18.

My hair shone, eyes sparkled and I smelled incredible (perhaps a little too incredible, as I’d doused myself in perfume instead of spritzing as Sia had encouraged). Steph had shown me how to re-create the gorgeous, wavy hairstyle from my birthday night and she was right, it had been easy to do. I pinned the last strand of hair and secured the fishtail braid. Perfect. My dress was new: I’d braved the shops with Kat again and she’d helped me pick out a dusty blue cap-sleeved number that was on sale. A touch of cherry lip gloss finished my outfit. I’d never felt better — and it was only fifty per cent to do with making James fall desperately in love with me.

‘Josie, are you here?’ I heard him call out from the hallway.

‘Yep, in the bathroom,’ I said, before realising that sounded a little wrong. ‘Like, I’m in the bathroom, but not innnn the bathroom, if you need to come in. I mean, I’m not on anything or using anything or doing anything, if you know what I mean?’

Of course he knew what I meant. The dead ants on the balcony knew what I meant. Moments like this certainly encouraged the idea of sewing my lips together.

When James popped his head in, I was coating on an extra layer of bronzer.

‘Jose …’ he started, then, when he saw my face, ‘Whoa! What’s with the tandoori tan?’

‘Oh, you know, just adding a healthy glow.’ I paused. ‘I look like a lobster, don’t I?’

He grinned. ‘Little bit. Just wipe some of it off and you’ll look great.’

My cheeks flushed. Or maybe that was still the bronzer. ‘Thanks.’

I searched his face for any sign of distress after the breakup, but there were no visible tear stains or puffed eyes.

‘So, ah, Steph told me things have been pretty hectic for you at home and at Sash,’ said James.

‘Yeah.’ Hectic was one way to put it. Jaw-droppingly nuts was another.

‘I’m here if you need to, you know, talk about anything.’

I shrugged. ‘Thanks, but there’s nothing to tell, really.’

As much as I wanted to spend time with James, I didn’t want my roller-coaster life to be the sole focus of our friendship. Instead, I would’ve rather talked about how much he wanted to rip my bra off, or something equally X-rated.

‘Okay, if you’re sure.’ He smiled and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. ‘So what else is happening? Keeping busy?’

‘Does trying to stop Mum from tearing her hair out count?’

‘You bet.’ James tilted his head to one side. It was a seemingly innocent movement, but his eyes staring into mine pushed every logical thought from my brain.

‘I, ah, I actually heard a little something about you,’ I started.

The words hung in the air. There was no going back.

‘Yeah? What’s that? Oh, did Tim tell you I’m scoring the music for a mate’s short film?’

‘No! That’s huge.’

‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘After our chat I started thinking, so I put some feelers out and one thing led to another … Anyway! What’s the thing you heard about me?’

‘Um. Never mind,’ I said, rubbing away some more bronzer to avoid eye contact. ‘Awesome news for you. Very impressive and well-deserved —’

‘Jose, what did you hear?’

I stopped, unsure how to continue. This was my chance, my moment — I just never pictured it would take place in a bathroom at eight in the morning. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a niggly voice reminded me that this probably wasn’t the best idea. But then I remembered the hot, smart, nice girls lurking in my imagination, waiting to swoop.

‘I heard you and Summer broke up,’ I said. ‘Steph told me.’

‘Oh, that. Well —’

‘James,’ I butted in. The words were flooding out whether I wanted them to or not. ‘You probably already know this, but I’m going to tell you anyway.’

‘Okay …’

‘Well, you know how some people meet each other and it’s like … like peanut butter and honey? It just works.’

‘I never really liked peanut butter,’ said James, wrinkling his nose. ‘It’s so sludgy.’

‘You don’t like peanut butter? Okay, not the point. You know how some people fit together perfectly? Like Minnie and Mickey.’

James grinned. ‘You mean the talking mice?’

‘Bad example. Okay, okay … like Batman and Robin? Those dudes can’t stay away from each other.’

‘What are you trying to say?’

‘Argh! Forget the rodents, forget the superhero bromance! Think of two things that work together … like noughts and crosses, or peas and corn —’

‘You know, I’m more of a peas and carrots kinda guy.’

‘Just … shut up for a sec!’

‘Excuse me?’

‘I like you,’ I blurted out. ‘I’ve liked you for ages.’

My breathy sentiment rang out loud and clear, almost echoing off the tiles as I waited for James’s response. You know those movie scenes where two people profess their undying love and it ends with them tearing each other’s clothes off? Well, that didn’t happen.

‘Jose,’ James said, ‘the thing is —’

His phone rang, loud, shrill and dominating. He looked at the number.

‘Look, I hate to do this right now, but I’d better take it. I’m so sorry. We’ll talk soon, okay? I promise.’ He patted me on the shoulder and left the bathroom. Even though he’d shut the door behind him, I heard him say, ‘Hey, Summer’.

I glared in the mirror at my made-up face, now ruined by a stream of hot tears. Some were fuelled by embarrassment, others by the fact that the hottest, smartest, nicest guy I’d ever met was walking away to chat with another girl. The girl he was meant to have broken up with.

What had he been about to say before he was interrupted? I couldn’t believe he’d walked out, leaving me to drive myself batty attempting to decode the rest of the sentence. Was it: (a) ‘Jose, the thing is … I’m about to start the physically and emotionally draining process of becoming a woman; (b) ‘Jose, the thing is … I’m in love with you. I want to get your name tattooed on my left bicep; or (c) ‘Jose, the thing is … Summer and I are back together. She’s the one for me, we have amazing sex four times a day and I want to be the father of her children.’

Bingo. That was it. They were back together. Of course. It made sense. Moments after I’d confessed how I felt, Summer had called and he’d run away faster than an Olympic sprinter with a rocket strapped to his butt.

Annoyed for throwing myself at James (okay, so my glamorous look had been about eighty-nine per cent for him), I wiped off the extra bronzer, repinned my flashy hairstyle and slicked on an extra coat of lip gloss. If James wanted to waste time with Summer, that was his choice. I just didn’t want to know anything about it (especially if my prediction of amazing sex was true). I grabbed my jacket and slipped out the door without saying goodbye. I was braced for another day at Sash and I wasn’t going to let a guy — albeit a hot, smart, nice guy — cloud my judgement and ruin my chances of winning the internship prize ever again.

When I arrived at Sash HQ, Liani’s office blinds were pulled across but not fully closed. I could see her chatting on the phone, her hand over the receiver. I couldn’t make out much, only a faint ‘Yes, I agree’, ‘You really think so?’ and ‘Sounds great’, which could have meant anything from ‘Yes, let’s have butter chicken for dinner tonight’ to ‘I’d love to come to your music launch’.

Not wanting to interrupt her, I walked back to reception to wait on the couch. Rae’s office door was closed and the blinds were drawn. The rest of the team were working in silence. It was so quiet I could hear the sharp clicking of the art department’s fan and the tapping of manicured fingernails on computer keyboards. A quick glance into the features department showed Esmeralda and two others typing madly. Eloise had earphones in and was watching a TV episode. I couldn’t believe she was paid to stay up-to-date with all things entertainment. A job where you could write and watch TV? Hello, dream career.

‘Josie, how are you, sweetie?’ a sweet, silky voice said.

I looked up to see the gorgeous Sia beaming down at me. Her hair was pulled back into a chunky side braid and her generous lips were sparkling with a bright coral lipstick.

‘Nice braid, Sia.’

‘You too,’ she said, stepping in for a closer look at my new hairstyle. ‘Someone’s been hitting up Beauty DIY School. I’m impressed. Did you check out that website I showed you?’

I was about to tell her that Steph had taught me when Rae’s blinds pelted open, her office door swung out wide and she strutted out into the main office. ‘Everyone. Meeting!’ she announced to the room. ‘Yes, yes, I know it wasn’t in the calendar. Can someone grab the fashion girls from their department? Oh, interns, feel free to sit and watch. This will be a good opportunity to see how things work behind the scenes. Has anyone seen my big purple planning book? Someone get Liani, now!’

The team assembled themselves in a circle, some trudging to their seats, other gliding with the gracefulness of ballerinas. I took a seat on the opposite side to Rae, between Sia and another girl with a friendly, freckly face who I hadn’t met.

Steph plonked down across from me, wearing a leopard-print jersey dress. ‘Oops, running late,’ she mouthed. ‘What’s going on?’

I shrugged. ‘Don’t know.’

The queen of making an entrance, Ava stalked into the circle in her purple stilettos, then perched next to Rae, her slim frame upright as always. She linked her slender hands, then unlinked them, then linked them again. This drew attention to the three rings on her fingers today: a large green emerald stone, a thin gold band and a black rock-chick ring. Her diamond engagement ring must’ve still been getting cleaned.

Liani rushed out of her office to join the meeting, looking flushed after her phone call. Rae glared at her, as though it mattered she was five seconds later than everyone else. All thoughts of Ava’s missing ring and James getting back with Summer disappeared as I waited for Rae to speak.

She began by telling everyone they needed to address Sash’s strengths and weaknesses and find room for improvement, then asked the team to brainstorm ideas on the spot. One girl’s suggestion of a scratch ’n’ sniff nude male poster was scoffed at, and Gen’s pitch for a fashion shoot shot in Egypt was dismissed as a direct copy from Marilyn magazine. Esmeralda’s idea for a competition to discover the country’s hottest new blogger was a winner, as was Eloise’s pitch for an ‘Inside My Handbag’ feature on five of the country’s hottest stars. The meeting went on for almost two hours and Liani took notes throughout. By the end, her pad was filled with scrawled ideas and our stomachs were grumbling in sync.

‘Finally, I want to bring some closure to the matter that’s been haunting us in the media for the past few weeks,’ Rae said. ‘Billy’s alleged affair.’

Steph rolled her eyes and fake-yawned. I wanted to hug her for that. Every other foundation-clad, designer-wearing magazine girl in the circle looked at me. How do they know, I wondered, as I avoided eye contact — even with Steph and Liani — and focused on a marketing poster to the right of Rae’s head. As long as I focused on that poster I’d be okay.

‘The main reason Sash has been dragged into it,’ Rae continued, ‘is because Billy recently spoke to our magazine and declared he was a changed man. Obviously, that turned out to be a lie, but we have to live with it. Celebrities make mistakes like the rest of us, but it doesn’t stop readers from wanting more. They just can’t seem to get enough of this guy. In fact, on that note, I’d like to thank our hardworking intern Josie for the publicity.’

My jaw dropped and Sia squeezed my hand. Did Rae seriously out me to the entire Sash team as Billy’s nightclub pash? I waited to hear more before I ran out the door shouting ‘I slapped him away, I promise’.

‘Thanks to Josie’s exclusive interviews with Billy we’ve managed to maintain our circulation — just — in a very competitive market,’ Rae said, giving me a short, sharp nod. I forced a smile, relieved that Rae hadn’t revealed all. Although, based on the way everyone was staring at me, they seemed to know anyway.

‘But Billy’s light won’t shine forever, so we need to put on our thinking caps to predict the next hottest person, trends and icons,’ Rae went on. ‘Yes, even more than we already have been. I want everyone moving onwards and upwards, and thinking outside the square. Enough of the copycat ideas or the been-there-done-thats. I want fresh ideas and so do our readers.’

Everyone was scribbling madly in their notebooks.

‘Advertisers are playing hardball at the moment so we’ve got to create reasons to get them paying up,’ she continued. ‘A big month awaits us — a huge one — and I need everyone giving a hundred and ten per cent. That’s it from me. Do you have anything to add, Liani?’

‘Just keep working hard, everyone, we appreciate it,’ Liani said. ‘We’re in a tough market, that’s no secret, but, ah … look, if we’re stuck back late on deadline again, the dumplings are on me, okay? I’m thinking Shanghai-style ones — you know, with soup inside. Delicious.’

Everyone smiled. Typical Liani: she always knew how to brighten the mood with her down-to-earth sweetness.

‘Well, that’s it from us, guys,’ she said. ‘Thanks again, and we’ll let your brains stew on all that for a while.’

The team drew a silent, collective sigh of relief. I could tell from the awkward shuffling in seats and mass stomach rumbling that, like me, they were counting down the seconds to run to the bathroom, stretch their legs and get a bite to eat.

‘Okay, back to work, everyone,’ announced Rae with a small flick of her wrist. The boss had spoken.

The team packed up their belongings and headed to their desks, leaving me, Steph and Ava sitting there, unsure where we were needed.

Rae stalked over. ‘Josie, a quick word?’

‘Of course,’ I said, sounding like an overeager student keen to make amends. Which, in reality, I was.

I followed her into the office. The blinds stayed down and door remained ajar. Rae sat down in the chair behind her desk, so I walked toward the pouf.

‘Don’t bother — this will be quick,’ she said.

‘Okay …’ Hopefully painless, too, I thought. I fiddled with my bracelet, swallowed and glanced toward the door. Ava was now standing outside Rae’s office, flipping through a book.

Rae pursed her lips. ‘Josie, I wanted to say, don’t be alarmed if you see Billy around the building today.’

‘He’s here?’ I stammered. ‘Not that I care, I mean … I … great. That’s great. Brilliant news for the mag.’

‘Billy’s manager has paid a lot of money to use our studios, creative direction and photographers for a photo shoot — and, despite everything, all the history, it’s money we can’t refuse at this point.’

‘Oh, sure, that makes sense,’ I rambled. No, it didn’t. He was here? I wanted to scream. After everything he’d done!

‘The shoot was meant to be yesterday when, ah, you weren’t here, but his girlfriend’s morning sickness kicked in and he wanted to look after her, so it was moved to today.’

‘Oh.’ I lowered my head.

‘For reasons that you and I both know, I think it’s best if you avoid Studio 8B and stay busy up here. The girls have plenty for you to do while I’m keeping an eye on things over there.’

‘I can do that.’

‘Wonderful,’ Rae said. ‘That will be all.’

‘Okay, great.’

‘Close the door behind you.’

‘Thanks, Rae,’ I said, walking out in a daze.

‘Everything okay?’ a voice piped up.

I turned to see Ava. Her dress was tiny, but it still hung off her loosely and her eye make-up was dark and eerie, giving her a ghoulish appearance.

‘Ava, you scared me,’ I stammered, my heart still pounding after my conversation with Rae.

‘I didn’t realise I was so frightening,’ said Ava, her eyes widening. ‘Rae really rattled you in there, huh?’

I swallowed. ‘Sorry, I’m all good, it was … internship stuff, you know how it is.’

‘Sure, internship stuff,’ she replied, but judging by her tone she knew I was lying.

Yet again, life had found a new way to inject awkwardness into my world. Competitive interns, arrogant pop stars — what next? I didn’t dare think of anything specific in case it came true.

Keen to avoid any more uncomfortable moments in the office, I offered to do the features writers’ photocopying for them. It was a boring task and surely even I couldn’t stuff it up.