Affirmation: “I love myself totally, completely,
and unconditionally.”
Deep inside you lies a treasure trove of goodness as well as a shadow side. It is time for you to know yourself, your true self. No more pretenses and false fronts. Just the real you. No filter. No shame or worry about who you really are. To know yourself is to know the divine. You are a sacred, beautiful being worthy of respect, kindness, love, and all good things. And all that goodness starts with the ultimate gift you can give yourself: self-acceptance.
Your shadow self is the part of you that stays hidden away for nobody to see. Occasionally, you might catch a glimpse of it in a moment of partially suppressed rage or stark loneliness. The shadow is a very personal aspect of the total self; everything you find unpalatable, unattractive, or socially unacceptable is a part of you, no matter how deeply it is buried within. Your shadow can be scary, for it contains all that you fear, especially about yourself—your inner malice, jealousy, envy, and madness. It’s the sad, little child hiding in the corner after being rejected, and it’s the bully on the playground who terrorizes others. It’s the power-hungry monster within, and it’s the helpless, supplicant victim. Your shadow is everything you can’t control, your very own personal, inner chaos.
How can you dig deep and find true acceptance? How can you find your real self? Start by telling yourself, “Self, I am here to accept you. I have a no-questions-asked policy; if you share a deep secret, I will accept it. I will stand by you, self, because I love you.”
Really tell yourself that and feel how powerful it is. Do you notice it resonating within you? If you do, it is because no one is completely perfect according to societal standards. Everyone has faults, secrets, and challenges along with talents, gifts, and qualities they flaunt. The thing is all of it is actually a treasure because it’s you.
The more you integrate your deep self, the more you are free to accept and share joy and love. The energy of the parts that aren’t accepted (like anger, fear, shame, rage, and jealously) can become clogged and stuck. They can affect your health and well-being, but love and acceptance are the balm that heals all wounds and clears all debts. They smooth your life and prepare you for greatness.
Exercise: Integrative Meditation
In this meditation we will work with facing our shadow side honestly so that we can come to a level of self-acceptance. Find a quiet space and lie down or sit comfortably. You will be going within, into your heart space. See yourself standing in a temple in the center of your heart. Notice the surroundings. What colors and textures do you see? Walk over to the altar in the center of the temple. If it is bare, cover it with things that bring you joy, like flowers, tropical fruits, minerals, pictures, artwork, or statues of deities. Stand and raise your arms above your head. See yourself doing the same within your heart’s temple. Speak the following aloud with clarity of intention: “I call all aspects of my self to the center of my heart chamber. All are welcome in the temple; you will be received with love. My shadow, hear my call. It is time to integrate, shadow self, shadow self, shadow self.” You are literally talking to your shadow self, and it helps if you say it aloud so that your brain and all of the parts of yourself physically hear you. If you speak your call aloud, you will have better results. See your shadow stand before you in the center of your heart temple. Do not judge it. Look it straight in the eye. Know it.
Visualize white light and love emanating from your spirit self, from your hands and heart and eyes, toward your shadow. When you feel a connection to your shadow self, ask it to speak to you. What does it have to say that you haven’t been able or willing to hear? Listen without judgment.
Consider the possibility of opening your heart to loving your shadow. Try to allow that to happen now. Visualize opening your arms to hug your shadow.
If you are able to love yourself, you can integrate all aspects of who you are, whether or not they are consciously expressed. Then they won’t express themselves unconsciously when you react to stressful situations or are triggered by circumstances. When people “blow up” in anger, it is their shadow part that is angry. When your shadow is done hugging you, offer it a home in your heart temple. Show it around and visualize helping it create a lovely room full of what will make it happy.
Sit for a time, noticing how you feel after welcoming all that you are into the temple of your heart. Do you notice anything new? A sense of wholeness or balance that wasn’t felt before?
Use this process as often as you would like. Know that you have delved deep, found the beautiful depths of yourself, and freed yourself to accept and live more joy.
Accept yourself. Accept your flaws, quirks, talents, secret thoughts—all of it—and experience true liberation. #joyfulliving101