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I was half asleep, the sun barely up when I crawled into my car. My eyes were crusty, practically glued together, my thoughts hazy. Somehow I managed to first pick up Micah without driving into a ditch.
“Here.” He chuckled as he passed me a canister.
I took a drink and grimaced, shoving it back into his hands. “What is that?”
“Coffee.”
“That isn’t coffee. That’s dirt.”
“That is the key to you not driving us into a light pole.”
“It’s disgusting.”
“But you feel more awake now, don’t you?”
He was right. It did wake me up and clear my mind a bit more. The shock of its flavor was enough to get my adrenaline going. It tasted like I had gotten out of the car and licked the dirt on the ground in a fit of deliriousness.
I grumbled as he put in the address so we could pick up the twins. We had a long drive ahead of us to make it to regionals and I was the taxi driver for Micah, Lillian, and Hazel. We were going to meet everyone else at the competition location.
Paxon had left yesterday after school with his team since they needed to be on location early to register, warm up, and plan for their games. We just needed to be there in time for the first game that was starting at ten.
“How’s Bayley doing?” I asked while we waited for the twins to come out. They lived in a large, two-story house with a double-car garage. It was well taken care of and fit in with all the other houses on the street. Nearly cookie cutter looking.
“She’s good. She even went on a hike the other day. It’s the first hike she’d been on for way too long. I think my dad cried more than she did when we realized she was perfectly fine through the whole thing.”
“Really?” I grinned big. “That’s amazing.”
Micah’s grin said it all as his eyes glistened. “It really is, isn’t it. She has more tests just to double check, but even the doctors in the city are hopeful. This move has been a game changer for her.”
Micah swallowed hard, fighting the unshed tears as he fought back his emotions. I wanted to let him know it was okay to let it out, but the twins were coming down the sidewalk with their bags. They looked just as tired as I had been. Maybe Micah would help them wake up with the dirt in his cup.
Micah got out and let Lillian take the front seat as he crawled into the back, sitting with Hazel. I watched him in the rearview mirror, my curiosity once again peaking. I still hadn’t gotten an answer as to what was going on with him, but it seemed he and Hazel were growing really close. In that case, good for him.
It couldn’t have been easy for him to move away from all his friends and family. I was glad he was doing so well here. I knew I hadn’t been much help in his adjustment either.
“Please tell me someone has coffee,” Lillian groaned, leaning her head back against the headrest.
“Here.” Micah gave her the canister. I eyed the trap like it was going to devour me.
Lillian saw my expression. “Is he going to poison me?”
“It’ll definitely feel like it,” I said. “He calls it ‘coffee.’ ”
“Hey!” Micah called out. “It is coffee.”
I suppressed a smile. “See. He says it’s coffee.”
Lillian swallowed hard as she opened it and took a big whiff. As soon as she took in a breath, she grimaced, covered it, and passed it back to Micah.
“I don’t know what your definition of coffee is, but that isn’t it.”
“I want to try,” Hazel said. I watched through the rearview mirror as she uncapped it and gave it a smell. Her nose curled up in disgust, and she shook her head. “Never mind. That’s all yours.”
Micah seemed offended as he grabbed the canister and even took a drink. I had no idea how he could swallow that without making a face, but he did, unaffected by it.
“I’ll stop by somewhere so we can get something that won’t destroy our stomachs,” I said.
“I knew you were an angel,” Hazel said.
Once we stopped and got real coffee, I put in the directions to Paxon’s game and we headed out.
“Are you going to be fine with the long drive?” Lillian asked. “I can drive too.”
“I’m fine,” I said. “This is nothing to me.”
She made a low humming sound as she cracked open the window to let in a small breeze. “Well, let me know. I don’t mind driving.”
“She’s my better half,” Hazel said. “I hate driving.”
“Why?” I asked. I never had a problem with it before.
“Just anxiety,” she responded simply.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Lillian said, suddenly sounding hesitant.
I urged her on. “What is it?”
“Why did they do that?”
“What?”
“Not now,” Hazel warned, leaning forward so she could see her sister better.
Lillian scowled at her sister. “I think now is a good time.”
“What’s going on?” Micah asked.
“We’ve been wondering why Paxon and Toby did that to Benji. Showed that video.”
“Oh.” I gripped the steering wheel tighter. “Benji hasn’t been the best to me. Not the meanest, but definitely not the nicest. And he’s been pushing Paxon more and more. After what happened to me at the last game, I think Paxon became fed up. He didn’t want to take chances.”
“Well, it worked,” Lillian said.
“Are you mad at Paxon?” I asked.
“Not at all. Good fucking job.” Pure hatred dripped from Hazel’s response.
I glanced at her through the mirror and then focused back on the road. “Are you finally going to tell me what happened?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Lillian asked, but her voice was too bland, too fake.
“I’m not dumb. You’ve hinted long enough that something happened over the summer. I understand privacy though, so I haven’t pushed. But now I’m beginning to wonder what I missed.”
“Benji happened,” Lillian whispered. “And I didn’t think we’d have to deal with it like this.”
“What?”
“There’s a reason why we don’t hang out with Benji and his friends anymore. That girl he was talking about like that. That was my cousin. And she’s still in middle school.”
I nearly drove us off the road. “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked.
“Only if you pull over. We can either keep driving and make it in time for Paxon’s game, or you can pull over and we talk this out. Either way, I have no interest in getting into an accident today.”
Without having to think about it, I pulled over, using a half-empty parking lot. “What is going on?”
Lillian stared out the window, frowning hard. “Benji didn’t just suddenly become a douchebag. He has always been like that.” She bit her lip and blinked hard, the skin across her cheeks becoming blotchy.
“Abby is our cousin,” Hazel said. “We’re pretty close with her. Grew up playing with her often, and as we got older, babysat her. She practically grew up with us. We’ve always been there for her.”
“Not last year we weren’t,” Lillian said.
“We had no way of knowing.”
“We should have,” Lillian snapped.
Hazel sighed and leaned back into her seat. Micah was holding her hand, squeezing it, giving her support. She was the one to keep talking.
“I’m not even sure how he met her. He just did and he liked her.”
My stomach turned queasy. He had been talking about someone in junior high?
“And she was young and naive. Fell for it all. She’d gone to a birthday party. He was there. That night she...” Hazel’s voice cracked.
“You don’t need to keep going,” I said.
“Yeah, you can stop.” Micah’s soft voice helped her calm back down.
“We’re still trying to piece it together,” Lillian whispered. “Either way, Benji was clearly involved. And then he treated her like absolute trash afterwards. Got others in on the bullying. And after that video....”
Hazel blew out a breath. “She overdosed on sleeping pills afterwards. Hoped to end the misery. Only after that did we realize what was going on with her. We had no clue that the people we thought were good friends had done something. We hadn’t even known she was dating Benji.”
“While the law can’t do shit, we knew how it all happened, why it did,” Lillian finally spoke. Her gaze met mine and something like sympathy flickered through them. “That was why we were at the hospital. That was why we saw you. Knew you were someone worth being friends with.”
“What?” I asked, suddenly feeling like I couldn’t breathe. They never visited me in the hospital. I made sure to not tell anyone, not that I had anyone to tell in the first place.
“We were there visiting her when we saw you. You were on the kids’ floor too, in the play area with the other kids. And you had a guitar and you were singing a song. And we saw how you looked, how you were suffering, and we understood. Not only did you go through shit in your life, but you continued to fight. We didn’t know the specifics, but we knew enough. We saw you at what you probably thought was your worst, but we saw the most beautiful, strongest girl ever. There you were, suffering yourself, and yet you were still singing to the others, trying to make their days less shitty too. You were real. Raw. And we knew you were someone worth knowing.”
I thought about the first day of school. I had been hiding in the courtyard, behind my dead tree, and then suddenly they were there, claiming I was their new friend. I thought they were crazy, playing some kind of joke on me. The most popular girls in the school were giving me attention suddenly. I was paranoid.
But now I understood why.
The only response I could give was, “I’m sorry that your cousin had to go through that.”
“We are too. She’s getting the help she needs. And she’s learned who her true friends are. Not everyone turned on her, and I’m grateful for that. It has given her some light in all that darkness that nearly consumed her. I’m just glad she’s healthy now.”
I reached over and grabbed Lillian’s hand, giving her the comfort she needed. All four of us sat in silence for a long time. Once we were calm, I started the car and continued to drive.
So much made more sense now.
And I was finally able to truly believe that the friendship Lillian and Hazel had with me was true friendship. Not a prank. Not something fleeting. What was building between us was strong, lasting, something that could potentially last a very long time between us as long as we worked for it.
Once we got over the awkwardness of the moment we all shared together, we nurtured our friendship with fun road trip games that the twins came up with, turning the rest of the drive into fits of giggles that nearly distracted me enough to have to pull over.
All too soon, we were at Paxon’s competition, ready to face this busy, packed weekend together.
