Chapter 21
Late-night Lurking
Kate woke up in the middle of the night around 3 a.m.
She had the most dreadful dream.
She was standing at the altar, unable to say her vows to Norman. The entire church was looking at her with dagger eyes as she became more and more tongue tied. Then, out of nowhere, her teeth began to fall out, one by one. Her friends and family looked at her in shame as she desperately tried to gather her teeth from the church floor. Then she saw Trevor, standing at the church door with a white light shining behind him. He was the only one who wasn’t looking at her in disgust. He had his usual annoying smirk painted across his face.
That’s when she woke up.
Kate rolled over in the bed to see the girls sleeping in their beds. Chloe was wearing earplugs and a silk eye mask beside her. Natalie was in the other bed, snoring like a jackhammer and occasionally talking in her sleep.
‘Peppa, please let my family go,’ Natalie said, sleep-talking.
Siobhan was absent, having decided to wait around after the Chippendales show to meet the cast. She had obviously scored. Kate hoped she was okay, but reminded herself that Siobhan was always in control.
Meanwhile, Kate felt like she had no control whatsoever. Not only was Trevor making her life a living hell but now he was penetrating her dreams too. Wasn’t it bad enough that he was torturing her consciously? Did he really have to torment her subconscious as well? But the worst part of it was that the more time she spent with him, the less she hated him.
She feared she was warming to him. He was annoyingly charming and irritatingly handsome. His behaviour was downright ridiculous but there was something charismatic about even his most outrageous actions. Crashing a male strip show just to prove dentists weren’t sexy, for example. Where did he get the audacity? It was something only he would do. His behaviour was so quintessentially him. He was so brash, so brazen, so bold.
And yet, she found herself smiling.
He was getting under her skin, the very same way he had nine years ago. It was those sporadic glimpses of the tender man beneath the façade of extravagance. The soft heart underneath the flashy armour. But for all she knew it was part of the act. He could have been feigning vulnerability to make her fall for him. Was it working?
No.
He was just a wordsmith, that was all. He always knew just what to say to get her flustered. Why did he enjoy toying with her so much? And why was she starting to enjoy it? But she couldn’t think those forbidden thoughts. She had to remain as cold and distant as possible. She might have been warming to him but she hadn’t melted yet. All Kate needed was to remind herself of the fuckboy he really was.
And she knew exactly how to do it.
She leaned over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. Opening Instagram, she navigated to her blocked list. If anything could remind her of who Trevor Rush really was, it was his Insta feed.
As she scrolled through her blocked list, however, she was surprised by how long it was. She had blocked a significant number of people over the years. But they all deserved it, to be fair. They were mostly strange men asking her for feet pics, girls from secondary school caught up in pyramid schemes and bots telling her she had won competitions she had never even entered. But then at the very bottom of the list, she saw the first person she had ever blocked.
@TrevorRushOfficial
Ugh, the arrogance. Official? He was a DJ, not some A-lister.
His blue tick irritated her. Not because he didn’t deserve to be verified but because he used to hate social media. Kate was actually the one who forced him to join Instagram that summer. He said he liked to live in the moment, but she explained that social media could be used as a tool to promote himself and grow a following. She had been right, of course. She always was. But it was frustrating that she had to beg him to join Instagram and now he was verified with two million followers.
Just another example of women building men up and getting torn down in return.
The night they said goodbye was actually the night he finally agreed to join. He conceded that it would be a great way to keep up with each other’s lives as they did long distance. Texting internationally was expensive, so it made sense for them to communicate through Instagram. After she took the Polaroid of them in front of the Statue of Liberty, he said he finally had a photo worth posting. He took a picture of the Polaroid with his phone and uploaded it there and then. She still remembered the caption he had written.
To be continued . . .
She had posted a photo of the Polaroid too, of course. It was very 1989 cover energy after all, an aesthetic Kate was obsessed with. But after Trevor had cheated on her, she deleted it, along with every other photo she had posted of him.
Scorched earth.
What else was she supposed to do? After all, he had scorched her heart.
Her finger hovered over the unblock button for a moment. She had sworn she would never unblock him, but she knew she could just block him again immediately after she took a peek. And as soon as she hit the button and opened his profile, Kate found exactly what she was looking for.
Hundreds of photos that epitomized exactly the type of man he was. Trevor on party yachts, surrounded by beautiful models. Trevor on skyscrapers, popping champagne. Trevor in limos, pools, planes, living the hedonistic life of a playboy. By the looks of things, Trevor Rush didn’t just go to parties.
Trevor Rush was the party.
Her stomach turned when she saw all the women in his comments. She could tell they were all tens by their profile pics alone. They all essentially said the same thing on each of his posts. They were mostly a barrage of fire emojis but some also said, ‘See you soon’, ‘Best DJ in Vegas’ or ‘Zaddy’. As if that wasn’t nauseating enough, she saw that Trevor had replied to some of the comments with cheeky winky faces. Classic him. He loved the attention from these women, and she had no doubt his DMs were just as full as his comments section. She hated the way these women fuelled his ego. Wasn’t he vain enough already without endless praise? But then again, he had them all fooled, just as he had fooled her nine years prior.
That’s when Kate decided to click on the messages button on his profile to see if their old texts were still there. Surprisingly, after almost a decade of countless Instagram updates, all their conversations were still readable, like a time capsule of their relationship.
But the first messages she saw were the last ones they exchanged.
Trevor: Can’t talk, in a meeting
Kate: Trevor,
I’ve been doing some thinking and I’ve decided not to come back to New York next summer. My life is here, and what we had was really just a summer fling. We’re not right for each other and I think it’s best if we go our separate ways.
All the best 
That was the moment she had blocked him. It almost killed her to do it, especially considering she saw that he had seen the message and was typing a response. But it was the right thing to do. She couldn’t let him have the last word. She was far too proud for that.
Looking back now, though, her message did seem rather cold. They had been madly in love and she had sent him such a stock break-up message. It was as basic as it was ruthless. And that thumbs up emoji was downright brutal, a merciless mic-drop if ever there was one. It was no wonder he was desperate to know her real reasons for dumping him. For a brief moment, she wondered how he must have felt.
But that line of thinking was ridiculous. Trevor Rush didn’t deserve any sympathy. She was right to have been a savage. He had savagely destroyed her self-esteem, after all, even if he didn’t know it. And he would never know it. Admitting to Trevor that he had ruined her represented a kind of victory for a man like him. Heartbreakers must get a thrill from breaking hearts. Why else would they do it? It would have only been a matter of time before he dumped her. And she never would have recovered if she had been cheated on and dumped. She was still proud of her decision to have the last word.
Kate suddenly found herself curious as to how he had gotten to where he was today. It was somewhat of a meteoric rise from deadbeat DJ to King of Vegas, after all. Kate knew she should just block him again and go back to sleep, but she couldn’t stop herself from looking at his timeline in chronological order. She wanted to see the story of Trevor’s success.
From the beginning.
Kate began to scroll quickly through his feed, ignoring most of the posts as she went. Her finger flicked the screen again and again, trying to get to the bottom. But there were a lot of posts. Even more than Chloe, and that was saying a lot. All this from a man who used to hate social media? He certainly adapted quickly. She continued to scroll until finally, she reached the start of his feed.
That’s when Kate’s breath suddenly hitched.
His very first photo was still the Polaroid of him with her.
He hadn’t deleted it.
Kate sat up in the bed, blindsided by what she was seeing. There they were, standing in front of the Statue of Liberty, madly in love. Why the hell hadn’t he deleted it? It didn’t make any sense. Kate had wiped her Insta clear of Trevor Rush and yet she was still the first photo on his timeline. Her heart was in her mouth as she read the caption.
To be continued . . .
She was having major palpitations. This photo didn’t fit the playboy image of Trevor Rush. It was completely off-brand. And yet there it was. On the screen, sending shockwaves through her body. Her flutters had returned with a vengeance. Her mind was desperately trying to despise him, but her body was dancing with desire. It just seemed so romantic that he hadn’t deleted the photo. And not romance with an ulterior motive, either. It felt pure. It required a deep dive to find but there it was, for the world to see. Beneath the photos of wealth and extravagance was another glimpse of his true, tender self.
Due to the nature of phone cameras at the time, the quality of the image wasn’t great, and so she zoomed in to see the smaller details in the photo.
But then, catastrophe.
Kate accidentally double clicked the photo and LIKED it. Which meant Trevor would get a notification that she had just liked the photo of them as a couple!
She smashed the unlike button and flung her phone to the bottom of the bed. She needed to stay calm. Trevor had lots of followers, which meant lots of likes. Maybe her like would get lost in a barrage of notifications. He probably wouldn’t even notice.
But then her phone beeped.
She leaned forward to pick it back up and saw the notification.
@TrevorRushOfficial started following you.
‘No, no, no, no, no,’ Kate whispered.
Chloe rolled over in her sleep from the noise but thankfully didn’t wake up. This couldn’t be happening. Trevor would never let her live this down. That’s when a message from him appeared.
Trevor: I saw that, Freckles ;)
This was officially a trainwreck. She hadn’t a leg to stand on. And she couldn’t ignore him. He knew she was online and she had nowhere to hide. She had no choice but to reply.
Kate: I don’t know what you’re talking about . . .
Trevor: Stalking me at 3 a.m.? Damn, you’ve got it bad ;)
Kate: Oh shut up, it was an accident!
Trevor: So you unblocked me at 3 a.m., scrolled to the very bottom of my timeline and liked a photo of us as a couple . . . by accident?
Kate: My finger slipped!
Trevor: Just like when I slipped a ring on your finger ;)
Kate: You’re impossible!
Why are you even awake?
Trevor: I’m working on a project.
Why are you awake?
Kate: None of your business
Trevor: Dreaming of me, I assume ;)
Trevor: Sometimes nightmares reveal our deepest desires ;)
Kate: I’m going to sleep!
Trevor: Good girl.
You’ll need your rest for the Grand Canyon tomorrow
Oh, and if you block me again, I’ll add an extra date to our agreement ;)
Kate: That’s not fair!
Trevor: I think it’s very fair.
You stalked my timeline. It’s time for me to stalk yours
Goodnight Freckles ;)
Kate would have screamed were it not for the girls sleeping soundly.
How had she been so careless? One stupid like and suddenly Trevor had access to her entire Instagram feed. And she was powerless to stop him. If she blocked him again, he would prolong the nightmare she was in. She began to panic about the posts she had on her timeline. Her mind began to race about what Trevor would see.
Oh God, he would see what Norman looked like. He would see everything from their couple pics to their engagement announcement. Perhaps she should go through her photos and archive the ones she didn’t want Trevor to see.
No.
She wasn’t going to allow Trevor to get her flustered like this. What did she care? She loved Norman and maybe Trevor should see him. See what a gentleman looked like – the kind of man who doesn’t spend every night drinking champagne and partying with models. The kind of man who doesn’t flirt with absolutely everyone. The kind of man who doesn’t cheat. Trevor could scroll through all the photos he wanted.
She refused to let it bother her.
Thankfully, she had deleted any posts about her failed music career. At the time, she had tried to promote her song ‘Your Scar’ as an independent artist. It seemed so easy at the time. Put your music online and get discovered. That happened all the time, didn’t it? Turns out it didn’t. Without a label behind her, Kate was pretty much singing into the abyss, unheard by any of the right people. But all those posts were gone so she didn’t have to worry about Trevor finding them.
Kate decided to continue her stalking, considering he was doing the same. She began to scroll upwards from the past to the present, following the story of how @TrevorRush became @TrevorRushOfficial. From what she gathered, he had continued to play shows in New York after she left. But they seemed larger in scale. They were certainly not the dive bar gigs she had gone to see him in. Slowly but surely, the venues got bigger and bigger and assumedly, his fanbase grew from there. It actually made sense considering his talent. He could turn any event into an unforgettable night with his skills. They used to joke that he could turn a retirement home bingo night into Ibiza with his remixes.
There was a part of her that was happy his talent was recognized. But of course, the other part of her wished his music career crashed and burned, the way hers had. They planned on being a duo but only one of them had succeeded solo. It was a natural feeling, in fairness. After all, does anyone really want to see their cheating ex succeed?
Halfway through Trevor’s timeline, Kate got yet another pang, this one far greater than the last. In one of his photos was the woman Kate had seen.
The woman Trevor kissed on the cheek.
The woman he led inside.
The woman he cheated on her with.
She felt a lump in her throat as she looked at the image on the screen. The woman was every bit as stunning as Kate remembered. In the photo, she and Trevor were both laughing candidly at some kind of red carpet event. The woman was surely a model, and they were clearly some kind of power couple. But it was the caption that really tore Kate’s heart out of her chest.
Behind every great man is an even greater woman.
The rotten, two-faced, slimy bastard. It was the phrase Trevor used to say to Kate. And suddenly it was the caption for his photo of the woman who he had cheated on her with. There were no words to describe her rage. He had even used that phrase on their date at the Venice canal. It was clearly just some sort of pick-up line he used on everyone.
Had he no shame?
She took a screenshot to show the girls the following morning. They would surely be just as appalled as she was. And to think she was developing a soft spot for him after seeing she was still his first photo. He clearly didn’t delete any pictures of women he had slept with. Maybe he wanted women to say, ‘Who’s she?’ as a way of making them jealous. Was there no end to his mind games? Well, she refused to play. She decided she wasn’t jealous, not even a single bit.
Kate clicked on the woman in the photo to see if she was tagged. Her profile name came up when she tapped the screen.
@Viola89
Of course her name was Viola. A gorgeous name for a gorgeous woman. And of course she was born in 1989, literally the best year a person could possibly be born in. Kate clicked the tag to open her profile. But she was immediately disappointed.
Private Account. Request to Follow.
30 posts. 1,320 followers. 950 following.
Kate would have given anything to find out who this woman was. But maybe it was for the best that she couldn’t see more of her. Kate’s self-esteem was fragile enough without her comparing herself to some picture-perfect model. It wouldn’t serve any purpose. Considering this was the woman Trevor had cheated on her with, obsessing over her would only re-open the wound she had spent nine years trying to heal. She reminded herself that she was not jealous. Not one bit.
She had a man at home who didn’t constantly try to drive her insane. And she realized that, with the time difference, Norman would be awake. It was the perfect time to text.
Kate: Hey Normie, my mother called to say you were worried
I just want you to know that I’m safe and everything is fine
Miss you x
Norman: Spoke with Margaret again
We are very worried about your mental state
Kate: There is nothing to worry about Normie
I just need you to trust me x
Norman: You’re making it very hard for me to trust you Kate
Imagine if I had a stag party and extended it by two days and didn’t even bother to check in every hour
Kate: I promise everything is under control
I love you and I will see you on Wednesday x
Kate locked her phone and put it back on the nightstand. She had hoped that texting Norman would make her feel better after Trevor’s social media mind games. Sadly, she had been mistaken. But even though she felt herself far worse off than she had been before, she remembered that she initially opened Trevor’s profile to remind herself how much of a fuckboy he was.
Well, mission accomplished.