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We didn’t return back to my place right away, instead going to what was quickly becoming our little spot. It seemed to do the trick as Justin began looking like himself. All we did was sit and listen to the rushing water as it went by.
By the time Justin stood up, my ass was frozen. For a moment, I almost thought it was going to be frozen to the ground.
On the ride back to my house, I finally talked. “I feel like I made a mistake.”
“How so?” Justin’s question was too casual, too normal for what had happened.
“I let hell visit you,” I whispered, gripping the steering wheel. “I let you face it when you shouldn’t have.”
Justin’s quietness only felt heavier to me. I kept my focus on the road.
“You didn’t make any mistakes,” he finally said, head leaning against his window, eyes closed. “You’ve been the only one there who has helped me. Everyone else doesn’t get it, why I’m doing this. Just you and I’ve needed that.”
“They are right on some aspects,” I said. “It’s one thing to be there for him as you have been. But it’s another to let him drag you down back to hell. You don’t need to go through that.”
He finally looked at me. “You do that every time you visit your mom.”
That shut me up right away. He was right. Every time I visited Lindie, it was like going back to the past—reading her moods, bracing myself, readying myself for the pain and torment. Hardening myself.
I wanted to tell him it wasn’t the same, but the words were heavy on my tongue, because it was the same.
I understood what he was doing just like he understood why I kept visiting Lindie and why I kept taking care of her.
I chuckled at a random thought. It was bitter, not happy at all, but it still came out.
“What?” Justin asked.
“People always say blood is thicker than water. And when I was in the hospital, talking to a social worker, she went on about how new bonds can be formed, stronger bonds than family. Like blood wasn’t thicker than water. That I could find something stronger than that. But look at us two. Sticking to our parents simply because they’re our parents. Makes me question a lot. That’s all.”
Justin cleared his throat. “For me, it’s the history. He’s the last connection to my mom and little sister. The only person who remembers them. And I’m about to lose that. It’s like I’m about to lose them all again, and this time it’ll be final.”
My heart shattered for him.
“Tell me about them,” I rasped out.
Justin cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his seat, like he was bracing himself. I almost wanted to tell him he didn’t have to tell me anything, but then he started talking, his voice rough. “Ariel liked to sing. She was too young to know how to do it, but she sure loved to try. And my mom would go right along with her. Would drive Dad and me both crazy with it. I’d tease that they were making my ears bleed. Ariel was vibrant, always jumping around. She liked being chased and tickled. Claimed she hated it, but she actually loved it.”
“How did you know?” It was so similar to what Paxon told me about Cal and the kissing.
“She’d get mad if we really did stop. She’d scream bloody murder as we tickled her, but as soon as we stopped, she’d get really upset.” His voice softened the more he talked, warmth entering back into his voice. He had a small sad smile, but it was a smile either way, and that was a win for me.”
“And your mom?”
“Liked to dance. She’d lift us up and spin around, dancing like a crazy person. One time she accidentally spun me so much I threw up. It could also have been because I had eaten nearly a tub of candy.”
I laughed, imagining a little Justin doing that. I didn’t have too many memories as young as that. I had some, but nothing solid. Justin seemed to have had a lot. He had been five when his life changed. Yet he had such sharp memories of his mom and sister.
“I don’t have many memories from being so young like you do, and I have even less happier memories of my mother. I do remember a moment when she was pregnant though. She had been sitting on the couch with something forgettable on the TV. She was sitting there, rubbing her belly, and humming. I had never heard her hum before like that. Lindie wasn’t a singer. She never sang ever. But that moment, she hummed a soft, gentle toon. It was probably the kindest I had seen her before. For a moment, I saw a mother.”
“And you loved her for that moment.”
“I did,” I admitted. “Just like you loved your dad for those moments too, the ones you remember but won’t talk about.”
Justin grimaced.
“You don’t ever have to tell them to me. But I know they’re there. Moments when you saw a father.” I turned onto my street and squinted at the vehicles in Seth’s driveway.
No one should have been there. I felt awkward staying there on my own with Seth gone, so I spent minimum time there—mostly to take care of Bebe and make sure he had all the attention he needed, but I didn’t sleep there.
The vehicles became familiar as we got closer, including Seth’s behemoth truck, which should have been in his garage. “What’s going on?”
“Looks like everyone is here,” Justin remarked, seeming just as confused as I was.
Instead of pulling into my house, I went over to Seth’s, parking next to Paxon’s car. As I got out slowly, everyone piled out of the house.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Toby practically bounded down the steps and tackled me into a tight hug. “Black Friday!”
I wrapped my arm around him, barely able to look over his shoulder at the others, focusing on Seth as I gave them all confused looks. He was back already? Wasn’t he coming home over the weekend?
“What about Black Friday?” I dumbly asked, realizing how much I had missed Seth. More than I realized.
“We’re going to go explore,” Bryan said. “My treat.”
I blinked. “Your treat, what does that mean?”
He shrugged. “Do you want to drive or get a ride with someone?”
I looked around. Toby was already going to Seth’s truck. Paxon was by Bryan’s car. “I guess I’ll get a ride,” I mumbled.
“With me!” Toby called out, waving me over to the truck.
“I’ll go with Bryan,” Justin said. He pulled me into a hug and whispered, “Thank you for being there with me. For protecting me.”
I squeezed him, taking in a deep breath. “I don’t feel like I did much protecting.”
“You did more than you think.” He kissed my cheek, gave me a shy smile and went over to Bryan’s car.
“He’ll be okay,” Seth said.
“We’ll make sure he’ll be okay.” Determination slipped into my voice.
“Definitely.” Seth wrapped his arm around me. “Let’s try to bankrupt Bryan.”
“What?” I frowned at him. “And why didn’t you tell me you were coming back early?”
Seth chuckled, not answering me, and led me to his truck. I tried to climb in the back, but Toby wouldn’t let me, opening the front passenger door for me. I got inside and buckled in while the other two got in.
“So when did you get back?” I asked Seth. “Did you have a good time with your parents?”
He grinned. “It was nice. Paul showed me around and we were able to go hiking. Rained nearly half the time, but it was fun. And Mom is doing really good. She’s practically glowing.”
I smiled. Seth looked like he truly enjoyed his time. I was happy for him.
“I missed you,” I admitted, finding it hard to look at him.
He reached over and gave my hand a squeeze. “I missed you too.”
Warmth flooded me, and I ended up smiling goofily, loving how his words made me feel light and fluttery.
I turned in my seat to see Toby’s expression was a bit weird. Like he was smiling, but it was strained, missing the normal brightness.
“And you too,” I said. “I missed you too. I hope you had a great time with your family.”
“They’re doing good,” he said, but it still felt off.
My smile slipped. “Toby?”
He shook his head. “It’s nothing. It’s just always hard to go home.” He shrugged.
“Is everything—”
“Cadence, I don’t really want to talk about it. I just want to go shopping with my girlfriend and best friends.”
I snapped my mouth shut and turned around, blinking hard. Confusion settled hard in my stomach as Seth started the truck and began driving. We shared a worried glance but remained silent as Toby filled the space with everything he wanted to find with good sales.
By the time we pulled up to the outlet mall, he seemed like he was back to his normal self, but I couldn’t shake off his reaction.
“He’ll be fine,” Seth whispered to me as we all gathered in the parking lot. “His time at home is usually very positive. I think it’s the leaving that’s hard on him.”
“Okay.”
I grabbed Toby’s hand and let him bring me inside. Then they taught me what they really meant when they said they were going to try to bankrupt Bryan. And they really did try, to the delight of Bryan. I never saw someone so excited to spend so much money before.
