That evening, Kate was getting ready for her first date with Trevor.
She had showered away the hangover, or at least the worst of it, and her general feeling of malaise was finally starting to fade. They had moved from the honeymoon suite back to their normal double queen room. Even though the suite was superior in every way, Kate had woken up in that room one time too many. Plus, it was trashed to an unliveable standard. Thankfully the room, and all the damages, had been put on Trevor’s black card.
Kate had brushed her teeth, blow-dried her auburn hair into her usual wavy style and applied a tiny bit of makeup. She had even managed to get the wedding ring off her finger with some soap and water. Now, she just needed to get Trevor Rush out of her life, once and for all. With the time difference, Norman would be asleep, so she could focus on the task at hand without worrying about texting him. Three dates and she was free, she reminded herself.
She could do this.
‘Kate, what the hell!’ Natalie said when Kate walked out of the bathroom.
‘What?’ Kate asked, confused.
‘You look lovely! What happened to giving Trevor the ick?’
‘Nat’s right,’ Siobhan said. ‘You put in way too much effort.’
‘I wouldn’t call brushing my teeth and washing my hair effort,’ Kate said. ‘What am I supposed to do?’
‘Bad breath is a huge ick,’ Chloe suggested. ‘We need to find some raw garlic for you to eat.’
‘I’m not spending the entire night with the taste of raw garlic in my mouth! Think of something else.’
‘Can you queef on demand?’ Siobhan asked.
‘Obviously not!’
‘Amateur.’
‘Girls, I know this is very funny to you all, but does anyone have any real ideas?’ Kate sighed.
‘I do,’ Chloe said, taking out some lipstick. ‘Smile!’ Kate opened her mouth slightly and Chloe put a dab of lipstick onto her teeth. ‘There, that should do it.’
‘I still think she looks too good,’ Natalie said.
‘Don’t worry, girls,’ Kate reassured them. ‘It’s my actions that are really going to give Trevor the ick. I’m going to be the worst wife in history. After this date, he won’t be able to get rid of me fast enough.’
The girls left the room and accompanied Kate to the front entrance of the hotel where she was due to meet Trevor. On the way there, Siobhan was struck by a good-looking man in the elevator.
‘Getting off?’ Siobhan asked when the door opened.
‘The night is young,’ the mysterious stranger said.
Siobhan smirked and the girls got into the elevator with him.
‘Going down?’ he asked.
‘The night is young,’ Siobhan winked at him.
Kate laughed to herself. It was clear Siobhan’s plans for the evening were already taken care of.
The girls walked through the lobby and out the front door of the hotel.
‘Ah, nothing like a little fresh air,’ Siobhan said as she lit up a cigarette.
‘I still can’t believe you bought a pack of those,’ Kate said, unimpressed. As the Mam of the group, she hated the idea of Siobhan paying money to poison herself.
‘It’s not my fault I’m orally fixated. And cigarettes don’t count when you’re on holiday, everyone knows that,’ Siobhan shrugged. ‘Oh look, there’s the Italian stallion now.’
Kate looked ahead to see Trevor leaning against his black Mercedes town car in an expensive-looking suit with a black velvet blazer.
‘Ugh,’ Kate said. ‘Even the way he leans is arrogant.’
‘Wait, I just had an idea!’ Siobhan said. ‘Take a drag of my cigarette!’
‘Siobhan, you know I hate smoking!’
‘Yeah, but maybe Trevor will hate it too. Smoking is an ick for some people!’
Kate took the cigarette in her hands. She had never touched one in her life and had never planned to. But if it could repulse Trevor, it was worth a shot. But as soon as Kate inhaled, she started to cough uncontrollably.
‘Didn’t peg you for a smoker, Freckles,’ Trevor said, walking over to them.
‘Ahem,’ Kate said, trying to clear her throat and catch her breath. ‘Mmhmm, I love smoking. I smoke like three packs a day.’
‘Well, it’s good to see you’re still the worst liar in history. That’ll make things easy.’
Great, she had just smoked a cigarette for nothing. And the horrible taste was still lingering in her mouth. She felt like getting sick. Just when her hangover was fading, she felt completely nauseous once again.
‘Nice to see The Four Lokos, as always,’ Trevor said to the girls.
‘They want me home by eleven,’ Kate snapped.
‘Ladies. Giving the new bride a curfew?’
‘Well, maybe midnight is more reasonable,’ Siobhan said.
Kate gave her an elbow in the back.
‘Midnight it is. Don’t worry ladies, she’s in good hands,’ Trevor said, opening the car door for her. ‘Now, Mrs Rush, if you’d like to accompany me.’
‘Not my name,’ Kate insisted as she got into the car.
Trevor closed the door behind her and turned back to the girls. ‘Oh ladies, by the way, I put together some gift bags for you from the wedding.’ He opened the boot and handed them each a small pink bag.
Kate could see he was giving them something and she wasn’t one bit impressed. The girls peeked into their bags and immediately burst out laughing. Kate knew it was most likely some of the merch from the wedding. She tried to open the car door from the inside but it wouldn’t budge. Trevor had put the child lock on to keep her inside.
‘DO NOT OPEN THOSE BAGS!’ Kate yelled as she banged on the window.
But it was no use. The girls couldn’t hear her, and they were already walking away with their little goodie bags full of merch. Those bags had enough embarrassing materials to mortify Kate for the rest of her life. There was no way she would let them bring them back to Ireland. She couldn’t have any evidence of her marriage to Trevor lying around.
‘Okay then,’ Trevor said as he got into the car beside her. ‘Are you ready to begin our honeymoon?’
‘This is NOT our honeymoon!’ Kate snapped.
‘Two newlyweds on a romantic holiday? Sounds like a honeymoon to me.’
‘Well, I’m not in the honeymood.’
‘Not yet . . .’
‘Believe whatever you want,’ Kate said with a fake smile, making sure the lipstick on her teeth was visible.
‘You have a little something on your teeth . . .’
‘Oh my God,’ Kate said, pretending she didn’t know. She took out a napkin from her bag and began to wipe it away. ‘This happens to me every time I wear lipstick! You must think I’m so ugly.’
‘You couldn’t be ugly even if you tried, Freckles,’ he smiled.
Damn. Giving Trevor the ick was going to be harder than she expected.
No matter. She still had plenty of icks up her sleeve.
Lorenzo started the car and they drove towards some unknown destination. On the journey, Kate began fidgeting as she tried to relax into her seat. But her stomach was still turning from the cigarette and she couldn’t get comfortable.
‘Am I making you nervous?’ Trevor asked.
‘Nervous? No. Nauseous? Yes,’ Kate replied.
‘Pretty sure that’s from smoking your first cigarette. Those things will kill you, you know?’
‘Yeah it’s funny, ever since I became your wife, I’ve had this strange desire to die.’
‘Till death do us part, darling.’
‘The sooner the better.’
‘Where’s your wedding ring by the way?’ Trevor said, noticing its absence.
‘I got it off with some soap. And I’m going to get through whatever torture you have planned for me on these stupid dates,’ Kate said, folding her arms.
‘You think travelling the world is torture?’
‘What the hell are you talking about? I can’t travel the world! My wedding is next week!’
‘Relax, Freckles. I know you’re on a bit of a tight schedule. But nine years ago I promised you I’d show you the world one day. Or have you forgotten that too?’
Kate hadn’t forgotten the promise Trevor had made. He used to say the two of them would travel the world making love and making music. But time had proven his words to be completely hollow.
‘No, I remember your empty promises, don’t worry,’ she said, unamused.
‘Nothing empty about them,’ Trevor said. ‘Vegas is home to the finest replicas of the world’s greatest monuments. So for our three dates, we’re going to be travelling the world right here on the Strip.’
‘Or you could go and just send me a postcard?’ Kate suggested.
‘Nah, wouldn’t be the same without Mrs Rush by my side.’
‘I told you not to call me that.’
‘Sorry, Freckles.’
‘Good God, you’re literally the most annoying man I’ve ever met!’
‘If your husband doesn’t drive you insane, is he really your husband?’ Trevor winked.
‘Are we there yet?’ Kate asked the driver.