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I arrived at noon as promised and within thirty seconds of my pulling into the parking lot, Darlene and the girls came out of the door. Darlene went to her car and took out a car seat and handed Mary a booster to carry to my vehicle. I was glad she had them. I hadn’t even considered that her children needed car seats. Krissy took the seat from her mother and the sullen child walked to my car like she was walking to her execution. She was going to be fun to be around, but now that I knew more about why she had such a sour disposition – aside from living in a shelter – I would work harder to engage the girl. Her mother was tired. Darlene needed help. I wasn’t sure if I could be that help, but for someone reason I wanted to try.
I prayed. “Lord, give me patience and help me to say the right things today.”
The car doors opened and they piled in.
Dave and Busters was packed as always. I hadn’t actually been to the place in years. I mean, years and years and years, but people still talked about how fun it was, so I was sure it was all that I remembered.
I purchased tokens and handed them to Darlene.
“Why are you giving them to me?”
“I don’t have kids, so I’m not sure how to tell your kids to use them. Do you let them run around free or what?” It was an easy lie to tell. The truth was I wanted them to think their mother had the money for the games.
“Run around unsupervised?” Darlene laughed. “Not at these ages, but I can give Krissy a little rope while I supervise Mary. I’m not sure if there’s much that Destiny can do here.”
“There’s a children’s area with those play-gyms for little ones. Maybe you can sit down over there while I keep an eye on Mary.”
Darlene nodded and reached for the water the waitress had brought us.
We placed orders for pizzas and wings and cheese sticks and I think saw a hint of a smile trying to break through on Krissy’s face when the food arrived. All four of them devoured the food. They ate like they hadn’t eaten in years. It occurred to me that the shelter food was lean on protein and probably light on taste. They’d been eating there for months, so this junk food probably tasted like a delicacy.
Thoughts of my own future meals skittered through my mind. The food at Samaritan House was made with some love. The food at Henry County Jail was certain to not be. I realized all I hated for Darlene and her family would soon become my own reality. Six months to a year of tasteless food that I couldn’t get away from. I pushed that thought out of my head. It was far too depressing to focus on.
I reached for a cheese stick and asked, “So, Darlene, do you have a refrigerator in your room?”
“I pay $20 a month for it. It’s small, but we get to keep some milk for cereal and water and stuff. It helps. I get thirsty at night and I like cold water. The kids don’t always want to eat breakfast downstairs on the weekend so we can stay in our room and have some privacy.”
“We have a T.V. too,” Mary said.
“It don’t have no good channels on,” Krissy added sourly as only Krissy could.
“It doesn’t have the best channels, Krissy,” Darlene said, correcting her grammar. Krissy frowned, but parroted the sentence her mother said.
“It got some good channels,” Mary chimed in as she reached for her third slice of pizza. She couldn’t be sixty pounds with weights on her shoulders. I had no idea where she was putting the food.
“You just glad because they have that dumb Nickelodeon channel.”
“It’s not dumb,” Mary protested.
“Krissy, don’t call the things your sister likes dumb.”
Krissy rolled her eyes. “Is it okay if I go to the restroom?”
Darlene pushed herself up out of the seat and said, “I’ll go with you. It’s about that time. Come on, Destiny.” She took the two-year-old’s hand and the three of them walked in the direction of the restroom.
“Am I going to get a chance to play with all that stuff?” Mary’s eyes were wide with anticipation.
I glanced in the direction of the video games and other kid friendly stuff and replied, “As much of it as you want.”
Mary gave me that wide toothless grin. “I ain’t did nothing like that since my daddy took me for my birthday.” Her eyes flashed sadness for a moment, but she didn’t let it consume her.
I bit my lip before asking, “Have you been really sad without your daddy?”
“I didn’t know him that good. He was gone in the army most of the time.”
“But you knew him some,” I said.
“Yeah, I mean, he was my daddy and I loved him, but I was always missing him, so missing him now is almost the same.”
I nodded understanding. Basically, she was saying she couldn’t miss what she never had. “Krissy is sad though. Krissy and my mama. They cry all the time.”
“That’s to be expected.” I smiled at her and decided to change the subject before Darlene came back and heard something she didn’t want to hear coming out of her daughter’s mouth. “So tell me, what is Santa going to bring you for Christmas?”
“Nothing,” she said. “We too poor for Christmas.”
Oh my God. This child reminded me so much of myself. Too poor for Christmas. I remember my mother telling me that when I was about Mary’s age.
“Christmas isn’t just about presents. It’s about the birth of Jesus.”
“I know. That’s what my mama say, but other kids git stuff. We don’t hardly have no toys or clothes. We couldn’t bring our stuff to the shelter. It’s in the storage.”
“Which means you’ll have it in your own room one day.”
“I guess so,” Mary replied. “Mama says we probably out growed all the clothes.” She reached for another chicken wing.
“Little girl, you’re going to have an upset stomach.”
“No, I’m not,” she laughed. “I can eat like a man. That’s what my mama always say.”
“Well, I know you think you’re too poor for Christmas presents, but you never know what might happen, so you should go ahead and tell me what you really want.”
Mary placed a finger under her chin like she was thinking. More of that toothless grin surfaced. “I want an iPad.”
I nearly choked on the drink I had sipped. “An iPad. What are you going to do with an iPad?”
“It’s all kinds of games on there. I saw one when I was at Grandma Jeans house.”
“Grandma Jean,” I asked. “Is that your mama or daddy’s mother?”
“My daddy. My mama don’t have a mama no more. She don’t have that much family. My name is Marleigh after my mama’s mother, but I never met her.”
I nodded. “So, when did you see Grandma Jean’s iPad?”
“Last week. We went to visit and my uncle, Kevin, he had one. I played with for a little while.”
“Uncle Kevin. I think I remember him from high school,” I replied, recalling Kris had a younger brother. A menace he was. He was the complete opposite of Kris.
“Uncle Kevin, he just got out of jail.”
“He did?”
“And he can’t find a job.”
I nodded. So, Kevin Bolton had been in jail. I would have to look him up and find out why. “Did you have a nice visit with Grandma Jean?”
Mary got sad. “No, we don’t have nice visits with her. Her and my mama always argue and she told my mama we couldn’t live there.”
“Your mom was asking to live with her?” I saw Darlene and the kids coming back from the restroom and hated that I wouldn’t get the rest of the story.
“Mama wanted us to stay for two weeks, but Grandma Jean said, no. Kevin has to stay and can’t no kids stay by him.”
I nodded. “Your mom is back. I think we can probably go play something. What do you want to play first?” I asked, getting the child off the subject. I knew Darlene would be furious if she knew Mary was sharing her business.
Darlene claimed a seat. “I feel much better. This baby is wearing me out. Especially my bladder.”
“TMI,” Krissy said. “Can we play something?”
I nodded at Darlene to remind her she had the tokens. She reached into her bag and took out the token cards and handed one to Krissy and Mary. “Krissy, stay where we can see you and no talking to strangers.”
“I know, I know,” Krissy said. “This place ain’t...” she paused, “...isn’t that big.”
“Still,” Darlene pursed her lips. “I want to look up and see you.
Krissy’s mouth got tight, but she didn’t say a word. She left and headed in the direction of the skee-ball.
“I want to do what Krissy is doing,” Mary squealed.
I stood and took her hand. “Let’s go keep her company.”
We joined Krissy, which annoyed the girl, and played skee-ball until Mary was ready to move on to something else.
I thought about the things the child had shared with me. They were in the shelter because their grandmother had chosen to allow her criminal son to live with her rather than her deceased son’s wife and children. I wondered if she knew they were in a shelter or if she thought Darlene was just making do somewhere. It reminded me of my mother. Always putting my cousin June Bug’s needs ahead of mine and he wasn’t even her child. The decisions some women made about their children. I’d lost my child, but I knew if God ever blessed me to have more, I would never, ever, be the kind of mother I grew up with.
We stayed at Dave and Busters until the tokens ran out. Dinner time rolled around and we went to a neighboring restaurant and ate again. Then we walked across the parking lot to the theater to see a movie. I took the Bolton family back to the shelter just before lockdown. I carried Mary while Krissy carried Destiny. It was all that Darlene could do to carry herself. At the door to her room, Darlene turned to me and said, “I forgive you, Samaria.”
I smiled, relieved that I’d made up for my transgression.
“Just don’t talk against Kris Bolton again in life and I might be able to call you a friend.”
She smiled, reached for my hand and squeezed it. I left the building finally feeling good about something I’d done.