As they walked along the Vegas Strip towards a mysterious final stop, Kate’s mind was in a frenzy.
Suddenly everything had changed. Trevor wasn’t the cheater she had spent nine years believing he was. It had all been completely innocent. His manager had simply visited him for his twenty-third birthday with a bottle of wine and he had kissed her on the cheek in a friendly, platonic manner. Kate had jumped to the mother of all conclusions and assumed that their relationship was romantic – when it was anything but!
How could she have been so stupid?
And more importantly, how was she going to tell Trevor that she had dumped and blocked him based on an idiotic misreading of a situation? Her stomach was churning as she tried to find the words.
Trevor’s ‘infidelity’ had left her with an all-encompassing sense of worthlessness. It was even the reason behind her falling for Norman. Her self-esteem was in the gutter when he came along. The fact that he showed her any kind of affection at all made her feel temporarily healed. That was why her personality had changed so dramatically. From a reckless, wild-at-heart party girl to a reserved, organized, control freak. Because Trevor cheating made Kate ask herself a terrible question: ‘What did I do wrong?’
That’s when she decided to never do anything wrong again. She would be whatever kind of woman Norman wanted her to be. That way, he would never cheat. She became a malleable shell of her former self so that she would never be hurt again. That was how she had become such a people-pleaser.
But Trevor hadn’t hurt her after all. She had sacrificed her very essence based on a complete misunderstanding.
‘So did you ever think you’d hear your song being played in one of the biggest nightclubs in the world?’ Trevor asked as they strolled.
‘Honestly, I’m still not sure that even happened,’ Kate said, still in shock.
Her brain was so preoccupied with telling Trevor the truth that she wasn’t able to enjoy the moment. She had a lump in her throat the size of a golf ball, and the thought of explaining herself made her want to throw up.
‘Well, I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of uploading it to YouTube.’
‘YOU DID WHAT?’
‘Relax, I just wanted to give people a chance to go stream it after the club. That’s how a lot of people gain a following,’ he explained.
‘Trevor, I didn’t ask you to do that,’ Kate panicked. She took out her phone and opened YouTube. ‘What’s it called on here?’
‘“Your Scar” by Kate. Trevor Rush Remix.’
Kate searched the song and it came up immediately. When she clicked on it, she saw it had 1,540 views. It had already outperformed her own acoustic version. But at least it hadn’t gone viral or anything. She didn’t know if she would be ready for that.
‘It has about fifteen hundred views,’ Kate said.
‘Not bad for the first hour. Once it blows up on YouTube, that’ll give Charlie some leverage with record labels. But honestly, she won’t even need it. Once they hear your voice, it’ll all take off.’
‘This all just seems like it’s happening too fast.’
‘Kate, what are you so afraid of? You have an amazing voice and the world deserves to hear it. What could possibly be so terrible about that?’
‘But what if I flop?’ she panicked.
‘Oh, Freckles,’ he laughed. ‘What if you fly?’
‘I don’t know, Trevor – my mind is going a mile a minute.’
She was all over the place since learning who Charlie was. The woman she had hated for nine years was suddenly going to be sending her song to record companies? Kate hated feeling stupid in any situation but she had never experienced this level of regret for an idiotic mistake before.
‘Kate, we live in a world where the right person hearing your voice can change your life. Nine years ago, you told me I had what it takes and you were right. But when I tell you that you have what it takes, you don’t believe me. It doesn’t make sense.’
‘I gave up on that dream, Trevor.’
‘No, you gave up on yourself. Well, guess what, I never gave up on you, not for one second. We could achieve anything if we stay together. We could travel the world making music.’
Kate felt her phone vibrating in her handbag again. Norman seriously needed to get lost.
‘Is that him again? The man you’ve convinced yourself you love?’
‘I do love Norman!’
‘But you’re not in love with him. There’s a difference. That summer we shared, Kate, that is what it means to be in love,’ Trevor said.
‘I wanted that summer to last for ever,’ she said, welling up.
‘It could have. You’re the one who left and never came back.’
Trevor stopped walking and turned to look up. They had arrived at the Vegas replica of the Statue of Liberty. Kate knew what he was doing. Their honeymoon around the world had finally come full circle.
‘Trevor . . .’
‘This is the way it was supposed to be, Kate. It was always supposed to be continued. You were supposed to come back to New York so we could build a life together. So we could make music together. And then on the seventeenth of November – my birthday by the way – you dumped me. With the coldest of messages that didn’t explain anything. And then, when I tried to reply, your profile disappeared. I tried calling but the call wouldn’t go through either. I thought I was going crazy, so I tried to get in touch with Siobhan, Natalie and Chloe. But they had all vanished too. And then it hit me. I’d been blocked. On everything. Ditched, in the cruellest way possible. Without you even bothering to tell me why. I didn’t know your Irish address so I couldn’t even write to you. I had no way of finding out why the love of my life threw me away. Have you any idea how that can break a person?’ Trevor said.
‘I never meant to break you. I thought you broke me.’
‘How? How did I break you?’ he said, begging for answers. ‘Why did you completely cut me out of your life like I was nothing?’
‘You weren’t nothing, Trevor. You were my everything!’ Kate said, tears in her eyes.
‘That’s still not a proper answer. I know you wrote “Your Scar” about me. That’s why you didn’t want me to find it.’
‘Of course it’s about you!’ she admitted.
‘But what scar did I give you? I never did anything wrong by you. I always promised I would never hurt you!’
‘Then tell me the truth. Because I know our love is real. I know you were meant to come to Vegas. I know we were meant to find each other again. And if you don’t feel the same, then why did you kiss me on the Omnia stage?’
‘I can’t remember why I kissed you!’
‘Then let me remind you,’ he said.
Trevor took Kate in his arms and kissed her with every part of his soul. She felt herself melt in the clutches of his kiss as she surrendered to her deepest desires. As the flutters took hold and her body pulsed with passion, she suddenly remembered every one of the million reasons she loved him. She knew she belonged in the sanctuary of his embrace.
No matter how hard she tried to hammer Norman’s jigsaw piece into place, it would never fit. That missing part of her puzzle was in the shape of Trevor. He was the only man who ever made her feel beautiful. She had never liked the way she looked in the mirror. But she loved how she looked in the reflection of his eyes.
He was her first and final love. Not her to be continued.
Her beginning, her middle and her end.
‘You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything,’ he said, pulling back from her.
‘I felt everything,’ Kate said, the dam holding back her tears about to break.
‘Then tell me why you broke my heart. That question has consumed me for nine years. I need to know,’ Trevor begged.
This was it.
The moment she was dreading.
What could she possibly say that wouldn’t make him hate her? She had finally been honest about how she felt about him. But now she feared the truth would tear them apart.
‘Okay, Trevor. You deserve the truth,’ she said, taking a deep breath. ‘I’m just afraid that once I tell you, you won’t forgive me.’
‘What is it?’ he asked, desperate for answers.
‘After I left that summer, I missed you so much that I booked a plane ticket for November to come and see you. I was going to surprise you for your birthday.’
‘You never came to New York that November.’
‘Actually, I did. I got on the plane to New York and took a cab to your apartment in Brooklyn. But . . .’
‘But?’
‘But when I was crossing the street to your building, I saw this gorgeous woman walk in before me. She was one of the most stunning women I’ve ever seen, and she was holding a bottle of wine. You opened the door and kissed her on the cheek. And then the two of you went inside. When I saw that happen, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces,’ Kate said, barely able to get the words out.
Kate could see Trevor’s mind trying to figure it all out. The penny was about to drop.
‘Wait, don’t tell me it was . . .’ he began.
‘It was Charlie.’
There was a piercing silence between them, even with the loud uproar of Vegas booming in the background.
Trevor began to step backwards from her, as if she had repelled him away. He began massaging his temples in frustration. ‘Please tell me you’re joking,’ he said.
‘I tried calling you, but you didn’t answer. And then you sent me a text that said you were in a meeting . . .’
‘Because I WAS in a meeting,’ Trevor said, anger seeping into his voice.
‘I know that now, but at the time it seemed like such a lie. I jumped to the wrong conclusion . . .’
‘No Kate, you LEAPT to the wrong conclusion!’
‘Up until, like, thirty minutes ago, I thought . . .’
‘You thought I cheated on you? The one thing I would NEVER do! That’s why you cut me out of your life? Because Charlie brought me a bottle of wine for my birthday and I kissed her on the cheek?’
‘I didn’t know . . .’
‘FIRST of all, she’s my manager! And even if she wasn’t, she’s not attracted to men! And I’m not attracted to her! She’s been my manager for the past nine years. I even told you that summer that a manager was interested in signing me!’
‘I just assumed Charlie was a man and I never connected the dots!’
‘Oh, you just assumed she was a man because she’s a manager? That’s kinda messed up, Kate.’
‘I know, I know! But I had seen her at one of your gigs and the way she was looking at you, it was like she wanted you . . .’
‘She wanted to SIGN me! She was scouting that night!’
‘But I remember you winking at her.’
‘I wink at everyone!’
‘The way you kissed her on the cheek made me think . . .’
‘We’re both Italian, Kate! It’s not weird to kiss someone on the cheek. She signed me on my birthday and she brought over a bottle of wine to celebrate! Jesus, I can’t believe what I’m hearing,’ Trevor said. There was immense pain in his voice.
‘I thought it was only a matter of time before you dumped me. That’s why I wrote that message. But it was a stupid, stupid mistake . . .’ Kate cried.
‘And here’s a crazy idea, Kate, why didn’t you cross the street and just ASK me who she was? Did you ever consider that?’
‘I was afraid of what I would see if I went inside.’
‘Two sentences, Kate. That’s all it would have taken to avoid this. You would have said, “Who is that woman?” and I would have said “This is my manager, Charlie!” Two sentences would have stopped nine years of pain and confusion!’
‘Trevor, please . . .’ she said, blinded by tears. ‘I was so hurt by what I saw that—’
‘You were hurt? And how do you think I felt to be suddenly dumped and blocked with no explanation? I spent nine years in the dark because you misread a situation!’ Trevor said.
Kate was so upset she couldn’t articulate the words she desperately wanted to tell him. ‘Tell me what to say, Trevor. Tell me how to fix this,’ she cried in desperation.
‘You already did fix it, Kate. You said “I do” at our wedding three nights ago. And after nine years, the hole in my heart finally went away. But the next morning you woke up and said it was a mistake. So you broke my heart by mistake and you fixed my heart by mistake. And now you’re hell-bent on marrying Norman. Another mistake. Might as well make it a trifecta,’ he said, now furious.
‘Trevor, please . . .’
‘You think you can just do whatever you want without thinking about how it might affect others,’ Trevor said. He was looking at her like he didn’t even recognize her. She suddenly hated her reflection in his eyes. She had never felt uglier in her life. She feared he would never see her in the same way again. She would be tainted by her mistake for ever.
‘That’s not fair,’ she cried.
‘Let me just dump and block my long-distance boyfriend and not give him an explanation. It might emotionally cripple him for the rest of his life but who cares?’
‘I never meant to hurt you!’
‘Of course you didn’t. Because nothing is ever your fault, is it? Well, guess what, Kate. This is the last time you’re ever going to hurt me. It’s officially midnight, Cinderella. And I think it’s about time you left the ball.’
‘I need to explain—’
‘Go home, Kate. Go home to Norman’s little cage, and keep believing you’re an ugly duckling who doesn’t deserve to fly. Because at least when you’re locked up there, you can’t mess with my head any more. Give me the annulment!’ Trevor said.
‘Can we please just . . .’
‘GIVE IT TO ME!’
With her hands shaking, Kate reached into her handbag and grabbed the papers. Trevor snatched them from her with lightning force. Suddenly she would have given anything for him not to sign those papers. She didn’t want to be released from him. She wanted to belong to him for eternity.
‘You want rid of me so bad, well here you go!’ Trevor said.
He put the papers down on a nearby ledge and took a pen out of his suit jacket.
‘Trevor, don’t!’ Kate cried. ‘I’m begging you!’
But it was too late. The ink began to flow as he signed his name.
‘There,’ he said. ‘The annulment is officially signed. You got your wish.’
She felt a sharp pain in her heart. All she wanted was for him to rip up the papers and take her back in his arms. ‘This isn’t what I want!’
‘You don’t know what you want, Kate. And I don’t think you ever will. Well, here you go, the annulment is signed. Our marriage never happened. I was nothing but loyal to you, Kate. I promised you I’d never hurt you and I meant it. But instead of trusting me, you broke my heart for something I didn’t even do. Well congratulations, Kate, you finally found my ick.’
‘Trevor, please. I thought you broke my heart,’ she said, flooded with tears.
‘You broke your own heart, Kate. The so-called “scar” in your song? You gave that to yourself. And by the way, it’s nothing compared to the scar you gave me. I’ll take the annulment back to Vinnie myself right now. In the morning, a judge will approve it and you can cut me out of your life again,’ Trevor said, turning to walk away.
Tears were blinding Kate in a haze of regret. ‘Trevor, don’t go!’
‘Oh, one more thing,’ he said, turning back around. ‘My key necklace, you know the one you accused me of using for cocaine? It’s the key to the locket I gave you nine years ago.’ He ripped the necklace off and threw it on the ground.
‘I . . .’ Kate said, looking down.
‘Take it,’ Trevor said. ‘You’ve already taken everything else from me. You might as well have this one last thing.’
Flooded by tears, Kate bent down to pick the key off the ground.
When she looked back up, Trevor was already gone. She searched around frantically for him but he had disappeared into a crowd of tourists.
She knew she couldn’t leave things like this between them. There was still so much left to say. If she could just have more time to explain. To tell him that she still loved him. That she never stopped loving him, even when she hated him. She hadn’t gotten a chance to articulate her feelings properly. Her words had failed her. But then again, what could she possibly say? Did she even deserve his forgiveness? She had punished him so cruelly for something he didn’t even do.
Kate couldn’t let this be the end. She had to chase after him.
She had to win him back.
But that’s when she heard her name being called from behind her.
‘Kate!’ The voice said.
She turned around and got the biggest shock of her life.
‘NORMAN?’ Kate said as she saw her fiancé standing in front of her with his phone in his hand.