Chapter 11
New Plan
Kate was livid.
She felt completely flustered, both physically and emotionally. Somehow, she had gone from the frying pan to the fire and then from the fire to the furnace. She was sizzling with rage in a hot flash of fury. She needed to cool down before she overheated. She walked through the Bellagio Casino, allowing herself to take a brief second to enjoy the air-conditioned air. She could get out of this. She just needed a plan.
Kate always had a plan.
But Trevor had made it impossible for her to navigate this situation. He had all the power, and she had no choice but to play by his rules. No amount of crisis management experience could have prepared her for this.
It was a control freak’s worst nightmare.
Kate heard her phone ping and discovered several messages from the girls waiting for her.
The Four Lokos
Natalie: kate we’re at the bellagio buffet btw
Chloe: Siobhan is trying to earn her money back on the food lol
I’m not leaving until I’m in a food coma
Natalie: i bought fake eyebrows
chloe is putting them on me now
Chloe: Did Trevor sign the annulment?
Kate: There’s been a development . . .
Chloe: Oh?
Kate: I’ll explain everything in person
Siobhan: We already paid for your buffet pass. Don’t let the bastards charge you twice!
Kate: I’ll be there soon x
Natalie: hopefully there’s some food left when you get here
Siobhan: Bitch lol
Kate knew she needed to debrief the girls on the latest development as soon as possible. But first things first.
She needed to call Norman.
Her heart was in her mouth as her finger hovered over his name in her contacts list. He was going to have a conniption, that much she knew. But how on earth was she going to tell him that she had to extend her hen party for a few more days? He had been irked enough by her going for just two nights. He would surely be distraught.
She called his number and walked towards a quiet corner in the lobby, or at least quiet by Vegas standards. It was time to face the music. She couldn’t keep him waiting any longer.
‘KATE!’ Norman answered. ‘WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?’
Just as she had expected. Distraught.
‘Normie, I’m so sorry,’ she said, trying to calm him down. ‘I had no signal, but I promise you there’s nothing to worry about.’
‘Nothing to worry about?’ Norman yelled. ‘I thought you were dead! I was just about to call the police!’
‘I know, I know. We ended up having a wilder night than expected. But everything is fine!’ She was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince him. Everything was the opposite of fine. But she had to keep it together. The train was on fire, but it hadn’t yet derailed.
‘Kate, that’s not really much of an explanation. I’ve been up the walls all day and you’re telling me everything is fine!’
‘We just had a lot to drink, and the casinos don’t have any windows or clocks so we lost track of time. It’s actually very unethical how they do that.’
‘Don’t blame the casinos, Kate. It’s obvious whose fault it is. I knew those girls would try and get you drunk. All they want is to see you make a fool of yourself,’ Norman said. His tone hadn’t calmed down at all and Kate was running out of things to say.
‘Norman, will you accept my apology?’ she said. Surely he couldn’t keep whining after that.
He let out a sigh, although it actually sounded more like a growl. ‘Fine, it’s fine,’ he eventually said. ‘I know I care too much. But at least you’ll be home tomorrow and things will be back to normal.’
Kate knew what she had to say next, but she couldn’t get the words out. There was an awkward silence, and she knew she had to say it. ‘There’s . . . one more thing.’
‘What do you mean one more thing?’ Norman said.
‘Well . . . we’re going to be staying in Vegas a little longer than expected.’
‘WHAT?’
‘Just until Wednesday!’
‘WEDNESDAY?’ he shrieked. ‘The wedding is on Friday! Kate, what the hell is going on? There’s something you’re not telling me!’
Norman was right, of course, but she couldn’t exactly tell him the truth. She needed an excuse. And fast. But the Capricorn in her hated lying. It had to be a white lie. Something that didn’t seem too far-fetched.
‘Well . . . you’re never going to believe this, but Chloe told the Bellagio that she’s an influencer and they gave us two extra nights completely free of charge,’ Kate said. She hoped to God it sounded believable.
‘Chloe isn’t an influencer!’
Busted.
But it was too late to go back on the lie now. She had to double down.
‘Well, I know that, but the girl at the check-in desk believed her. She’s going to tag them in her posts in exchange for the two nights. It’s an incredible opportunity and Chloe really needs this.’
‘Great, the girls can stay on and you can come home to finish planning our wedding!’
‘Normie, it’s my hen party. Chloe got the room for me, not for her. I can’t insult her by going home! It would really hurt her feelings.’
‘And what about my feelings? Don’t you care about me at all?’
‘Of course I care about you, Normie!’
‘And what am I supposed to do? Plan the rest of the wedding myself?’
‘Norman, you know I have 95 per cent of the planning done. And I can do the final 5 per cent from here! It’s not a big deal.’
‘Don’t downplay this situation, Kate. You’re being incredibly selfish!’
Kate was a lot of things but selfish was not one of them. On the contrary, she always put others first. She always put Norman first. ‘That’s a hurtful thing to say.’
‘Well, I’m sorry you feel that way,’ Norman said.
Kate hated when he said that. It was such an un-apology. Saying sorry while deflecting all the blame. Talk about the ultimate cop-out. But she had to bite her tongue. She needed him on her side.
‘Normie,’ she said, sweetly. ‘The girls are over the moon about the extra nights. I can’t let them down. After Friday, none of this will matter. We’ll be spending the rest of our lives together. Can we please just focus on that?’
Silence.
‘Okay, okay, fine!’ Norman finally agreed.
‘Thank you. Now, I’m going to join the girls for breakfast. I love you and I’ll talk to you soon.’
‘Right. But don’t forget to text me every hour like you promised. And next time I call, make sure you answer. My blood pressure is already through the roof after today.’
‘I will Norman, I promise. Chat to you soon.’
Kate hung up and let the air out of her lungs. Her lie hadn’t been great, but Norman had bought it. That was all that mattered. She just had to get through the three dates with Trevor so he would sign the annulment. Once that was done, she could put this insane ordeal behind her and live happily ever after with Norman.
But now it was time to tell the girls the tea.
Kate followed the signs and headed into the Bellagio buffet. She spotted the girls in an instant. It was impossible to miss them, frankly. They were the three most hungover people in the room and maybe even in all of Vegas. They were all having a massive breakfast to try and counterbalance the alcohol from the night before.
‘So you’re telling me this isn’t butter?’ Chloe was saying.
‘I know, can you believe it?’ Siobhan said.
‘KATE!’ Natalie shouted, as soon as she saw her.
‘Hi, girls,’ Kate said, sitting down beside them.
The girls were a sight to behold. Siobhan was still in handcuffs, although the chain in the middle had been broken so she was no longer restrained. Chloe was still bright orange and holding an ice pack on her back to soothe the burning from her Live, Laugh, Love tattoo. And Natalie suddenly had two incredibly bushy fake eyebrows to cover her lack thereof.
‘Nat, take those eyebrows off,’ Kate said, horrified. ‘You look like a registered sex offender.’
‘That’s the problem, Kate!’ Natalie said, trying to pull them off her face. ‘Chloe stuck them on with SUPERGLUE!’
‘The label on the bottle didn’t say superglue!’ Chloe said, defending herself. ‘It said potent adhesive!’
‘ALSO KNOWN AS SUPERGLUE!’
‘Oh, well, sorry I’m not a woman in STEM, Nat!’
‘Jesus, Nat. Should we take you to the hospital?’ Kate asked, concerned.
‘The hospital? We’re in America, Kate. A trip to the ER is thousands of dollars without insurance! I could barely afford breakfast!’ Natalie said.
‘So you’re stuck with them,’ Kate said. ‘Just like I’m stuck with Trevor.’
‘What do you mean? I thought you were going to get an annulment?’ Chloe said.
‘Actually girls, things have gone from bad to worse. And we have to spend two extra nights in Vegas.’
‘Ohhhh noooo!’ Siobhan said, sarcastically.
‘Wait, I’m confused,’ Chloe said. ‘Why are we staying an extra two nights?’
‘Because Trevor is refusing to sign the annulment until I go on three dates with him,’ Kate said.
‘You’re joking?’ Natalie said. ‘He can’t do that! Can he?’
‘Apparently he can. I need his signature to have the marriage erased. And now he’s using it as an opportunity to ruin my life! All over again!’ Kate said, hopelessly.
‘Wow, that’s big Scorpio energy. They love creating toxic situations.’
‘Well . . . is it really the worst thing in the world?’ Siobhan asked.
‘Yes, Siobhan, it literally is the worst thing in the world. And I hold you personally responsible,’ Kate snapped.
‘Hold on a minute,’ Siobhan said, defensively. ‘I’m not the guilty one here.’
‘Says the woman who woke up in handcuffs.’
‘We were all hammered and we all made mistakes. But each of us have to own our shit.’
‘You said two drinks and home by ten!’
‘Pretty sure I said ten drinks and home by two.’
‘Classic Siobhan. Lies, lies and more lies,’ Kate said.
‘I’m not a liar! I just have an open relationship with the truth,’ Siobhan shrugged.
‘I should have never let you talk me into going out!’
‘How is this my fault? I was the designated drunk! And it’s not like I held a gun to your head and made you propose to Trevor!’
‘You were definitely egging me on. The Elvis impersonator told me you requested T-shirts that said #TeamTrevor!’
‘Do they come in large?’ Siobhan asked, eager to wear one.
‘You probably dared me to shave off my eyebrows too,’ Natalie said, giving her a dirty look.
‘Oh, cry me a river, Nat. You never take any personal responsibility for your actions.’
‘That’s my parents’ fault!’
‘Look, I’m sorry for ordering the Four Loko, okay? But I won’t be blamed for anything else. I just wanted us to relive the J-1 days. Sorry for living!’ Siobhan said, throwing her arms in the air.
‘I knew this was going to happen,’ Natalie sighed.
‘You knew I was going to get blackout drunk on my hen party and wake up married to my fuckboy ex-boyfriend?’ Kate asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘Well . . . no. But Mercury went into retrograde last night. We were doomed from the start.’
‘So weird how your onyx crystal necklace didn’t stop this from happening,’ Chloe said, sarcastically.
‘Yeah . . . I knew I should have worn obsidian.’
‘Focus, girls,’ Kate said. ‘We have to navigate this shitstorm together. I need all hands on deck!’
‘I can go on the three dates in your place if you’d like,’ Siobhan suggested. ‘I’m willing to take one for the team. And by taking one I do mean Trevor’s massive—’
‘We know what you mean,’ Kate interrupted, unamused.
‘I think there’s something romantic about the whole thing,’ Chloe said.
‘No, there’s not! He married me while I was drunk!’
‘But don’t you think it’s romantic that he didn’t have sex with you while you were drunk?’
‘Wow, the bar is really on the floor for men, huh?’ Natalie said.
‘Well, I wouldn’t mind waking up married to a famous DJ. Just saying.’
‘We don’t even know that he’s famous,’ Kate said.
‘Actually, we do. I did some research while you were gone,’ Chloe said, opening his now-unblocked Instagram profile on her phone. ‘He has two million followers, and he’s verified.’
Kate took the phone and scrolled through Trevor’s profile. Like the girls, she had blocked him nine years ago, so she had missed his meteoric rise to fame. His photos had hundreds of thousands of likes and mainly consisted of him holding champagne at massive parties surrounded by stunning, scantily clad women. Nightclubs, yachts, skyscrapers: everywhere Trevor went, the party seemed to follow. Underneath each post was a seemingly endless stream of Insta models commenting fire emojis, to which he would respond with cheeky, flirtatious winky faces. As if Kate’s stomach wasn’t churned enough.
‘I’m going to get sick,’ she said in disgust. ‘He’s literally everything I hate in a man!’
‘Yeah – rich, handsome, successful, famous . . . all such turn-offs,’ Chloe said, sarcastically.
‘That’s what you see, Chloe. What I see is a vain, flashy, egotistical prick.’
‘And it looks like he’s a fan of the powder,’ Natalie said.
‘Really?’ Kate said, horrified. ‘How can you tell?’
‘See that key-shaped necklace he’s wearing?’ Natalie said, pointing at one of the photos. ‘People only wear those so they can do bumps of cocaine off them.’
Kate squinted at the necklace on the screen and saw that Natalie was right. ‘Jesus Christ, I literally married an excessive, coke-fuelled megalomaniac!’ she said, handing the phone back. ‘I knew he was a fuckboy, girls. And it’s going to take a lot more than a blue tick on Instagram to change my opinion of him.’
‘Speak for yourself. I’d let a man choke me if he was verified,’ Chloe said.
‘So that’s two for Team Trevor,’ Siobhan smirked. ‘Do those T-shirts come in child sizes?’
‘I’m not that small, Siobhan!’
‘Chloe, please tell me you’re not on Trevor’s side,’ Kate said.
‘Well . . . no. But while we’re here, do you think you could ask him to give me a shoutout? It could be my big break.’
‘I’m not asking Trevor for anything! I don’t want to owe him a single thing,’ Kate said, firmly.
‘Well, you do sort of owe him answers,’ Natalie said. ‘You dumped him nine years ago without any explanation and then blocked him on everything. He’s bound to have questions.’
‘Well, he’s not getting any answers from me. Jesus, I can’t believe I married the worst man in the world when I have the perfect fiancé back home.’
‘Define perfect,’ Natalie muttered under her breath.
‘And I’m the one who proposed! I can’t think of anything more embarrassing!’
‘We’ve all embarrassed ourselves while drunk,’ Siobhan said. ‘Remember Chloe got hit by that parked car?’
‘For the millionth time, I twisted my ankle and fell on the bonnet!’ Chloe snapped.
‘I’m riddled with guilt, girls,’ Kate said, putting her face in her palms. ‘Poor Norman calling me all night while I was marrying my ex! I’m literally the worst person in the world!’
‘Hey! Don’t take my title away from me,’ Siobhan said. ‘And you’re not the worst person, you’re the best person I know.’
‘Yeah, Kate. People are more than just their worst mistake,’ Chloe said in an oddly profound way.
‘Wow, Chloe. That was actually very poetic,’ Kate said.
‘Wait, what did I say again?’
‘Chloe, if you had brains, you’d be dangerous,’ Natalie laughed.
‘So you all really think I’m not a bad person?’ Kate asked.
‘Of course not!’ Natalie said. ‘Think of it like your Reputation era. You’re having a baddie moment but that doesn’t make you bad.’
The Taylor Swift reference made complete sense to Kate.
‘Yeah, you’re right,’ she said. ‘This doesn’t define me as a person. I can put last night behind me and go back to being me. And enter my Lover era with Norman!’
‘Flop era,’ Siobhan coughed.
‘We will have no Tay Tay slander in this circle!’ Kate insisted. ‘I just have to sit through these stupid dates and get the annulment signed so I can marry the man I’m supposed to be with.’
‘Did you call Norman yet?’ Chloe said.
‘Yes. And if he ever asks, Chloe got us two extra nights for free because she’s an influencer,’ Kate explained.
Siobhan immediately burst out laughing. ‘Kate, of all the lies in the world you could have told, you chose the most unbelievable one possible?’
‘Give her a break, Siobhan. Capricorns can’t lie to save their life,’ Natalie laughed.
‘It doesn’t matter, because Norman believed it. But in all seriousness, girls, Norman can never find out what really happened.’
‘Agreed,’ Siobhan, Natalie and Chloe said in unison.
‘We can survive this, girls, I know we can. I just need some kind of strategy for getting through these three dates. Some kind of plan,’ Kate said, rattling her brain.
‘Because planning has worked so well already,’ Siobhan said, rolling her eyes.
‘But what if there’s a way to make Trevor want to sign the annulment before the third date? Like, how can I get rid of him sooner?’
‘I have an idea!’ Natalie said, as if a lightbulb just went on in her mind. ‘Give him the ick!’
‘Nat, that’s brilliant!’ Kate said. ‘What are some icks that girls can do?’
‘Well, whenever I want to annoy a man, I usually say something like “Why can’t the government just print more money?”’
‘Oh, that’s good! What else?’
‘Try and use the term “birthday week”,’ Chloe suggested. ‘Last time I said that on a date, the guy got a nosebleed.’
‘Yes! Give me more!’
‘Order chicken nuggets on the date! And eat them very loudly,’ Siobhan said.
‘Okay girls, this is all gold. Trevor Rush is about to go on the worst date of his life. He’ll be dying to sign the annulment by the end of it and he’ll forget about his stupid plan to ruin my life!’
Kate felt as if she had regained a sense of power. Trevor had put her in a precarious situation but she wouldn’t go down without a fight. If he was hell-bent on torturing her with his toxic scheme, she would just torture him right back. She would become the world’s worst wife. And, with a bit of luck, this fever dream could end sooner rather than later.
Trevor had no idea what was about to hit him.
‘Okay, well, I don’t know about you skinny bitches but I need a third round of breakfast,’ Siobhan said, getting up.
‘Siobhan, you’ve already tasted everything they have!’ Chloe said.
‘Excuse you, I paid $54 for this buffet and I intend to make it worth my while!’
‘Thanks for buying me breakfast by the way, girls,’ Kate said. She was grateful the girls had covered the cost, although she wasn’t even sure if she was capable of eating after everything that had happened.
‘Consider it your wedding present.’
‘For which wedding?’ Chloe laughed.
‘Too soon,’ Kate said, unimpressed.
‘This place is such a rip-off though,’ Natalie said. ‘I’m just going to have a deep breath for dinner.’
‘Just eat your eight meals of the day now, instead of later,’ Siobhan suggested.
‘That’s a good idea actually! Will you bring a plate down for me?’
‘Or you could come down off Brokebitch Mountain and get it yourself?’
‘I can’t go up there with these eyebrows. I literally look like Ratatouille!’
‘That’s not true, Nat,’ Chloe said.
‘Aw, really, Chloe?’
‘Yeah, the rat’s name is Remy. Ratatouille is the dish he makes. So you look like Remy, not Ratatouille.’
‘Well, with that tan, you look like Donald Trump’s illegitimate daughter, Tramp!’
‘Okay, that was a decent burn,’ Chloe laughed.
‘Thank you,’ Natalie said, proudly. ‘Siobhan, will you please get me more food?’
‘Ugh, fine, what do you want?’
‘I think they’re serving lunch now,’ Natalie said, looking over at the buffet. ‘Could you put together a Caesar salad for me? But instead of lettuce, could you put in kale? And instead of cheese, could you add in some tofu? And instead of bacon, could you add in . . .’ Natalie went on.
‘How about I just bring you a regular Caesar salad with a dildo on the side?’
‘Why the hell would you do that?’
‘Well, that way if you don’t like the salad, you can go fuck yourself,’ Siobhan smiled before strolling in the direction of the buffet.