Chapter Four
Lust
I want
them nude,
NOW !

There are a lot of attractive girls out there, and sometimes my mind wanders and I have unwanted fantasies about them. What can I do to curb the sexual thoughts I have about these girls?

The Bible says to take captive every thought. Even the apostle Paul said he had to bring every thought into submission of God’s perspective—which may be of some comfort to us as we wrestle through this maze of social development.

As you recognize that the beauty of the opposite sex is a gift from God, refrain from fantasy. The enemy wants to keep the battle a mental one. Usually we are weak on the mental battlefield because it’s easy to slip by keeping our thoughts to ourselves.

We would suggest prayer and Bible reading, and maybe adding some of your favorite Christian music to the mix. Music can transform your environment as well as your emotions. Also, as you can imagine, it’s difficult to fantasize while singing about the love of Jesus. If this doesn’t help, ask a guy that you trust to keep you accountable, really accountable.

It seems like sexual material is all around us in this culture. How do you flee from something that is everywhere you turn?

Dealing with the amount of sexually suggestive themes running through our culture can be problematic. Fighting those daily battles requires identifying the sources that tend to be the most tempting for you.

For example, let’s say the local magazine rack tends to be a distraction for you. Whenever you go to grab the latest issue of Guitar Player, you always find yourself grabbing a copy of this week’s Maxim magazine featuring “Ten Ways to Increase Your Sex Drive” and the special lingerie pin-up section. If you recognize that the magazine rack is a problem for you, then think of ways to avoid it. Get a subscription to Guitar Player so you never have to leave your house to buy the magazine.

Why do I still have trouble lusting over pictures and videos I’ve seen in the past?

Imagine your mind as a giant canvas. Everything you see, hear, or experience is painted on this canvas in your mind. You continue to see and experience “fl ashbacks” because these images have been etched into your conscience. These vivid images can only go away with God’s intervention.

In the New Testament, Paul urges that we should “renew our minds daily.” What he was saying is that we need to allow God’s paintbrushes to repaint our canvases with images of his perfect will for our lives. His artistic expression will redefine the images of our past defilements until our minds once again reflect the image of the pure hearts we seek.

When you are tempted to fantasize, ask God for help in that very moment. Don’t focus on the fantasy; focus on other things. Go do something or hang out with someone to get your mind off of it. If you only focus on not doing it, you will probably end up doing it.

I keep going back to the same sin—lust. I don’t know how to get rid of it or how to stop lusting. What should I do?

Lust always comes from a source, so the best practical advice we can give you is for you to think about and write out a list of everything that may cause you to lust. Then pray that God will plan ways to help you avoid or get rid of those areas of temptation.

For example, if computer porn is always tempting you, then you need to get rid of Internet access. Or if magazines, even the ones like Stuff or Maxim, make you distracted, then make a commitment to stay out of the magazine sections in stores. I know some of these suggestions may sound harsh, but if you truly want to live a lust-free life, then you must take drastic measures to stop things before they even begin.

Also, take some time to read 1 John. It specifically defines the issues with the lust of the fl esh and the lust of the eyes. These are root sins that produce horrible fruit. Both lusts can consume who you are and heavily influence your actions. In your case, they are forcing you into repetitious actions that you want to change.

I want to suggest that you reflect on a few more Scripture passages. Take a look at John 6:63; Romans 13:14; and 1 John 2:15-17. Dive into the Bible and allow it to flush out the sexual toxins that have poisoned you.

I want to do the right thing, but I always do what is wrong. Help me!

The apostle Paul knew exactly what you are talking about. Take a look at these words from Romans 7:16-17 (NLT ): “I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience shows that I agree that the law is good. But I can’t help myself, because it is sin inside me that makes me do these evil things.”

The first step is to confess your problem to God. You may have tried this before and it didn’t work, or maybe you’ve never mentioned it to God. First things first: Know that God loves and forgives you and wants to be in right relationship with you.

The second step is to confess it to someone else. Most people never do this. Porn is the “dirty little secret,” and that is why it will never go away. You can’t overcome an addiction to sin by yourself.

The third step is to clean it up! Take practical steps so you don’t return to doing the very thing that you hate. You know where your struggles happen and what you can do. Quit making excuses. Today is the day to be honest with yourself, honest with God, and honest with others.