Chapter 19
Snapchat transcript: “It’s giving tragedy” group thread
Zoe: Omg what’s going on with Prof. Chaudhari
Rebecca: Is she sick???? She looks DEAD
Rob: Dude she’s been out of it for like a week
Rob: She has a new boyfriend, bet
Jessica: Ok in the first place are you blind she’s g-a-y
Jessica: Second place yeah she’s down bad for someone
Rob: So you’re saying I was right??
Jessica: I would never say that
Zoe: Did you see her get all misty-eyed when she was talking about Eros and how physically passionate love doesn’t necessarily translate to long-term partnership, but you just have to enjoy and accept it for what it is??? You guys it was so CUTE
Rebecca: All I know is if she doesn’t grade our papers soon I’m filing a complaint
——Forwarded Message——
From: Professor Lareina Vázquez <lv553@columbia.edu>
To: Joni Chaudhari <jc718@columbia.edu>
Sent: August 20 11:24 AM
Subject: Interview prep?
Hi, Joni. I heard you have your first interview with the search committee this Friday, and I’m wondering if you’d like to do some prep. I’ve been meaning to catch you around the department, but haven’t seen you at all the past week—have you been sick? I have office hours Wednesday from 2–4 p.m. if you’d like to drop by. Hope to see you there. LV
“Who are you texting?” Octavia rolled over in bed, her fingers grazing Joni’s arm.
Since their kiss at the Met, they’d spent most of the last few days in bed. Joni had picked up some cow’s blood from a butcher for Octavia (not Octavia’s favorite, but it was convenient to keep it in the hotel room’s little fridge), and went out every so often to get food for herself, mostly boxes of cereal and bodega sandwiches. After weeks of being alone and powerless in New York, Octavia relished the constant companionship more than she imagined possible. Joni was overly enthusiastic and a bit of a weirdo, sure—but she was also funny and empathetic and had an endless appetite to talk with Octavia about absolutely any topic Octavia found interesting.
And Joni’s enthusiasm, Octavia found, was a highly useful quality in someone with whom you were having quite a lot of sex.
“Just checking my email.” Joni shoved her phone over on the nightstand and rolled over to face Octavia. “I thought you were asleep.”
“So you’re not texting another woman?” Octavia needled.
“What?” Joni laughed—then peered at Octavia. “Why? Do you, like, not want me to text other people?”
“No, you can talk to anyone you want,” Octavia said quickly. She lightly kissed the spot at the edge of Joni’s jaw, just below her ear. Joni squirmed against her, and the frisson was delicious. “I just want to make sure you’re not distracted when I have so many occupations for you right here.”
“Oh yeah?” Joni’s breath was hot on Octavia’s neck. “What kinds of occupations did you have in mind?”
Octavia raked her fingers through Joni’s hair—it was so thick, so easy to grab in decadent fistfuls. Joni gasped softly, a high-pitched little noise that made Octavia feel deliciously in control.
“You’re going to do exactly what I tell you, do you understand?”
“Yes.” Joni nodded, eager as always.
“Good girl.” Octavia nipped at Joni’s earlobe, and Joni writhed again, wrapping both of her legs around one of Octavia’s.
“Did I say you could do that?” Octavia teased her.
“Do you want me to stop?” Joni slid her body up Octavia’s thigh, so that now Joni’s thigh was pressed against Octavia too—Octavia moaned despite herself.
“You wicked little thing.” Octavia grinned.
Even without her powers, Octavia was still stronger than Joni—much stronger. In an instant, Octavia had Joni on her back, her thigh pressed between the girl’s legs—Joni instantly arched her back, desperate to create more friction.
“You want me, don’t you?” Octavia leaned down, her face close to Joni’s.
“I always want you,” Joni murmured. She tipped her chin upward—she obviously wanted to kiss Octavia, but Octavia leaned back, out of Joni’s reach.
“Good,” Octavia said softly. “Now lie back and close your eyes.”
Joni did as she was told. Octavia slid her hand between Joni’s legs, working her fingers in slow circles, moving firmer and faster until Joni’s hips jerked and bucked and she screamed out Octavia’s name.
There, Octavia thought as Joni fell back against the mattress, breathing hard. Let’s see her think about some other girl now.
It was well and good for Octavia to sleep all day after having sex all night, but Joni had class, and she was fucking exhausted.
“Don’t go.” Octavia pouted as Joni threw the last of her stuff into her backpack. “It’s raining. Wouldn’t you rather stay here in a nice hot bath?”
“That does sound substantially better than teaching undergrads about modern interpretations of Greek tragedies,” Joni acknowledged. “But if I want to keep collecting my meager stipend, they like for me to show up.”
“It’s cruel, is what it is.” Octavia draped her hands around Joni’s neck. “What are you doing after?”
“I have to meet with my adviser to talk about my job interview.”
“And then?” Octavia raised an eyebrow.
“Umm, home, I guess? Shower, do some laundry, sleep in my own bed? At night?”
The excuse sounded flimsy coming out of Joni’s mouth, but she really did need to get some sleep and prep for her interview—and if past was prologue, she knew she wouldn’t be doing either in this hotel room.
“Good.” Octavia’s tone was chilly. She picked up a champagne coupe filled with blood and took a sip.
“What are you going to do?” Joni asked nervously. “Just hang here?”
“All this rain, I was thinking I might get outside for a bit.”
Octavia gestured toward the suite’s window, where the curtains were uncharacteristically open. The Manhattan skyline looked smeared and dismal in the storm; the view was so romantic Joni thought for a moment about blowing off everything she had to do and spending another day with Octavia. But she couldn’t ditch class…and as nervous as she was to talk with Dr. Vázquez about a job she was certain she wouldn’t get, she knew her adviser was generous to offer to help her prep—and Joni really needed the advice.
“Cool,” Joni said brightly, even though she suddenly felt like crap. “I’ll call you if I hear anything on Lirio?”
“Sounds good.” Octavia got up and wandered toward the bathroom, not bothering to turn around as Joni left. “See you when I see you.”
“Joni, you’re going to be fine,” Dr. Vázquez insisted.
“But what if the committee doesn’t take my work seriously?” Joni wrung her hands. “I mean, I study a lot of pop culture—”
“You study modern interpretations of ancient archetypes,” Dr. Vázquez corrected. “The undergrads love you, you get amazing teaching ratings, and you’ve been published in a major journal.”
“As the second author,” Joni grumbled. She was still salty that Rick Keeton had demoted her on the article they co-wrote three years ago, but she knew they never would have been published in the first place if it wasn’t for his family connections at the journal. So she didn’t complain. It was good for her to get the publication, and Rick was a nice guy who could definitely help her career in the future. It didn’t seem worth picking a fight about credit—even if he was probably about to get her dream job over her. He was the undisputed star of the department, even without that article. He probably would have gotten the job anyway.
“You’re right—this hiring process is going to be extremely competitive,” Dr. Vázquez said bluntly. “And frankly, if you don’t believe you deserve to win the job, I don’t see how you’re going to convince the committee. Our department already has plenty of pretentious blowhards who study so-called serious literature, and of course there’s value in that. But I also believe there’s value in studying popular writing—work that affects millions of people. Don’t you believe that too? Isn’t that why you’re dedicating your career to that pursuit?”
Joni’s cheeks felt hot. Obviously she agreed with Dr. Vázquez—she’d made a version of that same impassioned speech on multiple occasions (usually following three or more glasses of wine).
“You’re right.” Joni sighed. “Of course you’re right. I guess, I don’t know—I guess if I kind of quit on myself before I even apply for the job, it won’t hurt as much when I inevitably don’t get it?”
“No shit.” Dr. Vázquez smiled wryly. “But if you want something in this life, you have to sack up and be vulnerable and fucking go for it. So quit whining and do it already, okay?”
Joni nodded. “I will. I promise.”
She was feeling a lot better when she walked out of Dr. Vázquez’s office—she had a lot of work to do before her interview, but she had almost two full days. All she had to do was stay out of Octavia Yoo’s hotel room.
“Joni, hey!”
Joni looked up to see Rick waiting on a bench outside Dr. Vázquez’s office.
“Oh, hi.” Joni forced a smile. “You’re not waiting for me, are you?”
“Nah, here to talk to Dr. Vázquez about my interview.” He flashed her an easy smile.
“Wait, what? But she’s not even your adviser.”
“Oh, I’m talking to every professor in the department—aren’t you?” He looked at her earnestly.
“Right.” Joni pressed her lips together. “Of course. That makes sense.”
Dr. Vázquez poked her head out of her door. “Rick? I’m ready for you.”
“Cool.” He stood up and grabbed his backpack. “Nice to see you, Joni. And hey, good luck on Friday!”
He gave her an affable pat on the shoulder as he went into the office. Joni tried to shake off what felt like a cross between nausea and white-hot fury, but she was entirely distracted when she saw a tall, gorgeous woman leaning against the wall a few feet away.
“Octavia?” She gasped and rushed over to her. “It’s daylight! What are you doing here?”
“Still raining.” Octavia grinned. “And I was bored! Wanted to see where you’re always running off to. Sat in on a lecture about the long-term ramifications of the Chinese Exclusion Act—someone should tell Professor Chang-Reitman he’s missing a lot of crucial details. And I should know. I was there.”
Joni closed her eyes; she felt a tension headache coming on. “Please do not tell the history professors that you’re a vampire.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it!” Octavia breezed. “Unless they’re cute enough to feed on. Anyway, now that I’m here, what should we do with our afternoon? I could fancy a museum, or maybe an early supper—”
“I can’t, I told you.” Joni sighed. Her phone was buzzing in her bag, and she reached in to grab it.
“Oh, blow off work,” Octavia wheedled. “When you’re as old as I am, you realize how silly all those mortal concerns really are—”
But Joni wasn’t listening to Octavia—she was wide-eyed, staring at her phone.
“What is it now?” Octavia huffed.
Joni looked up, her eyes wide. “It’s Betherton’s assistant. She found an address for Lirio, and she wants me to meet her there tomorrow.”
Joni held out her phone, and Octavia quickly scrolled the messages from Fern.
“This is brilliant,” she breathed.
“No it isn’t!” Joni protested. “My interview is Friday, and I so need to prep. Maybe Fern can reschedule?”
“To introduce you to a notorious recluse?” Octavia looked flabbergasted. “This is the break we’ve been wanting for days, this is exactly what we need to get my brother home, my entire future depends on this!”
“Then go yourself!” Joni burst out. “If you can make it to my campus, you can make it to some townhouse in Gramercy Park.”
“She wants to meet you at two p.m.” Octavia tapped on Joni’s phone. “Is it supposed to rain again tomorrow?”
Joni pulled up her weather app and sighed. “No. Hot and sunny.”
“See?” Octavia took Joni’s hand. “I know your other obligations are important, but this is my whole life we’re talking about. Please, Joni, do this one thing for me—once Callum comes back, I promise I’ll be out of your hair forever.”
“Oh.” Joni was taken aback. “Really?”
Octavia threaded her fingers through Joni’s. “I mean, you have your life, I’ll have mine. No more imposing on your busy schedule. That’s what you want too, right?”
Joni felt a tightness in her chest. What had Dr. Vázquez just said about being vulnerable and going for what you want? It suddenly seemed unbelievably stupid. Because it didn’t matter how much Joni might want something real with Octavia—Octavia would never want it back.
“Right,” Joni mumbled.
“What do you say, then?” Octavia pulled Joni close and kissed her cheek. “Will you meet Fern tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Joni swallowed hard and her voice was flat. “No problem.”
Text message transcript: Joni Chaudhari and Tess Rosenbloom
Joni [1:07 PM]: I know I’ve told you a lot of crazy things in the past few days, but this might top them all?
Joni [1:08 PM]: I am leaving my apartment right now to get on a subway to Gramercy Park, theoretically to go meet August Lirio
Joni [1:08 PM]: Needless to say, I am absolutely losing my shit
Joni [1:09 PM]: I really, really, really wish you were here