“Pooh! This wintergreen stuff stinks of a hospital!” Becky wrinkled her nose and held the tin out as far away from herself as she could stretch.
“Smell or no smell, it’s eased the pain in my legs,” Bubbe told her. “Mrs Lazarus said she’d come down later on and rub some more on for me. What a godsend she was to me yesterday!” Bubbe nodded and smiled. “D’you know, Becky, she told me she’s started a little catering business up there, making hot dinners for some friends of hers and a few others. I’m sure those men will appreciate a hot meal, don’t you?”
Becky nodded. “Meg told me all about it. She goes up there to help Mrs Lazarus. Where’s Papa?”
“He’s gone to a meeting, then he said he’s going upstairs to meet Mrs Lazarus’s friends – Dov and Alex I think she said they were called. He might stop and have a bite to eat with them. They haven’t been here very long, so they may have news of our relatives in Russia. They say no news is good news,” Bubbe sighed, “but I’m not so sure about that and…”
A knock on the door stopped her mid-sentence.
“Hello! It’s only me!” Auntie Essie popped her head round the door.
“I heard you hadn’t been well, Bubbe, so I called to see how you’re keeping. Just look who I’ve got with me, Becky!”
Becky, expecting Hester, was surprised to see Dora Haffner standing by the front door, shuffling her feet. She looked uncomfortable. What’s got into Auntie Essie, bringing her here? she asked herself. She nodded at Dora, who managed a weak smile.
“Dora is Mrs Haffner’s youngest girl, Bubbe.” Auntie Essie explained. She turned to Becky. “I just happened to see her on my way here. She’s going to the market to do a few errands for her auntie, so I thought you two girls could go together. That’ll be nice for you, won’t it?”
Becky didn’t answer; she couldn’t think of anything worse.
“Here you are,” Auntie Essie rummaged in her purse, “buy a little treat for yourself and Yossie. I’ll stay with Bubbe and heat up some chicken soup I’ve brought for her.”
“I’ve got a lot of homework to finish before tomorrow,” Becky grumbled, desperate to wriggle out of her aunt’s plans. “I’ve…I’ve got a sore throat,” she added lamely.
“It won’t take long, Becky dear. You can have a hot drink and do your homework when you get back. Now go along with Dora. I’m sure you’ll enjoy having a chat.”
I certainly won’t, Becky felt like shouting. In spite of her excuses, she would be forced to listen to Dora’s chatter whether she liked it or not.
Dora wasted no time. “When your father and my mother get…” she began, as soon as they were out of the building. She stopped, then began again. “I mean to say, when you all come to live with us, Sophie says we’re going to be four in our bed. If you don’t like that then you’ll have to sleep on the floor.”
“I’ll let you know,” Becky muttered, shuddering at the thought. Deep down she couldn’t help comparing her choices! She was sure that when the time came to leave home, she’d get a comfortable bed and a warm welcome from Mrs K, Mrs Lazarus and Mirrie.
“My Auntie Zelda spoils me. I’m her favourite, y’know,” Dora prattled on. “Look what she gave me for doing a few jobs,” she boasted, taking a handful of coins out of her apron pocket. “She wants me to stay for dinner. She’s a very good cook, y’know. Much better than my mother, but don’t tell her I said so,” she giggled. “Auntie Zelda used to cook for us when my father died. She doesn’t so much now, only on special occasions.”
“Special occasions?” Becky repeated, suddenly becoming very interested.
“Well y’know, if we’ve got important guests on Shabbos. She cooked for us once when Mama invited Abe Klein and this horrible man for dinner. It was a while back now, but I’ll never forget that when he said grace after the meal he made it last for over half an hour!”
Becky could feel her heart racing with excitement. “And… and…when we came to dinner?” she asked, forcing herself to make her voice sound casual. “Was that a special occasion?”
“Course it was,” Dora grinned. “Mama’s always very busy in the shop these days, so she asked Auntie Zelda to make the cholent for her. She wanted to show off a bit, y’know. Well, there’s no harm in that, is there?” she asked. She stopped suddenly and put her hand over mouth. “Oh me and my big mouth!” she gasped. “I forgot, I’m not supposed to say anything about that. You won’t tell, will you Becky?” she pleaded.
Becky didn’t answer. Dora’s news came like a flash of lightning. It’s true, it’s true, she felt like shouting it out. Mrs Haffner didn’t make that cholent! Dora had let the cat out of the bag, and she would never know how grateful Becky was. She had to tell Papa before it was too late. This news just had to make him change his mind.
“I…I’ve got to go home,” Becky stammered.
Dora looked surprised. “I thought you were going to buy something for your brother?”
“I’ll give him the money instead. He can buy his own treat. I’ve really got to get home, I’ve got a headache.”
“You won’t tell anyone what I said, will you?” Dora asked again.
What can I say? She asked herself. She didn’t like telling lies, even though she’d been guilty of it recently. She had to find a good way round it.
“Don’t worry about it. D’you know what my mother used to say?”
Dora shook her head.
“It’s water under the bridge, now.”
“What d’you mean?”
“It’s best forgotten.”
Bubbe stirred two teaspoonsful of honey into a cup of hot water.
“Here, Becky, sip this slowly, it’ll soothe your sore throat.”
“Thanks,” Becky croaked. “Where’s everyone?”
“Yossie’s downstairs playing. Auntie Essie’s gone home, she changed my bandages before she went.”
“Didn’t Mrs Lazarus come?” Becky asked.
“No, she didn’t. Perhaps she was too busy and forgot.”
“That’s not like her. Anyway, I’ve got to go upstairs to tell Mirrie something, so I’ll find out. Is Papa still upstairs?”
“No, he came back a while ago and then went off again to ask Moishe if he would help him make some stools for Mrs Lazarus. Her little business is growing, she needs more seating for her customers. Don’t stay chattering too long, Becky dear. You look a bit flushed. I’ll make you another honey drink when you get back.”
Becky’s head throbbed and her legs felt strangely heavy as she dragged her feet slowly up the stairs. She couldn’t wait to tell Mirrie the news, she would be as excited as Becky was. The gossips in the public baths had been right all along about Mrs H. Dora had admitted that her mother was a bad cook; would Papa really change his mind about getting married when Becky told him? She knocked and waited, then knocked again. The next door neighbour opened her door and looked out.
“It’s no use banging on the door, there’s no one there!”
Becky frowned. “Perhaps they’ve gone to the market. I must have missed them.”
The woman shook her head. “No, they didn’t have time to go to the market, they were too busy. As soon as they’d cleared up, they packed their bags and left!”
Flat 74 Rothschild Buildings,
Brick Lane,
Whitechapel,
London.
Sunday 20th December 1908
Dear Mama,
I haven’t written to you for weeks and weeks because I’ve been very ill with diphtheria. I don’t remember much about it, except shivering one minute, sweating the next and crying with the pain in my head and my sore throat. I must have had a very high fever ‘cos a bed was made for me on the living room floor near the fire as it was too cold in the bedroom. Yossie told me that Papa was so worried about me he sent for Doctor Simons, who arrived in his pony and trap! Now that’s a piece of gossip which must have spread like a forest fire! The doctor charged two shillings and sixpence – that’s half a week’s rent! Papa must have borrowed the money to pay him. I think it included the cost of the medicine. It had such a horrible taste, I wouldn’t have paid a penny for it!
Yossie had to stay at Auntie Essie’s because diphtheria’s catching. He was so good. He came every day, opened the front door a tiny bit and called out any news for me. He told me that on the day I got sick, Mrs Lazarus and Mirrie had rushed off to Liverpool for Mrs K’s brother’s funeral. When they got back, Mrs Lazarus and Auntie Essie took it in turns to nurse me. Mrs K brought food for Bubbe and at lunch time Papa popped in to see me and then went upstairs to eat with the young men. I missed Mirrie and Meg. I couldn’t stop crying when they weren’t allowed to come near me.
I look absolutely awful. I’m as thin as a poker and I’ve got blue shadows under my eyes. My face is the colour of putty and my hair is, well just ugh! I’ve missed a lot of school but I’ll catch up, don’t worry.
Now – for the Secrets Of My Heart. I think my being so ill stopped Papa from making any more wedding plans. It can’t be long now because Yossie told me he’s been to see the rabbi again. I still haven’t been able to tell Papa about Mrs H and the cholent because I got sick the day Dora told me.
Very Special Secrets Of My Heart! Mrs Lazarus has been like a second mother to me. I wish she was and I wish I’d introduced her to Papa before Abe Klein changed our lives. It’s too late now.
All my love, God bless.
Yours faithfully,
Rebecca Feldman.
