Chapter Fourteen

The guard, who hadn’t been dismissed, remained frozen a few feet away, his expression one of horror, and Bevyn’s look wasn’t far behind. With a gesture, Llywelyn sent both to roust the garrison for a second, thorough search, though in Llywelyn’s heart of hearts, he knew what had happened, and they wouldn’t find Cadell or Sophie. With his daughter sobbing into his chest, Llywelyn felt tears pricking at the corners of his own eyes. Every adult in the room knew exactly what Anna was experiencing in this moment, and the memory of the events of all those years ago, when Llywelyn had ransacked Brecon Castle, looking for Meg and Anna herself, came flooding back.

His words made Anna sob all the harder, and Llywelyn looked apologetically at his wife.

Twenty-five years ago, Meg and Anna had just been gone, and it hadn’t been until David and Anna had saved Llywelyn’s life that day at Cilmeri fourteen years later that he had known the truth for certain.

One fear had been that Meg had been abducted by Llywelyn’s brother Dafydd, or even Roger Mortimer, both of whom were always concocting plots to get the better of him and had both known by then that the best way to do so was through those Llywelyn loved. King Edward had implemented a similar strategy years later when he’d imprisoned Elinor de Montfort, to whom Llywelyn was betrothed, refusing to give her up until Llywelyn went before him on bended knee.

Ted turned the rocking chair towards Anna, but it was as if the real Anna had been replaced by a puddle of emotion, and Llywelyn had to half-carry her to it. Having seated her in the chair, he crouched in front his daughter, trying to find the words to comfort her.

But Anna merely leaned forward and sobbed into his shoulder. “Daddy, I don’t know what to do!”

The use of the word daddy showed her distress. She never called him daddy, that supreme Americanism. It was what Elen called Ted. Llywelyn was Papa. Not today.

“It’s going to be okay.” Meg smoothed Anna’s hair, though when she met Llywelyn’s eyes over the top of their daughter’s head, Meg’s tears matched Anna’s.

“I can’t lose them all,” Anna sobbed. “I need to go after him, but—”

“But you can’t.” Llywelyn said flatly. “We can’t have the five of you wandering about in Avalon. Bad enough to have Sophie, Cadell, Dafydd, and William.”

Elisa dragged a bench away from the table, and Llywelyn gave Anna up to her mother, who took his place. With the bench, both Elisa and Meg had something to sit on, and the three women sat in a close triangle, their knees touching.

Elisa rubbed Anna’s shoulder. “Cadell went with Sophie, Anna. She isn’t you, but she’ll take good care of him.”

This assertion only seemed to make Anna cry all the harder. Ted, with the instincts of wanting to help but not knowing how, poured a cup of wine and put it in front of Anna. “Drink.”

Elisa frowned, but Meg handed the cup up to Llywelyn, who was tempted to drain the wine himself in one go. He resisted, however, in large part because he’d been raised in a household in which wild emotion, accompanied often by wild drunkenness (or perhaps vice versa), occurred on a regular basis. His mother, Senana, had been a woman of fiery temper, equally matched by Llywelyn’s father, Gruffydd. It had been one of the reasons Gruffydd had been deprived of his inheritance, since a ruler who couldn’t control himself was a danger to his people.

While growing up in that long-ago household had turned Llywelyn’s younger brother Dafydd devious and manipulative, Llywelyn’s response had been to become impassive and unflappable. And observant, as he understood (from Meg) was common for abused children. When either of his parents were in a temper, he endeavored to escape rather than confront them, which was the reason, on the day of his family’s departure to England unknowingly to be imprisoned in the Tower of London, he hadn’t been available to be found. By then, Llywelyn had developed plenty of hiding places to run away to. He never saw his father again.

Dafydd had accused Llywelyn of abandoning him, but Llywelyn himself at the time had been a man by law but really no more than a boy. In those days, he could save only himself. And on the day his parents left, he’d sworn if he ever had a wife and children of his own, his household would be different.

Thus, with thoughts of his own childhood horrors swirling in his head, he left the goblet on the high table, and came back with water. Remembering that Anna hadn’t drunk wine at dinner either, he crouched beside the rocking chair. “You’re with child, aren’t you?”

Meg gasped, but Anna took the water from him and, after a trembling breath, managed to gulp some of it down. After a few more deep breaths, she wasn’t recovered, but she could actually open her eyes and look at her parents. “Yes.”

“No.” Anna shook her head. “It would have made it harder for him to march away.”

Becoming a father had turned Llywelyn’s entire world upside down, even when David was still in the womb. Over the last twenty-five years, his children’s existence had kept him going. And now with grandchildren, his happiness couldn’t be more complete. But still, as a grandfather, he perhaps had a little more distance on the situation than Cadell’s mother.

So he stroked away the tears on Anna’s cheek with his forefinger and said, “Cry all you need to. You should have seen me when you and your mother left all those years ago. I hid my despair and channeled my grief towards things I could control. I wore myself to exhaustion. Don’t doubt that everyone here understands exactly what you’re going through.”

“Hey! Hey! It’s going to be okay.” Meg squeezed Llywelyn’s hand, letting him know that she, at least, appreciated his words.

“Is it?” Anna’s shoulders shook. “I can’t—I can’t deal with this.”

“I’m not dismissing your emotions. They are real and justified,” Meg said in her rational mother voice, “but that’s your pregnancy brain talking.”

Meg looked regretfully up at Llywelyn, who had straightened from his crouch. These days, his knees couldn’t stay in that position for very long. He tipped his head towards the fire, silently asking Meg to come with him. Anna was going to have to come to terms with Cadell’s disappearance and get a grip on herself, and none of them could do it for her.

Meg released Anna to Elisa, who remained on the bench, and moved to wrap her arms around Llywelyn’s waist. “I’m obviously saying all the wrongs things.”

“I am too.” He patted her back. “I don’t know that anything you could say would be the right thing.”

Ted had been hovering on the margins, but now he stepped in. “Anna, I know you’re upset. As your father said, we’ve all been there. But we also know that Cadell, of all our family, is going to be fine, don’t we?”

“Yes, we do.” Meg loosened her arms enough to turn to look at her brother-in-law. “He really is going to be fine, isn’t he?”

Llywelyn had long since accepted that the time traveling miracle was something beyond anyone’s ability to understand. It was its own thing, and it was a useless endeavor to attempt to explain it. Any fool could see that the world was a far bigger place than a puny human could imagine or control.

“I know it’s terrifying to think of Cadell in Avalon, but he isn’t alone, and your son is the most capable child I’ve ever seen. If anyone can do this, he can.”

At long last, Anna had started to think, and she stared down at her hands, still weeping, but no longer gasping.

Llywelyn said in an undertone to Ted, not wanting Anna to overhear. “I agree. This could even be good for him. It’s hard to raise a prince who isn’t arrogant and entitled.”

After some more hugs and soft words from Elisa, Anna was able to look up at her.

“Let’s figure out what you’re most worried about,” Elisa said. “I assume that’s what Cadell faces in Avalon?”

Elisa looked intently at her niece. “As Ted just said, Cadell is the last person you need to worry about. One, he’s with Sophie, and she will take good care of him. You know she will. She has Chad’s phone numbers memorized. She has family and friends she can call upon. She’s been gone from Avalon only two weeks. From what you yourself reported, once Sophie finds a phone and calls him, Chad Treadman will move heaven and earth to keep them safe. And on top of all that, David is there.”

Elisa spoke over any objections. “But better. Cadell traveled! Do you realize what that means? He also has it—whatever it is. Which means he’ll shift worlds when his life is in danger. Worry about Math or the baby if you must, but Cadell, out of all of us, is protected!”

The idea that her son couldn’t be killed hadn’t yet occurred to Anna, and the shock of the realization had her catching her breath.

Now Elisa took Anna’s hand. “Like you, as a mother, my capacity for worry knows no bounds, but this is one of those times when events are out of our control. You have to let it go.”

“Arthur went with Gwenllian when he was only three, and look how well he was taken care of,” Elisa said. “Christopher was there within minutes of their arrival.”

Anna had both hands to her chest, and she was breathing deeply. She bent back her head, eyes closed, and Llywelyn saw the moment the worst of the tension left her body.

“You’re right. You’re right.” Then Anna turned her head to look at Llywelyn and Meg. “A moment ago, I was mad at you for not offering to go yourselves. I’m sorry. I was wrong to think it.”

“Don’t even suggest it!” Elisa’s eyes widened in alarm as she looked at Meg. “You can’t go after him any more than Anna can.”

“Think what MI-5 would do if they got their hands on the Queen of Wales,” Ted said darkly. “They almost did once, thanks to me. Thank God you were smarter than I was.”

Anna managed another deep breath, rocking back in the chair. She even shot a smile at her parents. Then Bronwen appeared in the doorway to the hall, a folded piece of paper in her hand. She stood hesitating, taking in the scene. She couldn’t miss the fact that they were all huddled around Anna, who was clearly distraught. “What’s happened?” She started forward. “Not Math—”

“No,” Llywelyn put out a hand. He looked around at the rest of his family, uncertain how to begin.

Rather than express shock or horror, Bronwen smiled sorrowfully and held up the paper in her hand. “I have here a note he left in my room. I think he left it on my pillow, but it fell to the floor, and I found it after putting Cadwaladr to sleep.” She bit her lip.

“Just read it,” Llywelyn said. “We’re pretty sure we know what it says.”

Dear Mama,

If you’re reading this now then you know I’m not in my bed, and something maybe went a little wrong with my plan. Sorry about that. I decided that I would go to Avalon to get Uncle David back. You can’t go because of the baby, Grandma is too old, and Arthur already went, and he’s too young anyway. So it’s up to me.

Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back soon. I took my coins and things to sell, so I should have plenty of money. I hope you don’t mind.

Love

Cadell

p.s. No offense to Bran, but I think you ought to have a girl this time.

Ted scoffed. “That’s totally Cadell. No offense to Bran.” He snorted again.

Llywelyn had to turn away because he found himself laughing. He couldn’t be angry at his grandson for being so completely himself. He had to run his hand through his hair and take some deep breaths before he could turn back.

Tears threatened again for Anna, but she managed to swallow them down and say, “He has to live.”

Llywelyn was glad to see that his daughter had regained control of her emotions, but as soon as it was reasonable to excuse himself, he made his way out of the hall, fetching up in the doorway of the keep to look out at the night and the rain making puddles in the bailey. And he hadn’t stood there very long before he found arms coming around his waist and his wife ducking under his arm so she could stand beside him.

“Everything we said to Anna was true. Now that she’s pregnant, she really shouldn’t be time traveling. Just because she did it before doesn’t make it safe or sensible.”

He stood silent without answering. He had been thinking the same thing, of course, weighing the options and the risks.

Then he turned to face his wife and wrapped her up more fully in his arms. “I wouldn’t let you go alone.”

They stood in silence for another minute, listening to the rain, on the same page or wavelength or whatever modern expression conveyed that they understood each other and agreed. What Llywelyn didn’t want to happen was to have Meg sneaking off to the tower on her own like Cadell had done. Not for the first time, he acknowledged that some members of his family were too noble for their own good.

“I know well what it is like to have my son ripped away from me,” he said finally.

Meg tsked through her teeth. “You mean like we’re experiencing now?” She gave a little moan. “David could be in prison.”

“You forget that I have been to the Land of Madoc,” he said, using the old term. “Your prisons are palaces compared to what we have here.”

“And if they’re not?” Meg’s voice broke. She hadn’t cried when they’d arrived at Chester to discover Dafydd had time traveled, and Llywelyn acknowledged that he’d been a bit cavalier about it himself. He had been far more concerned about what was happening here, with the war and with these plots to murder Dafydd yet again.

He kissed his wife’s temple as he held her. “Dafydd has a destiny. We know that. Trust in God. He will not fail us.”

“Perhaps that had to happen to create a man such as Dafydd, so that this here could happen. In Avalon, life is so soft. It’s easy to think a man can control his own existence and future, and he has no need for God anymore.”

Meg grunted. “It’s easier to have faith when my family is all together and safe.”

Llywelyn laughed. “That’s why it’s called faith. If anything, as we said in the hall, you should be concerned about Math and the others. Lili is marching to battle, the foolish girl. If you must worry about something, worry about a stray arrow hitting one of them.”

Meg put her head back on his chest and cinched her arms tighter around his waist. “We’ll give it a day. Maybe two. The last thing we want, as you said, is five or six of us running around Avalon.”

“God knows I love my grandson, but perhaps a day or two in Avalon will teach him a little humility.”

“Cadell? Few things are less likely.” Meg laughed outright. “And that’s coming from someone who can time travel.”