thirty

Jenna

Jenna’s phone rang while she was still several steps away from her cabin. She hurried to open her door, fumbling and dropping her camera bag, though thankfully her camera still hung around her neck. She’d spent the morning shooting one of the artists, a painter who had set up his easel in the bow of a canoe and rowed it to the center of the lake so he could better observe the reflection of the trees’ canopy on the water.

Jenna was fascinated by his concentration, his determination to angle the canoe in just the right position to study the reflection and transpose it onto his canvas. She was so enthralled, in fact, that she hadn’t realized until now that she’d left her cell sitting on her kitchen counter instead of sticking it in the pocket of her bag before she left her cabin.

Once inside, she grabbed the phone without looking to see who was calling.

“Oh, Jenna dear. It’s Delores. It sounds like I caught you at a bad time.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” Jenna flopped down on the small love seat and kicked off her shoes. “I was just hurrying to get to the phone. How are you? It’s been a long time.”

“It has and I’m better now that I hear you’re okay. I started to worry when I didn’t see you and the girls back at your house. Are you still at the art retreat?”

“Yes, ma’am. And I’m sorry for not calling to let you know my plans changed.”

“It’s no worry. I would have called sooner, but I didn’t want to be a bother. Now, tell me all about it. What happened to make you stay longer?”

“Well, the first two weeks were hard. I wasn’t even sure why I’d come. But things started to pick up for me toward the end, and when my mentor offered me the chance to extend my stay, I took it. All the first two weeks did was tell me I needed to be here longer.” She ran her hand through her tangled curls, then grabbed a clip out of her bag and pulled her hair back, away from her face. “It’s been great, being able to focus on my work and really push myself to try some new things.”

“That’s wonderful. The time away must be a good thing. I know you miss your girls though. Are they still with your sister?”

“They are. They’re turning into little farm kids. But I do miss them.” She shifted in the love seat to lie with her legs hanging over the arm.

“I’m sure they miss you too. This is turning into a long trip. I’m glad things are going well for you there though.”

Jenna sighed and closed her eyes. She’d been focused on her work, adding quality shots to her portfolio and soaking up instruction from Gregory, but she hadn’t been able to shake the phone conversation with Ty. He was an honest and forthright man and she’d always appreciated that about him, but when the brutal honesty was directed at her, the words stung. She struggled to push his words away, but at the same time, maybe they were the exact ones she needed to hear.

“Hon?”

Delores’s voice was so concerned, so gentle, Jenna had to struggle to hold back tears. “You must have some kind of miracle phone powers.” She sat up and put her feet on the floor. Forced a small laugh. “I get terrible reception here, but your call came through with no trouble.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’s any kind of miracle. Just good timing. I’ve been thinking about you and figured one phone call wouldn’t disrupt your muses too much.”

Jenna smiled. “Is your computer close by? I’ll show you a little of what I’ve been working on.”

She gave Delores the address of her Etsy shop, then listened as Delores’s fingers tapped on her keyboard.

“I’ve almost got it . . . there.” She paused. “This is your work?”

“Some of it. I have a lot more to add, but I wanted to get my shop back up and running now that I’m shooting again.”

“These are beautiful. I’m impressed, though I’m not surprised. Those photos of Addie and Walsh on your living room wall told me you were talented, but I didn’t know you had all this in you.”

“I didn’t either, to be honest. But I’m building my portfolio to show more of a range of work. I’ve been researching jobs—event photographers, photo assistants. Just entry-level jobs right now. And I’ve applied for a few freelance positions. I know I won’t get them, but it’s good to get my name out there anyway. It’s hard to get picked up if no one knows who you are.”

“That all sounds wonderful. I’m curious though—now that you know what you can do, will coming back home to Nashville feel like small potatoes?”

Jenna laughed. “I don’t know about that, but it definitely would be hard to put the photography on the back burner again and go back to just making coffee. I don’t think I could do it. Not now.”

“But why would you need to? Women were born to multitask. You’re already a mother, a friend, a strong woman—a talented woman. You can work your job and raise your kids and do your photography too. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”

Jenna stood and paced the small cabin to have something to do, a way to relieve the anxious energy coursing through her limbs. “I don’t know.” She paused by her camera on the kitchen counter. When she’d first arrived, it had felt as mysterious to her as a book in another language. Now it was familiar, an extension of her own hands and fingers. According to Ty though, that familiarity—that gift—had come at a cost. “I don’t know. A better mother would have packed up by now and headed back home to her kids. It’s just . . . It feels like if I don’t do this now, I won’t get another chance.”

“I understand the feeling,” Delores said, her voice soft. “But you’re a fine mother and pursuing your dream is something you can do, no matter where you are. Even if you’re back home.”

Jenna thought of her little house full of blankets and Barbies. Her girls’ laughter, their feet pounding the floor. Her camera gathering dust on the shelf. She felt like a different person now—would her life back home be different too?

“You may be right. You’re usually right about most things.”

Delores laughed. “I wish Willard were around to hear you say that. Now, I have one more question. This is another subject entirely, but I’m curious. Have you spoken with that nice boy from the coffee shop since you’ve been gone?”

“Sam?” Her smile was involuntary. She thought of how he looked sitting across the table from her in the mornings. Brown hair a touch too long for a corporate job, button-down shirt rolled up to his elbows, charming grin.

“Yes, that’s the one. You were seeing him pretty much every day before you left, right? I’d imagine he’s pretty disappointed to be missing his dates with you.”

“They weren’t dates, they were just coffee. We texted a bit soon after I got here, but we haven’t talked since the last day I was in the shop. I’m sure he’s found someone else to have that cup of coffee with.”

“That’s too bad. From what you said about him, he sounded . . . sincere.”

“That’s a good way to describe him.”

“Trust me when I say in the long run, sincerity is a good quality to have in a man. Much better than those flashy bozos I see strutting down the street when I go out to get my hair done.”

Jenna laughed. “I’m not really in the market for a man, sincere or otherwise, but I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’ve said this to you before, dear, and I’ll say it one more time. You’re young and smart and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t make the mistake of thinking there’s only one road you can take, only one life you can live. You’ll figure out how to make the different parts of your life come together. I have all the faith in the world in you.”