Beck had talked to Ross Sangster on the phone several times since their meeting in Brisbane. Most recently she had talked to him twice since his meeting with Susan, first on the following day when he told her how the meeting went and mostly about Susan’s distress when he asked about her memories of crocodiles. He promised Beck his report and video next week once he had agreement from the other side about the video’s contents.
He then rang her earlier today to say he had posted the video express mail and she should have it within two days. Once she viewed it he asked her to call him so they could talk about what to do from here.
Their telephone conversations had become remarkably friendly and frank, she found herself very comfortable talking to this odd man. His cryptic sense of humor gelled with hers; they had subtle mind contests with words and phrases that were both friendly and challenging. She was unsure if she thought he was attractive, but she liked him, liked his company.
He seemed to enjoy talking to her as much as she enjoyed talking to him. Sometimes he gave too much away about this case and the meeting, as if he inherently trusted her not to abuse privileged information. This made her squirm inside when she thought of what she had already done.
He let slip that this girl had two children, a boy and girl, who stayed with a man outside his rooms while she was in the assessment meeting with him. It was obvious, from the way Ross talked about the man, that she and he were in a relationship, not just friends. It came out when he told Beck about her reaction to the crocodile words. He followed that story by saying that, once she calmed down, he brought her back outside to the man who minding their children who and he put his arms around her and comforted her. He also told Beck that, when he asked this girl what she most wanted to do in her life from here, she said she wanted to get married. So, odds on, the person she wanted to marry was to the same person minding her children.
Ross had also used the name Jane once instead of Susan without even realizing he had said it. Beck suspected this was the name she used now. Added to this he said they had driven down to Brisbane from where she lived the afternoon before he met her so this indicated that she was staying within a few hours of Brisbane. Ross also spoke of her taking the children for regular walks along the beach which suggested she lived in a seaside place.
Each bit alone was not much. But, when she put these bits together, it was a lot more than she was supposed to know. It told a story about who this girl was now and gave a much narrower circle around where she lived. She knew it was information that was worth a lot of money.
As she walked out of the building to go home she was torn. She did not want to betray this girl yet again. But her Mum was getting steadily worse, becoming more and more housebound as she lost the strength in her arms to push the wheelchair. Beck really wanted to get her the new chair with the motor, and it would only take one phone call. She promised herself that if she did that, afterwards she would call it quits. She could feel the balance in her mind tipping towards this, but she had to put some protection in as well. She must make sure, if she gave him this story, Jacob would do two things.
The first was that he would never come back again and ask for more, all contact was at an end. The second condition she would require was he not run any story that could lead back to her. So he could not do a piece in the paper that led back to what she told him. He had to use her information to find out the rest of the story himself; the true story of who she was and where she was. He could only go public if he got that story. He must not leak this information in a way where it could be linked back to her. It was not just for her own sake, she could not bear for Ross to ever find out she had used the privileged information he had let slip to harm his client.
In the end she decided she would do nothing until the weekend, three days away. But if, after viewing the tape, it did not change her mind, she would ring Jacob in London on Sunday. She would do it when her mother was taken to church by a neighbor. She would not tell the story at first. Rather she would get a clear agreement to her conditions before she revealed more.
She was locked in her own world, thinking this out as she walked to where her car was parked. Someone was standing in her way, blocking the pavement in front of her. She stepped to the side to go round them. They stepped that way too. She stepped back the other way, they followed.
She felt annoyed and was about to dish out a caustic, “If You Don’t Mind, Get The Fuck Out Of My Way, PLEASE!!!” She looked up, vaguely aware of the dark skin, thinking, Drunk Aborigine.
It was Jacob. He did not look like an aborigine, but his skin was half way to that colour. She was lost for words; he was the one person she did not want or expect to see. She thought she had made up her mind just before to talk to him. But now he was here in person, she realized her mind was still in a state of flux, she needed a couple days to think this through and compose herself before she was ready to talk to him.
He gave her a half grin, saying, “I know you have been doing your best to avoid me, so I decided I had to see you in person. Now I have got to see you, you had better come with me for a drink and a talk. We have important stuff we need to discuss, lots of important stuff.”
She could not mobilize the will to fight him so she meekly followed him as he led her along the street to the bar on the corner, then followed as he went into a corner booth where she sat facing him.
He could feel his sexual magnetism grabbing at her. She knew he was going to proposition her both for more information and a night in bed. She felt powerless to say no to either.
He went and bought them both a drink, remembering her usual gin and tonic from last time. He clinked his glass to hers and took a mouthful as he looked at her thoughtfully. “Here’s to renewing our friendship,” he said.
She lifted her glass in return and took a sip; it did taste good. She took a proper swallow, then thought, “what the hell, my body wants another night with him, and I want the money, what is the harm!”
Three drinks and an hour later she felt fully mellow. With each swallow he looker sexier and sexier. In a dreamy state she let him take her hand, lead her out along the street to his hotel, then into the lift and up to his room.
As he undressed her she felt incredibly horny, pushing the little voice of caution out of her mind. Then he was on top of her on the bed, riding her up and down. While her body was loving it, her mind suddenly snapped back. Why am I doing this? Why am I letting him fuck me?
She shook her head and pushed him away. “This is all wrong. I just want this to be over. I will tell you what you want to know, what I know right now, but only on the condition it ends today, no more sex, no more pestering, no threats of telling anyone anything about me.
“You can take what I give you, see if you can find the girl and get your story. In return you give me the ten thousand dollars I need for a motorized wheelchair for my mother. At least that will be something good to come from the bad thing I have done.
“I don’t know much about this girl but she is better than either of us. She deserves a new life after all the bad that has happened to her. Remember that if you do find her. You are the arsehole in this, not her. Before you smear her name across the tabloids, think, What harm has she ever done to you that entitles you to treat her like this?”
She turned her face and then her body away. She found herself crying quietly. How had she let herself come to this place? She wished it was over now, except for her mother’s need of her and her income, she would throw her job, catch a plane and vanish, try to do the same as this girl was doing, find a new life without a past. She felt anger driving her. She would keep her bad bargain, if he agreed to her terms. But she would end it today.
She grabbed at the sheet and pulled it up over her body, then turned to him with the anger glistening through the tears. “Well, what is it to be. Do you want what I have to tell you, at my price, or shall I just get dressed and leave now?”
She watched the emotions swirl across the dark face. He looked shocked and hurt too at her stinging rebuke. But, despite her mental slap, there was still hunger in his eyes, not hunger for her and her body, that had never had any meaning beyond the sex act, but hunger for her knowledge and for the power and status it would bring him if he could find the girl Susan and write another chapter of her story. It was the hunger of a poor boy, risen to the top, who could feel it all slipping away and could not bear the thought of becoming a nobody again. Despite her anger a part of her felt sorrow and sympathy for his degradation, alongside hers.
He went to his briefcase and pulled out an envelope, it was thick. There are 100 fifty pound notes, in there. “They are yours, right now, no strings. And there is another envelope the same for when you tell me what you know. Then I will leave you alone. I will call it quits, whether I find the girl or not, I will let you alone after today.”
She dressed and then sat in a chair facing him, wanting this to be over fast. “What I know is this. She has been found but we do not know where she is. She has two children. The name she uses now is Jane. I do not know where she lives now, except I think it is somewhere in a coastal town, not too far from Brisbane, perhaps somewhere like the Gold Coast, where she can hide amongst other people. She lives with a man whose name I don’t know and she wants to get married to him as soon as it can be arranged. He treats the children as if he is their father and she loves him. That is the whole of what I know, perhaps it is enough to find her, if you are as good as you say.
“The only thing I ask is that, if you find her you treat her better than you have before. You could still write a good story which would sell and remake your name without harming her, this time you could try to be a little kinder. She deserves decency and a new life.”
For a minute she thought about saying about her memory loss. She also thought of telling about the seeking of a pardon. But the first thing was only the girl’s business and the second was only the law’s business. He did not need either for his story. She felt better not to have surrendered these two small things, as if a corner of her soul had retained something of its own.
He passed her the second envelope with a nod of thanks.
She took it and walked out the door without looking back. Her hand holding the money felt on fire, as if she was holding a burning devil. But, having sold her soul, she would not let the devil go.