Epilogue
——Forwarded Message——
From: The Georgia Hotel <billing@thegeorgiabk.com>
To: Octavia Yoo <yoo.octavia@gmail.com>
Sent: August 30, 11:43 AM
Subject: Final bill
Dear Ms. Yoo,
Attached please find your itemized final bill, including charges for the various scorch marks and piles of ash that needed to be cleaned upon your departure, as well as the charge to replace the carpeting in the cabana suite, which could not be salvaged. It was our pleasure to host you at The Georgia—and may we say, our staff really appreciated the twenty thousand dollar tip! We certainly hope you’ll choose The Georgia for all your future trips to New York.
Have a wonderful day, and let us know if we can be of any further assistance!
Taylor Litman
Manager, The Georgia Hotel
Transcript of Here to Slay podcast, episode 91
Cat: Hey, this is Cat!
Ruby: And this is Ruby.
Cat: And we have a really fun show today, which I’m affectionately calling, “Who was the best romantic partner for Buffy, and why was it Faith?”
Ruby: This is the homosexual agenda in full force.
Cat: Correct. But first, Ruby, we have a lot of Blood Feud updates this week?
Ruby: I’ll say! It started when Blood Feud author August Lirio announced they were unveiling their identity at four-thirty a.m. at a hotel in Brooklyn.
Cat: Then they didn’t even show! And someone pulled a fire alarm and someone else insisted there were real vampires at the hotel, and either that’s true or this person faked puncture wounds on their neck for attention, which seems, you know.
Ruby: A lot more plausible?
Cat: Tough, but fair.
Ruby: But it turned out Lirio was just whetting our appetite for even more exciting news! Three days after the hotel debacle, they announced that we’re finally getting a fourth Blood Feud novel!!!
Cat: How happy are you right now, Ruby? Scale of one to ten?
Ruby: Thirty million.
Cat: Sounds right! So what do we know so far about the book?
Ruby: We know we’re going to see a major shift in who we consider to be the heroes and villains of the series. And we’ll meet our first-ever human character—apparently a young woman named Jess.
Cat: Ugh, not a teen though, right?! Not that I hate teen girls, teen girls fucking rule, just enough with teaching them to have crushes on two-hundred-year-old men, you know?
Ruby: Agree!! And no, Jess is a full adult, which is nice. The final thing we know is that this is going to be the last book in the Blood Feud series.
Cat: No!!!
Ruby: I know. But August Lirio promises they have other series in mind—including potentially building out Bar Between and showing us other worlds the characters we love can visit.
Cat: I didn’t really follow that, but it sounds cool?
Ruby: It’s extremely cool.
Cat: Okay! Now that we have the big news out of the way, let’s take our first break, which is sponsored by Joke TK. You might think that means I just haven’t written a joke here yet, but you’d be wrong! Joke TK is actually a service that uses artificial intelligence to steal jokes from the greatest comedy writers of all time, then adapt them slightly for your specific needs. Worried about a wedding toast or company holiday party chitchat? Joke TK has bots at the ready to find the perfect joke for you.
Ruby: Are the jokes…funny?
Cat: Um. Sometimes! We’ll be back right after this.
——Forwarded Message——
From: Elaine Harriman <eharriman@earthlink.net>
BCC: Undisclosed Recipient List
Sent: September 4, 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: Emergency meeting
Thanks to everyone who made the meeting tonight—I’m glad this mess is finally behind us. For those who missed the meeting, the vote was unanimous to lift the travel ban between the Isle and other dimensions, and those who live on the Isle are free to return through Bar Between after routine questioning via truth serum. (We don’t believe anyone else was aiding Konstantin Adamos, Felix Hawthorn, and Fern Castillo, but it’s prudent to be certain.) As for Fern, she’ll be dealt with by our council at a trial date TBD. If you have any questions, please ask someone else. I’m getting too old for this.
Text message transcript: Joni Chaudhari and Tess Rosenbloom
Joni [10:14 AM]: TESS TESS OH MY GOD TESSSSSSS
Joni [10:14 AM]: Sorry I know you’re at the disciplinary hearing, I’m gonna be there to hug your face off when it’s over, but I had to tell you about the apartment IMMEDIATELY?!?!
Joni [10:15 AM]: Ok first of all the building has a DOORMAN, who is happy to accept packages and buzz in takeout and also call one of the building’s COMPLIMENTARY CARS AND DRIVERS for us any time we need???
Joni [10:16 AM]: There is MAID SERVICE and BUTLER SERVICE (idk what that is) and also a view of the park??? And both our rooms have ensuites?? With massive tubs?!?! Oh my god we have a vampire sugar mama and I’ve literally never been happier 
Joni [10:16 AM]: (Also don’t worry our rooms are at opposite ends of the floor you will never have to hear it when Octavia comes to town)
Joni [10:17 AM]: Ok I’ll see you at 11, hope everything goes great. I’m so proud of you no matter what happens and I love you so so much!!!
Joni [10:26 AM]: OH MY GOD THERE IS A BUILT-IN ESPRESSO MACHINE AND THE BUTLER WILL SOURCE BEANS FOR US THAT IS WHAT HE DOES
Transcript of Tess Rosenbloom’s victim impact statement at Columbia University Dean’s Discipline Hearing
Good morning, and thank you for taking the time to listen to my statement. It’s been three years since Rick Keeton drugged and sexually assaulted me, after which I began to experience severe anxiety and panic attacks and dropped out of my PhD program as a result. I’m grateful to have been given the opportunity to return to Columbia this semester, and that I feel strong enough to be on a campus where the man who assaulted me is still a student too. But I don’t think I should have to endure any more stress, panic, and terror on his account than I already have—and I think it’s appropriate that he experience consequences for his actions. That’s why I decided to move forward with disciplinary proceedings against him.
You have a big decision to make today regarding whether Rick will be allowed to remain a PhD candidate on this campus. You may choose to consider leniency, because after all, this happened long ago. And it’s often said that young men shouldn’t have their whole lives ruined because of one mistake.
But what about our lives?
What about all the women who’ve fallen in love with schools or cities or careers, who’ve had our futures derailed because we had to make impossible choices to navigate our trauma as best we could, to keep going, to stay alive?
In coming forward, I knew there was a chance I’d be labeled as just “that girl who Rick assaulted.” But I know that I’m so much more than what he did to me—I want my life to be bigger, and happier, and more fruitful than the impact of his actions. And I want Columbia to be more than the place where I was assaulted. Years from now, when I look back on my time in graduate school, I want to think of my professors, the sparks of inspiration they engendered in me. I want to recall my fellow students, our long hours laughing and debating literature, their unconditional support when I told them what happened to me, the way they took it upon themselves to make sure I would never again walk anywhere on campus alone.
There is so much good in this place, in these people. I think the way we stay good is by standing up for each other. Finding some small way in our own lives to emulate the heroes we admire in our favorite books. It’s probably easier to turn a blind eye, to shut our mouths and move on. But don’t we owe each other something more?
No matter what you decide, I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak today. I spent far too long staying silent. It feels really, really good to use my voice.
——Forwarded Message——
From: Professor Lareina Vázquez <lv553@columbia.edu>
To: Joni Chaudhari <jc718@columbia.edu>
Sent: April 3, 10:01 AM
Subject: Congratulations!
Joni, I was so delighted to hear you were appointed as a new assistant professor in our department—congratulations! I don’t know if you heard, but you beat out nearly a hundred applicants for the position. I am so proud of you, and I know you deserve this. I hope you know it too.
On a personal note, I want to say how moved I was by your proposal to start a support system for survivors of gender-based violence inside the department. I was horrified to hear about Rick Keeton, and glad the university decided to expel him—but we must do more. I want to help with your proposal in any way I can. Let’s have coffee next week to discuss?
Congratulations again. Look forward to speaking soon. LV
Text message transcript: Tess Rosenbloom, Nantale Anguyo, Hamish Shields, and Sylvie Kamler
Sylvie [1:23 PM]: Hello? Is this working?
Hamish [1:23 PM]: Oh my GOD, Sylvie made a group thread?!? I’m LIVING.
Sylvie [1:23 PM]: My son got me this phone, I hate it.
Sylvie [1:24 PM]: But I wanted you all to know we’re having seder at my daughter’s place on the Upper West Side on Thursday night, and you’re welcome to join us.
Sylvie [1:25 PM]: Sunset is at 7:43, so we’ll start at 8. Good?
Hamish [1:26 PM]: Is there gonna be brisket???
Sylvie [1:27 PM]: No, we do lamb for passover.
Hamish [1:27 PM]: Ugh, fine. I’ll still come.
Tess [1:27 PM]: Hi!! Thursday is great! I’m not sure if Joni and Octavia will be in town, but Callum and I are in!
Nantale [1:37 PM]: Thank you for the invitation. I would be pleased to join you, and I will bring the blood of a virgin for all to enjoy.
Hamish [1:38 PM]: Okay see NOW it’s a party
Tumblr post from user FeuderTruther, posted May 14
This is gonna sound crazy, but I think Callum Yoo is living in Greenwich Village?! I feel like I see him everywhere (but never during the day??). I mean maybe it’s just some random hot Korean guy, but I swear, he looks EXACTLY like the old photos we used to post of Callum and Octavia. (And bad news, he also has a super cute girlfriend, this auburn-haired chick, they’re like obsessed with each other, UGGHHH!!!) But anyway, is he off the Isle?! Does this have to do with Lirio’s new book?!? Wtf is happening!!!!!!
It was a quiet Tuesday night in Greenwich Village. Tess had just finished grading her last papers of the school year a few hours before, and the entire summer was spread before her like a fabulous invitation. Joni and Octavia were off in Paris for a little shopping holiday, but they’d be back in a few days. The two weren’t officially together, but they certainly seemed to be enjoying their cycle of bickering, sex, and lavish vacations. Callum wanted to do something extravagant to celebrate Tess finishing her semester, but she was too tired for a Michelin-starred tasting menu or an impromptu night at the opera, so they settled on drinks at a wine bar close to Callum’s new townhouse. (Well, his very old townhouse, which was dark and creaky and reminded Tess a great deal of his rooms on the Isle.) The bar always had an assortment of bottles open, and Tess loved that they would give you lots of tastes before you chose a glass. She and Callum were sitting at the bar, tipsy on glasses of fizzy rosés and funky chilled reds.
“Come on,” he needled her. “Just one?”
“We did one last night,” Tess protested coyly.
“But it’s so fun when we do it together.” He grinned, then leaned in close to murmur in her ear. “And afterward, I have a really good surprise for you at home.”
“Oh, yeah?” She laughed. “What kind of surprise?”
“You’ll find out when I give it to you, won’t you?” Callum winked. “So what do you say—just one?”
“Fine.” Tess sighed happily. “A quick one.”
A few minutes later, they were strolling through the meatpacking district, eyeing the club-goers and bridge-and-tunnel oglers and finance bros who dropped a grand on bottle service in the middle of the week.
“No, no. Not him, no.” Callum was getting antsy—Tess threaded her fingers through his. “Ah. There.”
Callum nodded toward a man in a dark suit lurking outside a club entrance. He was handsome and pale, with sharply angled features and a hungry look about him—and talking to a girl in her early twenties who was drunk enough that she teetered on her platform heels.
“Ohh.” Tess nodded. “Absolutely.”
“Go get him, love,” Callum whispered, giving Tess’s ass a friendly squeeze as she set off toward the man.
“Ohmigod, girl, what are you doing out here?” Tess put on her own drunken affect as she approached the girl. “Everyone’s looking for you!”
“What?” The girl look confused. “Who are you?”
“I’m Zoe’s friend,” Tess said, as if that explained everything.
“Excuse me,” the man broke in. “We’re in the middle of a conversation.”
But Tess just ignored him—kept her focus on the girl. “Just go inside, okay? Everyone’s really worried.”
“Cool.” The girl nodded and did as Tess said, ambling back toward the club’s entrance.
“What was that about?” The man gave Tess a frustrated scowl. “We were just talking.”
“Now you can talk to me.” Tess smiled viciously, dropping her drunken act.
“And me,” Callum said as he appeared beside her.
The man turned and snarled at Callum, baring his fangs—but his expression changed completely when he recognized Callum’s face.
“Oh, fuck,” he groaned. “Callum Yoo?”
“Konstantin was right about you,” Tess breathed as Callum pushed her up against the wall of the entry to his townhouse, kissing his way down her neck. “You are violent.”
“But only in the best ways,” he growled, nipping at her earlobe.
The worst part about the witches allowing all the vampires to come back from the Isle was that pieces of shit like the one they’d just staked were roaming the streets of New York.
The best part was how much Callum liked killing them—and how much he loved sleeping with Tess after a fight.
“God, you look good.” He pushed her hair out of her face. “Why do you look so good?”
“Being in love suits me,” she murmured. He kissed her deeper, and his hands started to wander over the contours of her slippery dress…
“Hey!” She laughed. “What about my surprise? Or was the surprise just, you know?”
“Sex?” He grinned. “I mean, we’re definitely doing that, but I wouldn’t call it a surprise. This, on the other hand…”
He grabbed a thick envelope off the hall table and handed it to her.
“What is it?” She frowned.
“If I tell you, it’s not a surprise.”
“Smart ass.” She smacked his arm with the envelope.
“Ooh, nice one,” he teased. “Do it again. Harder.”
“Yeah, you like that?” She laughed. “Okay, let’s see what we have here…”
The paper of the envelope was thick and creamy. She tore it open and found two plane tickets to London—a night flight, of course.
“A trip?” she asked, her eyes lighting up. “I’ve never been to Europe.”
“I know.” He smiled. “But it’s actually a bit more than that. Keep going.”
She put the tickets down and reached back into the envelope—there was another, smaller envelope inside, letter-sized, embossed with the seal of the Royal Shakespeare Company.
“Callum.” Tess inhaled sharply. “What is this?”
“Read it.” He grinned. Her hands were shaking as she opened the envelope and removed the letter inside.
“Dear Ms. Rosenbloom,” she read aloud, “it is our pleasure to offer you a position as an assistant dramaturg and company researcher on this summer’s forthcoming production of Macbeth—”
She dropped the letter and leaped into Callum’s arms.
“How did you do this?!” she yelped, kissing him again and again.
“Your adviser helped.” He laughed, hugging her close. “I knew the right people to call, but she told them how special you are and how lucky they’d be to have you. I thought we could spend the summer together, if you like? I know it’ll be harder with the longer days, but you’ll be busy with the play, and it’ll rain plenty because it’s England, and I can show you where I grew up in London—”
“Oh my god, you don’t have to sell me! This is the best thing that’s ever happened in my entire life.”
She kissed him deeply, and he sighed with contentment.
“So you’re happy?” he asked.
She nodded, suddenly emotional. “Happier than I thought I’d ever be again.”
“I feel the same way,” he whispered.
“How soon do we leave?” she asked. “I didn’t even look at the date on the tickets.”
“Two weeks,” he said. “Is that all right?”
“Two weeks is good.” Tess nodded. “What are you doing between now and then?”
“Why?” he laughed. “What did you have in mind?”
“Well,” Tess said, “I got a text from Flora the other day complaining that we never come to visit her at the bar anymore. There are a lot of worlds we still haven’t seen…”
“Tess Rosenbloom.” Callum grinned. “What precisely are you suggesting?”
She kissed him again, her eyes glinting with excitement.
“Do you want to go have an adventure?”