Chapter Eleven

Monday morning, Mandy woke up to find herself wrapped in another person. Two muscled arms surrounded her waist and a firm stomach was pressed to her butt. Normally, she’d roll over and indulge in some sexy time, but today was a big day.

“Alex.” She nudged him with her elbow before wriggling from his hold as the first rays of sunlight filtered into his bedroom. “We need to get moving if we’re going to make it to the exhibition in Chicago.”

“What?” he mumbled, his eyes half closed as he scrubbed a hand over his face.

She climbed out of bed and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s almost seven. The Uber will be here at eight. Get up.”

Alex dragged her back onto the mattress and trailed his lips across her cheek to nibble on her earlobe. “Just a few more minutes.”

Laughing, Mandy kissed him, then pushed away from his chest. A mix of joy and apprehension careened through her like an Olympic bobsled team. She could so easily curl up beside him again and never leave, if she wasn’t careful. Which wasn’t good. She needed today to go well. Not just this morning, but later, too. With his father…

Alex kissed her again and Mandy melted despite her wishes. For some reason, being with him now was more tempting than usual. Last night, their lovemaking had been extra soft and sweet, filled with the same poignancy she imagined married people shared together. All the memories, all the feelings. Her heart squeezed with yearning, and she scrambled away from him fast. They weren’t married. Never would be. That wasn’t part of her plan.

Was it?

Thankfully, he must’ve taken her quick retreat as excitement, saying, “Fine. I’m awake.”

“Good.” She turned away, frowning. The last thing she wanted was for either of them to get hurt, and getting more attached to him than she should was a one-way ticket to Heartbreak Land. She’d been there too many times growing up—caring too much, forming connections—only to have them all ripped away.

No. It was better to keep things light. Besides, he’d never once said he wanted more.

She picked up her clothes from the night before and clutched them to her front, the cold floor making her toes curl. “C’mon. You said your friend would let us into the gallery at ten. If we don’t leave soon, we’ll be late.”

“Fine.” Alex groaned and rolled over onto his back while she headed for the door. Her stuff was still upstairs.

“In case I forgot to say it, last night was incredible,” Alex called, following her out into the hallway, naked and breathtaking.

“Yeah.” Mandy smiled down at him over the railing as she headed to her room. “It was.”

But each step coiled the tension inside her tighter and not just because of the secret she was keeping from him about his dad coming by later. For most people, falling for the man you were sleeping with was a good thing, but for her, it was a death knell. Watching her mother end relationship after relationship had taught Mandy that saying the L word meant it was time to move on, not time to put up the white picket fence.

And sure, she’d tried to tell herself over and over that she didn’t love Alex, that he wasn’t part of her plans. That selling this house to him and moving on to Hollywood was her destiny. But the truth was she’d fallen head over heels for him, even if she’d never tell him.

…

“God, just looking at that gives me a panic attack.” Alex yanked at the collar of his navy-blue sweater and stared at a large impressionist painting in front of him. Swirling crowded figures filled the canvas, and a fresh wave of anxiety swelled inside him. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his pulse tripped. He looked around for an escape. “Don’t they have climate control in this place?”

Mandy patted his arm and led him to a more open area of the gallery. “C’mon. The Bal du Moulin de la Galette is over here. And it’s not hot in here. It’s you.”

He trailed along beside her, his gaze dropping to her butt in those tight jeans and his thoughts jumbling. “Are you coming on to me again?”

“No, but the fact you think I was is cute.” She shrugged, drawing his attention to her fuzzy pink sweater. That was nice, too. Would look even nicer on the floor, once he took it off her. And God. What the hell was wrong with him? All he seemed to be able to think about at the moment was sex. Or maybe that was the anxiety. He didn’t remember a lot about the psych consults he’d had before leaving the hospital, but he did remember the guy telling him that distraction was a common tactic for people trying to avoid their PTSD. It was why so many ended up turning to drugs or alcohol to dull the pain.

Is that what I’m doing?

He scowled as they stopped in front of another painting and he leaned in to squint at the plaque on the wall beside it. Sisters on a Terrace. At least this one featured only two people.

“Gorgeous.” Mandy smiled and rested her head against his shoulder. “Love the red hat.”

“It’s nice,” he said, paying zero attention to the painting and focusing instead on the slight dizziness threatening to topple him over. In truth, he’d had low-level anxiety since they’d left Heavenly Falls, but being out in the open like this was making his symptoms worse. Mandy had been so excited, though, he hadn’t wanted to disappoint her by canceling. So, he kept quiet and did his best to hide the fact he was slowly melting down from the inside out.

They walked to the next artwork. More people eating lunch. And dancing. And crowding together. He swiped the cuff of his sweater across his forehead. Was it time to leave yet? Had to be close, right? Felt like they’d been there for days already.

“Hey.” Mandy leaned in to study his face. “You okay? Why don’t we sit down for a minute? My feet are killing me.”

He followed her over to a bench, grateful even though he knew she was lying. No way did her feet hurt in those comfy sneakers she was wearing. They sat and he stared down at the gleaming hardwood floor, breathing in and out until the pounding in his head subsided. He hadn’t mentioned it to Mandy, but this was his first time back in Chicago since the shooting. It affected him more than he’d expected. Or maybe it was the woman beside him.

Maybe he should just tell Mandy how he felt, ask her to stay with him after the movie role in Tennessee or whatever. He turned away from her slightly, rocking a little in his seat. But if she said no, what then? He’d go back to his life before she’d arrived, he supposed, but, looking back now, that had not really been a life at all.

Ugh. This was exactly why he hated getting his emotions involved. Life in black and white was fine if you never saw color. But once you did, you couldn’t go back. His chest squeezed, and he resisted the urge to rub the area over his heart. He’d sworn not to fall for Mandy, yet that’s exactly what he’d done.

Love meant danger, distress, the distinct possibility that it would all explode in his face like a ticking time bomb. They’d agreed to no strings, no fuss, no emotions. And yet, he’d walked right over that line and tumbled head over heels without even noticing.

Oh God.

“How’s the boiler installation going?” she asked, jarring him out of his inner panic.

“Uh…” He ran a damp palm down his jeans-covered thigh and pressed the sole of his brown work boot harder into the floor. “Good, I guess. The new one will be installed next week.”

“Great.” She watched him a moment, then looked away, clearing her throat and fidgeting a bit in her seat. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was just as nervous as he was. Which made no sense. What did she have to be nervous about? He was the one making an idiot out of himself here. Then she took a deep breath, her brows drawing together as she frowned down at her shoes. “I’ve decided to take the part in Bud’s movie. Did I tell you that? The script’s really good and it will be a nice stepping-stone to bigger things.”

“Great,” he said, his tone flatter than he’d intended. He was happy for her, or at least he should be. Except he wasn’t. In fact, he felt downright lousy. “That’s really great.”

“Yeah.” The corners of her mouth twitched into a frown then she started digging through her purse. “There’s something else I need to tell you…”

She looked lovely today with her hair up in a bun, tiny diamond studs glittering from her ears. He wanted to remember every detail, so he could think back on it when she was gone. He swallowed hard against the lump of regret in his throat and forced a smile. She was looking at him expectantly, and he realized she’d asked him something. “I’m sorry?”

She gazed into his eyes, searching, and it took all the willpower he had to bury his feelings deep inside so they wouldn’t show. He’d had lots of practice with that since the shooting. “So, you’re okay with him coming over then?”

“Who?” Alex frowned.

Mandy started to answer, but his security guard friend interrupted them.

“Hey, Lex. We’ll be opening the exhibit to scheduled groups soon.”

“Right.” Mandy pulled her hand from his, and Alex missed her touch immediately. She closed her purse and stood, cheeks flushed. “Let me just use the restroom before we go then we can talk on the way home. Be right back.”

…

Mandy stared at her reflection in the ladies’ room mirror, her mouth dry. She shouldn’t have brought up his dad’s visit yet. Should’ve waited until they were in the car on the way home where they had privacy. The fact he’d taken the news so well only surprised her more. Or made her suspicious. He’d looked a bit shell-shocked when she’d left him on that bench, so who knew what was going on inside him. He never talked about his feelings anyway and considering she felt like a big ball of emotion at the moment didn’t help. She breathed in and out a few times to calm her racing pulse. A check of her watch showed his father would be at the house in just a few short hours, then it would all be over, one way or another. The closure should make her feel better, but it just stressed her out more.

Fingers trembling, she washed her hands and fixed her hair, then headed back out to where Alex waited for her by the exit. His expression was unreadable, but something about the shadows in his eyes sent a ripple of cold dread through her. She feigned her usual sunny optimism and forced a smile. “Ready? I’ll order our Uber.”

She pulled out her phone and punched in her passcode. Her calendar was still up on the screen, the appointment with his dad shining bright. Before she closed it out, Alex leaned closer to squint at it.

“What’s that?”

“Your dad’s coming over later.” Her lips quivered and her heart stumbled. “I just told you that, remember?”

Alex blinked at her a moment, his face blank. If she’d been able to breathe, it would’ve been almost comical. As it was, the color now flooding his face and the anger in his gaze sent a clear message. This wasn’t funny. Not at all.

“What the hell, Mandy?” his voice boomed though the quiet gallery.

Mandy flinched as she ordered their car then put her phone away, doing her best not to lose it in front of all the people waiting to get into the exhibit. “I told you I invited your dad over to talk when we get home.” People were already starting to stare at them, and heat prickled her cheeks. She tried to move Alex out of the way, but he refused to budge. “Please. Let’s get out of here and we can talk about this on the way home.”

“Talk about it?” Alex clenched his hands so tight the knuckles cracked. “About what? How you went behind my back? Because I’ve got a few things to say about that.”

“Sorry, Lex,” his guard friend said again. “But you need to leave now.”

“Fine. I’m more than ready to go.” Alex stormed off toward the exit.

She hurried alongside him. “Look, I’m sorry, but I thought it was the only way. He’s your dad and he loves you. I wanted you to have support while I’m gone in Tennessee and—”

“And what?” His sharp laugh sliced the chilly air as they stood on the busy sidewalk. “You think I need a babysitter or something? Because you think I can’t handle things on my own?” He shook his head and glared out into the passing traffic. “That’s exactly why I wanted to work on the house myself to begin with, Mandy. To prove I was still capable. I thought you understood that.”

“Alex, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to—”

“Well, you did.” He growled as their ride pulled up to the curb. “I don’t need your help, Mandy. And I sure as hell don’t need you or my dad’s support. Not when it’s done without my consent.” He cursed again under his breath and yanked the car door open to climb in, leaving her to fend for herself. “Just stay out of my life, okay? I’m just fine on my own.”

He slammed the door in her face and she ran around to the other side of the car to get in, heat flooding her face and her stomach knotted. God, what a mess. Worse, it was all her fault. This was exactly what she got for getting too attached, for meddling in things that were none of her business. Never mind her heart had been in the right place. Her heart had never gotten her into anything but trouble. “I was trying to help you.”

“Help, huh? I trusted you, Mandy. I lov—” He stopped himself as their driver merged into traffic. For a heart-stopping second, she thought he was going to say he loved her, but that couldn’t be right. He crossed his arms, his jaw hard as granite. “I don’t need your help, and I sure as hell don’t need to see my father. He’s already made it perfectly clear where he stands on my issues.”

She wanted to argue, wanted to tell him he was wrong, but considering his defiant posture and how he’d basically shut her out already, she’d only be talking to herself.

Chest tight, she stared out the window beside her as the city receded.

Stupid. So stupid.

Stupid to fall in love. Stupid to get attached.

Stupid to care when it all went away, just like you knew it would.

Maybe it was good she was leaving for the movie part. In fact, maybe she should stay at Gina’s for a week or so until she left, just to give them both plenty of space. He wanted to do everything by himself? Fine. Let him.

Mandy pulled out her phone and looked up his father’s information, typing in a quick text to tell him not to come to the house, then hit send. Unwanted tears rolled down her cheeks before she swiped them away fast. She’d tried to do the right thing, but it had all gone wrong.

Think positive. Better things are just around the corner.

Her mother’s words mocked her from the great beyond. The only thing around the corner for Mandy now was the open road and a future without Alex.