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NOONIE BEGAN TO SUFFER an advance home-sickness, wandering alone into the mountains or standing on the beach looking out to sea. The inconceivable distance between here and where she was going reached out and clutched her. Her stomach somersaulted. She felt dizzy.
Her last day at school was more emotional than she expected. Pupils loaded her with presents. The Head eulogised her in the staffroom and she made a thank you speech and accepted a glass vase. She cried when she went to say goodbye to her whiteboard, full displays and tall windows overlooking the playing fields. That night she was distraught.
Five days before her departure for England, she went to Lek’s baptism. The thought of seeing Edward again had tortured her. In the event, she over-compensated and came across twice as aloof as was probably necessary. But she maintained her sang-froid only at considerable personal cost, and when he presented her with her wedding-present she almost abandoned the façade. Nevertheless, as they parted, she congratulated herself on having ridden the wave.
That night as she lay in bed, an innocuous-looking question popped into her head. If she had married Edward would he have left her alone here for a month? She felt sure he wouldn’t.
So what? Edward was young, Charles wasn’t, so perhaps the comparison was unfair. But unfair or not, the fact remained. Charles had not only gone back to England but he hadn’t phoned or written. All he’d done was given her his address so she could find her way over to him on the date they’d agreed for her arrival.
It was only gradually that she realised how odd this was. She began to approach the departure date with trepidation and even alarm.
So far, she had resisted ringing him, partly because she had the old-fashioned notion that he ought to be the first to make contact but also because he’d given her his number ‘for emergencies’, implying that that was its sole purpose.
But it was time to be proactive. She bought a phone card, found a public telephone and rang him.
No answer.
Over the next three days, she tried seven times at different times of the day and night, with and without the operator. Always the same result.
By now, she only had a day left before she was due in England. She was becoming frantic.
She needed someone to confide in.
As usual, Georgina was the only reasonable choice. Tasanee would go into reassurance-mode.
The problem was, Georgina had been opposed to Charles from the start. She hadn’t spoken to Noonie since the wedding day. One of them had to break the deadlock, assuming that was what it was, and, three days before her departure, Noonie went to her house and rang the doorbell. She could hear nothing inside. Maybe she was out. Then the door swung open.
“Hello, stranger,” Georgina said. “I thought you weren’t speaking to me any more.”
“You did not. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I’m trying to get used to the island without you.”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Come in.”
Noonie stepped inside and removed her shoes. “Am I interrupting anything?”
“No. Sit down.”
They went through into the Living Room and sat down facing each other.
Noonie raised her eyes. “Look, I know you don’t like Charles - ”
“Ah, now that’s where you’re wrong. I do like Charles. I think he’s kind, good sense of humour, courteous, etcetera, etcetera.”
“But?”
“It’s too late for this conversation, Noonie.”
“Please.”
Georgina sighed. “I don’t think he’s right for you. He’s far too old. He’ll spend a lot of his time sleeping and he’ll probably spend the weekends either playing golf or up in his loft, with his model railway. I’m not saying it won’t work. Depressingly, it probably will. Even if he doesn’t try, you will, and that’ll almost certainly be enough. I just think you deserve better. It’s a shame you couldn’t have got together with Edward Grant.”
Noonie started. “What do you know about Edward Grant?”
Georgina rolled her eyes.
“Has – has Lek Shawcross said anything?”
“Lek? Why? Does she need to? Why oh why is it that when one young person’s in love with another, everyone in the room who isn’t directly involved can see it – it’s just so obvious. I mean, blindingly obvious, Noonie. And yet it just passes the recipient by. Whoosh.”
“I didn’t come here to talk about that.”
“You used to mix such great cocktails.”
“What?”
“For old times sake. Then you can tell me whatever it is that’s on your mind. And I promise to give it my full attention.”
Noonie smiled. “Remember Van Gogh’s Anti-Insanity Lemon Tonic?”
“Remember Guava Daiquiri of the Party Gods?”
They both looked over to the empty space where Alice used to sit.
Georgina swallowed. She looked into the blankness in front of her, and spread her fingers out on the arms of the chair. “Some people,” she said, “maybe most people, Noonie, I don’t know – experience two deaths. One comes when the last intimate friend they had falls away. The second one – probably the proverbial ‘release’, after the first – is their literal, biological death, so ... so maybe now you can understand why I’ve been trying to prepare myself for your going. I’d like to think you’ll come back, year on year. Or even once. But I don’t think you will. I don’t think you ever will.”
Noonie wrapped her arms round her and for the first time in her life, she felt how frail, how bony she was. She started to cry. “I may be back sooner than you think.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think Charles may have left me.”
“You mean - ?”
“I don’t mean, gone back to England. I mean left me for good. I haven’t heard from him since he left the island. No letters, no phone calls, nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing.”
“Have you tried phoning him?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“There’s no answer.”
Georgina raised her eyebrows. “Shall I try?”
“If you like.”
“Have you got the number?”
Noonie went into her bag, handed the number over and sat feeling very small and alone while Georgina tried once direct and once via the operator.
“You’re right,” she said, hanging up.
“What if something’s happened to him?”
“Has he got any friends we could ring? What about Edward Grant?”
“Please don’t ring Edward Grant.”
“Not that I’ve got his number, anyway. I’d have to call Lek first.”
“Leave it, please.”
“If you insist.”
“I think we both know what’s happened,” Noonie said.
“Do we? Enlighten me then.”
“Marry in haste, repent at leisure. Husband goes home; husband recovers sanity; husband regrets everything; husband battens down hatches and hopes wife will go away. God, I’ve been such an idiot. I can’t believe what I’ve done.”
They sat in silence for a few moments. “So what are we going to do now?” Georgina said.
“What am I going to do, you mean? I’m going to go to England and confront him. He can’t run away for ever.”
“What if something happens to you? Listen, I’ll come with you. I’ll lie low, he won’t know I’m there.”
“No, I’ve got to do this alone. Besides, it’s only a trip abroad. I’m twenty-seven. I’m capable of going abroad on my own. It’s not as if I’m going into the jaws of hell. What can happen? At worst, he can pretend not to know me.”
“Right, this is a worst-case scenario. Don’t get carried away by it. There might be any number of other explanations.”
“Such as?”
“I don’t know. Illness, accident ... even death.”
Noonie winced.
“I’m just trying to widen the options,” Georgina said.
“I know.”
“Look, call me as soon as you get there. I won’t be coming to see you off at the airport. I don’t like airport farewells. And I don’t want to step on Tasanee’s toes. So let’s make tonight our farewell, okay?”
“Okay. How about a cocktail?”
“Sure. How about something appropriate, then? Something like a Mexican Firing Squad? I’ll get the blender.”
Half an hour later, when Noonie left, Georgina picked up the phone. She phoned Lek then she phoned the airport and then she phoned for a taxi.
Adirake Leekpai lived in Siray Island in one of the houses on stilts on the brink of the ocean. When Noonie popped her head round his front door he was sitting with Solada on his knee, drinking a can of orange-juice and watching a Muay Thai film. Four wicker chairs and a chest of drawers made of jute and plywood sat tidily on the floor. There was a pile of magazines in the corner.
“Just came to say goodbye,” Noonie said.
Solada fell onto the floor as Adirake stood up and brushed his T-shirt down. “It’s Noonie!”
“You don’t have to get up,” Noonie said. “Are you okay, Solada?”
Solada was buttoning up her blouse. “I’ll get us all something to eat.”
“Go and buy a cooked fish,” Adirake said.
Noonie held up two carrier bags. “Six hot chicken breasts, some spicy cashew nut sauce, a big tub of rice and a two litre bottle of limeade. All halal. Stay where you are.”
Solada clapped her hands and beamed. “Wow!”
“We’re just about to watch a Tony Jaa film,” Adirake said. “Pull up a chair. Wow, you didn’t have to treat us. You’re our guest..”
“I’m leaving tomorrow. It’s my prerogative.”
Neither Solada nor Adirake liked to talk while they ate, so they watched to Tony Jaa promote the cause of justice for one and a half hours instead. Adirake went outside for a burp then came back and switched the television off.
“Noonie, remain seated. I want to talk to you. Solada, stay here. I want you to hear this, too.”
Noonie folded her hands in her lap and tried to look as deferential as she could. She was used to Adirake dispensing the fruits of his wisdom.
“Firstly,” he said. “Salaam, thanks for the food. Secondly, I’ve been meaning to give you this for a while.”
He reached down and picked up a jam-jar full of what looked like tangled cotton. She took it.
“Thank you. Er, what is it?”
“My hair. When you get to England and when you can afford it, I want you to have it DNA tested. Then you’ll know for sure that we’re twins.”
“I already know we are.”
“Take it.”
She put it into one of the empty carrier-bags.
“And write to me when you get the results. Either way. Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Do it this year.”
“Yes, sir.”
“He’s like this with me, too,” Solada said.
“It’s important,” Adirake said. “And there’s something else ...”
“Yes?”
“It’s – when I first met you, all those years ago, when we first discovered we were brother and sister, I – I may have said some things that were – well, wrong. I’m sorry for those things; I’m sorry I thought I was in love with you, and I’m sorry for making a fool of myself. I’m sorry I pestered you.”
“We’ve all done things we’d rather not have,” she said.
He looked at the ground. “When I was little, I always thought I must have a missing sister or brother. It always felt like there was a bit of me not there. And then suddenly, there you were. And you were beautiful. And I suppose everything just rushed to the surface and I mistook about my real feelings. Anyway, sorry.”
She reached out her hands to clasp his. “That’s okay.”
“And that’s why I can’t come to England to live with you.”
She withdrew. “What?”
“It just wouldn’t work. I love you but in a sisterly way. My life’s with Solada now and I couldn’t leave the sea. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”
“And there’s the language barrier,” Solada said. “Neither of us speaks English. Oh, I suppose we could learn, but - ”
“Er, sorry. You’ve lost me. You were thinking of coming to England? To live with Charles and I?”
Adirake and Solada looked at each other.
“Well, yes,” Solada said. “Isn’t that what you want?”
“Charles begged us to come,” Adirake said.
“Several times,” Solada said.
“He said he’d talked it over with you and you were over the moon about it.”
“Oh – oh, yes, sorry, that’s right,” Noonie said. “Yes, that’s right. Well, I’m sorry you can’t come.”
Solada laughed. “We thought he was gay for a while.”
“Yes, sorry Noonie. I mean, he did take a bit of a liking to me.”
“I know,” Noonie said.
“And then, insisting that me and Adirake should go and live nearby,” Solada. Said. “And it wasn’t even as if he was very keen on me. He wasn’t.”
“Yes, yes,” Noonie said. “Sorry you can’t ... come to England.”
“No need for regrets,” Adirake said.
Noonie’s voice dropped. “No, none.”
“Anyhow, glad that’s out of the way,” he said. “We’ve cleared the air for the main event. Solada’s going to have a baby.”
Noonie suddenly felt a surge of emotion like an angry creature trying to climb her throat. She burst into tears and hugged Solada. Probably the best thing she could have done, but it had little to do with the good news.
Adirake passed her a tissue.
