now she was crying and he couldn’t stand it. “Don’t cry,” he begged as he held her on his lap. “I’m the one who’s sorry. Don’t be hurt, honey. Don’t let me hurt you. That’s the last thing on earth I’d ever want to do.”
Lisa sniffed and took a swipe at her cheeks. “You didn’t hurt me. I hurt me. And I hurt you, too, but you didn’t even know it.”
“I knew it. The minute I saw your tears. That hurts me, because I can’t stand to see you unhappy.”
A certain look in her eyes—guilt? shame?—brought a new ache to Jack. “It’s him, isn’t it? Something I did reminded you of him.”
“It’s not your fault,” she said in a rush. “I’m just not used to a man who isn’t trying to make fun of me or use me or get something from me. You don’t want anything from me. I had no right to think that of you. I know you’re not like him.”
“You’re damn right I’m not.” He cupped her damp cheek in his palm. “I’m nothing like him. If I could, I’d burn the memory of him right back out of your head. But if you think I don’t want anything from you, then you’re forgetting this.” And he kissed her. Gently at first, then deeply, passionately, as if she were a feast and he was starving.
Lisa was initially stunned, then lost. His hunger became hers. She clutched at his shoulders to bring him closer and gave herself to the kiss. To him. If their last kiss had been overwhelming, this one was…devastating.
His hands, those callused workingman’s hands, were both gentle and fierce at the same time, and they were everywhere. He stroked her back, her arms, her abdomen. When he cupped her breast, everything inside her focused there. It was the most exquisite thing she’d ever felt.
“Oh, Jack,” she breathed against his mouth.
“Tell me no.”
“I can’t,” she whispered.
He kissed her again. “Tell me to stop.” And again.
“Don’t stop.”
Her words were sweet, sweet music to his ears, but he knew he should call a halt. “I’m not what you need,” he told her.
“You’re exactly what I need.”
He looked into her eyes and knew she believed it, but he couldn’t let her. “Then I’m not what you deserve. You deserve a man who can make promises he’ll keep forever, a man who’ll love you. If I had that in me to give a woman, you would be that woman, but I don’t, Lisa. I can give you pleasure, friendship, affection, but—”
“Hush.” She placed her fingers over his lips. “We’re a good pair, then, aren’t we? You can’t love a woman, and I don’t want to love a man.”
Jack pressed his forehead against hers and held her close. It must have been a cruel twist of fate, he decided, that made her feel so right in his arms, as if she belonged there forever, as if his reason for existing was to hold her.
“Then we should stop.” He hated saying the words, but knew he had to. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her cheek, her nose, her jaw.
“I don’t want to stop. But…”
“But what?”
Lisa looked at him and swallowed hard. “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you. I’m not any good at this. And I look like a whale.”
“I told you,” Jack said, brushing his thumb over her nipple and capturing her gasp with his mouth. “I like the way you look, and you’re very good at this. Can’t you feel what you do to me?” He nudged his hips against her to show her exactly what he meant.
Lisa felt his erection press against her. She couldn’t doubt that he wanted her. And she wanted him. All she could do was hold on and hope that it would be as good between them when they made love as it was now. Because the one thing she knew was that she couldn’t pass up this chance to be with Jack. She needed his closeness, his strength, his touch. His warmth and laughter. His belief in her.
“Take me to bed, Jack.”
Her request humbled him. She had to have reservations. She’d already said she was afraid she would disappoint him. Yet once again she proved her courage by asking this of him. Maybe he should say no. Maybe he should stop this before it went any further, but he couldn’t. For himself it was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. And he would be damned if he would do anything to add to the feelings of inadequacy her ex-husband had instilled in her.
Against her lips he whispered, “It will be my—” he paused to nibble once, twice “—extreme pleasure.” Then he gave, and took, a deeper kiss, with tongues dancing and hearts pounding.
Lisa nearly wept in relief. Never had she knowingly taken such a gamble. But once again Jack proved how different he was from Roger by not making her beg, not patting her on the head and telling her she didn’t know what she wanted. Not outright laughing at her.
No, this was Jack, who took such gentle care with her and made her feel good about herself. Jack, who made her burn deep down inside in a way she never had before. Jack, who with a single kiss could melt her bones.
“Hold on to me,” he murmured.
“Yes.” For as long as I can.