––––––––
“Doppo-goober what?” asked Ruffster. He looked back and forth from Honey to the other Dane. “Holy liver treat, Honey, she’s like your double!”
Honey eyed Anja warily. She wasn’t sure she liked having a doppelgänger—it was a bit creepy having someone look exactly like you.
The other Dane extended her nose in a friendly way. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you.”
She had a soft voice and beautiful, dark eyes. And no drool at all. Honey licked her own lips self-consciously, feeling the slobber clinging there. Well, they might look the same, but maybe they weren’t that alike after all. And Anja seemed to stand so regally, with her head held high and her neck arched, and her feet tucked neatly together. Honey suddenly became aware of her own paws splayed in different directions and her body slouched over to one side. Sucking her stomach in, she tried to stand up straighter.
Anja laughed. “Are you trying to stack? Here, I’ll show you how.”
“Stack?” asked Honey.
“Mm-hmm. S.T.A.C.K. It’s the first lesson all show dogs learn. Show. Them. A. Canine. Knockout. We start when we’re just a few months old and we practise every day.” She walked around Honey. “OK, now stand up tall. No, taller. Right up on your tippy-toes. That’s it. Stretch your neck out and lift your head up. Higher. Higher! Good, now look out as if you’re gazing at the distant horizon...”
Honey tried, but a Giant Schnauzer with an enormous bum was blocking her distant horizon. She settled on looking at his curved tail instead.
Anja circled her again. “Good, good ... keep your eyes there ... Don’t look down! Now, stretch your hind legs as far back as they’ll go. That’s it. Even more—”
“Can’t ...” said Honey through gritted teeth as she held her head up.
“Of course you can. Just keep stretching.”
“I’ll fall over!”
“No, you won’t.” Anja chuckled. “It just feels a bit weird at first. But you’ll soon get used to it. Good. OK, now suck your stomach in, prick your ears, and think majestic.”
“Think what?” squeaked Honey, trying to hold her stomach in.
“Majestic. That’s what we Danes are. It’s in our breed standard. We are the Apollo of Dogs.”
Right now, Honey didn’t feel like the Apollo of anything. Her neck ached, her legs felt wobbly, and she was going cross-eyed from gazing at the distant Schnauzer bum. Whew, being a show dog was hard work. She heard human chuckling and realised that the Breeder was watching them. Olivia and Ruffster’s Guy were nowhere to be seen. They must have gone back to move the car. Honey released her breath, dropped her head, and relaxed her body, letting her legs slide back into normal position.
“That was very good,” said Anja, wagging her tail. “Very good for a total beginner!”
“Thanks,” said Honey, feeling proud of herself, although she was glad she wouldn’t have to go into the ring anytime soon.
“What’s goin’ on over there?” asked Ruffster suddenly, looking over to the space next to them where a crowd of dogs and people were gathering excitedly.
“Oh, for the love of bacon ...” Anja rolled her eyes. “That’s Ferrari’s crate space.’”
“Who?” said Ruffster.
“Ferrari’s one of the real up-and-coming stars of the show world. The judges just love him. He’s been winning championships up and down the country—and he’s only eighteen months old! But if you ask me,” Anja lowered her voice, “all that fame has gone to his head a bit. He never goes to any show now without his Personal Spa Pawdicurist, and Chew Toy Therapist. His crate space has to be sprayed with Aromapet Lavender Extract exactly one hour before he arrives and he’s always got to be put between a brown dog and a white dog.”
Honey peered curiously over. In the middle of the crowd of dogs and people stood a red Cocker Spaniel. His long ears had been gathered up in a lime green “snood” around his head, which made him look rather silly—like Olivia when she wore that funny cap to get into the shower—but he didn’t seem bothered at all. He was sitting with his nose in the air, ignoring the woman who was trying to hand-feed him some roast chicken from a silver bowl. She sighed and shook her head at the other humans who were fussing around the gleaming chrome crate. They all made worried faces and huddled together to talk.
Meanwhile, Ferrari got up and began strolling around. The crowd of dogs around him surged forwards, eager noses thrust towards him, following wherever he went. Honey noticed that several of them were wearing snoods too, even though they didn’t have long ears.
“Ferrari! Ferrari!”
“Over here!”
“I love you, Ferrari!”
“Ferrari is top dog!”
The young Cocker Spaniel paused as he came past Anja’s crate and gave them a cocky grin. “Paws up, Anja!”
“Hello, Ferrari.” Anja gave him a cool nod.
“So ... you ready to meet me in the ring?”
“I’m ready if you are.”
“I’m always ready,” scoffed Ferrari. “I’m gonna win this easy-peasy.”
Ruffster bristled. “That’s big talk comin’ from a young pup like you.”
Ferrari laughed. “Hey, mongrel, I won ‘Best Puppy in Show’ when I was just twelve weeks old. I’m the top dawg and everybody knows it! I’m gonna do whatever it takes to win.” His eyes fell on Honey. “Who’s your clone, Anja?”
“Honey’s my cousin,” said Anja.
“You Danes sure have the same droopy faces,” Ferrari laughed, looking at Honey. “You got a leak in your mouth or something? That’s some slobber!”
Ruffster bristled again and took a step forwards, but Honey stepped on his paw.
“Ow!” He growled, looking at her. “What was that for? You weigh seventy kilos, you know!”
“Sorry,” said Honey. “I didn’t want you doing something you might regret.”
“That pup needs a good scruffin’,” Ruffster muttered, giving Ferrari a dirty look. The Cocker Spaniel was now sniffing around the chair and bags next to Anja’s crate. For a minute, Honey thought he was going to cock his leg against the chair, but then he saw the Breeder watching him and thought better of it.
“Hey, didja hear the creepy howling? Pretty cool, huh?” asked Ferrari, turning back to them.
“I wouldn’t call it cool.” Anja shivered. “You know what happened yesterday after the howling. That poor Chihuahua broke her leg. Everyone was expecting her to win the Toy Group, you know, and go on to compete for ‘Best in Show’. Now she’s out of the competition.” She looked nervously around. “Something bad is going to happen this time too ... I know it.”
“The only bad thing that’s gonna happen is that you’re gonna lose and I’m gonna win,” said Ferrari, with a grin. “Sniff ya later!”
“Unbelievable,” growled Ruffster, watching the young Cocker Spaniel swagger away.
Anja watched him go. “He’s just a bit young and full of himself. You’ve got to admit, though, that’s some confidence, eh? If all dogs were born with his confidence, we wouldn’t need any behaviourists.”
She turned as she heard her name being called. The Breeder beckoned her over and handed her the bowl of dog biscuits that had been sitting on the chair by the crate. She looked at Honey and Ruffster’s hopeful expressions and seemed about to scoop more biscuits into another bowl when Olivia and Ruffster’s Guy returned.
“Ticks! Thought I was goin’ to score some grub there, for a minute,” muttered Ruffster as they watched his Guy shake his head over the biscuits. “She looks like a soft touch, your Breeder. And hey, your doopy-gaga’s pretty nice,” said Ruffster.
“Doppelgänger.”
“Whatever. Although—holy liver treat—if I met her on a dark night, I wouldn’t know that it wasn’t you.” Ruffster laughed. “It’s kind o’ freaky!”
“It’s not funny,” Honey grumbled. “It’s all right for you—you haven’t got a doppelgänger.”
“Well, see, that’s the cool thin’ about bein’ a mongrel mutt ... every one o’ us is totally unique,” grinned Ruffster.
“You should remember that the next time you see Colette,” said Honey.
Ruffster’s ears drooped. “Oh, Colette ...”
There was a sudden choking sound and they turned to see Anja staggering back from her bowl. She took a few wobbly steps, then turned, panting and swaying unsteadily.
“Anja? What’s wrong?” cried the Breeder, looking up.
Anja made another gagging noise, then her eyes glazed over and she sank slowly to the ground.