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I woke up to the sun shining on my face and beaming from my heart. It was probably going to be the worst day of my life, but I decided I would reconcile that when I closed my eyes behind bars tonight and try really hard to live in the moments I had left. At this moment, the sun was shining.
I turned my head in my husband’s direction. He was still asleep. I couldn’t imagine how he managed to do that with the drapes open. I raised a hand to his chest where his own hand rested across his heart. I touched him, lightly, half hoping he’d wake up and half hoping he’d stay asleep. He stirred and his eyes popped open.
“It’s December twenty-sixth,” I whispered.
Of course he knew that.
Mekhi closed his eyes tight, raised his free hand to his forehead. I watched his chest tighten and his eyelids follow suit.
I’d ripped the bandage off. There was no point in letting the fantasy linger. This was the day. By one p.m. we would be separated. Mekhi opened his eyes and turned his body in my direction. “You look beautiful.”
“I look like I do every morning. Like someone who needs to get it together.”
He shook his head. “No, every morning when I look at you, I think you look beautiful. I don’t tell you enough, so I’m telling you now.” He squeezed my hand, popped out of bed and went into the bathroom.
“I’m getting my hair done in an hour,” I yelled so he would hear.
Mekhi’s voice came back over the flushing toilet and running water. “Hair done. Why? It looks good.”
He reentered the bedroom.
“I’m taking my weave out and I’m getting it cut short.”
He frowned. I was throwing a lot at him and he looked confused for a moment.
“Ebony’s going to do it.”
Mekhi raised an eyebrow.
“I can’t get a weave behind bars, Mekhi.”
“But why a cut?” he asked. I was sure he was thinking about my shoulder-length, natural hair under the weave. The hair that was too fragile for heat styling and relaxers. The naturally curly hair that I’d hidden for almost eight years. Hair that he’d never seen.
“It’ll be easier to maintain.”
“Sam, don’t you think being that drastic will...” he paused and then found his words, “...be kind of psychologically stressful, you know? Jail and then a different look in the mirror.”
I smiled knowingly. “I wore my hair short in college. I liked it. A lot.”
His eyebrows knit together and he looked confused. “I don’t remember that.”
“I didn’t come home on breaks. I don’t think we actually saw each other for almost two years.”
“And I was busy stacking cash.”
I smiled and twisted my lips. “Anyway you could.”
He pulled me to him. “I don’t care what you do to your hair, but can you call Ebony and tell her to push the time back to ten?”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Am I going to be busy?”
“Yeah, I need more than an hour.”
“Goodbye sex?”
“See you later love, baby.”
I was down with that. I reached for my phone and sent Ebony a text.
It was freezing out. Really, really cold for Atlanta. I’d just talked to Darlene. She and the girls were happy in the UMC apartment we’d borrowed. The baby was doing well. We had a home health aide assigned to help her for the next couple weeks and she’d already arrived. I made Darlene swear to call Ebony if she needed anything during her transition from the hotel to the apartment. Ebony had a stash of “Darlene money” and the knowledge about what to do with it if Darlene’s situation fell apart.
Although I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to, Darlene promised to visit me in jail and I told her to make sure to have the girls write me. Letters, that was what I really wanted. I could read letters over and over again.
Rufus drove today, and I was glad Mekhi didn’t have to drive himself home from the jail. Taking his hands off the wheel was for the best. He was sure to be angry and likely emotional, plus this gave us time to cleave to each other in the backseat of the car.
I expected the streets to be empty and quiet. I assumed families would be home playing with their adult and child-size toys, eating leftovers and watching football. I was right. Atlanta was only this calm a few times a year. I was glad for the solitude. It gave me a chance to enjoy the landscape of the trees and bushes along the ride, even if they were void of leaves.
“Live in the moment,” I whispered to myself.
Mekhi squeezed my hand and I rested my head on his shoulder for the remainder of the ride. I remembered our love making from earlier. What started as playful had turned into an emotional and passionate clinging to each other. For the last time in a long time.
And for that reason, I wasn’t satisfied. I wished we were in some kind of limo with privacy glass, so I could be with him one more time. I squeezed his hand, raised my head to look in his eyes and saw the longing in them. He felt the same way I did.
Rufus turned onto the interstate and less than ten minutes later we were in the parking lot for Samaritan House. I released Mekhi’s hand and pulled the hat I’d removed when the car got warm over my new short haircut. “I’ll only be five minutes.”
Rufus popped the trunk and all three of us climbed out of the car. Mekhi handed me the shopping bag I’d stored there and he and Rufus leaned against the SUV as I made my way into the building. As expected, I didn’t have to go far. Abby was in the television room just as Colleen had told me when I called earlier.
“Samaria.” Abby said my name and stood. “I thought you was finished here.” Perfect white teeth lit up her face, reminding me that life was full of paradoxes.
“I came to see you.”
Abby frowned and came closer.
“I have something for you.” I nodded for her to follow me to the lobby.
I opened the shopping bag and handed her the box. It was oversized and wrapped exquisitely, as I made sure to have it professionally done.
“What’s all this?” She was staring at it like I’d handed her a bag of diamonds.
“Open it and find out.”
“I can’t hardly open it. I want to keep it like it is for a while.”
I chuckled. “Well, I’m a little short on time, so if you don’t mind.”
She twisted her lips, took the old tattered gloves off her fingers, and shoved them into her coat pocket. “I don’t remember the last time I got a present.” She grinned as she undid the tape, carefully handling it so she didn’t do much damage to the iridescent red and green paper, and separated the top lid from the bottom.
I swallowed my anticipation and watched her eyes light up when she pushed back the tissue paper. She reached into the box. “A coat.” Wonderment could be seen in her eyes and heard in her voice. She pulled it all the way out of the box and stared at it. “Will it fit me?”
“It’ll fit you.”
She looked down at her own coat and then up into my face. Sadness crept into her eyes. “You got me red.”
“I thought you might want to continue to stand out.”
Abby smiled. “Here.” She shoved the new one at me. I thought she was rejecting it, but she peeled off her own, letting it hit the floor without reservation, and then took back the new one and slid her arms into it. She did so slowly like she was afraid it would disappear if she rushed.
Just as I expected, it was a perfect fit. There was a hat, gloves and scarf set in the box as well, so she had a complete ensemble. She put it all on and marveled at it. “This is expensive.”
“The good stuff for a good person,” I replied.
Tears filled her eyes. Pride displayed on her face. Gratitude was expressed in her words. “You got it from the store across the street.”
I nodded.
“I’ve been looking at that store for years. I ain’t never went inside.”
That saddened me a little, but I was glad she had something from there that she could call her own.
“Thank you, Samaria.”
My own eyes became wet. I reached for her hand. “I should be thanking you,” I said. “I am thanking you.”
“You the one bringing a fancy coat to a stranger. Whatcha thanking me for?”
“For what you said to me.”
“What I say?” she asked. “I talk all the time.”
I smiled and then a seriousness that flowed from my belly filled my tone. “On that day we sat outside the store on the bench, I was feeling sorry for myself. You told me I needed to remember I was blessed, no matter what my circumstances were.”
She chuckled. “That sounds like me.”
I nodded. “You were right. I do have a lot to be grateful for. I’ve had a hard year, but I have a good husband. I have love in my life for the first time in my life. I even have a friend...a new extended family. I need to appreciate all of it.”
I looked at the clock behind her. I was over my five minutes. I was out of time, period.
Intuitive as always, Abby said, “You have to go.”
I nodded. I closed the short distance between where we were standing and the door. I pulled it open and stepped out.
“Will I see you again?” She took a few steps in my direction and then stepped out the door too.
“When I get released.”
“You sure?” The sharp wind hit the both of us and she pulled her coat around her tighter.
“I’m sure.” I looked up and Abby’s eyes followed mine to the sign over the door. “This place has got my name on it.”
Abby smiled. I put my arm around her and gave her a hug. Then I turned back to the parking lot and with Mekhi in my line of sight, made my way back to the car. The sharp wind chilled my bones, but I knew I’d never let anything make my heart cold again. Not even the days ahead of me.
Mekhi pulled the car door open. “You done?”
I turned and looked at the entrance to Samaritan House again. “For now.” I climbed into the vehicle fully prepared for the trip ahead of me.
Coming March 31, 2016 – Shame On You
More Samaria, Mekhi and Benxi...
See Chapter 1 on next page.
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