Like I said, when I tell people to go untouchable, they have all kinds of objections. But this! But that! Well, let’s talk about them.
The first but. The big but!
But what about emergencies?
Well, the short answer is that there never really are any. The long answer is that when Leslie asked me about emergencies, she didn’t love my rant about how back in the day nobody had cell phones and we were all unreachable at times. Our culture is so oriented to worst-case-scenario worrying that some people can no longer imagine not tracking their children’s cell phone locations or wondering how to reach a spouse if they fall off their bike. I say: Please. People need to chill. This fear-based, worry-oriented, what-if-disaster-strikes culture needs a cold bucket of water splashed on it quick. Our adrenal glands are fritzed out. We’re all on high alert. But I get that we’re in relationships, so when I started doing this, as a compromise to my wife, I told her that when I had an Untouchable Day, I’d open the door of my bulletproof car for an hour at lunchtime.
What happened when I did?
I came face-to-face with the whizzing bullets of seventeen text messages, dozens of urgent-sounding emails, endless robo-generated alerts and feeds—and precisely zero emergencies from my wife. So after a few months we stopped doing that and I just started telling her where I’d be. That gave her peace of mind that, if something happened, as a last resort she could call the place where I was working or simply drive over and find me. I’ve pulled off Untouchable Days for a couple of years now. Nothing horrible has ever happened, and Leslie and I have both grown more comfortable with zero contact throughout the day.
Next but!
But what about urgent meetings?
I have someone I need to talk to every day. I have a job where it’s very, very important that I’m always, always available. Okay! I hear you. You’re a doctor in the ER. You’re the assistant to the boss. I hear you. So the solution here is to start small. Try an Untouchable Lunch. One where you don’t eat with everybody in the cafeteria but you go for a long stroll. Or try an Untouchable Morning. Regardless of your role or position, you will gain much needed perspective, finally tackle a long-procrastinated project, or gain insight into a new way of working that convinces everybody else that your untouchable work times are valuable, too.
What’s a side benefit here? Well, in jobs where the team or group of people around you helps you get an Untouchable Lunch or Untouchable Morning, guess what? You get to pay back the favor and help cover them when they take one. Untouchable Days actually strengthen team bonds.
And the final but?
I really want people on my team to take Untouchable Days, but they have trouble disconnecting.
This is interesting and actually pretty common. This but is referring to people who answer emails on vacation. It sounds like servant leadership but it’s actually egotistical because they think they’re saying “I am a warrior for the team!” but what they’re actually saying is “I am so important that nobody can work without me!” and also “I am unable to come back with new thoughts and fresh ideas because I refuse to get out of the trenches!”
I did a study with a company called SimpliFlying where we tested the effects of mandatory vacations. We published the results in Harvard Business Review and found that creating penalties for contacting the office worked really well. Yes, we actually docked people’s paid vacation days if they contacted the office on their days off. So want your direct report to go untouchable? Tell them to leave their computer and cell phone at the office and tell them they’ll get dinged if they keep reaching out.
Remember: Untouchable Days are possible.
And vital.
Before I embraced Untouchable Days, I treaded water. I wrote articles, I gave speeches, I got things done. But something was missing. When I implemented Untouchable Days, magic happened. I danced sideways and backward. I did things I never thought I’d do! I wrote You Are Awesome, I wrote a new keynote speech, I drafted proposals for my next few books, and I started my 3 Books podcast.
We have to stick the twig in our own spokes.
We have to learn to turn down the noise and find little ponds of tranquillity where our thoughts can scramble and ferment and congeal in order to help us reflect and make sure we’re going the right way.
This is crucial to our own growth.
This is crucial to getting to awesome.
You know how I stick the twig in my own spokes and you know why I think there are real benefits to doing so. So you may be wondering, with a couple years of Untouchable Days under my belt, do I still go through all the work of carefully scheduling out and protecting and preserving one Untouchable Day every single week?
To be honest, the answer is no.
Now I schedule two.