Chapter Three

 

I have no idea what I was thinking as I finally pulled myself together enough to finish dressing. All I knew was my temper was rising and I needed to vent.

How dare Quaid reach for me after all this time, be nice, sweet even, worry about me? Treat me like there might still be something between us, hug me for goodness sakes? Twice? I wanted to be mad, to rage to someone about his absolute arrogance and could only think of one person who would listen to me in this shape.

Liam came right to the entry of the cavern as I stormed my way through the shields and he just stood there, his mouth open a little, eyes wide as I dove right into what became a ten-minute rant about Quaid and what a jerk he was.

“… arrogant, bossy, over bearing, how dare he think he can just contact me and everything’s all freaking okay and crap? Because it’s not okay, not even a little bit, him and his high and mighty jerkathonabration of three whole months being a total ass not even giving me the time of day, flaunting around with those Enforcer friends of his. Who aren’t, by the way. Trainees. Yeah. Trainees who think everyone around them should give a rat’s furry behind. Jerkwads in training more like.”

Not like Liam hadn’t heard this particular performance before. Every slight, imagined or otherwise, Liam was my go-to guy. He listened with sympathy, agreed with me Quaid was an absolute ass who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as me and held me when my typical raving wound down into a tear-soaked sob fest.

But when I spun to fire off another nasty line, I saw the hurt and anger in Liam’s face, sharp enough it brought me to an abrupt halt.

“What?” I held up both hands while Charlotte sat down on the floor next to Galleytrot and gave his big head a good scratch, face expressionless even as the black dog’s eyes flared with red fire.

“Nothing.” Liam walked into the library section of the chamber, turning his back to me as he rifled through parchment and quills on his desk. I grabbed his arm and spun him around to face me. Only to wince at the pain on his face.

“Something,” I said. “Liam.”

He shrugged, a rather violent gesture for someone normally so sweet and kind. “I’m just getting tired of it, that’s all.”

“Tired of what?” I’m not normally clueless, but where was the problem? Not like we hadn’t been here before.

Awareness dawned. Syd, you idiot.

“You know how I feel about you.” Liam wouldn’t meet my eyes, head down, voice quiet, the rumble of it rough with emotion as he confirmed what my very selfish brain just realized. “And you know I don’t care you don’t feel the same.” He finally looked up, hazel eyes rimmed with moisture. “But when you talk about him all the time…”

I lurched forward and hugged Liam, pressing my nose into his chest, breathing in the scent of rich earth and fabric softener, feeling his arms around me and kicking myself mentally for hurting the only person who never, ever, hurt me back.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Liam, I’m such a jerk.”

“No,” he said. “You’re not.” He drew a deep breath, gently pushed me away. Even managed a little smile, bless him. “I’m here for you, no matter what. You can talk to me about anything. Even him.”

I shook my head. “No more,” I said. “I can’t believe you put up with me for this long. Besides, he made his choice. I just don’t know how to get him out of here.” I thumped one fist against my chest, where my heart pounded painfully once before settling again. “I really want him out.”

Liam didn’t say anything for a moment, but when he finally spoke, there was so much love in his voice I wanted to cry.

“No, you don’t,” he said. “But that’s okay.”

I opened my mouth to protest—was it false protest?—only to have Liam take my hand and smile for real.

“I know you don’t love me the way I love you,” he said with the same simple, kind, quietness I adored about him. “That you don’t feel for me what you do for Quaid. It’s my own fault for not doing everything I can to let you go. But I can’t help it either. And no matter how much it might hurt at times, I don’t want you out of here either.” He pressed my captured hand to his chest, the beating of his pulse heavy under my palm.

I was the most horrible person who ever lived.

Before I could implode from my sheer terribleness, I filled Liam in on the trip to Demonicon, at the very least to change the subject.

“Just be careful,” he said as he guided me to the exit, Charlotte drifting out into the basement alone to check ahead. Why did everyone keep saying that to me? They were making me nervous. “But have fun, too. I can’t wait to hear what happens.”

There, see? The perfect guy, really. Equal parts support and concern.

What the hell was wrong with me I couldn’t feel the same about Liam as he felt for me?

After another gentle hug, I slipped through the portal and headed for the main floor. But the sound of claws clicking on stone and the huff of hot breath on my hand made me pause. I turned and found Galleytrot on my heels, looking up at me.

“We need to talk,” he said.

Nothing good ever followed those words.

“Okay.” I waved Charlotte off and trailed after the big hound into one of the storage rooms. I knew she’d hover outside and hear everything we said, but the one thing I’d learned about Charlotte was she knew how to keep her mouth shut.

Galleytrot sank to his haunches, fixing me with his endlessly deep black eyes. “I’m worried about Liam.”

A shot of panic raced through me. “Is he okay?” If anything happened to him, we’d be in so much trouble. He was the last of the O’Danes, the only one who could answer the knock of the Sidhe when it came once a year. Without him, the Gate would open and the Seelie and Unseelie would pour into our world again.

“It’s not physical.” Galleytrot chuffed softly. “It’s an affliction of the heart.”

I pulled back. Wasn’t I feeling badly enough already the big mutt had to bring it up?

“None of your business,” I said. Actually, half snapped, half mumbled.

“It is my business,” he said. “The health and wellbeing of the Gatekeeper is very important to me.” He sighed out a breath. “To all of us.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I can’t help it.”

The dog nodded slowly. “I’m not asking you to change your heart’s desire,” he said. “No one can do that. And trying can be disastrous.” He leaned forward and licked my hand. “I just want you to promise me you won’t break his heart.”

That was the last thing I wanted, too. So I nodded and watched as Galleytrot left me, padding his enormous way through the door and back across the hall, disappearing in a flash of Sidhe green magic.

If only I could assure myself I could keep my promise, we’d be all set.

 

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