In a little while I heard the Wheatleys come upstairs. They were arguing.
“It is the work of the Lord to attend the sick!” Mrs. Wheatley wailed.
“It is the work of the devil to expose yourself to disease! No one is to go near Aunt Cumsee! Even she knows better. You heard her ask Nathaniel to send for her sister. She’s had the disease already and is in no danger.”
I whimpered.
“Poor dear,” Mrs. Wheatley moaned. “I knew we shouldn’t have sent her out for food. Oh, how will we manage without her?”
“Sulie can do for us. She is in charge of the house now. Go and rest until Dr. Sprague comes.”
I heard her door close. He went back downstairs. I stood looking out the window of my room as the town crier went by.
“Distemper spreading through town! Inoculation at Province House! Inoculation! With the blessing of all the clergy!”
His voice faded. I went to open my door. The house was full of strange shadows, creakings, and murmurs. It had an unnatural light about it. Footfalls were heavy, voices muted. Aunt Cumsee’s sister, Cary May, was already belowstairs. Aunt Cumsee’s room was below mine. If I put my ear to the floorboard, I could hear the two sisters. Cary May’s voice was sharp and strong, Aunt Cumsee’s low and familiar.
“If the Lord wants me, I’s ready,” I heard Aunt Cumsee say.
“Lord gonna have to git by me first,” her sister responded. “You there, Prince! More heated bricks! More blankets!”
From outside came the sound of carts rumbling by on the street, taking away the dead. Then I heard a rap on the front door. Dr. Sprague! I stepped out into the hall and peered over the banister.
“Good to see you, Doctor,” I heard Mr. Wheatley say. “Good of you to come. You look weary, man. Have you eaten?”
“I’ve had naught but a piece of bread and a cup of wine all day.”
“You shall sit by the fire, rest, and eat.”
“My requirements are modest. Anything will do.”
Nathaniel summoned Sulie to get a dish of meat and bread. “And some claret!” he ordered.
“Tell me,” Mr. Wheatley urged, “is the danger yet past?”
“All who wish to be inoculated will be obliged,” the elderly man said. “The scourge has spread across the River Charles. Mayhap it is God’s blessing that Harvard Hall burned. The students were sent home.”
Mr. Wheatley, Nathaniel, and the doctor went into the dining room. I heard Sulie’s quick footsteps crossing the hall, her sharp voice ordering Prince to come with the claret.
There was a back way downstairs and out of the house. It was used by Sulie and Aunt Cumsee when the Wheatleys did not wish to be disturbed by the comings and goings of the servants.
I put on my heavy cloak, for the night had turned raw. I crept down the back stairs and ran.
I dozed, covered with an old horse blanket, under a barn window. I dreamed of Robin on the wharf in his fancy blue suit, of Prince telling me I would never be any good unless I was free. Of a sudden I felt myself falling, and I knew it was because Sulie had tripped me. I heard her evil laugh.
I dreamed of my mother pouring out water before the morning sun. She was telling me something. What? I could not hear her words. Someone else was speaking at the same time.
“Phillis. Come with me.”
I opened my eyes. Oh, how cruel! I was not at home by the spring with my mother. I was still here in the barn. Nathaniel stood over me, wrapped in a heavy cloak. Light spilled out of a lantern in his hand, blinding me.
I stared stupidly up at him while my head thudded with ache and I felt a sour taste in my mouth.
“We’ve been looking all over for you!” He was angry. “Haven’t we enough trouble on this damnable night without you running off and causing more? What in God’s name are you doing out here? I will have an answer from you, Phillis.”
“Hiding,” I said.
His scowl deepened. “From what? The pox? You needn’t be afraid. No one will fault you for that. Everyone’s afraid. Dr. Sprague is waiting to inoculate you. The poor man is exhausted and wants to go home. Now come along, I say.”
I shook my head and sank back in the straw.
“What the devil?” Nathaniel set his lantern down on a barrel. “What mean you by that? Enough nonsense. Come along.”
But I would not move.
His eyes narrowed. I knew the look. He was not to be trifled with. Now that he had taken on more and more of his father’s business concerns, he was accustomed to having his words heeded. “Come with me now, Phillis. If you don’t come now to be inoculated, you can’t come back into our house. I shall tell Father to sell you.”
Sell me? I stared up at him.
“I mean what I say, Phillis. If you think I don’t, you’re sadly mistaken. I’ll take you to the auction myself. For God’s sake, Phillis, come!” He shouted his words. They boomed off the rafters.
Some barn swallows took flight. I heard the flapping of their wings as they fluttered about in fear.
“I can’t come.” I sobbed. “I can’t be inoculated!”
“You won’t, you mean. Because you’re stubborn and spoiled! Everyone’s been inoculated! My mother, Mary, everyone!”
“Please, Nathaniel, I can’t.”
He reached for me. I dodged him. He cursed. He said something about what came of treating servants like family and pulled me by my wrist from the straw.
“I can’t,” I yelled. “God sent the pox to scourge me! I must repent!”
His mouth fell open. “What’s that you say?”
Tears were streaming down my face. “It’s what Reverend Sewall said. The disease is God’s curse on us. On me. For what I did. So I can’t get inoculated. I must repent or Aunt Cumsee will die!”
He released my wrist. “God sent the pox to scourge you?”
“Yes. Because I’ve sinned. And I’ve not made amends.”
“So has most of Boston. And with more imagination than you, Phillis, believe me. Explain to me, then, what have you done to bring such chaos down on Boston?”
I felt foolish when he put it that way. As he meant me to feel. “There’s no profit in the telling.”
“Have you stolen something? Look here, Phillis, I won’t have theft. Did you take something from the market when I took you last week?”
I shook my head no.
“Then what? Out with it. I’m weary of this game.”
I looked up at him. He could sell me off if he wished. Or strike me. It was his right. In the state his parents were in, he was likely in charge of the house. I took a deep breath.
“Back home,” I murmured, “I sinned. Because of my actions, my mother was kidnapped with me. And she died.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, that.” He waved the thought away with a hand and picked up his lantern. “God isn’t angry with you for that, Phillis. Take my word for it. He has lots more to be angry about. Now come along. Not taking inoculation and getting sick won’t save Aunt Cumsee. If God wants to take her He right well will. He doesn’t enter into bargains with little girls.”
I felt properly rebuffed and diminished. But I stood my ground.
He turned to leave. “Did you hear me? I’ve run out of patience, Phillis. Come! By all that’s holy! I swear to you, I can abide no more!”
With that he leaned down and swooped me up under one arm, like a roc. He strode through the barn with me in his grasp. All my protests were of no avail.
“I’ll sell you off before I’ll have you stuffing your head with this religious folderol, Phillis. Half the females in Boston are taken with hysteria because of it. Haven’t I taught you anything these last three years?”
His angry words were measured out in cadence with the purposeful steps of his boots in the mud. “I’ll hold with no damned religious nonsense, no dark or ancient suspicions. Haven’t we had enough of that in this province? The days of witchcraft are over. What do you think learning is all about? To dispel all this flapdoodle.”
His anger saved me that night. From myself. It was the only weapon he had. And it was sufficient.