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The real battle ended up being trying to buy things for the guys without them noticing and without Bryan paying for it. There were still so many traditions between the guys that I didn’t understand them and apparently part of it was that Bryan got to spoil them on Black Friday. Which really meant he helped them buy presents for their families—items that were really needed by that person—like new winter clothes or new kitchen items.
Then they spent even more money buying toys, which confused me until Bryan finally said they were to donate.
I used that time to buy some necessities for the toy drive at the rec center. Once Bryan realized what I was doing, they all worked together to buy way more than I had ever seen bought for a toy drive. Those kids plus more were going to be very warm and happy this winter.
It made me happy too.
Not once did they buy anything for themselves. They always warmed my heart like this. I was beginning to truly understand how much these guys cared. There was no greed in them, they only wanted to give to the community in ways that mattered.
Paxon was even telling me about how Christmas season worked for them. Soon they’d be volunteering for food drives, doing welfare checks on the elderly once the wintery weather really hit. Toy drives. Fundraising events like the Christmas tree auction. Deliveries for those who needed items but couldn’t get them.
Paxon and Toby even often liked to play Santa at some of the community events while they handed out toys or did deliveries.
My mind was completely blown.
How could people do so much for strangers like this? I thought I gave back a lot, but they proved me wrong, going above anything I’d ever seen.
So we shopped hard for others. And when I saw something I wanted to buy myself for one of the guys, guitar picks for Toby or funny shirts for Seth, I had to get creative. I swore Bryan stalked the cash register to be ready to pay for anything they wanted.
I managed it somehow and hid the bags along with the others. It was a challenge, but I was proud of my loot. I even found really cool waterproof headphones for Justin for when he was swimming, some super soft high-quality beanies for Paxon, and a Da Vinci Code mini lockbox for Bryan where he had to solve a puzzle to open it. I’d have to go shopping by myself for more presents, but these were things I saw and knew I had to get.
By the time we got back to Seth’s, I was exhausted. I hid my bags in the room I stole and then went back downstairs, smiling as I listened to them bicker with each other as they organized everything. The living room was overflowing. The back of Seth’s truck had been packed with bags by the time we were done. Bryan’s car too. I almost thought I should have driven my car as well, but they managed to make it all fit.
“So how many toy drives?” I asked.
“We have the rec center,” Seth said. “The sponsorship and the toy drive there.”
“I do a toy drive for the hospital,” Toby said, his voice dropping as he focused a little too hard on an oversized truck. “For the help they gave my brother.”
“Are you doing Santa this year there?” Paxon asked.
“Yeah.” Toby kept playing with the truck. “I was thinking of taking Austin with me. I think he’d like to go back to see everyone there.”
Glances were exchanged by everyone else, the worry bouncing around. Something really was going on with Toby, but my time with Justin told me to give him time. If he wanted our help, he’d let us know.
“That’s a great idea. Your brother will love it,” Bryan finally said.
Toby gave him a tight smile and went back to separating out the bags.
By the time everything was separated, we had enough to donate a nice chunk to four toy drives, to adopt four children in different ranges from the rec center, and give to multiple food drives. It was rather insane.
“We’ll wrap them later,” Seth said. “I need a break.”
“Same.”
Agreement filled the room and we carefully put everything away. Once we were done, I plopped down on the couch and sighed, leaning my head back. Tiredness pulled at my body, and I was ready to doze off right then and there.
Then I felt it.
All eyes on me.
I peeked my right eye open to see everyone watching me.
Smiling, I sat up straight. “What?” I asked.
“I realized this is the first time we are all together as your boyfriend,” Seth finally said.
I stiffened and sat up straighter, looking at everyone. All five of them.
And it hit me. They were all my boyfriends. I did it, I talked with them all. But talking was one thing.
Seth cleared his throat, clearly wanting to bring something up. “I want to be the first to reiterate that I am in.” He looked around at everyone, smiling. “Even as I look at all of you, I’m still in. I care for Cadence deeply. I want her in my life. I want to be in a position to make sure she’s taken care of. I’m in and my mind hasn’t changed.”
My eyes widened as I realized what was going on. I swallowed hard.
“Me too,” Justin said without hesitation. “I haven’t changed my mind. I know this is...different. And it’s going to be hard. But Cadence is important to me. I’m happy that I get to call her my girlfriend.”
Toby flashed me a smile. “Same. I’m still in even as I look at all your ugly mugs.” That got some chuckles. “Usually girls are over me after like the first week. Cadence still likes me. And I still like her. I just don’t want to hear about the shit she gets up to with you.” He shuddered. “I don’t need to know.”
“I know we always shared everything,” Bryan said. “I never thought it’d go this far. But I don’t fucking know. It makes sense to me. My parents aren’t going to like this once they find out. I’d rather they don’t know.” He gave me an apologetic smile. “Just not right now, when they still have so much influence in my life. But I don’t want to give you up either. And someone has to make sure your security remains the best so you stay safe, and none of these idiots know how to work a deadbolt, let alone what you need to be safe.”
“I know how to use a deadbolt,” Toby muttered.
I nervously laughed at that, glad to have their reassurances.
“I haven’t changed my mind either,” Paxon said. “It’s not traditional. I come from traditional. But I also heard a lot about Seth’s aunt.” He swallowed hard. “And I know things are different. Relationships can be different. And that different can be good. I’ll admit, I’m scared though. I need to take things slow.”
“I do too,” I said, giving him a warm smile, blinking hard. “This is...It feels so much like a dream. I went from never really having a family for so long to having so many to rely on. I have so much to learn and truthfully, I’m scared shitless.” I swallowed. “But I’m excited too. I care about all of you so much. I see so much hope in all of you. So much love. And stability. And excitement.” I smiled wider. “I’m in too.”
It felt like something that had been weighing us all down evaporated and the room visibly brightened. We were going to do this. We were all in.
“Then we’re going to give it our best shot,” Seth said. “I’ll admit, I’m pretty excited. I hated that I was away from you over Thanksgiving, but I loved that I also knew others were around. That you had Justin and Justin had you too. That Bryan had somewhere to go. It made it so much easier for me. I liked that not just Cadence had people, but that everyone had people. Being away like that, it only solidified for me that this was the right thing to do.”
“Boundaries,” I blurted out. They all turned to me. I licked my lips. “I think we need to talk about it, right? I mean, I know you mentioned sharing everything and this is a different level of sharing...but really? Sharing everything everything?”
“Fuck. No.” Bryan said and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the others. “I’m not sharing that stuff.”
Seth chuckled. “Probably preferable. Boundaries are a good thing to talk about. For now, we keep what we do with her to ourselves. Like, don’t go bragging about it if you do anything intimate. This isn’t about competition. Even couples have their own speeds, I’d expect everyone to have their own speed. Take the time you need.” Seth focused on me. “And you have my permission to punch someone in the face if they try to brag about things. I also want to add that if you do need help with something, or advice, I am open to talking about it. I think many of you know at this point I’m not a shy man.”
Paxon chuckled. “We know.”
The others laughed.
“What am I missing?” I asked.
“Seth likes to walk around naked.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never seen him naked and I practically live here.”
“I’ve been careful,” Seth said.
“Oh.” It seemed I had a lot to look forward to.
“It’s going to feel like tiptoeing,” Seth said. “As we find our balance, but I want to stress that we need to communicate, especially Cadence. You’re the one dating us. And there are five of us. That’s a lot of time. And we know you have your job. Be open with us, tell us what you need, especially when you need space. Some of us will be needy.” He side-eyed Toby.
“Hey! I’m not needy,” he said.
“Sure you aren’t,” Bryan said.
Toby grumbled, but he didn’t seem offended. It actually looked like he was trying to hold back his laughter. “You might have a point.”
That got some chuckles.
“So let us know when you need space.” Seth glared at the others. “And we will respect that. We don’t want you overwhelmed. We just want to be able to spend time with you.”
I nodded. “I’ve never really dated anyone before. I don’t have experience. Never really had it on my radar. So please be patient with me. And I’ll do my best to let you know when I need my space.”
The conversation went like that for a long time. All of us stating different needs, fears, concerns, questions. With Seth there to guide us, we talked it all out until our throats hurt. At least until mine did.
But it all felt worth it. I felt more settled with the idea of having five boyfriends. It felt overwhelming, but didn’t at the same time. And I was excited to explore how these relationships would develop moving forward.
I’d never dated before.
Never had a boyfriend.
Now I had five and I was happier than ever before. To have people to call my own. To know that there are people out there who cared for me and wanted to protect me. To have people of my own who I wanted to take care of and protect.
It all felt so right. So perfect. So terrifyingly wonderful.
