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Natasha
“NAT! NAT! THERE YOU are.”
She paused at the entrance to Winterspell’s main castle-like building as the shout echoed out across the courtyard behind her.
Sara came jogging up to her, robes flapping. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“I was up on the wall patrolling with Rane,” she told her friend. “I thought you knew that. I swear I told you that.”
“You were supposed to be done an hour ago,” Sara pointed out.
“Oh.” Natasha frowned, biting her lip. “Yeah, I guess we stayed to talk for a bit after.”
Sara nodded. “Getting awfully chummy with a dragon, don’t you think?”
Natasha rolled her eyes. She wanted to tell Sara what was going on, but Loiner had sworn her to secrecy. ‘People talk’ she’d told Natasha icily. Despite their best intentions, people always talked. So the only way to prevent word from reaching Rane of what they were planning, was for her to tell absolutely no one.
Which meant she had to ignore Sara’s barbed comments. “I’m his liaison. It’s literally my job to talk to him,” she pointed out.
“For an hour past duty time?” Sara’s nose flared in disgust. “Right. Just don’t do anything stupid, okay?”
“Like what?” she scoffed.
“I don’t know. Kiss him? Pull an Anna and fall in love? Stay strong, okay?”
Natasha swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. Wouldn’t dream of any of it,” she said, forcing a smile onto her face. “You were looking for me?” she said, desperate for any change of topic.
“Yeah. Loiner called me into her office. Sent me to come find you. I guess she wants to see you? No idea why. You did tell her about the patrol thing, right?” Sara pressed. “Can’t have those dragons just doing things without telling us. Who knows what they’re plotting, the bastards. Thinking they’re so important.”
Natasha wanted to ask her friend just when the dragons had acted like they were important, but she didn’t. Sara was staunchly anti-dragon, and no amount of convincing would change that, she knew. So she just didn’t bother.
“I told her, yes. Don’t worry. Thanks,” she added belatedly, walking up the stairs to head inside and toward the offices. “She’s in her office I assume?”
“Yeah. Hey, what does she want to see you about?” Sara called.
“Probably wants to yell at me for talking to a dragon just like my friend,” Natasha called back, trying to pass it off like a joke.
“Maybe she can knock some sense into your head then,” Sara fired right back.
Natasha just waved at her friend and went inside.
“So much for a change of topic,” she sighed, well aware of exactly why Loiner wanted to see her.
She wanted an update on how things were going with Rane.
The closer Natasha got to the Master’s office, the more her stomach started to churn unpleasantly. She was seriously not looking forward to doing this, to talking to Loiner and revealing the things Rane had been telling her.
What is going on with you? Pull yourself together! You’re just doing a job, nothing more. Remember that.
Steeling herself, she knocked on the door and entered immediately at the barked command that followed.
“Ah. Initiate Celland. Good to see you. It’s been too long,” Loiner said calmly, leaning back in her high-backed chair to stare intently at the Initiate.
“I’ve been busy doing as you asked,” Natasha said, trying to act like she hadn’t just been rebuked for not reporting in earlier.
“Have you now? Good. That’s good, I’m glad to hear it. Has it been paying dividends? Tell me,” she said darkly, leaning forward. “What have you learned?”
“Um.” Natasha paused, trying to sort out her thoughts. What had she learned? What could she tell Loiner?
Why aren’t you just telling her everything?
“Is there a problem, Initiate?” Loiner asked.
Natasha gulped at the emphasis on her rank. A rank that could be elevated if she did a good job.
Or taken away if she failed. The threat was much more present than any promise of reward. Natasha had worked too hard for this to give up now.
“They’re planning something,” she said. “Rane admitted it. He was late to patrol today, and said it was because he was doing something for Rokh, who is there—”
“I know who the damnable fire dragon is,” Loiner snarled. “So he’s involved in it, is he?”
Natasha stayed quiet, feeling guilty about what she’d just done.
Why do you care? What’s going on with you? You’re stronger than this!
Perhaps she was, but Natasha’s insides were in turmoil, and she no longer knew what she wanted to do or why she was doing it. Nor did she fully understand why she was suddenly so reluctant to reveal everything Rane had told her.
What is wrong with me? The churning of her stomach only grew stronger.
“What else do you have for me?” Loiner pressed. “What is it they’re planning?”
“I don’t know,” Natasha said helplessly, her fear of Loiner outweighing everything else. “Um.”
“Nearly a week, and that’s all you can provide me?” Loiner snapped.
“Oh. The dragons are only going to get stronger,” she said, recalling something else Rane had told her, fear pulling the memory to the front.
“What do you mean?”
“Um, we witches, we’re born with a certain amount of magic. We learn how to harness it, but early on we usually know how strong a witch will be. Not so with dragons. The older they get, the stronger they become.”
Loiner sat back, digesting that bit of information. “So the longer they’re here, the more powerful each one of them will get,” she said, coming to the same conclusion Natasha had.
“Yes.”
“What else?”
Natasha froze. Loiner wanted more from her?
“I don’t have anything else,” she said, raising her arms helplessly. “I’m sorry.”
“You have to do better,” Loiner snapped. “I expect more from you, Initiate Celland. You are capable of bigger, better things. I can see that. But you’re going to need to dig deeper, to do whatever it takes to get him to trust you, to befriend you.”
“I can’t force his trust,” Natasha said, feeling sick to her stomach at what she was doing.
“Then manufacture it. Fake it. Do whatever you need to do,” Loiner said icily. “I don’t care what it takes, but we must find out what they’re planning, before they follow through on it. People could die for this, Initiate. Do you understand that?”
Natasha nodded slowly, a few things coming clearer to her as she watched and listened to Loiner talk.
“I’ll figure it out,” she said, trying to sound far more confident than she felt.
“You had better,” Loiner said. “Now go. Do whatever you must.”
Nodding jerkily, Natasha backed away several steps then spun and fled the office. There was no more dignified way to describe it. The second she was out the door, she turned and ran down the hallway, putting as much distance between her and Loiner as she could in case the woman called her back.
She kept going, heading higher and higher into the building, away from the other people until she could be alone in one of the upper levels that weren’t frequented by many.
Finding an empty room, she walked out onto the balcony, looking down at Winterspell. The place that had been her home for twelve years. Where she’d grown up, learned the truth of her powers and the world she was a part of.
Where she’d met Rane.
“What am I doing?” she moaned into her hands, slumping to the ground, feeling defeated and disgusted with herself.
Was she making a horrible mistake? And if so, how did she fix it?
She was trapped.
