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Chapter 24

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On the evening of his parents’ anniversary party, Robert positioned himself to stand guard near the doorway to the hotel’s ballroom. Becca had refused to respond to any of the letters he had delivered. He wasn’t brave enough to show up at her home. He needed to speak with her, though he didn’t know what he was going to say. He knew that she couldn’t avoid coming tonight, her parents wouldn’t allow it, so this was going to be his only chance. 

“Waiting for someone, son?” his father said, stepping out of the shadows to join him in the corner where he stood. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

Sean pulled out a cigar and ran it under his nose to get a deep breath of it. This was a habit his wife detested, so he could only do it when not in her presence. 

“The O’Hares dropped by the house this afternoon,” said Sean, rolling the cigar between his fingers, “Seems they are excited about tonight and wanted to know if they could make an announcement at the party.” 

“Announcement?” 

“Their daughter, Becca, has recently become engaged to another young man.” 

Robert almost choked, and his father had to pound him on the back to get air back in his lungs. 

“Engaged?” Robert sputtered. 

“Yes. Stephen Connolly asked for her a few days ago. Her parents are happy with the match.”

“She accepted?” 

“Why wouldn’t she? He’s a very successful young man and has been a friend to her since before Brandon left.” 

Robert took a deep breath. “Does she love him?” 

His father gave him a hard pat on the shoulder. “Who know? A woman can have so many reasons for agreeing to marry a man. They seldom tell the public what it is.” 

It was a good match. Even Robert could see that. Stephen was a good and honorable man. That didn’t make the bitter taste in his mouth any better. 

“I think I’m going to go find a drink,” he told his father, who tightened his grip on Robert’s shoulder. 

“I can see that this news has upset you. Clearly you never got past your feelings for her while you were away.” Sean leaned in closer. “I wouldn’t let you humiliate her back then and I won’t let you do it tonight. She is going to announce her engagement, and I expect you to do nothing to stop it.” 

Last time, Robert had been a drunken young man who could do nothing to fight his father on the issue. They both knew that was no longer true. Sean was a powerful man, but Robert had returned stronger than before and could easily hold his own against his father. He only hoped it wouldn’t come to that. 

“You shouldn’t have stopped me back then and you shouldn’t be stopping me now.”

“Why? Are you going to claim to love her? If you loved her, then you would want her to be happy. You would want what is best for her. You are only thinking of yourself and, son, that isn’t love.” 

Robert barked laughter. 

“You are one to talk. Didn’t you drag my mother away from her family and across the ocean to pursue your own dreams?” 

“I was offering her a better life, one that she loves.”

“Perhaps I can offer Becca a better life too. I can certainly do better than my brother did.” 

Anger flashed in his father’s eyes, and Robert flinched. 

“Your brother was a good man and he would have done right by her if he had lived. You have no right to speak ill of him now that he’s gone.” 

Robert felt a tinge of guilt. “I’m not saying he wasn’t a good man. I’m just saying that I could have loved her more than he did.” 

“Are you so certain? If you had stayed in New York, you wouldn’t be the man you are today. Are you so certain that man would be good enough for her?” 

Robert couldn’t say that, but he could say something else. “I’m good enough for her now. I’m better than Stephen.” 

Sean looked as though he wanted to argue with his youngest son but an exhausted sigh passed his lips. 

“Son, what she deserves is to choose her own future. She should have had that a long time ago.” 

Sean released him and Robert couldn’t believe it. 

“You aren’t going to drag me out of here? Force me to leave to the city again?” 

“No. A man can learn from the past. You aren’t the only one capable of change.” His father took the cigar and placed it between his lips but not lighting it. “I won’t force you to leave the party, but if you do anything to ruin the night for Becca, I will make sure you are forced out of the city.”

“I own the hotel.” 

“It doesn’t matter. I know people who can make sure you are on your way back out West.” 

Robert didn’t need to ask for details, he knew the people his father was talking about. Sean knew men on the Metropolitan Police department, the city mayor and even the biggest men in the underworld. If he wanted to force Robert out, he could. 

“Just don’t do anything to ruin her night, son.” 

Having completed his task of issuing a warning, Sean took his unlit cigar and tucked it back into his inside jacket pocket. He kept it hidden from his wife until he was ready to smoke it. Robert watched his father melt back into the crowd, feeling both a sense of relief and distress. He needed to speak to Becca as soon as possible. He decided to wait for her in the lobby instead and when she arrived, he watched her mother escort her into one of the retiring rooms he had prepared. Just as he had the night of her first engagement, he waited for her mother to leave and give him the chance to speak to her alone. Only this time, he was successful. 

“I’m getting ready as quickly as I can.” 

Becca was sitting in front of the vanity, giving him a good view of her from the side. She wore a soft dove gray gown that dipped down in the front to reveal her creamy-skinned bosom. The lace sleeves fell loosely along the top of her arms as she worked to fix her elegant hair design that had come undone. Her mother must have gone to get her more pins, since she was actively holding the dark curls in place. 

“Did you find...” Her voice trailed off as he looked up to find him standing there. 

“I’m afraid I have nothing to offer to help you with that, but I think you still look beautiful.” 

The hair slipped out of her fingers and one large, silky curl fell along her neck. 

“What are you doing in here?” she said, her eyes wide as she turned her body around to stare at him. 

“I had to talk to you.”

“We have nothing to discuss.”

“Oh, we have so many things to say to each other.” 

She turned around again, turning her face away as well. “I don’t want to speak to you. Please leave.”

“I won’t.” Robert had too much he needed to explain to her. “One of the great things about owning the hotel is that I can go into any room I please.”

“You sound as though you are going mad with power.”

“I’m going mad because I’m in love.”

He heard her gap, faintly, from across the room. 

“Becca, I know I have acted terribly these past few weeks. I have lied to you and kept secrets from you.” Robert didn’t realize how hard this was going to be and was beginning to feel his throat get dry. “I did come back to New York with plans for revenge. I thought I could make you fall in love with me and then break your heart, the way you broke mine.” 

He saw her turn, so that he was able to see her reflection in the mirror as she watched him give his confession. 

“I wanted you to see me as the successful man I have become. To want me in a way you never wanted my brother. It was ridiculous and I know it.” 

He slowly starting taking steps toward her, watching for her to show him she wanted him to stop. She just sat there, watching him in silence with shallow breaths. 

“What I didn’t realize was that I was still in love with you. That I would want to protect you more than I would want my revenge. That if I managed to win your heart, I wouldn’t want to break it.”

“You don’t?” Those words came from her lips softly. 

“No, I don’t.” 

He was only a few inches from her, watching her in the mirror. He could reach out and place his hand on her bare shoulders if he wanted to. Something in her eyes told him she wasn’t going to welcome that.

“Are you here, telling me this because you know that Stephan proposed?” She pinched her mouth together for a moment before speaking again. “Are you just hoping to ruin my engagement, like you wanted to do with Brandon? Is that your new idea for revenge?”

“Becca, I don’t want to ruin your engagement....”

“Are you going to wish me well, then?”

“I don’t want you to make a mistake and marry the wrong the man.”

“How do you know you who would be right for me? What makes you the expert in my future?”

Robert knew she might be upset, but he wasn’t expecting this kind of hostility from her. 

“I love you. I’m the right man.”

“Love isn’t enough. Brandon loved me, but he still left. Now you say that you love me, but you lied to me the entire time you were courting me.” 

When she put it in those terms, it sounded worse that he thought. 

“I can make you happy.”

“Why doesn’t anyone think I can be happy on my own terms? Make my own decisions?” She sounded exhausted. “My parents tell me what I should do. Your family tells me what they think I should do. The only person who doesn’t get to say anything is me.” 

Robert felt his chest tighten. “What is it that you want?” 

He was afraid to ask because he wasn’t certain he would like the answer. If she said that she wanted to be with Stephen... he didn’t know if he could walk away. 

“I have to finish getting ready,” she told him reaching back up to start fixing her hair. “You had better leave before my mother returns. If she catches you here, she will be more frightening than your father is.”

Robert didn’t want to leave the room until she told him what he wanted to hear, but he could tell by her expression that wasn’t going to happen. Frustrated, Robert left the room. It was just in time, because he passed Mrs. O’Hare in the hallway. 

He went directly to the bar and got himself a whiskey for each hand. If he was going to listen to her getting engaged to another man again, he was going to need a little liquid assistance. He found Quincy was also indulging in the same thing. 

“You look as bad as I was expecting,” said the old cowboy. 

“You were expecting me to be in shambles?” 

“I ran into Mr. Connally in the lobby earlier. He was so excited he told me about tonight’s announcement.”

The entire city would know by morning. “I’m happy for her.”

“Where did your poker face go? That was clearly a lie.” 

“Sorry.” Robert wasn’t feeling like himself anymore. “I think I might have become the old me from spending too much time in this city.” 

“Are you sure that it isn’t the real you? Perhaps you have been pretending since going to Kansas.”

“How do I know which one is the real me?”

Quincy shrugged. “Perhaps it is neither. You might find you are actually a man in between the two.” 

Robert took a sip from one of the drinks in his hand. Then he reconsidered and tossed back the entire contents of it. Sitting it down on the bar, he wondered if he needed a third. 

“If you have to be carried out tonight, you will regret it in the morning,” said Quincy. 

Robert already knew he was going to have regrets. He wouldn’t mind adding to the lift is it helped him get through the evening.

“I know how to hold my whiskey.”

“Like you did that time Big Sally beat you at the tables and wagered you into her bed?” 

That was a memory Robert was glad he didn’t recall clearly. He only knew that when he woke up, he was naked on top of the saloon bar, with a table cloth tossed over him and his boots were missing for good. 

“I’m lucky they let me back into the place after that.” 

“Sally was the one who was really in charge, regardless of what the owner wanted people to believe.” 

Robert could believe that. “She was one of my first friends in Kansas City.”

“She saw something in you. Sometimes it takes a different perspective to show us who we really are.” 

Robert thought about Becca. “I never would have become the man I am today if not for a woman.” 

“Yet, you were willing to hurt her. Strange way to show thanks.”

“I tried...” He tossed back his second drink and lined the glasses up together on the bar. “It doesn’t matter. Once again, she is choosing a man that isn’t me.” 

“Why does it always have to be about you? Why can’t you just want her to be happy, with the choice she makes?” 

Robert knew the man was right. If Brandon hadn’t decided to sail away, perhaps he could have made Becca happy. Perhaps Stephan could do that now. All these years, Robert had been so focused on the fact that she hadn’t chosen him, that he never thought about why she should choose him. He could have shown her why, but instead he just went after his own need for revenge. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Now that was the truth.” Quincy gave him a pat on the back. “Perhaps there is nothing you can do. You just have to take things as they come.” 

“You mean let her go?” 

Quincy shrugged. 

“I’m not sure how to do that.” 

Quincy looked like he was about to give him some kind of wisdom, but a commotion from the ballroom caught both their attention. As they made their way into the room, which was quickly filling with people, he saw his parents standing on the stage with the O’Hares. It must be time for the announcement. He thought he would be able to get through it, but at the moment his stomach convinced him otherwise. Without saying a goodbye to anyone, Robert ran away from his own hotel.