MELODY MANAGED TO concentrate during most of Thursday but as the day wore on the more nervous she became. Had George meant what he’d said? Was he still planning to come around to her place that evening to watch the recordings of her hand and microsurgery reconstructions? Had he only been joking?
She checked her phone several times to see if he’d sent her a message or if she’d missed a call but there was nothing. She knew he had a hectic schedule but surely he could have texted to confirm or something? Perhaps that meant he wasn’t coming. The knowledge deflated her.
She’d managed ward round and clinic without a problem, as well as getting a debrief from Andy on the status of Rudy Carlew. So far there had been no complications with his surgery and it looked as though he was going to make an uncomplicated recovery.
‘Apparently,’ Andy told her, ‘he’s quite impressed with our Evelyn. He’s asked her to stay on as his private nurse for the rest of the movie shoot.’
‘Good.’ Melody nodded sternly. ‘That way we can be sure his arm won’t be exacerbated. Evelyn knows what to keep an eye out for.’
‘Good heavens, Melody. Don’t you see the underlying meaning here?’
‘What?’ Melody frowned at her registrar, focusing on his face as his words started to sink in. ‘What’s the underlying meaning?’
‘That Rudy Carlew and Evelyn are a couple.’
‘Really?’ Melody was surprised. ‘So soon? They hardly know each other.’
‘That doesn’t matter. When it’s the right person, it’s just right,’ he pointed out. ‘That’s how it was with me and my wife. Bam!’ He clapped his hands together. ‘Like a bolt of lightning. Two months later we were married.’
Melody continued to think about what Andy had said for the rest of the day. She had been trying so hard not to think about George but perhaps she should? Perhaps she should consider that she’d been struck by lightning! When her phone rang, she immediately hoped it was George, calling to let her know whether or not he was coming, but instead the image of the caller on her phone screen indicated it was her brother.
‘Ethan. How’s everything going, big brother?’
‘Good. CJ’s back at work three and a half days a week and I get two whole days of being Mr Mum to my gorgeous Lizzie-Jean.’
Melody giggled. ‘I can’t believe you’re married with a little girl. After everything you’ve been through, you finally got your happy ending.’ As she was speaking, she felt tears choke her throat.
Before marrying CJ, Ethan had been married to Abigail and expecting his first child, but both his wife and his baby girl had passed away, leaving Ethan almost killing himself with work. Thankfully, Melody’s new sister-in-law, who had been left alone and pregnant, had saved her brother. Now the three of them were a family and she couldn’t have been happier for them. Everyone was getting their happy ending. Andy had found his wife, even Evelyn had found Rudy Carlew. What about her?
Images of George immediately came to mind and she gasped a little at how readily her thoughts turned to him. She cared about him and she always would. Closing her eyes, she whimpered as she realised she might have given her heart to a man who might not return her feelings—again.
‘Mel? Are you OK?’ Ethan asked.
‘What? Yeah. Why?’
‘Because you’re whimpering down the phone. What’s wrong, sis?’
‘Oh...well...everything.’
Ethan chuckled. ‘That narrows it down.’
‘Uh—I’ve sort of met someone.’
‘Sort of?’
‘Remember I told you about the visiting orthopaedic surgeon who was coming?’
‘Yeah. A week of lunches, lectures and dinners. You weren’t looking—’ Ethan stopped. ‘You like the VOS?’
‘Like? That may be a mild word for the way I feel.’
‘What? Wait. What’s this guy like? Do Dave and I need to come and meet him? We can come on Saturday and meeting this guy and—’
‘Whoa, there, over-protective brother. Steady on.’ Melody sighed and told Ethan what had happened over the past few days since George had burst into her life. When she finished, Ethan chuckled.
‘It sounds as though you’re definitely smitten. I remember feeling like that with CJ. I struggled against it but in the end I came to realise that although we hadn’t known each other long, we knew each other deeply. Sometimes, Mel, you just click with people and it sounds as though you’ve really clicked with George.’
‘But what am I supposed to do if he does come over tonight to watch these surgeries?’
‘If he does come over, Mel, I don’t think it’s going to be because he wants to watch the surgeries,’ Ethan chuckled.
‘Why? What does he want to do, then?’ She gasped, answering her own question. ‘Do you really think he wants to...?’ She spoke softly into the phone, a warm blush tingeing her cheeks. She was glad she was alone in her office.
‘I think he might just want to spend time with you. From what you’ve said, he seems to be the gentlemanly type. I should know. I’m one.’
‘Ha!’ Melody teased her brother. ‘Seriously, Ethan, what do I do if he does just want to—you know, hang out.’ She’d only been telling herself just that morning that she wasn’t going to get involved with George on anything other than a professional and platonic level, yet even at the thought of George being in her apartment, Melody’s body had ignited with desire. The memory of being held close against him, the way his mouth had melded perfectly with her own, the way he could make her forget about absolutely everything when he stared deeply into her eyes...
‘What if I get hurt again, Ethan?’ she blurted out before her brother could answer. ‘I mean, yeah, it’s great that I’m putting myself out there again, but do I really want to? Should I? Can I trust my judgement? Is that actually why I’ve fallen for George, because I know he’s unavailable and therefore it’s as though I’m doing a pre-emptive strike on getting hurt? Emir didn’t want me, so why should George? What if I’m destined to only fall for unavailable men?’
‘Oh, sis,’ Ethan empathised. ‘You’re not doing any of those things and Emir was a fool. So was Ian. Both were idiots because any man would be lucky to have someone as awesome as you.’
‘You have to say that. You’re my brother!’
‘Perhaps but you’re actually being much braver than before and it does sound as though this George Wilmont guy—who I’m going to investigate online as soon as we’ve finished this conversation—is a decent fellow and if there’s one thing you definitely deserve, it’s someone decent.’
Melody forced herself to calm down. ‘You’re right. And, besides, he might just want to have a platonic evening of watching surgeries.’
‘Because we surgeons are quite boring like that,’ he joked. ‘Look, you like him so use the opportunity to get to know him better. Ask him the burning questions that are no doubt churning through your mind even now, or just let go and enjoy wherever the evening takes you.’
‘But he’s still in love with his first wife.’
‘And he always will be, but it’s not a love that’s based in the present. It’s a love that’s based in the past and sooner or later he’ll realise that living with ghosts may be detrimental to his health.’ Ethan’s tone was soft. She knew he was speaking from experience, that he would always have a love for his first wife, but he adored his present wife.
‘OK. So I should just enjoy where the evening takes me.’
‘Yep.’
‘I think I can do that.’
‘And remember—forward is good. You told me that.’
‘I did, didn’t I?’
‘Take your own advice, sis. I’d better go. I can hear Lizzie-Jean grizzling for attention.’
‘Ooh. Give her a big kiss from her aunty Mel.’
‘Will do. Love you, sis.’
‘Love you, too, Ethan.’
After she’d ended the call, she sat at her desk and mumbled, ‘Forward is good.’ She was still telling herself that as she unlocked her front door a few hours later. She’d heard no word from George, so obviously he’d decided not to keep their—their what? Appointment? Date?
She hurried to her room and kicked off her shoes, pulling the clip out of her hair at the same time. Well, if he wasn’t coming round, she might be able to finally get that bubble bath she’d promised herself yesterday evening. At least there was no dinner to attend tonight. Still, she’d give him another hour and if he didn’t turn up she’d break out the bubbles. Melody changed out of her work clothes into a loose flowing skirt and top, taking time to brush her hair before heading to the kitchen for a drink. She eyed the choice of soothing herbal teas in her cupboard while she waited for the kettle to boil and eventually chose chamomile. She checked the kitchen clock—seven thirty-seven.
‘Oh, stop it,’ she told herself as she ran a hand through her hair, but the words were easier said than done. She was anxious and on edge. Would he or wouldn’t he come? Perhaps she should call him?
When the doorbell rang she jumped in fright, then remained glued to the spot for a whole ten seconds. Was it him? With her heart pounding rapidly, she smoothed her hands down her skirt, telling herself there was nothing to be concerned about, and forced her legs to carry her towards the door.
She opened the door to see George standing there, holding a bottle of wine. ‘Hi.’ He was wearing a navy polo shirt and the same denim jeans she’d seen him in the other night—the ones that fitted him to perfection. Melody simply stood and stared at him for a long moment, completely forgetting her manners. He was here. ‘Can I come in?’ he asked slowly, and she finally snapped out of her trance.
‘Of course. Of course.’ She stepped back to permit him access to her apartment. ‘I wasn’t sure if you were coming or not.’
‘I left a message on your phone.’
‘You did?’ She frowned as she grabbed her phone and checked. Sure enough, there was a message from George, the time indicating he’d tried to call her while she’d been talking to Ethan. ‘Sorry. I didn’t get it.’
‘Never mind.’ He handed her the wine and she turned to take it into the kitchen and put it onto the bench. She knew she needed to pull herself together, she knew she needed to be professional and platonic. Friendship. That’s what she could offer him—for now, or at least until she figured out what was really happening between them. ‘Would you like a glass now?’ She turned to open the overhead cupboard to retrieve glasses.
‘No.’
She jumped at the sound of his soft, deep voice from behind her, not realising he’d followed her into the kitchen. When she turned to face him she gasped in surprise. The look in his eyes was unmistakably raw with repressed desire and she parted her lips, her breathing instantly erratic.
His gaze travelled the length of her body, taking in her clothes. ‘You look...’ He didn’t finish the sentence but instead slowly drew closer to her, causing her insides to heat and spiral with warmth. Nothing could have made her look away from him at that heart-stopping moment, and before she could utter a word George hauled her into his arms, his mouth hungrily capturing her own.
In contrast to the kiss they’d shared yesterday, this one was hot and heavy, leaving Melody in little doubt about just how attracted to her George was. So much for the decision to offer a professional and platonic relationship.
His hands roved over her back as he deepened the kiss. She went with him, eager to keep up, eager to show him just how mutual the desire was. He groaned and urged her backwards and soon she felt the coolness of the wall against her back. He leaned in, his body pressing against her own, and she felt her breasts crushed against the firmness of his chest.
The smell of raw, unleashed craving mingled between them as the need for more rose urgently in both of them. She dug her fingers into his shoulder blades before sliding them firmly down his back, feeling the flexed muscles beneath. Wanting to touch him, she impatiently tugged his shirt from the waistband of his jeans, her fingers now itching to make contact with his skin.
When the task was finally completed, she moaned with delight when she reached her objective. His skin was hot to her touch just as she’d known it would be. Giving in to the itch that had been building within her since early Monday morning, she allowed her hands to explore the solid contours of his torso, committing each one to memory.
George groaned against her mouth, unable to believe how this woman could set him on fire. The sensations he was experiencing were all completely foreign but he was definitely enjoying each new one she discovered. The touch of her hands on his body, the way her mouth was responding to his, giving in to every one of his needs, matching them eagerly.
She lifted one leg slightly and coiled it around the back of his, before sliding it slowly down to the floor. The action caused a stirring deep within him and he could feel himself losing control of the situation.
Breaking his mouth free, they both gasped in air before he pushed her hair aside and smothered the smoothness of her gorgeous neck in hot, feverish kisses. He then changed direction and dipped towards the exposed skin above her breasts. Her hands slid out from his shirt at the same time she murmured his name. ‘Mmm,’ she sighed, lacing her fingers through his hair. ‘George.’
The way she said his name pierced right to his heart and he realised that things were getting out of control. He worked his way up, not wanting to break the contact immediately but knowing he must—and soon. He nipped at her ear lobe and she giggled. The sound was intensely provocative and the last thing he needed right now.
He hadn’t meant to lose control like that, to grab her and smother her with kisses almost the first instant after he’d walked into her apartment...but she was all he’d been able to think about for most of the day, especially as he hadn’t seen that much of her. He’d missed her and his need for her had increased.
‘Melody.’ With his breathing still out of control, he looked down at her face. Her eyes were closed, her parted lips were dark pink and swollen from his kisses, her breathing as ragged as his own. She was a vision of loveliness. Unable to resist, he brushed his lips against hers, forcing himself not to deepen the kiss.
‘Mmm,’ she murmured again, and when he brushed them a third time her hands clamped themselves on either side of his head and held his lips where they belonged. Seductively, she ran her tongue over his lips and was thrilled with the shudder that tore through his body.
Ever so slowly, she kissed him again. Teasing and testing, refusing to deepen the kiss.
‘Melody.’ This time her name was torn from his lips and she was satisfied with the response.
She kissed him again, not wanting him to speak for she’d already sensed his slow but sure withdrawal. Even though their bodies were still pressed firmly together, George had already mentally distanced himself. She didn’t want to think about things rationally and if they stopped completely, then they’d have to talk things through.
Melody just wanted to go on feeling exactly as she was feeling now, not caring about her already bruised heart or the fact that the man in her arms would be leaving within forty-eight hours. She breathed slowly against his mouth before tasting him once again. Now that she knew how incredible they were together, it was something she’d probably crave for the rest of her life.
He didn’t break free and he didn’t hurry her. Instead, he took what she was offering but held himself under rigid control, still marvelling at how easily he’d lost his perspective. Perhaps the building resistance they’d been employing for the past four days had increased his drive. Whatever this was between them, George knew he’d never experience anything like it again. This was unique for him.
Knowing the moment had come when she couldn’t hang onto the physical pull any longer, Melody lowered her hands to his shoulders and slowly opened her eyes. His brown eyes were gazing down into hers, the fire still burning but gradually being doused.
Neither of them spoke but the communication was there. As their breathing steadied to a more normal pace, George reluctantly eased himself away from her. For one fleeting instant he thought Melody might overrule him and drag his body back where it belonged. Instead, she let her hands fall limply to her sides, her gaze dipping briefly to his lips before she looked down at the floor.
He felt awful. How could he have kissed her again? He’d already told himself that they would just be friends, colleagues and nothing more. It wasn’t fair, to either of them, to torture themselves as they just had. Their lives were running on two completely different tracks. Despite how much he was attracted to her, he also owed her the respect and common decency he would show to other female colleagues. Guilt started to swamp him and he opened his mouth, an apology on his lips.
‘Don’t.’ Melody held up her hand. ‘Don’t apologise. We both wanted it, we both needed it and we’ll both take responsibility for it.’
‘You’re right, but I was also going to say I never meant it to happen.’
‘Liar.’ She crossed her arms defensively over her body, rubbing her arms, her body still feeling bereft of his touch. She turned and headed into the living room, leaving him to follow her or stay where he was. She needed to sit down.
‘Why am I a liar?’ He followed her into the living room. She was sitting with her legs tucked beneath her skirt on a large wingback chair. Her hands were clenched tightly in her lap and her eyes were momentarily closed.
Melody fought for composure before opening her eyes to look at him. ‘Because you did mean that kiss to happen. We may not have realised it, but it’s been building ever since we met on Monday.’ She shrugged, displaying a nonchalance she didn’t feel. ‘It was...inevitable.’
He registered the truth of her words as he slumped down into the matching chair beside her. ‘When you opened the door, I guess everything became too much to control. I was relieved we could see each other without being surrounded by people. I was still trying to resist you because I knew it was the right thing to do, and I was slightly annoyed because you left last night without saying goodbye.’ George sighed and shifted in his chair, his gaze intently holding hers.
‘Then I had meeting after meeting,’ he continued, ‘talking to people and presenting information, discussing operating techniques, and the entire time all I could think about was you. About seeing you tonight, about being near you, holding you, kissing you.’ His gaze dropped to encompass her mouth as he spoke, another thread of desire running through her at such a look. He cleared his throat and eased back in his chair. ‘I even snapped at Carmel—twice—and it wasn’t even her fault. It was simply because I was behaving like a hormonal, preoccupied teenager.’
‘Wow.’ She cleared her throat. ‘That’s, ah, a lot of information to process.’
‘We need to be open, to not be afraid to ask questions,’ he stated. ‘Or answer them.’ He reached across, holding out his hand to her, which she accepted. ‘Deal?’
Melody felt warmth wash over her at the soft touch from his hand. Open honesty from a man? Was that possible? ‘Deal.’
‘So...’ He gave her hand a little squeeze before releasing it. George settled back in the chair. ‘You mentioned you studied in Parramatta?’
‘Yes.’ Melody smiled. She told him about growing up in that area, about the way her family appreciated vintage cars and her brothers had been over-protective, especially during her teenage years.
George raised his hand and chuckled. ‘I understand completely.’
‘Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side.’
He shook his head. ‘As a brother of twin sisters, I’m a card-carrying member of the over-protective brother club.’
‘Great. Then you’ll get on wonderfully with David and Ethan.’
‘I’d like to meet them sometime.’ George’s words flowed easily from his lips but as he said the words Melody’s spine prickled with apprehension.
‘Does that mean you’re planning on staying in touch after you leave?’
He nodded before shifting in his chair. ‘This is why I’m here tonight. To get to know you, to become better friends with you. I don’t know what this is, Melody, but I do know it doesn’t happen every day.’
‘Did it feel that way with—?’ She stopped, the question about his wife forming before she’d had time to process it.
‘With Veronique?’ At her nod, he thought for a moment. ‘We were colleagues, then friends, then more than friends, then dating, then engaged, then married.’
‘Where are we on that scale?’
‘I think we’re definitely in the “more than friends” bracket but also in the “friends” and “colleagues” brackets as well.’ He stood and walked over to the wall, where there were several pictures of her family as well as framed copies of her medical degrees. ‘You and I—we’re not doing things in the right order.’ He turned to face her.
‘I think that’s why it’s so confusing.’
‘Did things happen in the right order with your ex-fiancé?’
‘Yes. Colleagues, friends, more than friends. We didn’t quite make it to the marriage part.’
‘Because he cheated on you?’
‘Yes. Several times. With several women, women I still see around the hospital, and there are probably more I still don’t know about and don’t want to know about.’ She sighed heavily.
‘It still hurts deeply?’
‘Being betrayed? Yes.’ Melody angled her head to the side, feeling a wave of emotions she’d thought she’d dealt with rise to the surface. ‘With Ian, he flat out lied. He was married, didn’t tell me. So that was lying creep number one. A while later, enter lying creep number two who wanted to marry me but with the understanding that he didn’t want children.’ She sniffed and shook her head slowly from side to side. ‘I spent a lot of anxious and soul-searching nights wondering if I could be in a marriage without children and eventually I decided that I could. I could accept that Emir didn’t want children, that our careers, the care we had for our patients would be enough.’
‘You mentioned he moved to Germany to be with the woman he’d impregnated.’
‘Yep.’ Tears welled in her eyes. ‘It made me realise it wasn’t that he didn’t want children, it was that he didn’t want them with me.’ She spread her arms wide then let them drop to her side dejectedly. ‘He didn’t want me.’
‘He really was dead in the head not to want you.’ George’s words were filled with desire and when she looked at him through her tears she could see by his expression that he meant it.
‘Thank you.’ She took a tissue from the table and dabbed at her eyes. ‘Heartbreak isn’t easy but somehow we do survive it.’
‘The heart mends. Amazing, eh,’ he stated rhetorically.
Melody was quiet for a moment before asking softly, ‘How did you feel when you learned of Veronique’s death?’ George clenched his jaw at the question and Melody quickly held up a hand. ‘You don’t have to answer th—’
‘I felt like dying.’
Melody clutched her hands to her chest, her eyes wide with empathy.
‘When I heard the news, I...’ He shook his head. ‘I wanted to die as well.’
She wanted to go to to him, to hold him, but she stayed where she was. ‘I’m very glad you didn’t. Think of all the people you’ve met during the past year. Think of how many lives you’ve touched, how many people you’ve helped, how many lives have been improved. You’ve empowered surgeons around the world to be able to save their patient’s lives. That’s an amazing legacy, George.’
‘And one Veronique wanted for me.’
Melody leaned back in the chair and smiled. ‘You’ve done her proud.’
‘You don’t mind me talking about her?’
She shook her head, once again realising that George had a lot of things he needed to sort out if there was ever going to be anything developing between them in the future. He was still grieving, still...broken. They both were. ‘Veronique was a major part of your life,’ she continued. ‘We’ve all loved and lost. Sometimes through heartbreak, sometimes through death and sometimes through both.’
‘Both?’
She shrugged. ‘My brother, Ethan, went through a difficult time. His wife died from eclampsia and his baby girl died almost a day later. Ethan worked himself into a frenzy and it was only after he had a mild heart attack that he confessed his wife had been drinking heavily during her pregnancy and that his daughter had suffered from foetal alcohol syndrome.’
‘The poor man.’
‘He’s good now. He’s found happiness again and a new family.’
‘And I’ll bet you were his rock, the sister who pulled him through the darkest times of his life.’
‘We’re a close family.’
‘That’s nice.’ George held her close. ‘Family is important. I’ve realised that more and more this year. At first, I couldn’t wait to get away, to leave the hospital where both Veronique and I had worked. Now I have such mixed emotions about going back because I’m not going back to my old life. My old life doesn’t exist any more. It’s gone and I can never get it back.’
It was that, more than any talk about his wife, which pierced Melody’s heart. George wanted his old life back, which only reiterated that he wasn’t ready to look to the future and the possibility of a new life. Which was why his next words threw her completely.
‘Melody—I want to spend together whatever free time we have left. It’s only going to be an hour here or half an hour there, I know, but what do you think?’
‘Do you think that’s wise? Especially given what you’ve just said?’
‘I don’t know any more. I don’t know what’s right or wrong, what might happen or won’t happen. I just know that when I’m around you I feel calm and I haven’t felt calm in a really long time. It’s very selfish of me, and you have every right to say no.’ He looked expectantly into her face.
She was secretly delighted he wanted to spend time with her but was also highly cautious. ‘Well, we both have hectic schedules so it would make it difficult.’ She was trying hard to choose her words carefully. She didn’t want him to think she didn’t want to spend time with him because she did, but she also needed to gauge how much time would be enough for her to hold onto her sanity. Self-preservation was a key factor in her life, especially with her track record of relationships. ‘I’ll be in Theatre tomorrow, doing the second part of that hand reconstruction, while you’ll be doing your last theatre stint of show and tell.’
He chuckled at her wording. ‘That’s exactly how it feels sometimes.’
She smiled at him. ‘We could have breakfast together on Saturday morning before your flight to Melbourne.’
‘At the hotel?’
She shook her head. ‘I know a nice all-day breakfast place I’d like to take you to.’ They could say a private goodbye and then she could come home and cry her heart out.
‘You’ll pick me up?’
‘Sure. Then I can take you straight to the airport.’ Even as she said the words she wasn’t sure it was the best idea but he was right when he’d said they had very little time to spend together.
‘It’s a date.’ The way he looked at her, with a mixture of need, want and desire, left her with little doubt as to how she affected him. He clenched his jaw and shoved his hands into his pockets, as though to keep himself from crossing to her side and gathering her close.
They stared at each other for so long she was about to capitulate and cross to his side, eager to have his mouth on hers once more. George cleared his throat. ‘We’d better start watching these brilliant reconstructive surgeries of yours before I lose all control.’
‘Wait.’ His words took a second or two for her sluggish brain to process. ‘You were serious about that?’
‘Yeah. I really am interested.’ He pulled a USB memory stick from his pocket. ‘The library downloaded the files onto this stick for me and told me to keep it.’
‘You are really strange if your idea of fun is to sit and watch recordings of surgeries.’ She took the stick from him and put it into the USB port at the rear of her television. Soon they were sitting on the lounge facing the television ready to watch the surgery. ‘Are you sure?’ she checked one last time as he put his arm down the back of the lounge, his body very close to hers. It was exciting and comforting and sexy to have him so near. If this was her holiday romance, she couldn’t think of anything better to do on a date. Watching surgery with another surgeon, someone who really understood her work.
‘I want to spend time with you, Melody, and tonight this is all the time I have. I don’t think either of us are emotionally ready for the result our attraction could provide, so...’ He took the remote from her and pressed ‘play’. ‘If this is the way I get to spend time with you, then so be it.’
‘OK, but it goes for over four hours.’
‘If I get bored, which I seriously doubt, I’ll fast-forward and you can provide me with a commentary about what I’ve missed.’
‘Oh, joy.’ Melody couldn’t help but laugh at his seriousness on the issue.
‘Also, can we order some food? I’m starved.’ He kicked off his shoes and pulled out his phone. ‘What do you feel like eating? Noodles? Curry? Pizza?’
‘Er...curry?’ She marvelled at how relaxed and at home he seemed. He was probably so sick and tired of living out of a hotel that being at a real home was probably something of a novelty. He ordered some food, told her it would be delivered in half an hour, then snuggled closer to watch Melody performing surgery.
They both watched as the operating theatre came into focus and there she was, standing at the operating table, explaining the finer points of what she was about to do. She felt self-conscious watching herself, never having sat through a viewing of the recording before, but with George asking questions she found herself reaching for the remote to pause it while they discussed things in more detail.
It was liberating to be able to sit down with a man and discuss a subject she was passionate about. He seemed to be really interested and the knowledge thrilled her. It was wonderful and exhilarating, as well as desperate and sad. Here she was, bonding with a man who would leave her in forty-eight hours.