The thing that allows me to do my job better than anyone else on earth is my massive tool kit. I’m practically a carpenter of clothing, with gadgets and tricks for any wardrobe malfunction you could imagine. Actors don’t just magically look good in their clothes without a lot of help—and producers don’t want to hear my excuses when an actor realizes something is wrong with an outfit right before we are about to shoot. I’ve got to be able to fix any clothing-related disaster that could ever arise on the double—or risk being fired. You obviously don’t need to own every single tool I use on set, but there are more than a few of them that you should consider keeping on hand to cut your own personal wardrobe malfunctions off at the pass.

Looking and feeling good in what you wear is all about putting in a little extra effort—and being adequately prepared will keep you and your clothes many steps ahead of everyone else. You could really boil the entirety of this book down to just that one central theme: Always. Be. Prepared. The time to solve a fashion disaster is before it happens, and that means having the tools you need already up your sleeve and ready to go. Everything I refer to in this chapter is available at my very favorite store on earth, Manhattan Wardrobe Supply (wardrobesupplies.com).

THE HOLY TRINITY: SAFETY PINS, TOPSTICK, AND MOLESKIN

I have no choice but to lug an entire storage unit of stuff with me from show to show. But if I had to narrow it down to just three items, I know instantly what they would be—the holy trinity of wardrobe hacks: safety pins, Topstick toupee tape, and moleskin. With just these three items, you can fix almost any wardrobe tragedy right when it happens.

AND GOD CREATED SAFETY PINS

The humble safety pin is the hero of every story—because the number of wardrobe malfunctions you can solve with one is endless. The modern safety pin is really just a piece of wire with a coil in the center that allows it to open up when released. It was patented in 1849 by a man named Walter Hunt, who then sold the patent for a measly four hundred bucks. Little did he know that its practicality would go on to make the new patent holder millions. At almost every fancy party I’ve ever been to, someone’s dress strap has broken—necessitating a safety pin to fix it. (I once even repaired a hysterical bride’s broken zipper with a fistful of safety pins I had stashed in my clutch moments before she walked down the aisle.) If you took the time to dump a handful of safety pins into the bottom of every purse you own right now, you’d pretty much be saving your own life. But a broken dress strap is only the beginning of its brilliant uses. Just by keeping a few different sizes of safety pins on hand, a girl really can rule the world.

The Strapless Dilemma

Strapless dresses are my biggest nightmare—halfway through wearing one, it always starts to slide down, leaving my strapless bra hanging out. To avoid this phenomenon, I make sure to pin my bra to my dress, taking care to only grab the thinnest, innermost layer of the dress fabric so that the pin isn’t visible from the outside of the garment.

The Emergency Zipper Pull

I own multiple jackets and sweatshirts that have been sporting a safety pin replacement zipper pull for years. It’s simple, it works, and you can add a random charm to it for extra cuteness.

The Broken Shoe Strap

It’s insane how even the most expensive pair of shoes can randomly snap a strap and leave you hobbling on the sidewalk. Keep a two-inch safety pin in your bag so you can hook it through the busted buckle and then stab it through the strap to get yourself back on the road.

Flip-Flop Blowouts

The classic flip-flop mechanism is a “T” style peg that pops into the hole in the sole and holds itself there. When you get a blowout and the peg will no longer stay in the hole, just guide the peg back into the hole and ram a safety pin through the bottom of it to mimic the “T.” I speak from personal experience: this lazy fix will last you at least six months of heavy walking.

Keep Those Buttons Closed

You are probably all too familiar with being in the middle of talking to someone and suddenly realizing that half of your shirt buttons have popped open. For an easy fix, pin the space between each button closed with a miniature safety pin. With a little practice, you can master the art of grabbing only the tiniest bit or inside layer of the shirt fabric, rendering the safety pin unseen from the outside of the garment.

Master the “Instant Alteration”

It’s amazing how many ill-fitting garments you can transform with a well-placed safety pin. My favorite trick is to gather a hunk of fabric at the back of the neck, fold it in a sort of “accordion pleat,” and pin from the inside. Just like that, a top that was too big at the bust or under the arms is hiked up a few inches. Cover the pin with your hair and move on with your life.

Repair Jewelry on the Go

This is where it pays to have a few sizes of safety pins on hand in both gold and silver tones. If you have the right size pin, you can usually run it through the links of a broken chain to repair it and play it off as a style detail.

Restring a Hoodie

You can easily put a string back into a hoodie or pair of lounge pants using a simple safety pin. Just pin it through one end of the string and use the pin as a guide to work it back through the hole. I taught this trick to an actor who exclusively wore hoodies on a show, and he liked to give me heart palpitations by pulling the string out between takes and seeing how fast he could thread it back in before the director called “Action!”

Stop Static Cling

Simple safety pin science is the secret to keeping your tights from sticking to your skirt. Pinning a safety pin to the inside lining at the hem of your slip or skirt will conduct a small amount of static electricity and therefore help stop clinging. (A safety pin or two at a skirt’s hem will also help weight down a hem that loves to flip up endlessly!) For more tips on how to fight static cling, flip to the Static Guard section on this page.

Did you know that safety pins come in all sizes and colors? There are even solid black safety pins, which are way easier to hide in your clothes than the classic shiny silver ones. If you can’t find them at your local sewing store (or are just feeling crafty), simply color the safety pins you already own black with a permanent marker. But a word of warning—color them before you use them on clothing—not once they are already in place.

BETTER LIVING THROUGH DOUBLE STICK TAPE

Did you ever wonder what held Jennifer Lopez’s iconic jungle-green Versace dress in place at the Grammy awards way back in the year 2000? Viewers and fashion pundits were stunned at her plunging neck to navel display and kept themselves busy debating how on earth she was keeping it PG-13. I remember watching the awards and laughing the whole time, knowing exactly what she was using to pull off such a daring look—a few strips of double-stick toupee tape! (Yes, it’s the same stuff bald dudes use.) I know how well it works, because I have applied copious amounts of it to some world-class breasts myself.

Medical grade toupee tape by Topstick is the gold standard, now and forever. However, in a pinch, regular old office supply double-sided tape does the job, too. I know this because that’s what I brought to my first wardrobe gig. I was so green, I hadn’t even heard of Topstick. It did the trick, and nobody ever even noticed. But don’t be like me—get yourself a box of the original, used by wardrobe stylists the world over, available at Manhattan Wardrobe Supply for about $5.

How to Make a Skirt Behave

+ A spot of Topstick tape on your thigh keeps your skirt from flying up in an aggressive breeze. (Topstick uses medical-grade adhesive, so you can stick it to your skin without fear.)

+ Keep wrap dresses and skirts closed or in place with strategic Topstick placement.

+ Topstick your skirt to your undies to keep it from traveling around your body in an endless loop.

How to Hem Your Pants in Minutes

Use a piece of Topstick to create a fake hem in any garment. Iron it in place if you’d like, and press in a new crease where it belongs. Congrats, you’ve just hemmed your own pants or skirt in under five minutes. Sewing skills, who needs them? (Note: This is actually how I “hem” most of my actor’s pants. But shhhh! Keep that factoid to yourself.) This hem will stay in place until you peel the Topstick off or wash it a few too many times.

Odds and Ends

+ Topstick is the perfect solution to tack down the ends of flopping belts.

+ A spot of Topstick also holds up thigh-highs and knee socks like nobody’s business.

+ Keep your bra straps in place by sticking them to your garment with a dot of Topstick.

+ You can also use a piece of Topstick to help keep the gaps between buttons closed. But if you are rather large chested, this isn’t your best solution—instead, use a handful of mini safety pins or have a tailor sew small plastic snaps (known as “babydoll” snaps) in between the buttons. They’ll never pop open again!

Mastering Topstick Application

Topstick seems like a sticky mess until you master the technique of using it. Then it’s easy as pie! You’ll notice that one side of each piece has a small seam where the backing is in two pieces, while the other has a long, solid backing. Start by peeling the long, solid side off first, then sticking the exposed adhesive to your garment. After that, you can easily use a fingernail (or the pointy tip of a safety pin) to peel back each half of the perforated backing and let the top layer of the fabric you’re attempting to adhere fall gently into place.

Topstick is surprisingly durable and stays put through numerous washings—but it can be peeled off with ease. When a piece of Topstick decides it’s had enough, it simply removes itself from the garment in question and floats along in the washer like a bandage that’s lost its stickiness. It doesn’t tend to gum up your clothes up with leftover residue when you remove it, either. But leather belts are a different story—the adhesive can damage the finish if kept on for too long, so peel it off after every wearing and be sure to use a fresh piece the next day.

MARVELOUS MOLESKIN

Moleskin is a heavy cotton fabric that has been sheared on one side, giving it a short, cushy pile. It’s a favorite of Brits and dandy dressers all over the world. But the type of moleskin I’m referring to here is actually coated with a sticky backing on the other side. It comes in handy sheets that you can cut to whatever size you need, and it’s the perfect way to tame anything that rubs you the wrong way. You can find moleskin at any drugstore in the foot care aisle in both padded and flat versions. The padded kind provides blessed relief from heels that cut into your ankles and other such shoe problems, but you’ll need to have the extra room in your shoe to accommodate it. I find the flat moleskin to be best for everyday use; it’s endlessly customizable. I buy my moleskin for shows in bulk on a roll at Manhattan Wardrobe Supply—and they also carry it in black! The clothing, shoe, and accessory problems you can solve with a piece of moleskin and a pair of scissors are endless. My favorite fixes are below, but once you get your hands on a roll of moleskin, you’re sure to come up with dozens of your own.

Shoes That Misbehave

Cut a piece to your desired size and use it to line anywhere inside a shoe that is cutting, digging, or rubbing your foot. Everyone thinks that moleskin is made to adhere to your skin—but I stick it right to the shoe itself. It’s also the answer to sharp, skinny shoe straps that chafe and dig into the top of your foot. And moleskin is what I used to extricate myself from a disastrous situation when the offspring of two of the world’s most famous actors started getting a blister due to the fancy leather shoes I put her in. Crisis averted, thanks to a spot of drugstore moleskin.

Bras That Claw

The clasps on my bras are always twisting around, causing the metal hooks to scrape right against my bare skin. Covering them with some moleskin trimmed to fit provides instant relief. You’ll need to toss the old moleskin and cut a new piece to cover the hooks every time you wear that particular bra, unless you are a contortionist who is good at wriggling out of your bra without unclasping it. I precut a dozen or so pieces to the right size and keep them in my bra drawer for easy access.

Problem Jewelry

If your rings turn your fingers green, line the inside of them with a tiny strip of moleskin. If your problem is a ring that is a bit too big for your finger, just keep adding layers of moleskin in there until it fits.

Protruding Underwire

Fix your favorite bra by patching a protruding underwire with a small piece of moleskin. It’ll hold the wire in place and keep it from poking you in the boobs. It also lasts through multiple wearings, as your body heat helps “set” the adhesive. When it finally gives up the ghost and loses its stickiness, just peel it off and pop on a new piece.

Scratchy Seams

If you have sensitive skin and end up cutting the tags out of every single garment you own, you’ll love this. Use a custom-cut piece of moleskin to cover itchy, scratchy seams inside clothes, particularly the tail end of zippers on dresses. It’s saved quite a few garments for me that I thought I’d have to give up on entirely.

EVEN MORE TOOLS TO KEEP YOUR LOOK TOGETHER

I’ll go to my grave with a piece of moleskin, a handful of safety pins, and at least one strip of Topstick at the ready in my purse, but those are far from the only tools I use to keep my actors looking their best. Being prepared for any eventuality is what gets you ahead in life—and the same is true when it comes to maintaining your wardrobe.

BELT HOLE PUNCH

If you are still using the BBQ skewer or nail method to poke extra holes in your leather goods, I’ll be visiting you in the hospital soon. I beg you, allow me to introduce you to a magical invention, one that I use almost daily: the belt hole punch.

This $20 tool solves more wardrobe problems than you even realized you had. Putting extra holes in belts is only the beginning. You can also alter the straps of shoes, book bags, and purses with this magical implement. I’ve even opened a beer bottle with mine in an “emergency.” Tools that multitask: I love ’em.

PIT GUARDS

Armpit stains are one of the fastest ways to render a garment totally unwearable. And the sad, unhelpful solution to this problem is that it’s best not to let it happen in the first place. I swear by the simplest invention ever—self-adhesive, stick-in armpit guards. They protect your dry-clean-only garments from ever even touching your sweaty armpits and run about $1 per pair. You’ll make that money back almost instantly by not ruining your clothes and by stretching dry cleaning or laundering times between wearings. (You can also just cut a lowly panty liner in half and achieve the same effect for about twenty cents.) For a more permanent solution, look for actual fabric pin-in “dress shields” that can be removed and laundered frequently, available at most sewing and notions shops. They can be adhered by pinning, double stick taping, or stitching in place. If you decide to have them sewn in, ask your tailor to adhere them with tiny plastic snaps to make them easier to remove for laundering. Figuring out how to protect your garments from underarm stains in the first place is the single most valuable piece of advice in this book—or anywhere else, for that matter.

A MARKER THAT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

The humble black Sharpie is one of the most-used items in my wardrobe tool kit. It cheaply and instantly fixes scuffs on shoes and purses and is a great fake out for when you get a run in your opaque tights while you’re out and about in the world. Just scribble the skin where the hole is and voila! It’s camouflaged. (And, don’t forget to replace those tights.)

LINT ROLLERS

It’s amazing to me that people will go to the trouble to wear a really great outfit and then not invest two bucks in a lint roller to make sure they aren’t dragging cat hair and random schmutz around on their backs all day. If you want to be of service to your extended family at a wedding or funeral, pack a mini lint roller in your suitcase. They will be flocking to your hotel room, I promise you. You can always make do with some tape rolled around your hand if you don’t have a proper lint roller, but my money is on one of the sticky overnight shipping airbill pockets you may have lurking around your office. It makes a perfect makeshift de-linting device. Put it on like a mitt and pat the cat hair away.

PRE-THREADED NEEDLES

Every person reading this needs to take the time to learn how to sew on a button. But while knowing how to do so is a valuable life skill, threading a needle is a total waste of time. I use pre-threaded needles (available in a pack of ten in assorted basic colors from almost any sewing shop or drugstore) as often as possible, because what I don’t need in my life is the tedious agony of trying to thread a needle in an emergency situation. It’s total emancipation from ever having to squint into the eye of a needle like a cross-eyed wombat.

STATIC GUARD

I always use Static Guard brand antistatic, anticling spray when wearing layered clothes that love to stick to each other. I also spray my tights before putting a skirt on over them. The hair department on a show I worked on even taught me to spray a little Static Guard on my hairbrush to fight flyaways. In the winter, I spray the inside of my hat before putting it on to avoid staticky hat head later. In a pinch, you can also use a big squirt of regular old hair spray to fight static cling. But the very best, cheap, and cheerful static-fighting tip is to vigorously run a dryer sheet over whatever item is acting up. A single sheet lasts for at least twenty uses.

WET ONES

When an actor gets a stain on his or her costume, I reach for one stain remover before all others: Wet Ones antibacterial hand wipes. Available at your local drugstore for less than $3, they will remove almost any minor stain you could encounter as you go about your daily business. What makes them so good? It’s the alcohol content in each wipe—it’s not enough to damage most fabrics, but it gives a stain-removing boost regular wipes cannot. (For every single one of my stain-fighting secrets, flip to this page.) Wet ones are also the very best solution for removing deodorant marks from shirts. They don’t shed bits of white fluff onto your clothes, making them a far better choice than regular baby wipes.

EXTRASHARP EMBROIDERY SCISSORS

There are scissors, and then there are scissors. You haven’t really lived until you’ve owned a deathly sharp pair of embroidery scissors small enough to snip the tiniest errant thread or poke out the eye of a Barbie doll.

They are particularly brilliant if you hack the tags out of every garment like I do. The tips are severely pointed and allow you to cut with intense precision. You’ll never accidentally put a hole in something because you were using a big, dull, clunky pair of scissors. In my opinion, there is no brand of scissors worth purchasing besides Gingher, available at better craft and fabric stores for anywhere from $10 to $50, depending on size.

Nonstick Cooking Spray

Yes, I’m really talking about a can of classic nonstick cooking spray, available for about $3 at your local grocery store. This insane wardrobe fix was taught to me by one of the funniest actors working in Hollywood today. She must have broken a bunch of her toes at one point, because they were all sorts of mangled—making the high heels she had to wear in every single episode a nightmare to get into. Spraying her feet with a light coating of nonstick cooking spray allowed them to pop right into even the highest, tightest stilettos in a snap. I personally could not bear having my feet greased up like a suckling pig, but it really works, period. Actors know the darnedest things!

BUT WHAT ABOUT A BUSTED ZIPPER?

A busted dress zipper is never not a nightmare. And when it happens, there are sadly no good solutions. A zipper is really a mechanical instrument—so when it gives out, all hope is almost certainly lost. Your only options are either to have someone stitch you into the dress or close it up with a safety pin. (Of course, the one time it actually happened to me right before a wedding, I somehow had zero safety pins on hand. My best friend came to my hotel room, surveyed the situation, and said, “Well, at least it’ll be dark soon.”) Dresses with “invisible” zippers are the worst. The teeth of an invisible zipper are usually made of plastic and are notorious for bending, splitting, or breaking no matter how careful you are with them. All it takes is one extra ounce of pressure on the teeth as you zip past your ribcage, and suddenly the whole thing comes off the track, leaving you with nothing but a gaping expanse of skin and a sinking feeling in your heart. I don’t even bother waiting for plastic zippers to break on set—because the odds of it eventually happening are too high. I replace them with metal separating zippers immediately. Metal teeth are far less likely to break because they are way sturdier than plastic.

Since I am of the belief that it’s not a question of if, but when a close-set invisible zipper snaps on you and ruins the event you were planning to attend, the only thing you can do to keep it from happening in the first place is to pay close attention when you zip your dress up. If at all possible, have another person do the actual zipping while you hold the sides of the zipper as close together as possible. When you don’t take the time to hold the sides in order to help it slide more smoothly, you are putting excess pressure on the teeth—and subjecting them to possible bending.

In addition to recruiting a helper, you can also pretreat your zipper with a bit of soap or lip balm to help ensure a smooth zip. Never force a zipper if you can help it—most times, simply backing the zipper up and getting a “running start” will help it slide past the problem area with ease. Once a plastic zipper busts, don’t waste your time trying to bend the teeth back into place—it’s a fool’s errand. On some metal zippers, you can carefully use a pair of tiny pliers to gently bend an errant tooth back into a functional position, but this is assuming you have a pair of tiny pliers on hand to begin with! Stitching the dress closed along the zipper track with a needle and thread (just to get you through the event—the zipper will eventually need to be replaced, of course) is sadly your very best option in this case. The key to making your temporary repair invisible is to use the strongest thread possible and work your way from top to bottom, using very small stiches.

If you can’t get your hands on a needle and thread, let’s hope you packed some safety pins. I like to use two sizes of pin to “repair” a busted zipper—a larger one-and-a-half or two-inch one for the pressure points (like at the widest part of the ribcage, the tail of the zipper, and the top) and a series of smaller pins to “stich” the rest of the zipper area closed.

As with any wardrobe malfunction, the best defense against a broken zipper is preparedness. So now that you’ve read this, you’ll know to bring a spool of whatever thread matches your delicate party dress any time you travel—but it’s also a good idea to tuck a tiny bar of soap, some mini pliers, and a handful of safety pins in your bag, too.

IRONING IS FOR SUCKERS

If you do only one thing from this book to improve your clothes, it’s this: buy yourself a steamer. I am evangelical about the power of steam—because it’s way too easy to ruin your clothes with an iron. Many delicate fabrics will shrivel, burn, and die when met with a hot iron—even on its lowest setting. That’s not to say you should totally abandon your iron! There will always be a handful of garments that really do need a gentle pressing after hand washing, like pleated or intricately folded pieces. But a steady stream of steam will usually manage to coax even the most fragile garments back to life safely and effectively. Jiffy Steamer makes an old-school stand up steamer that will most likely outlive you, in addition to a travel-sized version that is all the steam you could ever need. My mentor gave me her 1970s-era full-size Jiffy when I first started in the business fifteen years ago, and it’s still going strong. When I lost a wheel from dragging it through a parking lot at four in the morning, looking for a wardrobe trailer that hadn’t yet arrived, I simply ordered a replacement wheel from the manufacturer. So if you ever find one at a garage sale in Hollywood, snap it up. Wardrobe girls have zero time for gear that can’t take a beating.

A $20 chain-store steamer will definitely do the job at least half as well—but will most likely end up spitting water on your clothes. If this happens, cover the steam head with a sock, which will absorb any water droplets before they can get onto your clothes. (I like to use a sock meant for an infant—as turns out, a baby foot is about the same size as a steamer head!) To extend the life of any steamer you own, try to use only distilled water in it. This helps keep mineral deposits from crusting up the steamer, which is what causes it to spit water out onto your clothes in the first place. Also, here’s a piece of obvious advice I had to figure out the hard way—don’t steam your clothes when they are actually on your body. Steam is hot, and it will burn you.

IRONS ALSO COME IN CANS

If you still aren’t sold on why you never need to touch an iron again, let me blow your mind and introduce you to the concept of an iron in a can—also known as wrinkle-releasing sprays. There are many commercially available ones on the market, but you can actually make your own by mixing one teaspoon of liquid fabric softener with one teaspoon of rubbing alcohol into one cup of distilled water (you can use regular tap water, but distilled water is always safer for your clothes because it doesn’t contain minerals that could leave residue). Give it a good shake in a spray bottle that has a very fine spray nozzle, pull the garment taut, lightly spray the wrinkled area, and smooth the wrinkles out with your fingertips. It works on almost every single fabric and doesn’t ever leave a stain. (One caveat: I’d test an inconspicuous area first before going full bore with it on something superdelicate like silk or chiffon.) Welcome to your new, completely iron-free life!

Wardrobe malfunctions are a sad fact of life that no amount of fame, money, or fancy clothes can prevent. But now that I’ve spilled every costume designer’s secrets, tools, and tricks for solving them, keeping your look together is actually quite effortless. You just need to use the right tools!