Farah lay curled up on the mattress, Amirah snuggled up against her belly. Ally stared at the two of them, praying she would be able to keep the promise she’d made to get them out. Her thoughts shifted to the man in the living room. It was time they talked. She sucked in a breath and knocked on the door, waiting for the masked Razaa to arrive.
The gun still sat in his waistband, and he moved aside to let her out. She stepped out of the room and looked over her shoulder at the sleeping pair. So much would happen by the next day, and she worried she’d never see them again. The door slammed shut as she watched. She scanned the empty living area. Shariff had not arrived yet.
“You may have more crying spells from her. She is a new mother, and there are a lot of hormones running through her body,” she said as he locked the door. “Then for husband to be killed, and she and Amirah to be locked away from the world, it is a lot for anyone to deal with.”
He put the keys in his pocket and nodded, his hand still resting on the gun in his waistband.
Ally reached to touch his masked face as he stepped away from her. “You don’t have to hide from me anymore. I know it’s you, Razaa.”
He stiffened but didn’t respond.
She smiled. “My sweet Razaa, who loved to eat ledus and play cricket.”
“I’m not your anything,” he snapped. “Back to the room.”
She headed to the other side of the house. “I know it’s you,” she said over her shoulder. “The way you walk. Your eyes. You’re my Razaa.”
“Don’t call me that,” he growled.
“What happened?” She didn’t have to fake the sadness in her voice. The question did make her sad for him. “The Razaa I knew was loyal and kind. He would never have hurt the people he loved.” She thought about the fourteen-year-old boy she once knew, not the seventeen-year-old stranger standing a foot away. “I used to be one of those people you loved. I’m hoping I still am.”
“You don’t know anything.” His words were spoken softly, but the pain in his voice cut her.
A tear rolled down her cheek. She paused at the entrance of the hallway that led to her room and leaned against the wall, staring at him. “True, I don’t know anything about what’s happened to you, but I do know how much you loved Amir and he, you. He was your hero. My heart can’t believe you would have killed him.”
He stared at the room down the pathway and didn’t respond.
She pointed at Farah’s door. “As for Farah, she was a big sister to you all those years. She sat beside you and took care of you even when you were sick. Why would you keep her and her baby locked away in here and make them hurt like this?”
“Nobody was supposed to get hurt,” he whispered.
“Then help her. She’s hurting.”
Red-rimmed eyes welling with emotion stared at her. “Who helped me when I hurt?”
“Who hurt you, Razaa?”
He laughed. “You.”
She nodded. “That’s why you hate me.” The weight of guilt had always sat heavy in her chest, and now that she knew they had been split up, the guilt consumed her. His words were intensifying the grip it had on her. “I’m sorry. I should have never left you and the boys.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. But you didn’t want us, and I have learned to accept the fact.”
“That’s not true, Razaa.”
“Stop. You asked, now you need to hear the answer so you can understand why I hate you.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks.
“I hate you for pretending to love us when you really didn’t. I hate you for tearing my family apart and ruining my life. But most of all, I hate you for killing our father.” He inched closer. His breath blew against her face when he spoke. “You see, I heard every word you said to Ayoub. You told him you killed Babba and how you were going to sell us, like we were animals. You never cared for us, so please don’t talk to me about love.”
She raised her hand to touch him, but he stepped away from it. “No, Razaa, it’s not what happened. I would have never sold you. Everything I did was to protect you.”
“So many lies.” He leaned against the wall across from her and shook his head. “If I ask you something, can you tell me the truth?”
She nodded her head. “Anything.”
“Did you even think once about me?” He pulled off his mask and tossed it on the floor. “And after you killed him and took everything, did you care how much I suffered while you lived your happy new life in America?”
Tears drenched her skin as she looked at him. A beard covered the cheeks of the man in front of her, but he was still the same boy she loved and risked her life for.
“Every single minute,” she whispered. Ally sucked in a breath. “Losing all of you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through.”
“Stop lying!”
She shook her head. “I’m not. What you think happened wasn’t true, Razaa. I wasn’t the one trying to sell you.”
He ran a hand through his thick black hair but didn’t argue.
“Sayeed trained you and your brothers so he could sell you off to the As-Sirat.”
Razaa rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately, he is not alive to explain your version of events to me.”
“He lied to you about so many things…”
“Stop it!” His fist slammed into the wall. “Go.” He pointed to the room at the end of the hallway. “I’ve heard enough.”
Ally stared at him and didn’t move. “Did he tell you what happened to Umber? Did he tell you he gave him to Ayoub as a gift?” She rushed through her words, willing him to hear them all. “He sent the poor boy into a mall with a backpack full of explosives. Your beloved father sent him to his death.”
He pulled the gun out from his waistband and waved it at the awaiting bedroom. “It’s time to go.”
But she didn’t move. “I know you don’t know who to believe,” she said. “And I know what you heard made me sound like a bad person, but you have a computer in the living room.”
“I can’t look at you. Go to the room now.”
She nodded and walked slowly into the room. “Go search the Egyptian mall bombing from three years ago and look for pictures of the bomber. It’s Umber.”
The door slammed shut before she finished. “His death was the reason I killed your father. I saw the picture of Umber on the news the day he died.” She pressed her hands against the wooden barrier and talked louder. “His face haunts me to this day. They put it all over the news and called him a terrorist, and all I saw was a scared little boy.”
She heard nothing but silence on the other side. “No matter what you think of me, Farah and her baby are innocent. Let them go. You have me. I’m the one who killed your Babba, not them.” She omitted the part of how it was Farah who actually filled Sayeed’s body with bullets. Regardless of the shooting, it was Ally who’d poisoned him. If anyone should claim responsibility for the man’s death and deal with the consequences, it would be her.
Something slammed against the wood she leaned against, the force of which pushed her head back.
“I’ve heard enough,” Razaa growled. His sneakers squeaked against the floor, and a few seconds later, the front door slammed shut.
She closed her eyes and prayed he’d believe her.