Raven was at Nia’s house, helping Ms. Tina prepare flyers and compose emails. Ms. Tina was drafting a character reference for Ms. Twizz’s son, Ryan, regarding getting his prison sentence reduced.
Nia’s dad passed away when she was younger. Raven wasn’t sure exactly what happened because Nia didn’t talk about it, but Raven overheard Blair whispering to Khalil that he passed away in a car accident when a teen driver hit him. Blair said this was part of the reason Ms. Tina became an attorney.
Ms. Twizz picked at her fingers while she waited. Ms. Tina walked in with a tray of hot tea for Ms. Twizz and sweet tea for Nia and Raven. She remained quiet. Not knowing what to expect, Ms. Twizz brought her crate of files, paperwork, and scraps of receipts.
“Let’s start here.” Ms. Tina got comfortable on the loveseat. “Tell me about Ryan. What do you think is important for others to know about him? What may be helpful for the judge to know? Anything that makes his case unique?” Ms. Tina sat her recorder on the table, and she grabbed a notebook and pen.
Ms. Twizz sighed, and her shoulders tightened up. She looked around the room and began. “Well, I had him and his brothers young. I didn’t know what I was doing. They daddy came to me, and he said he wanted me, and I was with him now. My self-esteem was so low that I thought I liked him too. I thought that’s all it took. They chose you. I had so many things happen to me I didn’t choose. So, I thought this was how it went—someone chose you, and you belonged to them now. When things happen to girls at young ages, it changes their outlook on men. You expect less because they only want certain things from you anyway, so why not just give it to them upfront?” Ms. Twizz dabbed at her eyes. “I’ve always tried to be a good mom, but I didn’t learn how. . . Now Ryan, Ryan, is my youngest. His dad lives in Atlanta, and he’s only met him a few times. Ryan’s daddy was a drug dealer, and Ryan was a drug dealer. What else is there to say about that? I guess it ran in the family. If my son’s skin was a bit lighter, this really would be a different story. But because he’s a Black man living in America—he’s a criminal, a threat. He got what came to him, they say. No-no, that’s not my child. My child likes to cook, and he likes to read. Did you know he can draw? Probably better than some of them folk at your Mama’s place,” she pointed to Raven. “I have his son, Ryan Jr. RJ lives with me. I want to give big Ryan a chance to be the father he never had. You know, we have to change things for the younger generation,” Ms. Twizz leaned into Ms. Tina and whispered. “. . . it’s all about them now.”
Raven and Nia squeezed each other’s hands on the couch with anticipation as they listened to Ms. Twizz talk. Raven could picture Ms. Twizz’s accounts in her head. In some ways, they reminded her of Nana’s story. They were Black women who made decisions when they were younger that affected their families for generations. Raven heard the worry and nervousness in Ms. Twizz’s voice and wondered if Nana felt the same way.
“We all just want to make the people that come after us better humans. And that seems to be the hardest thing to do…” Her words trailed off. “I can’t believe some of the stories big Ryan tells me. Situations I completely forgot about, or I thought the kids didn’t notice. They saw, and they noticed. But Ryan and I keep talking anyway, and we keep forging on, and we keep fixin’ our relationship. The only thing that’s going to help is talking and dealing with it. So that’s what we do.”
“If Ryan and I can do all that, then I know he’ll come around. I feel it. Ryan ain’t no bad guy. He ain’t no worse than some of these other busters walking around here on the streets now, but he was young — and he deserves a second chance just like all of them other young White boys around the country. They get their second chances when they be raping them little White girls. They get told ‘it’s okay, we don’t want to ruin your future—we’ll work with you.’ But you want to ruin my baby’s future? No-no. I’m not making no excuses for him. He did his crime. I am saying give my baby a second chance. Don’t demonize him for my choices as a parent.”
Ms. Tina, Raven, and Nia waited. Ms. Tina turned off the recorder and let Ms. Twizz talk.
“Did I ever tell ya’ll I used to bake cakes? Big, beautiful cakes. Cupcakes, baby shower cakes, wedding cakes, birthday cakes, just-because-you-got-you-a-sweet-tooth cake. I made them all.” Her smile was bright. “Everyone in town used to come for some of Ms. Twizz’s cakes; they were that good. You know the supermarket Piggly Wiggly? They even came to me one time about selling some of my cakes in the supermarket. That was a good day.”
Her eyes were far away.
“But I was too busy chasing behind Ryan’s daddy. I didn’t take myself or my craft seriously. I listened to what they daddy told me and did what he asked me to do. I couldn’t even make myself happy, let alone anyone else,” she cackled. “He didn’t ask me anything when he went and fooled around. He spent all the money and left us to figure out what to do when the lights were off. And the one thing I could do to support my family on my own without him was those cakes. See—at the time, I didn’t realize it, but I could've been a Black woman doing it ya’ll!” Ms. Twizz slapped her knee with bright eyes. “I was so busy chasing behind him, I didn’t recognize my own power—but he did. He didn’t nurture it, he didn’t honor it, or push me to be the best I could be for our family. And he was what stopped me from signing a contract with Piggly Wiggly for my cakes. Because he didn’t think it was a good idea. I regret that to this day.”
“When y’all find something, and y’all’s is great at it—stick with it. Don’t let anyone tell you can’t do something, especially no man. Make sure you love you enough to follow your own dreams.”
Raven felt heat all over her body, Ms. Twizz’s words tingled in her stomach, and she felt it down to her toes. Raven looked over at Nia, and she was breathing deep, holding on to Ms. Twizz’s words just like she was.
“And let me tell y’all’s something else. Fix your families. I spent too many years away from all my boys, angry at myself for things I did.” Ms. Twizz turned to Raven and looked her square in her eyes. “Raven, you need to be a big cousin to that boy. You hear me? You can do better than that. I’ve noticed you with him. Don’t be acting like he’s working on your nerves.”
“He doesn’t.” Raven grabbed a tissue.
“And Nia, you let your Mama date now, you hear me, girl? She needs some lovin’ too.” Ms. Twizz added. Nia and her mom locked eyes. Nia hadn’t told Raven that her mom was dating. “Now is that everything? Did you get it all?” Ms. Twizz glanced at her watch. “I have to go pick up RJ from his mama house.”
They all were dabbing their eyes.
“Yes, I got everything I needed a while ago, Ms. Twizz. I think this is enough to request another hearing. I’ll get this typed and have our request submitted to the prosecutor soon. I’ll keep you posted.” Ms. Tina said.
Raven felt lighter. She couldn’t describe it, but Ms. Twizz’s words felt like a call to action.
Ms. Twizz rose from her seat and pulled Ms. Tina into a bear hug. She held her for a long time as Ms. Tina crumbled in her arms and sobbed.
“No matter what happens, thank you girl. Thank you,” Ms. Twizz held Ms. Tina.