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Charley utilized the weekend and the remaining two days of her vacation getting Kinsley ready to go back to school. When classes resumed on August tenth, her baby would be a sophomore, and two days later Kinsley would turn fifteen. So many milestones would be crossed in the next twelve months. Kinsley would get her learner’s permit, and just a few months later she’d be old enough to date. Dating meant possibly finding the young man who would eventually take her away from them, and then... Charley applied the brakes to her runaway thoughts, wishing, not for the first time, that she could slow time down, just a little. She put that notion away as well. It hadn’t worked when Kinsley was an infant, and now in a blink of time, the infant was a young lady. Wasting the next blink on the impossible didn’t seem like a good idea.
Three days of shopping with a day of worship thrown in for good measure proved to be an effective antidote for the worries that were never far from her mind. Pending test results, secrets that needed sharing, and residual worry about her job faded under the small moments of joy spent bonding with her daughter over fancy lunches, makeup counters, and shoe racks. She might miss the infant Kinsley, but spending time with the almost adult version had a few perks she could get used to.
By the time Charley climbed the stairs to the exercise room at Soeurs on Wednesday morning, every part of her mind was in a better place. That was a very good thing. She’d need every single wit about her if she expected to pass muster with Chief Black this morning.
Her phone rang about halfway up the flight of stairs. When she pulled it free to look at the small screen, anxiety sent her mood teetering back towards the dark side. Dr. Gibson. Her feet froze in place, and apprehension hollowed out the pit of her stomach.
“Hello.”
“Mrs. Hubbard?”
“Yes.”
“This is Tricia from Dr. Gibson’s office. He asked me to call and let you know that Kinsley’s test results all came back negative.”
Charley’s knees went weak. She braced her back against the wall and slid to sit on the step. Her free hand shook when she lowered her head into it. My baby is fine...she’s fine. For a moment it was all she could do to breathe. Thank You, Father. Thank You.
“Mrs. Hubbard?”
Charley’s head came up. “I’m here.”
“Per your instructions, we’ll forward all of the test results to Dr. Williams in Houston. Did you have any questions for us?”
“No. You guys were wonderful. Thanks so much for calling.”
“My pleasure.”
The phone went dead in Charley’s hand. She stared at it for several seconds before her brain kicked into gear. She stabbed Jason’s number on the speed dial. He was coming off a couple of late nights and was probably already asleep, but she’d wake him up for this.
“Umm...”
“She’s fine!”
“Babe?”
Charley’s words came out in a rush. “Jason, wake up. The doctor’s office just called. All of Kinsley’s test came back. She’s fine.”
“Whoa, you’re blubbering. Take a breath.”
Blubbering? Charley touched her free hand to her cheek and it came away wet. Who cares? But she took a breath before she continued. “Kinsley’s doctor just called. She does not have Melissa’s disease.”
“Praise God.”
“Yes, Praise God. I thanked Him before I called you. Now get some sleep. I’ll swing by the store tonight and pick up some steaks. You can grill, and we can celebrate.”
“With this news under my belt, I’ll sleep like a baby. I love you, Charley.”
“I love you too.” She swiped the call closed, leaned her head against the wall, and gave in to tears of gratitude and relief.
“Charley!” Feet pounded up the steps drowning out the echo of the word.
“Oh, honey.” Alex crouched beside her.
“What’s wrong?” Syd asked.
“Let’s get her upstairs,” Jesse said.
Charley looked up into the concerned faces of her friends and giggled out loud. When their concern turned to confusion, she hurried to reassure them. “Happy tears.”
Mac came into view at the base of the stairs. “What...?”
Randy silenced her with a wave. “I think we’re about to find out.”
Charley stood, and her friends shifted in the cramped space to give her some room. “I have news, but Jesse was right. Let’s get out of the stairwell.” They finished the climb and spilled into the exercise room. Mac came through last, and Charley closed the door behind her, meeting five inquisitive expressions.
She held up her phone. “Kinsley just got a clean bill of health. I’m sorry if I scared you guys, but the news...it knocked the props out from under me. It’s what I was hoping...praying for. I just...”
“‘Hope deferred maketh the heart sick; but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.’” Alex grinned. “I’m guessing the branches of that tree swept you right off your feet.”
Charley felt her eyes fill again. “Something like that. God’s goodness never gets old.”
Jesse motioned to gather the group into a circle.
“What are we doing?” Randy asked as she took a step closer.
Jesse used her right index finger to shove her glasses up on her nose. “Well, we prayed, and God provided. Don’t you think He deserves a thank you?”
“With sprinkles on top,” Charley agreed and held out her hands.
The room grew quiet as they bowed their heads.
“Father, You are amazing,” Jesse began. “The way You care for us takes my breath away every single day.”
Somebody whispered an, “Amen.”
Jesse continued, “Thank You is all we have to offer in return, and sometimes that seems so inadequate. Father, continue to guide this situation to Your desired end for everyone concerned.”
Charley opened her eyes as amens whispered around her. “Thanks guys. I can’t tell you how much your prayers and support have meant over the last few days. I don’t know what people do who don’t have people.”
“We love you,” Jesse said. “And you’d do the same for us.”
“Have done,” Mac added with a smile.
“So what happens now?” Randy asked. “Will you be contacting Melissa?”
“Not right away. I gave Kinsley’s doctor permission to share the findings with Melissa’s doctor. There’s no reason for me...us, to be involved as far as the medical issues go, but...”
“The adoption?” Alex asked.
Charley slumped. “Yeah, that. I feel like that mythical character with a sword hanging over his head.”
“Damocles,” Syd provided.
Charley frowned at the newest member of their group. “Yeah, him. Anyway there’s a lot to think about, and time isn’t on my side.”
***
MELISSA HELD THE PHONE close to her ear and listened to her doctor while trying to ignore Keith as he hovered at her elbow like a pilot fish next to a shark. She received the news that Kinsley didn’t carry the disease with a rush of relief. Thank You, Jesus!
Keith tapped her shoulder. When she glanced at him, he mouthed words.
Ask him.
Melissa rubbed at the space between her brows. As much as she loved her husband, his persistence was driving her a little crazy. She turned and paced a few steps away. Her shadow followed. She gave in to his request with a sigh. “Were you able to determine if she’d be a good donor?”
“She probably would be when the time is right. We’d need a few more tests, but from what I see here, it’s certainly worth pursuing. I can relay the request for those tests back to Dr. Gibson if you’d like.”
Melissa looked at Keith from the corner of her eye. “I’ll need to get back to you about that.” She thanked the doctor and ended the call.
“Well?”
Oh, how she wished she could halt his determined crusade with a lie. “Dr. Williams thinks Kinsley would probably be a good match if we decide to go that route.”
“If?”
Melissa swung away and crossed the living room. The sun streaming through the east windows illuminated the sheen of dust on top of the entertainment center. I knew it was a mistake to go with the black. She swiped a finger through the powdery coating in disgust before turning to face Keith. “I’ve told you all along that I don’t know how I feel about this.”
“What’s to feel other than relief? If the situation were reversed and your friend had come to you because her daughter needed your help, would you have turned her away?”
“Of course not.”
“Then what’s the difference?” Keith closed the distance between them, took her hands in his and held them to his chest. “It’s not like you’re asking her to sacrifice her life for yours. You can both live happy, productive lives with one kidney. And living is the point, isn’t it? She lives either way, but without her help...” He squeezed her hands and waited until she looked up. “Without a transplant, you won’t.”
“I wish it were that black and white for me, but it isn’t. Kinsley has parents who love her, parents I pretty much handpicked. They’ve built the life together that I knew they would. If I do what you’re suggesting, if I insinuate myself into that mix, I’ll disrupt everything that child has known for almost fifteen years.”
“And she’ll have the rest of her life to get over it.” Keith let go of Melissa’s hands and cupped her face. “You need to see beyond the moment, Melissa.”
She pulled away as irritation with Keith mounted. “Help that’s three years down the road is no help. Why are we having this conversation again?”
“Hope,” he said, reclaiming her hands. “That’s why we’re talking about it, again. Hope. Live donors under the age of eighteen are rare, but they’re out there. Under the right circumstances, with the proper consents, exceptions can be...have been...made. But we can’t even explore the option if you won’t ask the question.”
Melissa closed her eyes in the face of his persistence.
“Do you love me?” Keith asked.
“You know I do.”
“Then don’t make me live without you.”
Melissa stared into his desperate eyes, eyes lined with stress and fear. The sight sliced at her resolve. Father, I don’t know what to do.
Keith clasped their joined hands to his heart. “If you can’t make this decision for you, then make it for me.” He crushed her to him in a mighty hug. “I won’t be able to survive alone if I don’t know we did everything we could do. Can’t you understand that?”
“I do, sweetheart. I just...I just need some time, OK? Let me have the weekend to pray about it.”
His shoulders shook with sobs as he held her, and Melissa’s eyes filled. How could she hurt this man who loved her so much? How could she ask so much from the daughter she’d given away?
There were no good options.
***
CHARLEY SIPPED ICED tea on the back patio and allowed the early August evening to slip around her like warm water. She stretched out on her side of the padded double chaise and crossed her ankles. All that remained of their celebration meal was the aroma of charcoaled steaks still wafting from the grill and a few dirty dishes she was doing her best to ignore.
Kinsley, completely unaware of the bullet she’d dodged, had scarfed down her steak and skipped out with a few friends to take advantage of a back-to-school night at the local mall. Apparently an indoor sidewalk sale, a half-priced late movie complete with snacks for all with a student ID, followed by a slumber party at Emma’s trumped an evening with her parents.
Charley could live with that. It was so wonderful to release the stress of the last few days, to enjoy a few hours of not thinking about the problem that still remained. She closed her eyes and smiled when the cushion beside her shifted under Jason’s weight. If she tried hard enough, she could probably come up with an idea or two on how she and her husband could pass the time in an empty house.
She snuggled close. “Dinner was awesome. Your talent with hot coals and a hunk of meat never ceases to amaze me.”
He laced his fingers with hers and lifted her hand to his lips. “Always my pleasure.”
Silence soft as the evening dusk surrounded them. Charley uncrossed her feet and rubbed her bare foot along Jason’s leg. “Why don’t we—?”
“We need—”
Charley laughed as she continued to run her foot in a slow course from his ankle to his knee in a thinly veiled suggestion. “You cooked, so you go first.”
Jason groaned. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret your generosity.” He turned onto his side so that he could look at her. “We need to talk about Kinsley. We have to make some decisions.”
The steak dinner in Charley’s stomach began a nervous dance, and the catch in her breath had nothing to do with Jason’s nearness. The blissful peace of a few moments ago evaporated into the night air. Not tonight. How many not tonights could she stack on top of each other before the wall around her secrets was rebuilt and her world was normal once again?
She’d never used sex as a weapon, but there was a first time for everything. All’s fair. She shifted to her side in a slow, languid move and fingered the buttons of her husband’s shirt. She leaned in until her lips were just a breath from his. “I think I’ll rescind my offer. We’ve more important things to do than talk.”
Jason grabbed her wrist. “Charley.”
She silenced him with her lips, breathing in his scent, pouring her desire to postpone the inevitable into the kiss. She smiled when she lifted her head. “Come into the house with me.” Even in the dusky light she could see the desire on Jason’s face. She also saw determination.
“Putting this off is not going to make it any easier.” His tone was cajoling, reasonable. “We’ll both sleep better once we hash this out.”
His calm delivery sent her temper boiling to a critical level. Charley yanked her hand free and rolled to her feet. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at him. “That is so easy for you to say.”
“Easy...” He got to his own feet and stared at her from across the chaise. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m not stupid, Jason. I know what we have to do. I’m real sorry if my foot dragging is making you impatient. But you’re not the one in danger of being replaced.” There, she’d said it. She’d finally voiced her greatest fear. Instead of bringing relief, it sent tears streaming down her face. The salt of those tears seasoned her tirade. “I expected understanding from you. I guess that was a little too much to ask.”
Triggered by the rapidly gathering dusk, the automatic lighting flicked on and gave Charley a clear view of her husband’s face. She read hurt and confusion. Well, join the crowd.
“What are you talking about?” he asked again.
Charley threw a hand into the air, turned away, and paced the length of the patio. How could he not get this? She faced him with her hands fisted at her waist. “Who is Kinsley’s father?”
“Me,” Jason answered without hesitation.
“That’s right, you. You are the only father Kinsley will ever have. Who is Kinsley’s mother?”
“You...” The word trailed.
“Not so cut-and-dried, is it?”
“You will always be Kinsley’s mother,” he said.
“Right up until the day we tell our daughter that she’s adopted, then I cease to exist in favor of the newer, unexplored model.” The hurt and confusion on Jason’s face turned to sympathy. The sympathy was ten times worse.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He hurried to her and took her hands in his. “That’s not the way it works.”
“How do you know? Have you done this before?”
“No, but I apparently have more confidence in our daughter than you do.” He cupped her chin in his hand. “You are her mother. You might not have carried her in your body, but you’ve raised her, you’ve taught her, you have a history with her that Melissa will never have. Kinsley loves you. Telling her the truth is not going to change any of that.” He studied Charley’s face. “What happened between now and last week when you agreed that it was time to tell her the truth?”
Charley pulled away, prepared to play her final card. “What if Melissa doesn’t want this? Have you thought about that? She’s never expressed a desire to know Kinsley.”
Jason crossed his arms, his posture telegraphing an authority he rarely had to use in their home. “I’m not concerned with Melissa’s wants, only what’s right for Kinsley. Knowing Melissa or not needs to be Kinsley’s choice. She might resent the truth for a while, but how do you think she’ll feel if Melissa dies without us giving her the opportunity to choose?”
Charley met his stare. “You’re right, but it doesn’t make it less scary. Losing Kinsley is my worst nightmare. I’m so afraid she’s going to hate me, that she’ll find a connection to Melissa that she’s never had with me. What if—?”
“Shhh...” Jason wrapped her in an embrace. “Father, no one understands adoption better than You because You have adopted each of us into Your family, and You love us unconditionally, the same way we love Kinsley. What we have to do is a hard thing. Calm Charley’s fears. Give her...give both of us...the courage to do the right thing and the words to do it correctly. Work in Kinsley’s life as well. You can give her a heart that understands the love that went into this decision fifteen years ago, Charley’s, mine, and Melissa’s. We’ve only wanted what was best for her, and You want what’s best for each of us. Help us find that.”
Charley clung to him and allowed her tears to soak his shirt while she cried out her fear. Father, what he said. Please give me the strength to find and follow Your plan.
“Better?” he asked once the crying turned to sniffles.
I don’t deserve this man. She nodded into his soggy chest. “I’m sorry.”
“None of that. If I had all that worry on my shoulders, I’d probably crack too.”
Charley took a step back. “One thing?”
“What’s that?”
“I know we have to tell her, I’m not trying to wiggle out of that.”
Much.
“But it’s August second. School starts in a few days, and her birthday is right there behind that. Can we wait until after her party? Even if she doesn’t hate us”—me, she swallowed—“it’s still going to be a shock, and I don’t want her blindsided right before school or moping during her party.”
His expression grew thoughtful. “I hadn’t thought about that, but you’re right. That gives us some time to decide how and where. Tomorrow or ten days, one’s as good as the other.” He put his hands on her shoulders and waited until she looked up. “But we make a pact now. We tell her on August thirteenth.”
Charley pulled in a deep breath, swallowed the dread and hoped for inspiration. “Deal.”