Chapter 22

The Third Date

‘Come on, it’s almost three! We’re going to be late!’ Chloe said as she waited for the girls to finish getting ready in the hotel room. She was still red raw with sunburn but that wasn’t going to stop her missing out on a photo opportunity.

‘For once, Chloe is ready first,’ Natalie laughed.

‘I just don’t want to miss it!’

‘Chloe, the Grand Canyon is six million years old. It’s not going anywhere,’ Kate said, as she finished her makeup.

‘Well, Trevor said we’re seeing it from above and I want to get some good content from the helicopter. We need as much daylight as possible,’ Chloe explained.

‘I want to see as little daylight as possible. I’m hungover again,’ Siobhan groaned as she sprawled on the bed.

‘Oh come on, Siobhan, it’s going to be a great day.’

‘I was having a great day until 10 a.m.’

‘What happened at 10 a.m?’

‘I woke up.’

‘In God knows whose bed,’ Natalie said, in a judgemental tone.

‘It was the waiter from Chippendales’ bed actually,’ Siobhan bragged.

‘And what was his name?’ Natalie asked, knowing she wouldn’t have an answer.

‘His name? It was a hook-up, not a wedding. I’m not Kate, going around marrying everyone.’

‘HEY!’ Kate said.

‘But maybe you should ease up on the hook-ups, Siobhan. You don’t want a venereal disease,’ Natalie suggested.

‘Jealousy is a disease too, Nat,’ Siobhan said, smugly. ‘Get well soon.’

‘I’m not jealous! I’m just worried!’

‘I can’t believe you, of all people, turned out to be a prude. You literally dressed up as a clitoris last Halloween!’

‘That’s because I was trying to avoid my ex-boyfriend Mark. I knew that was the only way he wouldn’t find me!’

‘Be that as it may, you were supposed to get the ride on this holiday and you’ve made zero effort!’

‘Well, not all of us have the stamina to sleep with three guys in three days.’

‘Oh give me a break,’ Siobhan said. ‘Can you imagine if a man pulled three women on a stag party? He’d be given a fucking parade and called a living legend for the rest of his life. What happened to sex-positive feminism?’

‘Yeah, but when I said “fuck the patriarchy”, I didn’t mean fuck the entire patriarchy.’

‘Trust me, girls, society will call you a slut no matter what you do in life. So you might as well get the ride.’

‘Okay, are we all ready to go?’ Chloe said, interrupting them. Her patience had officially run out.

‘Yes,’ Kate said, finishing putting on her mascara. ‘But I just want to say, for the record, that I’m not happy about this. The plan was to hike the Grand Canyon.’

‘I think your plan went out the window a long time ago, Kate,’ Siobhan laughed.

Kate knew there was no point in denying it. Her plan had well and truly gone up in flames. But still, she was excited she was getting to see the Grand Canyon. It would have been nice to have seen it on the ground, but a view from the sky wasn’t exactly something to whine about. If anything, it could be better. And, to Trevor’s credit, it was nice of him to invite the girls.

But she was still mad at him after what she had seen on Instagram in the middle of the night.

‘Nobody be nice to Trevor today by the way,’ Kate instructed.

‘I could have sworn you were just getting to like him,’ Chloe said.

‘I almost made the mistake of warming to him. But then I stalked his Instagram last night.’

‘Now you’re speaking my language! What did you find?’

‘Well, his first pic is still the one of me and him. The Polaroid of us in front of the Statue of Liberty. The night we said goodbye.’

‘He never deleted it? That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard! I’m literally going to cry!’

‘That’s what I thought, but then I also found a photo of him with the woman he cheated on me with. Her name is Viola and she’s clearly some kind of runway model.’

‘Let’s see,’ Natalie said.

Kate sighed and took out her phone. She opened up the screenshot and showed the girls the pic of her.

‘WOW! She’s the hottest woman I’ve ever seen,’ Natalie said, practically drooling. ‘I’d call her Mommy.’

‘Show me,’ Chloe said, looking at the picture. ‘Holy shit.’

‘Can we not rub salt in the wound please?’ Kate begged.

‘But Kate, you said you’re still his first pic. That’s gotta mean something. And you’re every bit as gorgeous as that Viola woman,’ Chloe said.

‘Ugh, Viola is such a hot name!’ Natalie said, smitten.

‘Okay, we get it,’ Kate said, snatching the phone away from them. ‘I’m Dolly and she’s Jolene. She’s a million times better than me and I’ll never compare.’

‘Kate, no one is better than Dolly Parton. She’s literally the only thing Americans can agree on.’

‘Well, it doesn’t matter either way because now I know I made the right decision by leaving him back then. Rule number one, never be someone’s number two. Trevor is still very much a fuckboy, so we are not going to be nice to him today. That means no flirting, Siobhan.’

‘Oh come on! If he dumps you for me, it’ll solve all your problems. I’m just trying to be a good friend!’ Siobhan said.

‘So selfless,’ Kate laughed.

‘Right, come on!’ Chloe said. ‘It’s time to go!’

The girls took the elevator to the ground floor of the Bellagio and walked outside. Trevor was waiting for them, as expected. But when Kate saw what he was leaning against, her jaw dropped to the floor.

Because Trevor was leaning against a pink Hummer limo.

The exact same one the girls had wanted at the airport.

‘Now that’s what I call a ride,’ Siobhan said to the girls. ‘And the limo’s not bad either.’

‘Siobhan, please don’t make his ego any bigger,’ Kate whispered as they approached him.

‘Your carriage awaits, ladies,’ Trevor said, gesturing towards the pink beast.

He knew exactly what he was doing. She had stupidly let it slip about the girls wanting the Hummer limo, and now he was getting them on his side by hiring it. Kate should have known he’d pull a stunt like this. After his striptease, he was seemingly willing to do anything just to infuriate her.

‘Shall we?’ he said, opening the gargantuan door.

The girls were shocked when they sat inside. The interior was something else. Everything was pink. There were pink leather seats, a pink fluffy carpet, a pink TV and a pink bottle of champagne.

‘Jesus, it’s like fifty shades of pink in here,’ Natalie said, looking around.

‘Well, I know how much you girls wanted to rent this. And I feel bad for hijacking your bachelorette party,’ Trevor said.

‘Look who’s suddenly grown a conscience,’ Kate muttered.

‘Fuck me pink, is that a stripper pole?’ Siobhan said, seeing a pink cylinder stretching from the roof to the floor.

‘It most certainly is,’ Trevor said, closing the door behind them. ‘Lorenzo, the airfield please.’

Lorenzo started the engine and drove them towards their destination. Trevor pulled a pink bottle out of a bucket of ice and presented it to the girls. ‘Pink champagne, ladies?’

‘Good Lord,’ Kate sighed. Talk about overkill.

‘Something the matter, darling?’

‘Just seems like a little much, don’t you think?’

‘Nothing is too much for my wife.’

‘Well, I would love some pink champagne, Trevor. I need the hair of the dog,’ Siobhan said, still dying from her hangover.

Trevor popped the champagne and filled up Siobhan’s, Natalie’s and Chloe’s glasses. ‘And for the bride, perhaps a champagne shower?’ he suggested.

‘Perhaps not,’ she said, putting on a fake smile.

‘So, Trevor . . .’ Siobhan said as she sipped her drink. ‘That was quite a show you put on last night.’

‘Well, I’ve always considered myself an entertainer. I hope my pelvic thrusts weren’t too much for you girls.’

‘Not at all.’

‘Well I, for one, might sue you for whiplash,’ Kate said.

‘Personally, I like a little whiplash now and then,’ Siobhan said, winking at Trevor.

‘Oh Siobhan, if only I wasn’t married,’ Trevor winked, clearly trying to make Kate jealous.

‘We can be unmarried right now, darling,’ Kate said. ‘One signature and you’re free.’

‘Nice try, Freckles.’

‘I do have some feedback on the striptease though, Trevor,’ Siobhan went on. ‘You really should have taken off the Speedos and done the helicopter. I mean, give the crowd what they want, right?’

‘What do you think, Freckles?’ Trevor asked, eager to enrage her.

‘I think that would have violated several of the Geneva Conventions,’ Kate said.

‘Hmm . . . well, it’s always good to leave them wanting more.’

‘Or have them wanting to leave.’

Kate took out her phone to appear unbothered by Trevor’s attempts to annoy her. She was due to text Norman anyway.

Kate: Hey Normie, we’re on our way to the Grand Canyon now.

Miss you x

Norman didn’t respond immediately like he usually did, which Kate found a little odd. But when she looked closer, she saw that the message hadn’t delivered yet. He would surely reply as soon as it did.

‘Does this beautiful pink dream machine have an AUX cord by any chance?’ Siobhan said, taking out her phone.

‘Over here,’ Natalie said, handing it to her.

Siobhan connected her phone and finally got to use the hen party playlist she had finely crafted. A few seconds later, Shania Twain’s ‘Man, I Feel Like a Woman’ roared through the speakers.

The girls all began to scream with excitement. Even Kate couldn’t contain herself.

‘YAAASSSS!’ Chloe roared.

‘This hen party was missing this song, big time,’ Natalie said.

‘Now, Trevor Rush,’ Siobhan said, getting up on the stripper pole. ‘Let me show you how a striptease is really done.’

After a few glasses of pink champagne and several different pole-based choreographies by Siobhan, the Hummer limo arrived at the airfield. But when the girls got out of the car, they were surprised by what they saw. They were expecting a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon, but before their eyes was a small private jet.

‘Wait, where’s the helicopter?’ Kate asked.

‘Oh so you do want the helicopter?’ Trevor said.

‘I mean the one that was supposed to give us a tour of the Grand Canyon!’

‘I never said we were taking a chopper. We’re seeing it by plane.’

‘A plane won’t even get us close to the ground,’ Kate said annoyed. ‘We’ll barely see a thing!’

‘Yeah, I was hoping for some good content,’ Chloe said, disappointed.

‘I promise it’s the best view of the canyon money can buy,’ Trevor said. ‘But you’ll all have to leave your bags in the limo – there’s a weight limit on the plane.’

The girls threw their handbags in the Hummer before climbing up the small plane staircase. When they got into the cabin, they saw three rugged-looking men in suits waiting for them. They were rather strange characters. All three were extremely attractive, there was no doubt about that, but the suits . . . well, they didn’t suit them.

‘Oh sweet baby Jesus,’ Siobhan said, as soon as she saw their guests.

‘Ladies, I’d like you to meet Michael, William and Luke. Your dates for this afternoon,’ Trevor said.

‘I’ll take William,’ Kate said, spitefully.

‘I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Freckles.’

Kate was confused. Why had Trevor brought dates for Siobhan, Natalie and Chloe? It was a bizarre move. And there was something strange about the men, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. But as she looked at the girls’ jaws on the floor, she didn’t bother to question it. They seemed happy and she genuinely wanted them to enjoy themselves. The hen party was as much for them as it was for her, and even though the itinerary had been derailed, Kate was glad they were still having fun.

‘Captain, wheels up in five,’ Trevor shouted into the cockpit.

During the flight, the girls were getting to know the three men, individually. Siobhan had gone for Michael because he looked like the strongest of the three. ‘So, Michael,’ she said, flirtatiously. ‘Not to brag but I happen to be a certified member of the mile high club.’

‘Oh really?’ Michael smiled. ‘That makes two of us.’

‘Interesting. What do you say we renew our membership?’

Chloe had been drawn to William because his name made him sound like royalty, and she was a sucker for that kind of thing.

‘Do you know when the best time will be to take some pics?’ Chloe asked, looking out the window.

‘Not for a little while. But I can take some photos of you now, if you’d like?’ William suggested.

‘I . . . I think that’s the nicest thing a man has ever said to me,’ Chloe said, tears in her eyes.

Natalie ended up with Luke, in the hopes his personality would arouse some interest. But she found herself rather nauseous on the plane.

‘Sorry, I’m a very bad flyer,’ Natalie said. ‘How often do planes crash?’

‘Just once,’ Luke said.

‘Oh God. I need to distract myself. Tell me, Luke . . . what date and time were you born?’ Natalie asked, eager to read his birth chart.

‘Well . . . I was born on the seventeenth of March. I don’t know what time though,’ he admitted.

‘Oh wow, Pisces is literally my favourite sign. And you were born on St Patrick’s Day. And I’m Irish. Please tell me you have an Aries moon. Oh my God, this is so exciting! We actually might be compatible!’

‘What was your name again?’ Luke asked, terrified.

As Kate looked out the window, she wondered how much longer it would be before she could see the Grand Canyon. She was slightly concerned because the plane was above the clouds and she could barely make out the surface. She feared that when they passed over it, it wouldn’t even look like much.

She wished she could have just stuck with the plan and gone hiking through it. That was what most people did. This entire ostentatious plane ride didn’t appear to serve much of a purpose apart from Trevor showing off. She didn’t care for Lamborghinis and private jets. He should have figured out by now that material things didn’t impress her. And yet, the plane seemed rather bare for a private jet. It was far from luxurious, and from the looks of things, it didn’t even have a bar.

‘Why are we here exactly?’ Kate asked him eventually.

‘To see the Grand Canyon, of course,’ Trevor shrugged.

‘Nobody wants to see it by plane. We’re way too high up and the windows are tiny. Something about this doesn’t feel right.’

‘Your instincts are once again razor-sharp, Mrs Rush.’

‘So I was right? You’re up to something?’

‘Maybe.’

‘Oh God. I know what it is. These men are strippers from last night, aren’t they? I knew they looked weird in those suits. They’re naked under those clothes!’

‘We’re all naked under our clothes, Freckles.’

‘Let me guess,’ Kate said, unimpressed. ‘This is about to turn into some inescapable striptease!’

‘I’m afraid it’s far worse than that.’ Trevor got up out of his seat and began to address the entire group. ‘Ladies, if you look out to your right, you’ll see that we are approaching the Grand Canyon,’ he said.

The girls all went over to the windows and looked down. They could make out the red and orange hue of the rock below them but it didn’t exactly blow them away. Chloe began to zoom in for a good picture of the arid, rocky landscape but it was incredibly blurry from their current altitude.

‘We can barely see it from up here,’ Chloe sighed.

‘I’m aware of that,’ Trevor said. ‘Which is why it’s time I revealed my true ulterior motive.’

The girls looked around in confusion.

‘What kind of ulterior motive?’ Natalie asked.

‘You see, Michael, William and Luke aren’t actually your dates today,’ Trevor smirked. ‘They’re your skydiving instructors.’