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If this was what a small party looked like to the guys, I didn’t want to know what a big party was like. I kept to the edges, far away from as many people as I could. Some I recognized, others it was impossible to know because of their costumes.
A yellow minion bumped into me, looked me over, and then kept walking without saying anything.
Okay then.
“This is a bit insane,” Micah said, joining me.
“Where are the twins?” I asked.
He tilted his head in their direction. They were currently dancing with some other girls. There was a barbie with them. And a sexy witch. And a sexy vampire. And well, a sexy everything. It was a bit refreshing to see Lillian and Hazel’s tame Dolly and Reba costumes.
“Did I mess up?” I asked. “It looks like girls are supposed to be sexier.”
Micah snorted. “And I’d make you change.”
I leaned into him. “Come on, big brother. It’s all in the spirit of Halloween.”
Rolling his eyes, “Do not ever call me that again.” He shuddered.
“What? You don’t like the idea of being my big brother?”
“Too much between us for me to be your big brother. We’re family, a million percent. My mom has adoption papers already filled out. But even if so...I don’t know. Big brother is just too wrong.”
I chuckled and leaned into him. “I get it. I really do.”
“Oh, someone is in trouble.” Micah pointed toward the front door. I followed, trying to see past a white ghost and a black...something.
Seth had Toby cornered. Toby looked all too smug, Seth looked pissed. Truly pissed. A new expression I hadn’t seen before. It didn’t sit well with me seeing him like that.
“Think I need to go defuse whatever that is,” I said and pushed away from the wall, unable to not do anything.
“—isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” Seth was saying as I got into earshot. “There are too many people. How the fuck did this happen?”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Toby’s smug expression smoothed out into a more genuine smile while Seth only continued to scowl at his best friend.
“The party is too big and if we don’t get a handle on it, we’ll get into trouble,” Seth said.
“It’s being handled, I promise,” Toby said. “Paxon helped and you know him. He’s good at this stuff.”
“I don’t believe this bullshit.” Seth blew out a breath. “No more people.”
Toby shrugged. “Everyone is here anyways. Be excited, bro. Everyone’s here because they’re excited about soccer. Morale is high. Let’s enjoy it.”
“Bryan can’t get into trouble over this party. You know that.”
“I do. Which is why Paxon is keeping a close eye on the drinks. No alcohol here. And the rules on drugs are already airtight. With everyone here being in sports, no one would dare risk it.”
Seth pointed at him. “This cannot get out of control. We’re mostly adults now. They won’t be as forgiving as they were in the past.”
That seemed to sober Toby. “It won’t. I promise.”
Seth stalked off, muttering under his breath as he disappeared into the kitchen.
“Toby,” I said. “Is everything really under control? Because if it isn’t....”
“Candy Pop.” Toby cupped my face.
His gaze was filled with a determined glint that set me on edge. Something was up, and he knew it wasn’t necessarily a good something either. Toby’s thumbs brushed gently across my cheeks, his reassuring touch momentarily distracting me. My breath hitched as I wondered what he was going to do. For a moment, all he did was take in my features.
“It is, I promise,” he whispered, locking his brown eyes with me. We were so close that I could see the deep, forest green in them, a color that only seemed to shine when he was in serious mode. “I won’t let anything bad happen. Not anymore.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek, his warmth there only briefly before he was gone, leaving me in a bit of a daze.
“Dance with us.” Hazel popped up in front of me, making me jump out.
My nerves were beginning to frazzle at the edges with Seth’s unhappiness and with how many people there were. It was hard to move around without bumping into at least two people each step. “Uh, singing, I can do. Dancing, I think I’ll pass.”
Hazel giggled before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the circle of sexy costumes. Everyone jumped around and laughed. That happiness rubbed off on me, calming me. Hazel and Lillian stuck by, always within touching distance, helping to keep my nerves down. We easily danced our way through three songs before I was tired. The twins didn’t look like they were going to calm down any time soon.
I slowed my movements and looked around, taking in all the people, all the different costumes.
So this was what a Halloween party was like. I had never been to one before. I had to admit, it was fun. Exciting. And nerve wracking.
“Want me to save you?” Micah asked, dancing his way to my side. “I’ll distract and you run?”
“I like this plan.”
He laughed as he turned to the twins and began dancing with them. He eventually got it so he was facing me with the twins’ back to me. His wink was the signal I needed. I took that opportunity to save my feet.
Not only did I want to save my feet, but I needed to save my brain too. The music was loud enough to make it hard to hear my own thoughts. I grabbed a cup of cold apple cider and headed for the backyard, through the living room. The door had already been slid open and some of the party was out there, though quieter. The pool had been closed up for the winter, but it didn’t keep people from sitting at the edge, letting their feet dangle.
“Over here.” Bryan’s deep voice grabbed my attention from the shadows. He was as far from the party as he could get.
“I don’t think this is how partying is supposed to work,” I said as I approached him. He had taken one of the long lawn chairs and dragged it to the other side of the yard. He moved his feet, giving me room to sit.
“I’m going to murder Toby when this is all over,” he said.
“He’s completely sure that this won’t get out of control.”
Bryan snorted. “He said that the last time too. Then the cops came, and I had to face hell from my parents. They almost forced me into private school.” Bryan shuddered. “What the fuck would I do at private school?”
“Get smarter. Imagine taking all those fancy classes. Going into college and being able to skip most of your first year, if not all.”
“It’s actually rather horrifying. My life would be all studying and no fun.”
I snorted. “You know, my mom once considered transferring me to one of the private schools. I looked at their curriculum and said it was ridiculous. To pay that much, to do that much work. I told her she was crazy.”
“About what I told my mom too when she tried to transfer me,” Bryan said.
“Did she hit you?”
Bryan didn’t respond right away, instead staring at me. I looked down at my hands, remembering that particular memory. Lindie definitely hit me for trying to defy her. Then I reasoned with her about the cost of the school and the time commitment. That had worked.
“She has never hit me,” Bryan finally said.
I smiled. “Good.”
Bryan reached over and linked our fingers together. “Cadence.”
I shook my head. “We’re supposed to be having fun. We’re at a party. Not this.”
“Well, parties are overrated. And Seth is going to crack and shut it down soon anyway.”
“Well until then, I think I’m going to go find something to do. I’m all danced out, so what’s next?” I raised a questioning eyebrow at Bryan, hoping he had better insight into these things than I did.
Bryan chuckled. “Well, there isn’t a pool, so you can’t jump into that. Maybe jump from the rooftop?”
“Do people really do that? I thought that was just supposed to be like books and movies or something? Or those crazy stunt shows?”
“I don’t know.” Bryan stood and stretched. He wore the ‘I Want It That Way’ shirt, the words written in pink. It rose up, giving me a peek at his skin. Bryan didn’t do sports as much as the others, but I had seen him mess around with them and hold his own well enough. He was softer, but he still took care of his body. “I’m going to go make sure no one’s broken anything.”
“I’ll join. Would be sucky if tomorrow we find that Seth’s favorite things are all broken.”
We circled slowly around the pool area. Bryan quickly went into the house and came out a moment later with a garbage bag. People were leaving behind paper plates and cups all over the place. And candy wrappers.
“Oh, look at this.” Bryan held up a sheet of paper and then turned it. Green Halloween stickers shined back, the lighting too soft to stop it from glowing in the dark. Bryan grabbed one of the pumpkin stickers and put it against my cheek.
I laughed, pulling back out of reach, feeling the coldness against my skin.
“It’s cute.”
“Oh yeah?” I grabbed the sheet and grabbed the ghost symbol and made sure to smack it against his forehead.
“Hey, gentle. I didn’t smack you to do it.”
“Please, I didn’t do it that hard.” I slowly smoothed it out to make sure it was actually stuck to his skin.
We shoved more stickers on each other, trying to avoid the other, laughing as we became more glowy all over our face.
“Now this is the Halloween spirit,” Toby said with a grin, joining us.
I coughed, swallowing my laughter. While Toby was distracted with me, Bryan used the opportunity to put a witch riding a broomstick on his cheek.
I laughed again.
“What are you guys doing?” Toby asked.
I lifted the garbage bag. “Making sure this place doesn’t get trashed.”
“Oh no. No, no, no.” Toby snagged the bag from me. “You’re supposed to be having fun. Going around and sticking those stickers on everyone.”
“I am having fun.” I tried to reach for the bag.
Toby pulled it out of reach, using his body to block me. “Nope. If you don’t make yourself sick from sugar by the end of this party, then we did it wrong and we’ll hate ourselves. So go. Get sick.”
“Go get sick. Wow. That makes me even more excited.” I made sure to sink sarcasm into my response.
Toby only glared at me, making sure to keep the garbage bag out of my reach.
“Fine.” I gave up. “I’ll go dance some more with the twins.”
“Perfect.” Toby remained grinning even as I made my way back into the house, trying to figure out how to not end up dancing.
I quickly spotted Seth talking with Batman and Superman. Paxon was around his soccer friends, Justin around some of his swimming teammates. Everyone seemed distracted.
I went into the kitchen, taking note of the piling garbage.
“Well, I’m surprised it took me this long to bump into you.”
I whirled around and came face-to-face with Benji dressed up as what looked like some kind of samurai, a wooden sword at his side.
Swallowing my discomfort, I took a deep breath. “What are you?” I asked.
“Anime character.”
I looked him over more carefully, trying to piece together that new bit of information. The style and color of the clothes. His hair style. The markings on the right side of his forehead. The earring dangling.
“Demon Slayer.”
His eyes widened briefly. “You know.”
“The guys have talked about it.”
Benji made a humming noise and something dark flashed across his expression. “Right. Your friends.” The way he said that sent a tingle of awareness crawling through me.
I wanted to puke as my thoughts went back to the assault. His expression was too similar to those boys. It was clear he was looking at me as something to be used rather than a human being. Benji was crass and angry for some reason. Ever since rumors about me and the guys began circling, he’d become one of the worst, always making disgusting comments that the guys knew about and I didn’t need to hear to understand.
Frankly, I was surprised he was even here. I had nearly blurted it out when I turned around realized it was Benji who joined me.
“We’re slated to win the championship. We’re at our best this year.”
“So?” I asked.
“Paxon.”
“Is an excellent player.”
“When he isn’t distracted by you.”
I snorted. “That’s a load of bullshit, and you know it.”
Benji stepped closer to me. “He needs to keep his head in the game, not lost in the clouds thinking about getting your ass.”
“I may not go around kicking a ball on a field, but I know about focus,” I snapped back, trying to hide my rising fear. “About having to have my head in the right space every time I have to perform in front of hundreds or thousands of people. And having someone there, at your side who cares about you. That is never a distraction. Never belittle the work that Paxon has put into soccer.”
Benji’s lip curled up in disgust. “You really are only just a whore.” His cold words felt like a slap, and I flinched. Enjoying my reaction, he grinned, flashing teeth before turning and disappearing into the living room where everyone was dancing.
Once he was out of sight, I blew out a breath, shuddering as the fear loosened and the feeling of ickiness crawling over my skin faded away. I glanced around, suddenly the garbage grating on my nerves. I dug out another garbage bag and began shoving everything inside, using it to distract myself.
Benji left me feeling peeled back. I drew in a breath, my throat trying to close. I pushed it out, imagining my lungs clearing of all the bad, all the fear, all the negative. Repeated it over and over until my nerves calmed down.
I knew this was a bad idea. I literally had a panic attack this morning thinking about this party and how many people I was going to be around. Again, my nerves skyrocketed as I thought about all the masked people in the space around me. They were closing in on me, reaching for me, ready to grab me.
They tried last week when they were assaulting me. And they’d try again. People touching me, doing things to me I didn’t want.
I gasped as I was once again in the darkness, unable to move. I wheezed as hands grabbed at me. Touched me.
“Cadence?”
I jumped, yanking back. Stumbling, I hit the countertop. The sharp pain broke me from the darkness. Breathing heavily, I met Seth’s concerned, dark gaze.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Just give me a moment.” I drew in a shaky breath and released it slowly.
“Here.” Seth held a glass cup of water in my face.
I stared at it, at the crystal clearness of it.
“It’s only water. It won’t bite you.”
Forcing out a smile, I grabbed it and took a refreshing drink of the cool water. “Thanks.”
“That’s what I’m here for. You don’t need to do anything alone.”
Unable to help myself, I smiled. “I know. I know that now.” I met his gaze. “I have people with me now, right.”
He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You’re damn right. Now come on. I guess Toby put together a little Halloween trick he wants everyone to see.”
“That can’t be good.”
Seth chuckled. “Not at all.” He rested his hand on my lower back and led me into the overly packed living room.
Toby was by the projector sheet, grinning way too big.
“Oh this definitely can’t be good,” Seth said.
“Trick or treat,” I replied.
“Great, looks like everyone is here,” Toby said, projecting his voice, his gaze on mine. His smile widened. “We thought we’d give you all a little treat.”
“Sure,” I mumbled.
Toby let out a chuckle before nodding at Paxon who was bent over the laptop hooked to the projector.
The screen went black and then a video began to play. The point of view was weird, a little too low. It was outside, looking like a parking lot. The school parking lot? That looked like part of our school building.
It took me a moment to realize people were talking. After a moment, I was able to make out the conversation.
“She finally caved. Hardest challenge to fucking date.” The voice was familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it, the sound quality not exactly the best.
“At least it’s over. It’s ridiculous that she held out that long.”
“Fucking bitch.” Finally, someone moved onto the screen.
Benji.
He was wearing his soccer uniform, hair damp. He and his friend seemed oblivious to the recording.
“What is this?” I asked, grabbing Seth’s arm.
“I have no idea.” Seth’s voice was hard.
Whispers broke out throughout the room and heads turned until everyone was looking at Benji in his samurai outfit.
His mouth was popped open, face white.
Paxon and Toby stood at the front of the room. Toby was grinning evilly toward Benji. Paxon was glaring at his teammate.
“What’s worse was that Abby was fucking terrible. Clumsy as fuck. Why do we keep going after the virgins? It’s no fun. They don’t know shit.”
Someone gasped.
“Dude, go easy on her. She’s young. And naive.”
On screen Benji snickered. “Not anymore. Not after I was through with her. She should fucking thank me after I taught her. Whoever she fucks next will have it better.”
“Who’s next on your fuck list?”
“I don’t know yet. Do you think that redheaded chick in chem class is a virgin? I wonder if she’s as fiery as her hair.”
“Fuck, man, you’re going to get your ass beat.”
The two of them chuckled and grew distant as they moved away from the camera. Then the video ended.
I gripped Seth’s arm hard, feeling his skin in my nails. No one said anything, everyone feeling as shocked as I was at what we had just watched.
At the way Benji acted. I knew he was a douchebag, but this...a fuck list? Going after virgins? What the fuck?
I swallowed hard, trying to hold the pure disgust that rolled through me.
My horrified expression matched the same one on Micah’s when we looked at each other from across the room, shocked that this happened. That Benji did that. That the boys would be so public and loud about it.
Hazel made a small sound all too close to a sob next to Micah and then took off running out the front door, her sister chasing after her. Micah glanced at the screen briefly before chasing after them.
I didn’t blame them. I didn’t want to be there anymore either. That was disgusting. And so public.
Paxon and Toby stood at the front now, standing straight, expressions serious.
Paxon finally spoke. “This is a warning,” he said, glaring at his teammate. “You all work so hard to admonish Cadence. To bully her over things that aren’t your business. What happens between her and us is between us and only us. If she’s dating one of us or even all of us is none of your damn business. It’s our relationship. And let’s be real, the rumors about her are nothing compared to the real shit some of you guys do.” Paxon glared hard at Benji.
Toby slapped Paxon on the shoulder. “He was always better at saying this shit than me. But if you need me to put it simply, fuck off. Touch Cadence, and I don’t mind finding the shit you like to keep away from your parents. We’re done not doing anything. What happened last weekend was the last straw. Try shit like that again and be ready to face your own demons.”
Whispers filled the room as everyone looked around and then glanced at Benji. Benji was completely pale faced, looking like he was about to collapse.
“What did they just do?” I asked.
“Fuck.” Seth slipped out of my grip. “Fuck.”
He marched to the front of the room, glaring at his friends. “This party is over. Everyone go home.”
No one needed to be told twice. The first to storm out was Benji, none of the guys who had been hanging around him all night by his side. Then others began trickling out, whispering to each other, sending glances my way as they passed.
It was too much. Each glance, I could see judgment.
Once again, that darkness was surrounding me.
