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Alik found me in the break room after the morning show. I sat at a small round table eating a quick breakfast of bagel and cream cheese before I got on the road for the two hour drive home.
He poured a cup of coffee and ambled toward me. Small curls of steam rose from his mug. We were alone. A television buzzed the local news on the countertop near the microwave. Overhead lights cast an ugly fluorescent hue on my skin, his skin, my food and his coffee cup. My head felt heavy, tired of living in limbo. My body demanded rest.
“You took off last night. I didn’t see you after the gig.” Alik peeked down at me and then into his coffee mug.
“It was getting kind of late. I was worried I might not be able to wake up this morning if I stayed much longer.”
“Thanks for coming out.” He looked me in the eyes.
I was trapped in his gaze. My heartbeat accelerated, and my arms and neck prickled with heat. “Of course,” I nodded, swallowing a bite of my bagel and fumbling with the thin paper napkin. “I wanted to be there. You’re very talented, but I’m sure you already know that.”
He took a seat across from me. “I’m glad you think so.”
“I do. You seemed a little nervous before you sang, but you really impressed the crowd.” I wanted to say more, wanted to tell him how the sound of his voice sucked away the darkness, how I wanted to fold myself into his lyrics.
Fortunately, I was aware these thoughts could land me on some sort of secret stalker’s list or at the very least win me a prime seat at any Cheaters’ Anonymous group meeting. Still, I couldn’t resist the temptation of him so close. I slid my hand across the table and placed it on top of his, touching him for the first time. “Alik?”
He looked at our hands, my pale white skin atop his, warm and tanned.
“Thank you for including me.”
Before he could respond, Inna sauntered into the room and strode by our table. She afforded me a smile, watching me pull my hand away from Alik’s. “Great show today. You slayed that senator. I’ve never seen a politician look so afraid.”
“Thanks Inna. I just got so fired up when he mentioned cutbacks in our schools. I know it was supposed to be Dana’s interview, but I had to say something. He mentioned it like it was no big deal, like it was all part of the greater good. It’s so shortsighted.”
“Well you really kicked the segment up a notch,” Inna continued. “He obviously had no clue our mommy co-host has worked around enough reporters to ask the tough questions.”
Alik slid back in his chair and sipped his coffee. “Natalie kills it on every show. It’s only a matter of time before they have her go full-time.”
“Nonsense,” I said, feeling more than a little embarrassed but also flattered.
“I mean it,” Alik continued. “I heard Dana’s shopping her resume tape, looking for a more ‘interesting’ position at someplace more ‘prestigious’.”
I set down my bagel. “Dana has nothing to worry about. I’ve only been here a little over a month and I haven’t heard a single word from any of the higher ups about a promotion. Even if it were true, I couldn’t accept the job.”
“Why not?” Alik asked, sitting a little straighter in his chair.
“Because I don’t live here. I can’t drive up to Los Angeles every night and back down to San Diego every morning. Three days a week is enough.”
“I know a good realtor,” Alik tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear.
“Inna, will you tell him that when you have children you can’t pick up and move like it’s no big deal.” I looked over at her for support.
Inna poured a cup of coffee and mixed in some sugar. “I also heard they’re thinking about offering you a promotion once you’re a little more seasoned. The ratings have gone way up since you started. I think you’d be crazy not to take it.”
I rubbed my thumb nail across my teeth. “Thanks for letting me know.” I shot her a dirty look.
She stared right back at me. “I would have told you last night, but you took off so early.”
“Whose side are you on here my friend?” I felt so much bolder about speaking my mind when I was in work mode. “Anyway, it doesn’t really matter. There’s no way I could take that position. My kids adore their schools. The majority of our friends are in San Diego. Plus, Mark has been making progress in rehab. I couldn’t just uproot everyone because I wanted to work an extra two days a week.”
Inna sat down, filling the space between Alik and me. “It wouldn’t just be an extra two days of work. It would be a big step up in prestige and salary. Forget about the whole stay-at-home mom from cute little San Diego sharing her perspective. You would be a real player, in a major market, on a nationally syndicated talk show. That’s not something to take lightly, my friend. Think about it before you get the call. Consider what it could mean for your career.”
On the drive home, I did give a potential promotion quite a bit of thought. It was fun to imagine a whole new lifestyle, more respect, easier access to all of the exciting LA events, a bigger paycheck. My twenty-two-year-old self would have been beside herself with delight. But I wasn’t twenty-two-years-old. Everything I had said about moving my family to Los Angeles right now was true. There was also Alik. How could I resist my attraction to him, and remain faithful to my husband if I lived in the same town and saw him at work Monday through Friday?