Chapter
11
Julia watched him walk away. The big dumb ox had already forgotten all about kissing her.
So she would return the favor and forget about everything but that fossil.
She peeked over her shoulder. Imagine. She’d thought the cavern she got stuck in would take her a lifetime to research and write about. Now she found something else. It was a wonderful land.
She tried to quiet the pulse of pride that getting published would give her. No Julia-pig-osauria, but maybe the Gilliland Cavern.
She only followed Rafe because the horse sort of dragged her downhill.
Her whole attention was back on that fish fossil. She didn’t fully realize that until she walked into Rafe’s back.
“Hey, be careful.” He gave her a disgruntled look, and she noticed he had his gun drawn.
“What’s the matter? Did you see someone?” Julia gave herself a mental shake. She really should be looking around for slinking, rope-moving, tree-climbing lunatics, even if she would rather be riding for home to fetch her chisel.
“Stay between the horses.”
Looking to her right, she saw nothing but the steeply sloped side to this bowl. That was when she realized there could be other vents, other fossils. Suddenly she was very alert looking for cave entrances on the slope. More places to explore! If that helped her spot a lunatic, all the better.
As they reached the first clump of aspens, Rafe moved into them and looked around in all directions. “There’s a trail here that leads straight to the water. I can see where this grass has been bent.”
Julia looked at the grass. It just looked like grass to her. No bending except that it swayed in the wind.
She turned to study the trail they’d just come down and spotted a darkened area behind her, mostly concealed by aspens, below and off to the south of the cave they’d just come through.
“Rafe, look, behind the trees. Another cave.” Julia pointed to the barely visible opening. “We need to go look.”
“We need to check it out.”
Julia turned to look at Rafe to see him turning to her. He said, “We agree on something.”
“That’s a first. So let’s go. There could be more fossils.”
“He could be in there.” Rafe spoke at the same moment. He visibly relaxed and smiled.
“Why would you smile when we disagree?”
“I was just worried is all. Afraid you might be rubbing off on me. But now I see we still think different. It’s a relief.”
“I want to see if there are more fossils in that cave. We could find—”
“Julia, will you pay attention.” Rafe lowered his dark brows until they formed one straight line.
“To what?”
His broad shoulders seemed to slump as if he were bearing too much weight. “We aren’t going in there to check for fossils. A man who could have killed you might be in that cave. He could have a gun trained on us right now. Can you please pay attention to what’s important for just a few minutes?”
“Fossils are important.” Why couldn’t the man understand that?
He growled—clearly not understanding.
“Fine. I’ll be very alert and mindful of danger while I stay with you ahead of me and the horses on both sides. But what if danger comes from behind?” she asked with all the sarcasm she could muster.
“Overhead, too. Danger could come from overhead.” Rafe didn’t seem to get that he was being mocked.
Julia clamped her mouth shut and tagged along as he led his horse to the trees sheltering the cave opening. She glanced behind her and above her compulsively now, though there was nothing to see.
Once they gained the shelter of the trees, she sensed Rafe relax a bit. He positioned himself behind the most stout of the aspens and studied the cave.
Because he was right in front of her, blocking her view of the cave, Julia looked across the saddle of his horse into the valley.
“Oh, Rafe, look.” She rested a hand on his back.
Turning, he saw another opening. Much larger. Halfway up the south side of the caldera. Sunlight poured through it and the sky shone blue. A jumble of rocks and a heavy stand of trees had shielded it from their sight until now. There was a solid arch of stone over it, but it was a clear trail out.
“I wonder why no one has settled in here. I was already worried about driving my cattle through that narrow cave. Figured I could do it somehow, but it wouldn’t be easy. Instead we can go through that opening.”
“Maybe there isn’t a good way down.”
“Or maybe the trees are thick on the other side, too, and it’s hard to spot.” Turning to her, Rafe smiled. “We’ll check. We’ll explore this whole valley before we’re done.”
Since she agreed completely, all she did was smile back, though she did wonder, Before we’re done with what?
“Let’s see if this is a vent going all the way through or just a cave. This direction should lead back toward your place. I hope there’s one on the west side. That would cut a lot of time off the trip to Rawhide. Going around this mountain to town must have been a slow trip for your pa. Going straight through it, if there’s a passage, I’ll bet you’re mighty close. There’s a circuit rider who comes through. I wonder when he’ll be in Rawhide next?”
Rafe hadn’t talked much about going to church. She was glad to know he was a believer. “I’d love to hear some preaching. But we can’t go into town. Father said Rawhide is dangerous. Or no, wait, he just said that to excuse leaving us out here alone.” Shaking her head, one of her ridiculous red ringlets escaped from her braid and slapped her in the face. “I can’t keep track of all of Father’s lies.” She reached up to shove the coil away from her eyes, but Rafe beat her to it.
Their hands touched as he tucked her hair behind her ear. “You’re a beautiful woman. You know that, Julia?”
She didn’t know that. “I seem to remember you worrying that I might be sixty years old when you first found me and went to kissing me.”
“I got over that real quick, if you’ll remember.” He cupped her chin and took a kiss now, as if she’d asked for one.
“I do remember.” Julia really had to insist he stop kissing her. She’d never been kissed before Rafe, had never felt much interest in the activity. Had never expended a bit of effort avoiding men, since there were never any around. And now, the man was just taking a kiss any old time he wanted. She’d insist he stop it very, very soon. Not right now, but soon.
A snap drew her attention to the cave ahead of them. Julia looked past Rafe’s shoulder and saw a heavily bearded man poke his head out and spot them. She gasped.
“What is it?” Rafe turned around. The man vanished back into the cave.
“A man! Didn’t you see him?” Julia was talking to Rafe’s back.
“I saw him all right.” Rafe raced for the entrance.
Julia quickly lashed the horses to the aspen tree. They went to munching on the leaves and grass and she hurried after Rafe.
The cave swallowed Rafe. By the time Julia got to the dark entrance, he was gone. She took two steps inside and heard footsteps running away. A few more steps and she came to the first split in the tunnel. One seemed to go down at a steep slope. The noise came from that direction. Straight forward, in a nicely arched passageway about two feet over her head, was the best chance of passing through to the outside of the caldera. She might follow it and wind into the mountain and end up going down or up or sideways or nowhere in the pitch-darkness. And if the tunnel split off again, she might become hopelessly lost. She knew enough about exploring caverns to be very careful to mark her path and always have a lantern on hand. But she had none of the necessary equipment today.
Which way had Rafe gone? Which way had that bearded man gone? Now that the footsteps had faded, she wasn’t positive she’d heard them from the downslope tunnel.
Was that the man who had left her in Seth’s Cavern? Swallowing nervously, Julia prayed for guidance and wisdom, and absolutely no assurance came to her about which way she should go. That might well be a sign she should go nowhere.
Rafe would be upset if she followed. She would be very upset if something happened to him and she’d stayed behind. Staying would be the cautious thing to do, and Rafe seemed to be very much in favor of her being cautious. He had a gun. She was unarmed.
That wasn’t true. She was not unarmed. She had a small knife best suited to chiseling stone.
She looked back at the entrance to the caldera and that was when she saw it.
Another fossil.
This one of some strange creature she’d never quite imagined before. It looked like a bear maybe. A very large bear. Or a wolf. Or maybe a big cat.
Would God send a fossil to keep her from following Rafe into the bowels of the earth?
God might well do such a thing. She got her knife out of her boot and took a closer look at the strange beast. With a prayer for Rafe’s safety, and an afterthought of prayer for her own, she leaned closer to the fossil to try and decide where to start. Raising her knife, she felt her spirits lift to the sky.
She was so in love with this place, she felt like bursting into psalms of praise.
“I hate this place.”
Ethan chopped wood and muttered. He hunted and brought down a mule deer and muttered. He skinned the doe and started smoking the meat and muttered. He hauled water and muttered. All the muttering was about tending to a weeping woman, great with child, her overly friendly baby, and the fiery, bossy stepdaughter who went along with the package.
And doing it all right next door to that stupid, ugly, dangerous cavern.
He should have stayed in California.
“Ethan, Wendell’s awake. Can you help me feed him, please?” Audra Gilliland came around the cabin, belly first, and Ethan wished he’d have gone ahead and built on. Chopping and hunting and skinning and smoking and hauling weren’t enough. He needed something more to keep himself occupied—especially if it kept him away from the house. Even with all the work of tending this family he’d gotten stuck with, he had plenty of time to help with Wendell.
Too bad.
He’d’ve mounted up and ridden back to his own ranch, except his whole family . . . which these days was only Rafe . . . was over here.
Maybe he should try and get to know Steele a little better. Seemed like a good man. Then he could stay at the Kincaid place and not miss his brother much at all.
Turning the strips of venison hanging in the billowing smoke, he grabbed a roast and carried it with him into the cabin. “I can get this started cooking before we feed him if you want.”
Maggie cried from behind the bedroom door.
Ethan plunked the roast in the Dutch oven, poured some water over it, put on the lid and nestled it into the red hot coals to cook.
“Audra, keep the baby quiet and get in here!” Wendell was the lowest kind of snake that crawled on the earth. Unkind to women and children—worse, unkind to his own woman and child. He might as well slither along on his belly on the ground, he was so low-down. Only the fact that the man was so sick kept Ethan from teaching the old buzzard some manners.
Just as Ethan washed the blood off his hands, Audra came out of Maggie’s bedroom carrying the whimpering baby, looking distressed because of Wendell’s shouts.
Her eyes. She could stab him to death with them. She was so frail. With her delicate bones, fine blond hair, fair skin, far too pale, she reminded him of thistledown. Ready to blow away with one good puff of wind.
Every instinct he possessed told him to protect her, shelter her, set her like delicate china on a high shelf so she wouldn’t break. He’d bring her food. He’d care for her child. He’d carry her from place to place on a satin pillow.
He considered ramming his head into the wall of the house just to clear his thoughts.
“I really hate this place.”
“What did you say?” Audra blinked those beautiful, fragile, tearful blue eyes at him.
“I said, give me the baby while you see what he needs.” Ethan snagged the toddler from Audra’s arms. “If he needs something that takes both of us, Magpie here is gonna have to come whether Wendell wants her in there or not. I swear that man does more crying than the baby.”
“Thanks, Ethan.” Audra got a little flush of pink in her cheeks.
“If it’ll make you happy, I’m more than willing to say nasty things about Wendell full time.”
Audra smiled while Wendell called for help.
This was not an ideal marriage.
Ethan propped Maggie on his hip.
Audra went to Wendell. It was with some dim-witted amount of pride that Ethan got the fireplace stacked with kindling, a nice fire crackling to keep the meat roasting, all with a baby in his arms.
“I’m gettin’ good at this, aren’t I, Magpie?”
She bounced and grinned at him. He wasn’t all that thrilled to be acquiring the skill of doing chores with a baby in tow, but he had to admit he was learning the way of it.
The house was starting to have the smell of cooking meat when Audra came back out. “He’s asleep again.”
All that pretty pink was gone from her cheeks, and there was no smile to be seen anywhere. Her eyes looked haunted. Ethan had gotten the message that there was no grief in this household for the loss of Wendell the grouch, but that didn’t mean it was easy to watch a man die slowly.
“How is he?” Ethan shifted the baby away from the fire.
“Give her to me.” Audra relieved him of the toddler.
“Mamamama.” Maggie bounced and whacked Ethan in the face.
Their hands tangled together as they handed off the little girl. His got very gently pinned between the baby and Audra’s belly. A sudden jerk shocked a gasp out of Ethan, and he only stayed close because he was afraid he’d drop Maggie on her little head.
His gaze met Audra’s, and something strange happened inside him.
Deep inside.
Ethan didn’t let anything touch him inside. Caring deeply about someone was a good way to get your heart torn out.
“I . . . I felt the baby move.” Ethan couldn’t seem to block that tiny show of life from taking a grip on his heart.
He didn’t know what it meant. He didn’t understand how it could be true. But it was. That bit of life—well, not bit; she was getting close to having the baby after all—was in there. It was another person.
“That’s strange to have a baby inside you, isn’t it?” Ethan stayed right there, Maggie blocking him from getting any closer to Audra. He was surprised to find that bothered him.
“It doesn’t seem so strange.” Audra smiled. Her eyes were usually sad and tired. She was so fine-boned, he worried that she’d snap like a twig. But her eyes flashed blue and strong. Ethan felt every protective instinct roar to life inside him.
Ethan was only distantly aware of leaning down, slowly closing the distance between him and this delicate, beautiful princess of a woman. The one thought that echoed in his head was that she needed help. She needed him.
Maggie swatted him in the face again. It woke him from whatever madness had overtaken him.
Audra’s eyes widened with shock and confusion, and maybe a bit of dawning horror as she realized he’d almost kissed her. A married woman. And he saw clearly that she’d been fully prepared to kiss him back.
He’d have run screaming from the cabin if he wasn’t afraid he’d drop the little one. “Have you got her?”
Audra’s pretty blue eyes dropped to Maggie, and she nodded without speaking.
Ethan felt her hands tighten on her toddler, and he slipped his hands away from her—and her belly—and stepped well away from her—and her lips.
“I’m . . . uh . . . going to . . . uh . . . go. Somewhere.” Ethan forced himself to meet Audra’s eyes.
Lucky for him she was currently fascinated with straightening Maggie’s little dress.
“Hunting.” No, he’d just butchered a deer. But he was cooking it, slowly over a smoky fire, for hours. It didn’t need him to stand there watching. He hoped Audra didn’t know that. “You’ll be okay?”
Audra looked up. A bit of temper flashed in those pretty eyes. “Yes, I’ll be okay.”
Her cheeks were pink with embarrassment. Her dress was faded and worn. It looked like her two babies would be too much for her to bear. But she had gumption.
Ethan thought gumption was probably a mistake for Audra, who clearly needed to be careful with her fragile health. But for better or worse, she had it.
“You know, Ethan, sometimes it gets really old having everyone treat me like a delicate hothouse flower.”
Ethan suspected that was the absolute truth. “You seem upset. Why don’t you see if you can get Maggie to take a nap so you can lay down yourself for a few minutes? I think I’ll build you a rocking chair.”
A growl of frustration surprised Ethan. She sounded a little like a wounded mountain lion. Which was odd because she seemed more the baby-kitten type.
“I’m not weak! I’ve never been sick a day in my life.”
“You’re expecting a young ’un and you’ve got another to care for.” He spoke quietly, coaxing, not wanting her to get even more upset. “That’s a lot for any woman.”
“Stop talking like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m equal parts sickly, childlike, and stupid.” Her little pointed chin lifted in the most adorable expression of defiance.
“Well,” he said carefully, “I don’t think you’re stupid.”
“Just sickly and childlike, then?” The kittenish mountain lion was getting growly-er by the second.
“Not sick and you’re certainly no child.” He wouldn’t have almost kissed her if she’d been either. “I’d say more delicate and very young.”
“How old are you?”
Ethan hadn’t thought about his age in years. “I guess twenty-three? Maybe?” Ethan fished around for his smile. He always smiled. Just to make sure no one ever suspected he cared about anything.
“So am I. So, would you like to sit down, maybe take a nap? Let me go out and finish smoking the deer, then chop more wood so you can rest. After all, you’re very young.”
“I don’t need to rest.” He frowned and leaned forward, insulted.
“Well, neither do I.” She leaned right back toward him. “Yes, Maggie is a lot of work, but I’m managing nicely, thank you. Julia takes such good care of me, it’s a wonder she doesn’t tuck me in a crib at night and feed me baby food at mealtime.”
“Julia’s a bossy little thing, isn’t she?” A few of her orders still stung. But lucky for him, Ethan was used to being bossed around by Rafe.
The blue fire flashed in Audra’s eyes; then an unexpected laugh escaped from her pretty pink lips. “She certainly is. I love her. I love her more than anyone I’ve ever known. She’s my sister, my best friend, but if I’m not careful, she starts acting like my mother. I . . . I do need help. Or at least I’m very grateful for it. But I’m all right. I don’t need to be treated like you treat Maggie.”
“Maggie hits me about five times a day. I don’t treat you one bit like I treat her.”
“In some ways you do. Tell me, Ethan, how many women in the world have a toddler and a baby on the way?”
Ethan thought that was a dumb question. “You want me to try and guess?”
“I’ll tell you how many.” Audra took a step toward him, and he wished very badly that she’d stay far away. “Most of them. Pretty much all of them. Only the old ones—and they did it when they were younger, and the ones who are children themselves—and they’ll do it when they’re older. Spinsters don’t. That’s it. And most women end up married whether they like it or not. And none of those many, many mothers get to spend their lives sitting around.”
His mom did. Ethan’s main memory of his mom was of her sitting in a rocking chair, quiet, head down. Ethan realized Audra was close enough that it would be easy to fetch that kiss he’d almost taken from her.
Married. She’s married. Remember she’s married.
Not for long. Wendell doesn’t have much time left.
Doesn’t matter. For now the woman is married.
Later, then.
Later, definitely.
No, not later. Well, maybe later. No! Definitely not later, not ever.
One good crack of his head against the wall. Just one. Just to shut his thoughts off and figure out how to smile through this so she knew he didn’t care.
He couldn’t conjure the smile so he decided to run. Something else he was good at. “I’ll go finish smoking that deer and start tanning the hide. Then I’ll build you a rocking chair. You just take care of things in here by yourself.” He did his best to sound very uncaring about abandoning her. Let her know she was on her own.
She smiled.
“But call if you need anything, okay?”
Her smile twisted into a scowl. “I’ll be fine. But I will call, if I need your help. Now go.”
She was really cute when she was angry.
Ethan almost told her that.
He thought better of it and ran. He had things to do. He had to watch meat smoke. And he had to envy Rafe getting out of here.
He thought of Audra and suddenly wished he hated this place a whole lot more.