The night of the wild-cow milking had arrived. She’d practiced two more times since she and Rowdy had fought and they’d made it through the practice by communicating with the kids more than each other. It had been awkward for both of them.
But tonight it would be over, and there were just a couple more weeks of art class and after that, they could steer clear of each other.
Was that what she wanted?
One minute. And then the next, no.
All she knew for certain was that tonight she was going to milk a wild cow and not get herself killed. That was her agenda.
The stands were full when she, Wes, Joseph, Tony and Rowdy joined the other wild-cow milkers.
“Go Sunrise Ranch Team!” came yells from the stands, from boys who were screaming at the top of their lungs. Everyone in the group turned to search the stands. Not hard to find, the other thirteen Sunrise Ranch kids stood in the middle, waving and jumping with excitement. Sammy and B.J. held a sign with the word Go painted above a yellow sunrise.
Behind them sat Nana, Mabel, Ms. Jo, Morgan and Jolie.
Tucker, on duty, had wished them luck as they’d passed him on their way into the pens. And Randolph was standing on the other side of the gate at the opening of the arena with some of the ranch hands. She wondered if they were there in case they were needed. That worried her, despite knowing the paramedics were there.
“Y’all’ve got a cheering section,” Rowdy said from where he sat on his horse.
Tony’s half grin hitched upward. “All the ranch hands are hanging on to the railing down there, too, with Mr. Randolph. You know they’re going to be yelling when it’s our turn.”
“I’m glad we drew first,” Joseph said. “I’d be nervous if we had to wait until the end.”
“Me, too,” Lucy finally added. She’d been trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach but had finally given up. She was nervous and there wasn’t anything that could be done about it.
She met Rowdy’s smile with a weak one of her own.
“You’ll be fine. Just remember to let us get the cow stopped and then I’ll give you the okay to dash in and get the milk.”
“She’s got it in the bag,” Wes said, his confidence sounding far higher than anything Lucy remotely felt.
The PA broadcast the start of the wild-cow milking and Lucy froze. Then to her dismay, the gate opened and they entered the arena. Well, they did, but she almost didn’t follow until she forced her feet to move.
From inside the arena, the grandstands looked huge. The boys were grinning and waving at the crowd as if they’d already won. Wes became a clown. His eyes danced as he whipped his hat from his head and waved it at the crowd. He pumped his hands up and down to get the crowd to roar—it was as if he were born for this. Joseph and Tony just grinned beside him. They were all too cute.
Rowdy looked especially nice tonight in his red shirt, black hat and signature grin. She wished he’d stop flashing that distracting grin around! Of course, him sitting like a champion himself on one of his champion horses, looking ready to shine as he did, was distracting, too. And not just to her. Lucy had no doubt that every female in the stands had absolutely no idea there were three kids and a lady in the arena with him.
He turned his horse and trotted back to her side. “How are you doing?”
That he’d thought of her put a catch in her heart and, looking up at him, she suddenly felt breathless and young and free...as if none of the heavy burdens of her past was hanging over her. “I’m good, thanks for asking.”
He leaned down in the saddle, his expression intent. “Good. Now, I’m compelled to remind you—do not get within reach of that heifer’s legs until I’m in position between you and her back leg. Is that clear?”
He was worried about her. She nodded. “Clear.”
Sitting up, he looked satisfied with her answer. She couldn’t grasp what she felt but...watching him, her heart felt full.
Wes turned to her—leaving his adoring fans for a moment and making Lucy smile. “The dude down there on the end standing inside that white circle of lime is who you race to with the milk.”
She nodded. After she got at least a drop of milk into the small jar in her hand, she had to run to the man in the circle. The hard work of the team didn’t count if she failed in her task. She prayed that she didn’t fall down and spill the milk. The boys had done their part painting their pictures; now she had to do her part.
Joseph grinned at her. “Don’t be all worried. You’re going to do us proud.”
“That’s right,” Tony added, coming to stand beside her. “You look as nervous as me.”
She wanted to give him a hug but it would probably have embarrassed him. “Let’s do this,” she said instead, winking at him. He responded with that grin that had her heart turning over for the kid who’d been so mistreated by the parents who were supposed to love and protect him.
The announcer introduced them as the Sunrise Ranch team, then called out each of their names, and they stepped forward and waved. When their heifer entered the arena, people went wild. A lump lodged in Lucy’s throat as the heifer stared at them—clearly wary. Rowdy pulled his rope from the saddle horn and readied it. When the clock started, he rode out toward the animal and the kids followed him into the center of the arena. He twirled the rope above his head, then sent the loop flying. It landed with ease over the heifer’s head. Rowdy wrapped the rope around the saddle horn and his horse stepped back as the cow tried to run, but the rope pulled taut and the boys were already on the run. She went right behind them.
The cow dodged one way, but the boys moved with it, anticipating where it would go. Lucy would have gone the opposite direction! Wes dived right in, fearless as he grabbed the cow by the neck and locked his arm around it like she’d been taught on the small calf that day. Joseph grabbed the cow’s tail and dug his boots into the ground. Tony moved to help Wes. With the cow sort of under control, Rowdy came off the horse and headed toward the flank. Lucy’s adrenaline was revved up and she prayed she could get the milk.
The boys grinned at her, even Wes, though he was gritting his teeth with the effort he was using to keep hold of the animal. Rowdy motioned for her to take her turn. She raced in, or at least she thought she raced in, but the cow chose that moment to try to throw its head up and drag the guys. Wes and Tony held on, Rowdy pushed the animal and Joseph leaned back so far that his seat was also dragging in the dirt as his heels bit into the ground. Lucy looked from Wes to Joseph, not sure what to do, but they got the animal almost still again. Rowdy gave her the nod again as he planted his back against the leg that could potentially lash out and nail her.
Lucy gritted her teeth and dived. She was going to get the milk this time. Holding her hand like she’d been taught, she made contact, and even when the heifer moved back she held on. She pushed, then squeezed. The animal moved. Lucy went down in the dirt but kept milking. From her prone position looking up, she saw a trickle make it into the glass jar.
“I got it,” she yelled, excitement overwhelming her. Rowdy was laughing when he reached down and hauled her off the ground and set her on her feet.
“Run, Lucy, run,” he said, and she did.
It seemed like miles to the man in the circle, and halfway there she saw the people in the stands in front of her stand up. She made it to the man, winded but with milk in the jar. They’d done it. She spun around but her heart stalled when she saw the heifer run over Tony, trampling him in the dirt.
Cows and steers running over people was a common occurrence in any rodeo; it was part of it. But Lucy hadn’t gotten used to it and her stomach dropped and she started running.
Tony didn’t jump up and grin. Rowdy was beside him by the time she made it, and the other boys had gathered around. Tony’s shirt was ripped wide-open in the back. And to her relief he sat up just as she reached them. She was breathing so hard she thought she might pass out right there in the arena. He grinned at Rowdy.
“Take it easy. Your arm’s not looking so good,” Rowdy said, seeing a deep gash that was bleeding. Rowdy touched a bruised spot on Tony’s lower back, and when he touched it, the boy flinched. But it wasn’t the bruise that had Lucy’s attention, it was the scars that riddled Tony’s body.
Lucy’s stomach lurched and it was all she could do not to lose its contents in the dirt right there in front of everyone. Dear Lord, Tony had told her he had scars, but not like this. She hadn’t imagined they would be like this.
Hadn’t imagined they would be worse than hers.
Her gaze met Rowdy’s and he seemed to read everything in her face, because he said, “Hold on.” Tony thought he was talking to him and nodded, but Lucy knew he was talking to her. She nodded, too, and couldn’t stop nodding. It became compulsive and she had to will her head to stop before the boys realized how shaken she was.
“We’re going to take you to the hospital and have this bruise checked out. I don’t want you having an internal problem and us not knowing it.”
“Aw, it’s okay,” Tony said, wincing as Rowdy helped him to his feet. The crowd cheered as Rowdy and Wes helped him out of the arena. The on-site doctor met them at the gate along with Randolph. They had Tony sit down. The paramedic looked him over and agreed with Rowdy that X-rays made sense as a cautionary measure.
“You did it, Lucy,” Tony said, grinning up at her from his bench. The kid was tough. Her throat ached with the need to cry.
“I did,” she said instead, forcing her voice to hold steady. “But it was because of you fellas. That cow didn’t stand a chance.”
“Let’s get him to the hospital,” Randolph said, and they headed out of the gate. Lucy followed close behind.
Morgan and Jolie met them at the waiting room of the small hospital in Dew Drop. Nana and Tucker had stayed back with the ranch kids at the rodeo. It was agreed that the hospital didn’t need fifteen rambunctious kids swarming the small waiting room.
They were right, the hospital was very small, but then Dew Drop wasn’t a metropolis and they were lucky to have the place.
Randolph, Morgan and Rowdy all went into the emergency room with Tony. Jolie and Lucy sat together and waited.
Jolie watched them disappear through the door. “There is one thing these boys know when they come to Sunrise Ranch—they are loved.”
Lucy nodded. She was still shaken about what she’d seen and ashamed that she hadn’t realized when she was talking to Tony how badly he’d been injured. “What happened to Tony? I mean, with those burns. He talked to me about them, but I had no idea they were that bad. I talked to Rowdy, who said Tony’s parents were responsible, but I didn’t realize...” Her voice trailed off.
“I’m sorry.” There was compassion in Jolie’s voice and she leaned forward. “He had been burned with cigarettes for years and no one noticed. It’s horrible to think that. But when his parents tossed gas on him and then a match when he was ten, he was taken away from them. From what I’ve been told, he had second-and third-degree burns and it took numerous skin grafts. I’m sure with your arm and neck that you understand the pain he went through.”
The air had gone out of the room as Jolie spoke. Lucy felt small suddenly. Fury and anguish welled inside of her for what Tony had endured. “How,” she rasped, looking down at her hands clenched in her lap, “could parents do such a thing?”
Jolie clasped her hands with her own. “It’s a wicked world we live in. I can’t understand, either. But Tony is alive and well and loved. And though it’s been tough, what he went through, he’s been on the ranch from the day he left the hospital almost four years ago. And that has been a blessing. I cried when I read his background, but I’ve watched him for months now, and he’s one of the most well-adjusted kids considering what he’s been through. Though, just like you, he doesn’t like to show his scars.”
Lucy sighed. “We talked about that. It’s easier not to let people see them. Easier not to have to answer questions. Or to see pity on their faces.”
“That’s what Tony has said.”
Rowdy and Morgan came out of the room and walked over to where they were. Both Jolie and Lucy stood the minute they saw them.
“What did they say?” Jolie asked.
“He has a deep bruise, but his organs are all fine, so that’s a blessing. Dad’s with him finishing up and they’ll release him in a few minutes.”
Jolie hugged Morgan. “Wonderful!”
Rowdy placed his arm across Lucy’s shoulders and gave her a gentle hug. “You okay?”
She was grateful for his touch. “Yes, I’m relieved and happy that Tony wasn’t hurt seriously. But I really need to talk to you about something.”
“Sure.” Concern etched his face. “We’ll head out if y’all have it under control from here,” he said to his family.
“We do,” Morgan said, a rock if there ever was one. “You did good out there tonight, Lucy. I hope this accident didn’t shake you up too bad. We try to protect the boys as best we can, but the truth is kids could find a way to fall off the porch and get hurt.”
“I know. I get it. Y’all do a great job with the boys.”
“Some folks don’t understand. But we don’t allow them on bulls. Dad draws the line there, so even living the cowboy way has limits at Sunrise Ranch. Much to Wes’s dismay.”
She’d figured out by small things he’d said that Wes wanted to ride bulls.
She went in and gave Tony a hug, a really gentle but long one, and then left, telling him she would see him back at the ranch. She and Rowdy walked out to the parking lot and he held the door of his truck for her and placed his hand at her elbow as she hoisted herself into the tall truck. Sometimes being short just got old. And then she had to admit that sometimes it had its advantages. His hand on her elbow was one of those times.
After he drove them from the parking lot, he swung through a drive-through and bought them both something to drink. Lucy hadn’t even realized how much she needed the sugar in the soda until it hit her system.
He looked at her with kindness in his eyes. “Better? You were wilting on me.”
His concern did funny things to her heart.
“Thanks, I did need this. Is there somewhere private we can talk?”
“Sure.” He drove out of town and headed toward the ranch and her house. But he continued on past the turn and Lucy watched the scenery go by. She tried to calm the nerves trying to talk her out of what she knew she had to do.
After a while he turned and went through an entrance with the Sunrise Ranch brand.
“This is another entrance to the ranch. It’s connected to the original ranch, but would be a long ride as the crow flies on horseback. We usually drive over with horses then unload when we’re working cattle.” She felt as though his explanation was meant more to fill the dead space floating between them than to inform her of where they were.
The moon shimmered on the white rock road and bathed the countryside with a pale glow.
He stopped beside a pond with the moon reflecting off the water. A huge tree hung out over the water, and there was a narrow pier.
“See the owl, there, sitting in the tree?” He pointed and, sure enough, Lucy saw the owl watching them, his eyes glowing yellow in the headlights.
“You spotted him quickly.”
“Out here, you just have to keep your eyes open. This place is alive with animals. But that guy right there has been hunting out of that tree for years.”
She smiled at him despite her nerves. She took another sip of her soda. Rowdy rolled down the windows and turned off the engine. Leaning his back against the door, he studied her.
“What did you want to talk about?”
She looked away, toward the water. “I hadn’t realized how extensive Tony’s burns were.”
“I didn’t understand that. After we talked...”
“I know you assumed Tony had told me. But he didn’t show me. I could not have imagined the extent even if I’d tried.”
“I’m sorry. That was why you looked so pale out there.”
She nodded. He gripped the steering wheel with one hand and his knuckles grew white in the darkness. “When I saw your burns, I thought of Tony. He feels a bond with you because you have that in common.”
Lucy sat her soda in the cup holder and rolled a strand of hair with her fingers, thinking about where to begin.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
He looked startled. “That’s okay.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s not. I’ve been hard on you and—” There seemed to be no air in the truck and yet the windows were open. “My burns aren’t just on my arms and neck as I’ve let everyone think. Seeing Tony tonight hit me hard.” Her voice cracked and she had to pause to get it back under control. “You see, until now, I’ve told myself I was okay, blessed that my face had been spared—and I am. I think that’s why this is especially hard for me to admit that I’m so ashamed of my body that I haven’t told anyone that the burns on my arms extend over most of my torso...” She couldn’t say more.
His eyes shadowed and in the moonlight they glistened, and she could almost believe tears were there in their depths. She took a deep breath, torn by whether he was repulsed by what she was telling him or feeling compassion. Her heart of hearts said compassion, but she was uncertain how even that made her feel.
Her throat felt raw.
He looked away and studied the pond; his Adam’s apple bobbed. “You—” he started and then stopped. “I can’t stand the thought of you suffering like that.”
“I didn’t suffer long. I was knocked unconscious soon after the ceiling caved in. The recovery was...difficult. So bad I wished at times I hadn’t lived.”
Rowdy got out of the truck instantly and was at her door within seconds. Without ceremony he yanked it open and pulled her into his arms, crushing her to him.
“I know you’d rather I not touch you—” his voice was muffled in her hair “—but I can’t stand the thought of you in so much pain.”
He was holding her tightly, her toes barely brushing the ground, and Lucy’s arms had somehow locked around his shoulders. She trembled as tears that had long ago dried up tried to break free at his heartfelt words and the earnest way he held her.
The owl’s woeful hoot sounded, cutting through the silence. Lucy pulled herself together, very aware of the man embracing her.
He inhaled deeply and then lowered her to the ground and stepped back. Almost as if he had willed himself to do it. Lucy’s heart was thundering and, though she wished with all her might that things could be different and that his arms were meant to hold her, she couldn’t let herself go there.
“I didn’t mean to get personal.” He looked almost bashful. “But I didn’t kiss you.”
She laughed despite the mood over the moment. “You did very well. I needed a hug in the worst way. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, anytime. Why did you share that with me?”
His question surprised her. She walked over to the pier, tested it with her foot then walked a few feet onto it. Staring down into the water, she found the moon looking back at her. Rowdy followed her, waiting at the end with a hand on each railing of the narrow pier.
“I’m not sure, really.” She turned and leaned against the railing, crossing her arms. “I just saw Tony’s scars and suddenly I didn’t feel authentic. And I knew that in order to feel like I wasn’t being dishonest that I had to be open about my burns.”
“It’s no one’s business.”
“True. But, still, I felt like I needed to tell someone...that I needed to tell you.”
Lucy wasn’t sure why she’d wanted him to know. But suddenly she was afraid. Had she told too much?
Had she shown him too much of her heart?