When they arrived at the Venice canals, Trevor paid the gondola operator and they both hopped on board.
There was a stunning antipasti board waiting for them with a delectable selection of meats, cheeses, breads and even some strawberries.
‘Grazie, Giovanni,’ Trevor said as he sat down next to Kate.
Trevor and the gondolier began to speak to each other in Italian, and Kate had no idea what they were saying. She had tried to learn Italian on Duolingo, but she’d found the owl mascot slightly intimidating and never continued. She even had a recurring nightmare where the owl was standing below her bed like a sleep paralysis demon.
The gondola stirred to life as they began their serpentine circuit of the canal.
It was a truly beautiful scene to be fair, Kate couldn’t help but think to herself. The surrounding building walls were decorated like old Venetian houses and the water was the most gorgeous shade of turquoise she’d ever seen. Though it was scorching, a gentle breeze swept across the canal, a sweet lullaby that made her feel surprisingly tranquil. There was even a faint smell of lavender threading through the air. At first, she was confused by the scent, but then she looked down to see a vase of her favourite flowers perched alongside the antipasti board.
‘Lavender . . .’ she said, touching their fragrant leaves.
‘Your favourite, right?’
Kate couldn’t quite believe Trevor remembered. It was almost a decade ago, after all. First her favourite food and now her favourite flowers? But she reminded herself that he was trying to use memory to manipulate her.
‘What is this?’ she said. ‘Some kind of way of arousing my senses?’
‘Why?’ Trevor said with a cheeky smile. ‘Is it working?’
‘Absolutely not!’
‘Could have fooled me. So are you ready to tell me why you disappeared nine years ago?’
‘Are we really back to this?’ Kate said. ‘And I’m pretty sure I told you why back then.’
‘Oh, you mean the Dear John message you sent me on my birthday via Instagram? The one where you said we were just a summer fling?’
‘That’s all we were.’
‘Oh please,’ Trevor laughed. ‘As if we hadn’t planned an entire life together. Don’t you think dumping someone on their birthday is rather cruel?’
‘So is refusing to sign an annulment until a person goes on three dates with you.’
‘I know, that’s why I’m enjoying it so much,’ Trevor winked. ‘But rest assured, Freckles, I will find out why you really dumped me.’
Kate didn’t bother responding. The less she said the better. She was not having that conversation, no matter how much he tried to have it. She did find it incredibly interesting, however, that he was so desperate to discover the answer. It was like he had this unknown affliction and only she had the remedy. But she had no intention of giving it to him. If these dates were a way of him torturing her, she could torture him right back by being withholding.
‘So, let me ask you a different question,’ he continued. ‘Was there a specific moment when you stopped being you and became someone else?’
‘Said the man who literally went from a deadbeat bum to a famous Vegas DJ.’
‘Yes, but that was always my dream. I stayed true to myself. That’s the secret to success, you know? As soon as you try to be something you’re not, you’re destined to fail.’
‘Is this TED Talk over yet?’ Kate said, making a face at him.
‘I’m serious. Was there a moment when you woke up and decided to hate having fun?’
‘If you think I’m that boring, you can replace me with any fun-loving woman of your choice. All you have to do is sign the annulment and you’re free of me.’
‘Nice try, Freckles,’ Trevor smiled. ‘I know the fun Kate is still in there . . . somewhere.’
Kate sighed and picked up a strawberry from the antipasti board. She remembered the mental note she made to chew with her mouth open so as to give Trevor the ick. She put it in her mouth and began to chew like one of those iPad toddlers, making as much noise with her mouth as she possibly could.
‘That’s quite a mouth you have there,’ Trevor said.
‘Oh sorry, I’m such a loud chewer,’ she said. ‘Terrible habit, I know.’
‘Well, if you keep chewing like that, I’ll have to kiss you in order to make you stop,’ he said, locking eyes with her.
Stalemate.
‘Fine,’ Kate said, tossing the strawberries aside. ‘The ones in Ireland are better anyway.’
‘Can’t wait to taste them,’ Trevor said. ‘We should plan a time for me to finally meet your family.’
‘You’re not coming anywhere near my family!’ Kate said. ‘My parents are very much Team Norman!’
‘That’s because they think there’s only one team.’
‘There is only one team, because I’m already taken!’
‘Taken for granted,’ Trevor said, smugly.
Kate felt like she had been struck by a bolt of anger. Not because Trevor was wrong. On the contrary, she feared he might actually be right.
When Norman began courting Kate, he was the romantic gentleman she had been searching for. He used to take her on cute dates and always made her feel special. But once they had been together for a while, these small but important gestures slowly began to disappear. She sometimes felt that once Norman knew she was his, he became complacent.
Romance, it seemed, was like sand in an hourglass, slowly running out over time. Their relationship had gone from romantic candlelit dinners to Chinese takeaways on the couch. She was a fan of creature comforts, of course, but she often found herself wishing Norman would suggest something exciting for them both. It was like he had idealized her in the beginning but slowly devalued her over time.
Kate had confronted him about the way she was feeling, but Norman reassured her she was imagining things. He loved her, he said, and the idea that he took her for granted was all in her head. Then, out of nowhere, he proposed. The hourglass of romance had been flipped and the sands of love were bound to flow once more. At the time, she was thrilled.
But then he failed to present an engagement ring.
It almost killed her. But she feigned a smile and hoped the lack of a diamond would be overshadowed by an abundance of other romantic gestures. Sadly, however, it wasn’t.
It made her think about what Natalie had said on the plane, about men only being romantic as a means to an end. She wondered if men saw romantic gestures as a purely transactional exchange. Are they only romantic up until they have you? Do they buy you flowers because they love you, or because it might increase the chances of sex? She didn’t necessarily have the answer, but Norman definitely only put in a fraction of the effort he used to.
She loved the courting stage, the little gestures that made her feel appreciated, desired. For Kate, romance was an end in itself. Yet, it seemed she had gotten used to the bare minimum. And somehow, Trevor seemed to know it. He always seemed to know everything.
‘Norman makes me feel very appreciated actually,’ Kate said, trying to convince herself as much as Trevor. ‘That’s exactly why he’s my fiancé.’
‘And yet . . . you’re not wearing an engagement ring,’ Trevor pried, with a cheeky grin.
Hitting a nerve was one thing. Now it seemed he was trying to set her entire central nervous system on fire with rage.
‘Norman and I don’t need a diamond to prove something,’ Kate said, pretending she wasn’t annoyed. ‘Anyway, engagement rings were just a marketing ploy that De Beers came up with to upsell diamonds in the forties. It’s just one big scam.’
‘And let me guess. It was Norman who told you this?’ Trevor asked, knowing the answer.
‘Well, yes . . . but it’s true! Look it up. It’s all just clever marketing.’
‘Maybe. But deep down, isn’t there a tiny part of you that still would have liked one?’
‘Nope,’ Kate said, adamantly. She was lying, of course.
‘Oh come on. Women love all that engagement drama,’ Trevor said.
‘Men always say women love drama, but men are actually way more dramatic,’ Kate said. ‘Have you ever seen a man with a common cold?’
‘I have to disagree. Men hate drama.’
‘HA!’ Kate laughed. ‘You’ve obviously never opened a history book.’
‘Okay, fair point,’ Trevor laughed. ‘But you’re forgetting the slogan that De Beers used when they were selling diamonds.’
‘And what’s that?’
‘A diamond is for ever,’ he smiled. ‘They’re beautiful and unbreakable. It’s not about getting men to cough up money. It’s the perfect symbol of true love. That’s my only regret from our wedding the other night. It’s a shame I wasn’t able to give you my grandmother’s ring.’
‘Why your grandmother’s ring?’ Kate asked, curious.
‘It’s been in my family for generations. It’s practically priceless.’
‘Well, I’m sure that someday, you’ll get to give it to some lucky girl who actually wants an engagement ring.’
‘Nah – it was stolen. Sold for a fortune, I’m sure.’
‘Good thing you have all the money in the world to buy your future fiancée any ring she wants.’
‘You see, that’s the problem. Success is a double-edged sword. You can never know if someone actually loves you or the money. It’s lonely at the top.’
‘Aww, the rich and famous playboy with the Lamborghini has feelings,’ Kate said, pouting her lips.
‘You think I’m a playboy?’ Trevor laughed.
‘Actually no. I think the term fuckboy is more appropriate.’
‘Is that so?’
‘Well, just look at you. You’re a successful Vegas DJ with two million followers. You probably sleep with a different woman every night.’
Trevor began to laugh once again. ‘You think I sleep with 365 women a year?’
‘For all I know, yes,’ Kate shrugged.
‘I didn’t know I was such a stud. You honestly think I’m the most attractive man in the world?’
‘That is NOT what I said!’
‘Well, for your information, I don’t sleep around.’
‘You honestly expect me to believe that? The women here practically throw themselves at you. And I’ve seen your Instagram feed.’
‘Naturally, when I came to Vegas first, I had some fun. But looking back, I was just trying to fill some kind of void, like I was trying to find a missing piece of myself. There are some amazing women in Vegas but they all have the same flaw.’
‘And what’s that?’
‘They’re not you.’
Kate’s heart suddenly felt like it was beating out of her chest. It began to thump so loud that she could feel her pulse in every part of her body. Every part! This couldn’t be happening. Surely she wasn’t getting the ‘flutters’, as Chloe called them. This kind of thing didn’t happen to Kate. Or, at least, it hadn’t happened in nine years.
His words seemed so incredibly sincere for some reason. For a moment she saw the tender side to Trevor, the vulnerability she used to adore. She felt as if she had just gotten a glimpse of the real Trevor underneath the success. Somewhere behind the mask was the man she had fallen in love with.
No.
She refused to be fooled. He was too good with words, that was the problem. He always knew the right thing to say. For all she knew, he said the same thing to every other girl he was ever with. He probably had a list of romantic lines in his head ready to use at any given moment. It was all part of his toxic scheme. She had to get a grip on herself.
The flutters were not welcome on this date.
‘Sorry, but I’m not buying the playboy-with-a-heart-of-gold act,’ Kate said, nipping his romantic gesture in the bud. ‘No amount of Ferris wheels or gondola rides are going to woo me. Frankly, I liked you better when you were broke.’
‘That’s what makes you so unique,’ Trevor said. ‘The girl who doesn’t want a diamond deserves the biggest one of all.’
‘That would be a good song lyric,’ Kate said, putting a melody together in her head.
Trevor’s eyes lit up with admiration. ‘Well, look at the little songwriter coming out of her shell,’ he said.
‘Oh for God’s sake, can’t I say anything without you steering the conversation? It’s like you’re constantly one step—’
‘Ahead?’ Trevor smiled.
‘Stop finishing my—’
‘Sentences?’
Kate started rubbing her temples in frustration. ‘Are you trying to give me a hernia with rage?’ she asked.
‘Don’t you think you were a little quick to give up music?’
‘I didn’t give up, I grew up.’
‘Tell me more. Yesterday you let slip something about a song . . .’
Kate knew he would bring it up. She hadn’t technically told him about the song, she had only almost said it. She hated the idea of telling Trevor about her gigantic failure. But it was no use now. She knew he wouldn’t let it go. Maybe she could tell him the bare minimum as a way of getting him to drop it.
‘Fine . . . long story short . . .’
‘I want the long version.’
‘You’re lucky you’re getting any version at all!’
‘After college, I tried the whole independent musician thing, but it was hopeless. I couldn’t get any gigs whatsoever. People wanted covers of songs but I only ever wanted to play my own stuff. I figured I’d put myself out there and build an audience for my music. So I released an original song. Guess how many streams it got?’
‘With your voice, surely millions,’ Trevor said.
‘Not even 1,000,’ Kate sighed. ‘And those streams were just from Siobhan, Nat and Chloe. So your image of me as this great singer-songwriter is completely in your head. It’s a version of me that never even existed in the first place.’
‘Oh, it existed. You just needed time to develop your craft. That’s exactly what we were doing that summer. You were writing songs and I was mixing beats. It felt like the beginning of something special. We could have been an amazing duo.’
‘Oh please, we never even finished a single track!’
‘That’s because we were always too busy having—’
‘I know what we were busy doing!’ Kate said, cutting him off. She couldn’t think about her sex with Trevor that summer. And yet, suddenly she was having a flashback to those hot days in his apartment. Making music and making love. Although they spent way too many hours focusing on the latter.
‘I think we could have been the next Sonny and Cher.’
‘Well, Sonny cheated on Cher, so I guess we have that in common,’ Kate said.
Trevor’s eyes narrowed in confusion. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Kate realized she had said too much. She didn’t want him to know that she knew about him cheating. It would lead to a million more questions that would ultimately lead Kate to tears. And that was not happening.
‘Look, we never would have worked as a duo, Trevor. And you made it on your own which only proves I would have held you back. So let’s just leave it at that,’ Kate said, eager to change the subject.
‘You know, Freckles, something I’ve learned is that if you have a voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, somebody put that voice there,’ Trevor said. ‘My guess is Norman.’
‘Oh please, Norman is a great man.’
‘What does he think of your music?’ Trevor asked.
‘Well . . . he’s not a big music fan in general,’ Kate defended him.
‘He doesn’t like music? That doesn’t strike you as a red flag?’
‘Like you can talk. You have more red flags than a golf course!’
‘Name one.’
‘Well, for starters, you’re wearing a cocaine key necklace,’ Kate said.
Trevor looked down at his necklace and smiled. ‘Wow, you really have me all figured out, don’t you, Freckles?’
‘I most certainly do,’ Kate said, smugly.
‘But you still haven’t answered my question. What does Norman think of your music?’
‘He encouraged me to get a job where I could actually apply my skills. And it was good advice, because now I have a great career in event planning. What point are you even trying to prove here?’
‘My point is that loving someone who doesn’t believe in you is like a bird loving its cage.’
‘Norman isn’t my cage,’ Kate scoffed.
‘Isn’t he? Seems to me like you’re settling down in a nice little birdcage because you think you’re at the age to lay some eggs, and you’d rather play it safe than learn to fly.’
‘Give me a break,’ Kate laughed. ‘At least I’m not a peacock. Showing off with expensive suits and overpriced sports cars.’
‘Well, I’ll never forget the first time I heard you sing. Do you remember?’
‘Oh God, that karaoke bar, yes! I sang . . .’
‘Taylor Swift’s “Love Story”,’ Trevor said. ‘As soon as you started singing, I got goosebumps.’
‘Whatever goosebumps you got came from Taylor’s genius lyrics, not my singing,’ Kate said, putting herself down as usual.
‘Let’s put it to the test,’ Trevor said. ‘There should be a karaoke bar around here somewhere.’
‘ABSOLUTELY NOT!’ Kate said. ‘Norman would kill me!’
‘Norman would kill you?’
‘Yeah, I started singing at one of his work events while I was drunk and I made a show of him. I was a hot mess apparently. My karaoke days are officially over.’
‘You don’t hear that?’
‘Hear what?’
‘You just proved my point. Norman’s the reason you stopped singing.’
‘No he’s not! If anything, he’s the one who picked me up when I was down! And I’m perfectly content with the way my life turned out.’
‘Content isn’t the same as happy,’ Trevor said, looking deep into her eyes. It was like he was reaching into her soul, desperately trying to rescue her.
But Kate wasn’t some helpless damsel in distress. She was a grown woman.
‘It is once you turn thirty,’ she said. ‘And after thirty, the chances of becoming a famous artist are slim to none.’
‘I don’t know about that. Bram Stoker didn’t start writing Dracula until he was fifty. And Dracula didn’t start killing people until he was dead,’ Trevor joked.
‘How inspiring,’ Kate laughed. ‘This TED Talk keeps getting better and better.’
‘I’m just saying, maybe you threw in the towel a little early. If I didn’t keep pushing myself, I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am today. If I’m being honest, I owe a lot of my success to you.’
‘Oh please.’
‘I mean it. Behind every great man is a greater woman.’
‘And in front of every woman is a man stealing her spotlight,’ Kate said, gritting her teeth.
‘I would never steal your spotlight, Kate,’ he said, looking straight into her eyes with his piercing gaze. ‘All I want is to see you shine.’
Shit.
The flutters were back.
Whenever he called her Kate, he seemed so sincere. But she had to remind herself that it was all an act. It genuinely meant a lot that he acknowledged her role in his success, however. She was the first person to ever hype him up, to tell him he was good enough. But then again, all his success had come after she left New York. She couldn’t really take any credit.
‘Well, I appreciate what you’re trying to say, but it’s not entirely true. You made it without me, Trevor.’
‘No, Kate, I made it because of you. Nothing motivates a man like a broken heart.’
She had broken his heart?
Now that was rich.
He had finally said the wrong thing and she was able to get a grip of herself once again. The flutters were officially gone. He cheated on her and somehow he was the victim? She felt like calling him out on his bullshit, but she had to retain her poise and remain aloof.
She needed that signature.
‘Well, everything worked out for the both of us in the end,’ she shrugged.
‘Still, you have a beautiful voice. It’s a shame the world will never hear it.’
‘If nobody listens then it doesn’t make any difference.’
‘I just wish your dreams were bigger than your excuses. If the right person listens, that’s all that matters,’ Trevor said.
Kate was sick of talking in circles about a stupid pipe dream she had a million years ago. He knew her failed singing career was a sensitive subject but he refused to let it go. Just one of his many attempts at torturing her, she supposed. And whenever people brought up her music, all she could think about was that internet troll’s hate comment:
Another delusional hack going absolutely nowhere.
Who could blame her for not wanting to discuss it to death?
‘Can we please talk about something a little more interesting?’ she said, desperate to change the subject.
‘Okay, back to Norman . . .’
‘Nope! He is also not up for discussion. It’s bad enough that you’ve jeopardized my life with him. You’re literally a homewrecker!’
‘It’s not homewrecking if it’s an obvious upgrade. It’s home renovation,’ Trevor teased.
‘Oh please, he’s a doctor who makes six figures.’
‘Six figures. How cute.’
‘It’s more than enough.’
‘More than enough to buy you a ring.’
‘Okay, that’s it!’ Kate said. ‘I’m not going to let you have some stupid dick-measuring contest with Norman.’
‘No, I imagine that’s something you definitely wouldn’t want to happen,’ Trevor said, a triumphant smirk tugging at his lips.
That was the final straw.
Everything with Trevor was a battle of wits and she was officially at her wits’ end.
‘Excuse me, sir? Steer us back to shore please,’ Kate said to the gondolier.
‘He only speaks Italian,’ Trevor explained. ‘Guess you’re stuck here.’
Kate rattled her brain for some Italian phrases she had learned on Duolingo. But her mind was completely blank.
‘Fine, I’ll steer us myself,’ she said, getting up. She grabbed the paddle off the gondolier and began trying to steer the boat.
‘Get down from there,’ Trevor said.
‘No!’ she replied, like a stubborn child.
‘You’re up shit creek without a paddle.’
‘I have a paddle, thank you very much!’
‘You’re going to regret it if you don’t start behaving.’
‘I doubt that!’ Kate said, determined to prove she could turn the gondola around.
‘Stop being such a brat.’
‘Make me!’
‘With pleasure,’ Trevor said. He stood up and tried to grab her.
‘No!’ Kate said, turning around too quickly. Before she knew it, she had accidentally whacked Trevor with the paddle and sent him flying off the boat and into the water.
‘OH MY GOD!’ Kate shouted as Trevor splashed in.
Trevor came back up from beneath the water. Thankfully, it wasn’t deep. ‘Now you’re really being a brat, aren’t you?’
‘I’m so sorry, it was an accident!’
‘Are you hell bent on destroying every suit I own?’
‘Here, take my hand,’ Kate said, trying to help him up.
‘I already took your hand, wifey. Remember?’ Trevor joked.
‘Oh shut up and climb aboard.’
Trevor reached up and grabbed Kate’s hand. He gripped it firmly but for some strange reason, he did not get up on the boat. That’s when Kate saw the mischievous look on his face.
‘Don’t even think about it,’ she said, sternly.
‘I told you you’d regret it, darling,’ he said with a twisted grin.
In one swift motion, Trevor pulled Kate off the boat and directly into the water beside him. She began to shriek as she came up for air.
‘HOW DARE YOU!’ Kate yelled. ‘We’re both destroyed!’
‘This reminds me of when we went skinny-dipping in the Lake at Central Park,’ Trevor laughed.
‘I have no recollection of that,’ Kate lied.
‘Ah yes, your selective memory problem.’
‘That’s not the problem. You are! And forgetting you is the solution.’
‘How’s that been working out for ya?’ Trevor winked.
Kate tried to think of a snappy comeback but she couldn’t find the right thing to say.
‘Come on, darling, use your words,’ he said, knowing it would annoy her even further.
‘I’m speechless with anger!’
‘Well, another stunt like that and I’ll make it four dates, instead of three.’
‘You’re bluffing!’ she said.
‘Try me.’
Kate couldn’t risk it. She needed that annulment. He had all the power. She had to keep her eyes on the prize. This was all a game. And she needed to win, even if it meant playing by his rules.
‘So, are you ready to behave?’
‘Fine,’ she said in defeat.
‘Good girl.’