“I HAVE SOME news,” Jesse tells me, five days before Christmas Eve. We’re at the outdoor fire. I can’t believe we’re still doing these fires, but we are. It’s no longer a question of if we’ll make it until Christmas Eve. We’ve already made it this far; it’s just what we’re doing.
It’s not about the challenge of beating Jesse and Brendan’s old record anymore. I think we both continue showing up because, for some reason, during these fifteen minutes, Jesse and I are still able to be “us.” Perhaps that’s because we’re out here for such a short amount of time that we don’t overthink anything we’re saying. Or because it’s so cold that both of us like to talk to distract ourselves. Or maybe it’s because Jesse keeps making the drinks stronger to help us stay warm, and the alcohol loosens us up. Whatever the reason, it’s nice to have this time, especially now that so much of our days are spent doing our own things.
“What is it?” I ask.
Jesse blows on his hands before answering. We’re both on our feet, standing near the flames. “My parents have made their decision.”
The temperature is in the low teens tonight, and it’s snowing. I’m so cold I assume I’m completely frozen—inside and out—but apparently my heart is still capable of movement. A lot of movement.
Holy hell. What is happening inside my chest?
I’ve known this was coming, but I thought it wouldn’t happen until after Christmas—no idea why. I also have no idea what Jesse is about to tell me because his face is giving nothing away. I didn’t realize just how much I want this for Jesse until now. I want this for him more than I’ve ever wanted anything for myself.
“What is it?” I press.
I’m getting a taste of what it’s like to wait for an answer I really care about. Now I feel even worse for what I’ve put Jesse and Sky through these past few weeks.
Waiting isn’t fun. It’s torturous.
Jesse reaches for the drink he had set down earlier on an armrest on one of the chairs. I hope he’s picking it up again to toast to the future and not because he’s going to need a drink to dull the disappointment. But either way, I just need to know—now.
Jesse turns toward me. “They’re going to let me keep the inn.”
“Oh, Jesse!” I scream. We do toast then, and I jump up and down, spilling my drink everywhere, but I don’t care. I fling my arms around Jesse in the biggest hug, my heart dancing.
I’ve never been so happy for someone in my life. Since I’ve gotten here, Jesse has been such a champion of me figuring out my dream. It’s so fitting that this holiday season is culminating with him getting his.
When we break apart, my vision is blurred with tears. “These are happy tears,” I clarify. “I’m so happy for you, Jesse.”
“Thanks,” he says, grinning, all that joy spilling over. But then he turns serious. “I also want you to know that no matter what happens between us, you have a job here after December.”
“Thank you, Jesse.”
“No matter what, Harper,” he stresses.
I hug him again. I can’t not hug him again. Jesse has always wanted what’s best for me, and although the dynamic between us has changed over the past three months, in both good and bad ways, he hasn’t changed.
I know who Jesse is, and because of his help, I’ve learned who I am.
“Merry Christmas, Jesse,” I say, grateful to know that no matter what, he and I will be okay.