Alice

‘Are you still enjoying your little holiday here, JP? I’d say it’s a laugh a minute, wha’, between your one who thinks she’s Princess Di reincarnated and that lad … what did he do when we came in, Sarge? Oh, yeah, he stuck his finger up his arse then asked you to smell it.’ Alice smiled, and shook her head like it was the funniest thing she’d encountered in an age. ‘Every time we come here it’s crazier than the last. It could actually drive you nuts, being a guest, I’d say.’

JP stared at the table.

‘They have problems,’ he said quietly.

‘We all have our problems, huh? You’ve had more than your fair share, we know that.’

JP had no reply this time, choosing instead to gaze at the white Formica table surface.

Alice studied the top of his head, the thick dark hair and furrowed forehead. He was so earnest looking for a man of thirty-two. Like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Every time she sat with him, she had the same thought. If you didn’t know what he’d done, you would feel a natural sympathy for him – somebody who had been through so much as a child and had continued to get the rough end of the stick into adulthood.

And yet he had a self-containment and assuredness that said he was incredibly mature. He’d refused to have his solicitor present for any of these meetings – even though the woman had done wonders for him – stressing that he only wanted to tell the truth. It was either stupidity or arrogance.

But it was working. Alice had heard the whispers from the press and even some of her fellow Guards, ill-informed nuggets of stupidity that would soon be traded as facts … if he keeps refusing legal aid, he must have nothing to hide. Idiots.

‘I was reading the report from your doctor again last night,’ she said. ‘You pretty much raised yourself, didn’t you? That must have been tough. Especially with no other family. Seamie and Betty were terrible parents. Seamie in particular, by the sounds of it. You know he got arrested a few years before he died for beating a man half to death in a bar brawl? Like father, like son, huh? Did he ever hit you, JP? I suppose he did. Drunks can be nasty like that.’

Carney shrugged. He started to pick at the torn skin around his nails.

Beside Alice, Gallagher sighed. Moody’s circular route to trying to provoke Carney was excruciating.

‘Seamie was messed up,’ JP said. ‘I lost contact when I moved out. He hit me, yeah. But I got away.’

Gallagher felt his DS tense.

Alice leaned back in her chair, casting the sergeant a quick glance. She’d noticed something when Carney spoke. A tiny flex in his jaw, a little tic in the eye.

It was the first time Alice had any kind of inkling that there was anything at work beneath the preternatural calm Carney projected.

The family route seemed to provoke a reaction in their suspect that they weren’t getting when they asked him about Harry McNamara.

‘We found Betty,’ she said, three little words that went off in the room like a bomb. ‘It’s interesting that you have her maiden name and not Seamie’s surname. Though I guess he wasn’t much of a father.’

JP looked up at her and Gallagher, eyes flashing from one to the other in shock.

He was like a child, Alice thought. An angry, bitter little boy, trapped in a man’s body.

‘W-where?’ he stuttered.

‘Sussex. She’s still alive. She has a new family. Betty Carney, mother to Sarah and Clare. Two women, mid-twenties. I saw a picture. Gorgeous. Blondes. So unlike you. Maybe she never wanted a boy. Maybe she’d always wanted girls.’

The colour, what little there was, drained from Carney’s face. He closed his eyes and hunched his shoulders, as though he couldn’t sustain the blow of the words. Alice felt sympathy then. She felt it and dismissed it. She was projecting, thinking of her own circumstances as a child, the tall, tubby, plain-looking, quiet nerd in among a gaggle of handsome, sporty, loud brothers … how her mother used to look at her peculiarly, like the stork had gone off sat nav and dropped her in their house by accident. Alice had started comfort eating when she was six, already feeling too ugly for that family.

‘Did you ever try to find Betty?’ Alice said, giving herself a little shake.

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s not how it should be,’ he said, voice low. ‘A child shouldn’t have to go looking for the mother who abandoned him. It was her coming to find us or nothing.’

‘Us?’

‘Seamie and me.’

‘Hm. Yeah. I can see that. It looks like she just went on and had a great life, while you were left stuck with your dad.’

JP flinched.

‘She had her reasons.’

How could he still love her? Alice wondered. She didn’t love her own mother, and the woman had never been that bad. She’d never abandoned her.

‘But still – to leave you?’ she said. ‘Her child? Sure, she probably had her reasons when she left. My colleagues say she was in and out of psychiatric institutions. Bipolar, apparently. But she got better. And instead of coming to get you, she went on to live the life of fucking Riley up the road with her new brood. She didn’t even offer to come over to see you when our colleagues contacted her. Didn’t want to know anything, or even speak to us.’

JP said nothing.

‘That’s very wrong, if you ask me,’ Alice said. ‘Isn’t it, Sarge?’

Gallagher nodded.

‘Disgraceful. I feel sorry for you, pal, if that’s what you got landed with for folks. It would make anybody angry at the world.’

‘Yeah,’ Alice said. ‘Especially when you see others who have it all, never having to cope with even a little bit of the shit you had growing up, and they don’t even appreciate it. There you are – no childhood, forced to take care of yourself as the adults fall apart around you, even leaving school early. You were probably sliding down a bad road. And then – somehow – all credit to you, JP, you straighten yourself out. After all the challenges put in front of you as a kid. Then, in the space of a year, your dad – your only family – dies, and you lose your job. You went through the mill and ended up on the shit heap again because the country has been ruined by bankers. It’s the pits, isn’t it, Sarge?’

‘Absolutely,’ Gallagher said. ‘I mean, when you’re watching the likes of that wanker McNamara on the telly, getting exonerated after what he got up to in his bank, and JP here is just trying to make an honest day’s living. Talk about a tale of two worlds. I can see why that would make you angry. I took another pay cut last year, and between you and me, son, I’d like to fucking kill Harry McNamara for what he and his cronies did. So I’m with you, JP.’ ‘Me too.’ Alice nodded. ‘But is that really the only reason you did it, JP? Because McNamara is a rich, selfish fuck who has it all and gets away with everything when you never get anything for free?’ ‘I didn’t know who he was,’ JP said, the mantra so familiar. ‘I keep telling you. It didn’t matter to me who I was hitting. I barely knew it was a man. I just wanted to smash something.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ Alice cast her eyes around the room, looking for inspiration. ‘You see, the thing is, JP, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you just wandered into that house and attacked the first person you saw. Why didn’t you hit his wife? If you just wanted to lash out at somebody, how come you had the presence of mind to only attack him and not her? She was just sitting on the chair like a useless fucking lump, watching while you battered her husband, and that didn’t irritate you? It irritates me and I wasn’t even there. I’d have smacked her just to get a reaction. But you didn’t touch her.’

Carney flinched as Alice barked the words, his hands trembling on the table. Tears welled in his eyes and his jaw quivered. It was the performance of the century, Alice conceded. As it stood, they were better off not putting him in front of a jury. He’d have them convinced in minutes.

‘And why that house? You had to walk through Dalkey village to get to the golf course. It was a Saturday night. There were people out drinking. You could have picked a fight with anyone. You could have gone into a pub and started a riot.’

She leaned across the table until her face was inches away from Carney’s.

‘I just don’t believe you, JP. You’re a liar.’

Carney backed further into his chair, his head hanging as she spat the words.

‘I don’t know,’ he muttered. ‘I don’t know why I went to their house, but if you think I belong in prison instead of here, I’ll say whatever you want me to.’

Alice clicked her tongue, sorely tempted to write out his confession for him. His words were right, but the tone was wrong. It was like he was playing at having emotions. It was utterly terrifying. She couldn’t imagine this man weeping for anybody.

She leaned forward, bringing her face as close as possible to his without actually touching him.

‘You did whisper in Harry’s ear, JP, didn’t you? Tell me, now – go on. What did you say?’

Carney met her eyes.

‘I didn’t,’ he said. ‘I told you already.’

Alice started to shake her head but then stopped when she realized he was still speaking.

‘But if I had, I just would have said sorry.’

Gallagher’s phone beeped and he pulled it out to read the message.

Alice didn’t have time to formulate a new line of attack. The sergeant elbowed her and showed her the screen.

She glanced down at the text, her eyes widening as she read it.

Holy shit.

Now it had all blown up.