You already know that good clothes really do open all doors. That’s not to say that your clothes need to be fancy, expensive, or even any particular style. But they are the first thing people judge you on, and your clothes say a lot about you before you even open your mouth. So it’s important to be the boss lady in charge of what your style is saying about you behind your back. This means you should spend at least a little time acting as your own costume designer, figuring out your “signature style.” I know a handful of people who have their signature styles down cold—I could take one glance at one of them from the back on a crowded street and instantly know, “Oh yeah, that’s her.” But how did they get their styles? The answer is that they most likely gave it to themselves. Taking the time to figure out your own signature style is something most people have never considered doing, but it’s a great tool to have at your disposal if you often find yourself in a dressing room, uncertain if something works for you, reduced to texting photos of a dress to all your pals with the question: “Should I buy this? Yes or no?” Because that’s all style really is—a tool. When used wisely, it removes doubt from getting dressed and can make you feel cooler, smarter, sexier, and stronger. Who doesn’t want that?
Finding your signature style only sounds like something that takes a lifetime to accomplish. It’s actually pretty easy and lots of fun! The end goal is to come up with a few words or a clever, visual phrase that really sums up who you are as a person. You can then lean on that phrase while shopping or getting dressed each morning. It becomes a lens to filter how the world views you—and more importantly, how you view yourself. But why do you need to bother finding your signature style, anyway? It’s obviously not vital to our continued survival, but there is inherent value and power in knowing what you are projecting to the world every time you get dressed. That’s the main reason I have a job dressing people who are in the public eye—clothes are instant visual cues to who a person is, where they came from, and where they may be going.
To get started, make a list of all the things you like. This list can include absolutely anything that moves you, because there’s way more to having a signature style than just the clothes you wear. I believe it’s actually a combination of the history, art, music, food, hobbies, and culture that speak to you. In the beginning stages of sleuthing out what your signature style really is, write down everything you can think of that interests you as a jumping off point to delve into what your core style may be. This is my exact process to figure out a character’s look on a show, by the way—I break out an old-fashioned yellow legal pad and force myself to think like the character. What books does she like? What things does she hold sacred? What’s her favorite color? What types of art does she gravitate toward? I write it all down, and a clear picture of the character starts to appear, slowly but surely. When you apply this process to yourself, you’re actually acting as your own costume designer! And you might be surprised where your character’s style exploration leads you.
Here’s my personal style study as an example: I am a proud Texan. (There is no other kind of Texan, actually!) There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss and think fondly of my home state. So cowboy boots and country-girl style are always going to work their way into my look. But I’m also a die-hard new-waver—the very first concert I ever saw was Depeche Mode. My entire high school career was spent wearing black knee-high socks, black suspenders, and my grandfather’s old black trousers that I chopped at the knee to show off my socks. I also sported a pretty sweet bi-level, asymmetrical “wedge” haircut in a town where cheerleaders with ribbons in their ponytails were the ideal of beauty. As a result, black and edgy pieces will always find their way into my closet, no matter what I try to do. It’s practically genetic at this point. But my love for country-tinged looks is never-ending as well, so I call my current style “Backwoods Nouveau.” It means that my go- to slouching around town look is usually a pair of leather-trimmed jeans, a snap-front western inspired shirt, and brightly colored ankle boots with simple, poppy details. Sometimes I swap in cowboy boots and an old T-shirt—making sure to pile on some colorful, geometric plastic jewelry to give the cowboy boots that missing new-wave edge.
Whatever your signature style, it can definitely change and grow—you can even have two at once! Whenever I’m feeling the need to “grow up” my professional look a bit, I find myself inexplicably drawn to very classic, heavily tailored pieces. I’ve also started properly reading the books I only skimmed in high school—Anna Karenina, Jane Eyre, and Madame Bovary. I’ve even found myself suddenly wanting to listen to classical music in my office while I work! Which is all terrifying, as I’ve always prided myself on being edgy and against the grain. But I’ve decided to give in to my ladylike-loving side a bit—just being sure to always temper it with something slightly bizarre. As a result, I’m calling my secondary signature style “Genteel Bizarro.” (I got that from consulting my trusty thesaurus for synonyms for both “ladylike” and “weird.”)
What does it mean style-wise? It means that I’ve started buying simple sheath dresses and tempering their classic, conservative edge with downright creepy jewelry like gold eyeball earrings and knife rings. The resulting mash up is a look that doesn’t hit you over the head at first glance, but reveals itself over the course of a conversation. It’s great to go to a business meeting and watch people notice the subtle yet slightly gory details of my otherwise perfect ladylike outfits.
Figuring out your own signature style isn’t as hard as it may seem. Practically any keywords that you identify with can be melded into a signature style—because there’s actually way more to having a signature style than just the clothes you wear. You can use almost anything that interests you as a jumping off point to delve into what your core style may be. This exercise is an excellent way to get your wheels turning as to what really floats your style boat. Get a pen, paper, and your thesaurus (I swear, it helps!) and spend some time laser-focusing your current or aspirational signature style down to just two or three words. You want to get to the heart of who you are, what interests you, and what you really want to present to the world before you allow yourself to go forth and shop. Your signature style can be as simple or fantastical as you want it to be.
Here are some real-life examples from some of my online readers who took on this challenge:
LIBRARIAN NOIR, EMILY, TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD: “I run the library at my local university, so proper bookish styles have always been the cornerstone of my personal style. But the older I get, the more I find myself wanting to break out of the classic ‘librarian’ mold. I still need to look professional—I’m just looking to add a bit of zip to my existing work clothes. After writing down all the books and films I love, I realized that what I really wanted was to add a little classic Hollywood sex appeal to my wardrobe. That’s how I ended up with ‘Librarian Noir.’ I’ve plugged a few fluffy angora sweaters and seamed stockings into my existing closet of pencil skirts and ballet flats. The result is a look that signals to the world that I’m a very proper lady—with a few secrets hidden just beneath the surface, should one want to scratch.”
CLASSIC POP, SHARON, THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD: “I’ve read thousands of words on why every woman should own a little black dress, the perfect white shirt, or a classic trench coat to always be well dressed. The older I get, the more I want to be taken ‘seriously,’ but those classics always seem too boring and staid—so not ‘me.’ I am drawn toward garments with clean, unfussy lines but love colors that pop above all else. After writing down all the disparate things I like, I realized that what I should be shopping for are classic garments in those crazy, poppy colors that I naturally gravitate toward—like a hot pink trench coat or a cashmere sweater in bright chartreuse green. These colorful, simple basics satisfy my need for color and provide a backdrop for the other parts of my outfit to really sing.”
FAUX BESPOKE, DAISY, TWENTY-NINE YEARS OLD: “I used an online thesaurus (it totally helps!) to find synonyms for ‘custom-made’ and ended up with ‘bespoke.’ I like my stuff to look like it has been made just for me—even though I can’t afford one-of-a-kind things, hence the ‘faux!’ I’ve started collecting photos of high-end, custom-made pieces and studying their fabrication. As a result, I can now immediately eagle-eye a garment with unique, unusual details in a sea of look-alike pieces. The things I’ve bought since defining my style have all been under $35, but my coworkers have started asking me if I’ve learned to sew due to my new, “unique” wardrobe. I don’t have the heart to tell them the truth!”
AUSTERE GLAM, JACKIE, FIFTY YEARS OLD: “Growing up in Sweden, I was exposed to lots of sleek, sharp, severe clothing design. It’s what I’ve always worn, and it matches my no-nonsense personality perfectly. But upon moving to the States, I developed a serious obsession with 1970s glitter rock and all the glam it entails. I never seriously thought about the fact that I could express this in my personal style until I wrote it down on my list of things I love—and as a result, I’ve started working some luxe, metallic accessories into my everyday look. In the middle of a stressful day, those bright and shiny pieces remind me of who I am—and that there’s more to life than whatever troubles I’m dealing with at the moment.”
Now that you have an idea of how some readers have defined, refined, and named their signature styles, you can get down to the business of figuring out your own. Once you’ve got yours, start using it as a filter to determine if the item you are looking to purchase really suits you or not. It may seem slightly ridiculous, but putting together a journal or collage of images that illustrate the idea of your new signature style phrase will also help your brain wrap itself around what to keep your eyes peeled for when you are out shopping. Collecting images may also lead you to consider styles you wouldn’t previously have thought of, which is what usually happens to me. I tear pages out of magazines, bookmark things I could never afford on fancy retail websites, and snap photos of stuff in stores while I am out shopping for work. When I glance at this catalog of images, a pattern usually starts to emerge, and I can see more clearly what styles I am really drawn to. It’s a way of editing down what you like and what works for you before you make the commitment to buy something—much like researching the pros and cons of a new car purchase in advance of actually bringing it home. Approaching your wardrobe like the investment it is can help cut down on the number of unworn, unloved items hanging in your closet.
Keeping an eye on high-end styles and looks from places that aren’t in your budget may sound like torture—but it’s actually an excellent way to know what to keep looking for when shopping elsewhere. Copycat fashion stores are here to stay, and being able to spot wallet-friendly pieces that are inspired by more expensive versions is one of the main secrets to being superstylish on a shoestring budget. When you keep track of what the big designers are doing, it becomes easy to snap up things that are in your style wheelhouse wherever you find them—at a thrift store, a clearance rack at the mall, or your local dollar store. (Don’t laugh—I do indeed have pieces in my closet that I snagged for a buck while looking for deals on household goods.) That’s the ultimate secret to having good personal style: Once you’ve established what you are looking for, be on the lookout for it everywhere, even in the most unlikely places (including the grocery store, your friends’ closets, or on your coworkers’ backs!). Recognizing good design wherever you happen to spot it is definitely a skill that can be learned—you just have to be willing to do the legwork.
Also, don’t be afraid to ask women on the street whose style you admire where they got something. Everyone likes to be complimented, and I find that a casual, “You look so great in what you’re wearing!” followed by, “Would you be so kind as to tell me where you got it?” almost always results in them giving up the goods. Just be sure to have a stock response ready for the fancy babes who answer, “At Barney’s,” or “Oh, on vacation in Paris,” so as not to feel like an instant hick. I always reply with a simple, “Nicely done!” (And then tuck the image of whatever they are wearing away in my mental file in case I see a great knockoff of it elsewhere at a price I can afford.) Having a signature style means that you are constantly on the lookout for what’s new, fresh, and cool that actually suits you—so you can work it into your closet and not feel like you’re trying on a personality. When you are your own costume designer, you’ll find you are suddenly the very best version of yourself you’ve ever been. Because real style is all about enhancing who you already are—not attempting to change yourself into someone else.