Chapter Fifteen

Lucy

“Do you want me to kill Louie Maggione for you?”

Lucy jumped at the sound of someone whispering in her ear. She was fast asleep and didn’t even hear Soleil come into the bedroom.

“Who? What? What are you talking about?” But as she shook her head to clear the cobwebs, she knew who Soleil was referring to.

“Tall Italian guy, bald head. Fucked up freak of a bastard.”

Lucy could feel the color draining from her face. “How do you know him?”

“He was one of my mother’s dealer acquaintances and a hit man. When I was at Faith’s apartment, he stopped by, wanting the money Faith promised him to kill you.”

Lucy could feel her dinner churning in her stomach and willed it not to reenter her esophagus. “He said that to you?” She whispered so Mariah couldn’t hear her in the next room.

She could see Soleil nod, even though the room was dark. “He also said Faith told him that if something happened to her, he could have you. He wanted to finish what he started in San Francisco.”

Before she realized what was happening, Soleil had the wastebasket up to her mouth. Lucy felt the filth again, creeping up her arms and legs.

Soleil brushed Lucy’s hair back from her face. She pulled a tissue from the box on the nightstand and wiped her mouth. Lucy looked up and was relieved to see Soleil had closed the bedroom door when she came in.

“He hurt you bad, didn’t he, Lucy?”

Lucy just nodded.

“He killed Ricky?”

“He helped.”

“Just give me the word and I’ll hunt him down and kill him like the animal he is. I’ll go to jail for the rest of my life if it means taking down that motherfucker.”

Soleil’s breath was hot on her face. She had no doubt Soleil would and could carry out her threat.

Her stomach churned. Now everyone knew. Everyone except Mariah. And maybe she knew, too.

Lucy shook her head. “No. No more killing. No more deaths.” She rubbed Soleil’s shorn head. “Your life means more to me than his death. He will get what is coming to him when the time is right. I need you here, Soleil. We all do.”

Soleil hugged her. “Well, remember, I’ve got your back.”

“I know.”

“And I better give your mother’s gun back to her.”

“I wish she didn’t even have one.”

“I wish no one ever needed one, but we do in this world.”

“I don’t have one.”

“I’m not surprised. The girl that everyone wants to kill doesn’t have a gun.”

Lucy could hear the sarcasm in her voice. “My days of being a victim are over. And I got two pistol-packing sisters I can call.” She tried to lighten the mood.

“Does Eve know what happened?”

“I told her when we were coming back to LA. I never told Mariah, though, and I told Eve not to tell her. But Eve has a big mouth.”

“She has a big heart, too. But don’t tell her I said that.” Soleil picked up the wastebasket. “I’ll clean this out. Good thing that you had a plastic liner in it.” She squeezed her shoulder and slipped out of the room.

If we can get though the next few days, we’ll make it, Lucy thought to herself. We will make it as a family.

Soleil

After cleaning out the wastebasket and taking it back to Lucy’s room. Soleil went outside to sit in the backyard.

Lucy had fallen back to sleep. She hoped it would be a peaceful sleep. She had meant everything she had said. She was willing to kill if it meant Lucy stayed safe. Lucy was her family now, just like she had tried to be when Soleil was a little girl. She would do anything for her big sister.

Soleil decided to have Faith cremated and have her ashes interred in the same cemetery where Marilyn Monroe was buried. She didn’t want to keep the ashes, and she didn’t want them scattered. She wanted her mother’s name to be on a slab of marble.

When Soleil had looked in the bathroom at her reflection, she had seen the same haunted look that she had seen in her mother’s childhood photo. But Soleil wasn’t going to end her life, she was going to reinvent it. As soon as she said goodbye to the past.

Lucy

Lucy heard Mariah’s private bedroom phone ring. She heard her mother on the phone. Soleil had left the door open when she returned the wastebasket last night. The conversation was over quickly. She heard Mariah go into her bathroom and turn on the shower.

Soleil had to make the funeral arrangements for Faith today. She vowed she would be at her side. Faith was gone and couldn’t hurt any of them any more. And she wasn’t going to worry about Louie, or Brad, or anyone else.

She started to get up and then heard someone go into the hall bathroom. She figured it was Eve, as Soleil never liked to get up until noon. But today might be different.

She shuddered to think that one day she may have to make arrangements for her mother’s burial. None of them had any say-so about what happened to their father, but their three mothers would be their responsibility.

Lucy thought about how much she had taken her mother for granted all of her life. Tomorrow, she was going to get up early and fix breakfast for everyone. But today, she had something she needed to do.

Lucy went down the hall to her mother’s room. On the way, she noticed that Soleil’s door was closed and Eve’s room was empty.

She sat on her mother’s rumpled bed, listening to her hum from the bathroom. She could smell the scented bath gel and soap her mother used. It was a peaceful room, decorated in browns and creams. She looked at the portrait of her mother, Mik and her, painted by an artist friend when she was little. She looked at the Sheffield Steel gold records and her mother’s master’s degree, large frames covering the other walls. The vase on the small table in the room was empty. It was usually filled with fresh flowers that her mother got every morning or had delivered. She vowed to get a big bouquet today.

Mariah came out of the bathroom in a robe with a towel wrapped around her braids. She jumped when she saw Lucy on the bed.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

Lucy loved looking at her mother’s strong, brown face.

“Nothing. I just wanted to come in and tell you I love you. Thank you, for everything.”

Mariah wiped her face with the towel. “You’re welcome. I love you, too, Lucy. You’re my heart. But you already know that.”

Lucy got up and hugged her mother. She clung to the firmness, the steadiness, and the warmth that was Mariah Williams. “You are my heart, too,” she whispered. “I love you, Mom.”

Lucy had never called her mother “Mom.” But it felt like the right thing to do.

Mariah kissed her cheek. “Now shower and get dressed. Lieberman’s office called with some exciting news for you girls.”

She reluctantly let her mother go. She winked at her as she left the room. Mariah winked back.

Eve was coming from the bathroom as she walked back down the hall.

“Is something wrong?”

Eve was getting tanner. “No. Mariah got a call from Lieberman’s office this morning. She has some news for us. Wake up Soleil for me, will you?”

Eve looked at the closed door. “She won’t bite my head off, will she?”

Lucy laughed. “I can’t make any promises.” She lowered her voice. “She is making the funeral arrangements today. We have a long day ahead of us.”

“But there is light at the end of the tunnel, isn’t there?” There was hope in Eve’s voice.

Lucy nodded. “And it’s not a train, either.”

Eve

By the time Soleil got up, Mariah had picked up breakfast from a local restaurant and set it up outside on the table. It was a warm, beautiful morning. Just another day in this twisted paradise, Eve thought.

“So what is the big news?” Soleil asked.

“The will is going through. Sally has given up trying to contest it. Pretty soon, you girls will get your money. Lieberman’s office should have partial payments from the royalties by the end of the week. The rest of the money will be dispersed when everything goes through. Eve can go back to Pittsburgh next week.” Mariah looked over at her as she buttered a biscuit.

Eve looked back at Mariah and smiled. Back to Pittsburgh. The words she had been waiting for since she arrived.

“You still want to go back to Pittsburgh, Eve?” Soleil looked over at her as she grabbed a biscuit. She looked strange in her almost-bald state.

“Sure do. Do you want to come with me?” She smiled at the thought of her and Soleil being roommates.

“And do what?” She took a bite out of her biscuit.

“They have recording studios in Pittsburgh.” As soon as she said it, she realized how dumb it sounded. LA was the music capital of the rock world.

Soleil rolled her eyes. “Thanks, but no thanks. But I may go away for a while. Maybe I’ll go to London.”

“London?” Lucy was daintily cutting up a piece of sausage. “I haven’t been there since I was a little girl.”

“Well, I have never been there at all.” She pointed her butter knife at Eve. “And they have recording studios there, too.”

Eve decided to say the first thing that came into her mind. “Smart ass.”

Soleil grinned.

“I have some old friends in London. I could get in touch with them for you if you would like.” As always, Mariah tried to be accommodating to everyone.

“I’ll think about it.” Soleil looked at her watch.

Mariah watched her. “Oh, I almost forgot. Soleil, Lieberman wants us to come to his office. I told him that we would come on Wednesday, if that is all right with you. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you when he called, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

“What does he want?” Soleil put her fork down.

“He wants to go over Faith’s will.”

Lucy’s breath caught and she looked up from her plate at Soleil. Eve followed her gaze. A flush came to her face.

“Her fucking what? Faith didn’t have anything to leave. I went by her apartment yesterday. That bitch of an apartment manager cleaned out her place. Everything was gone—her jewelry, her clothes, her booze, all gone.”

“Maybe she had something you didn’t know about.”

Soleil snorted. “Like what?

“We’ll find out when we get there. After we lay her to rest.”

“I’m having the bitch cremated. I’m giving her a slab at Pierce Brothers. She can do pills with Marilyn.”

“At least you will have her ashes. Who knows what Sally did with Mik’s ashes? She could have snorted them for all we will ever know.” Lucy rolled her eyes.

Eve looked at Lucy as if she had grown another head. She had to, to say something like that about the father she adored. She looked over to see Mariah’s reaction.

Mariah crunched on a piece of what must have been fake bacon. She didn’t look at Lucy.

Soleil leaned back in her chair. “I want all of you to go with me tomorrow to the cemetery. I’ll sing a song or something.” She looked at each of their faces in turn.

“We’ll be there, ” Eve answered.

Lucy smiled. “Of course we’ll be there for you.”

“Is there anything we can do to help you today?” Mariah asked.

She shook her head and ran her hand over her head, where her dreads used to be. She sniffed. “I keep forgetting the hair’s gone.” She nodded to Mariah. “Thanks, but I need to do this by myself. I’ll be okay.”

“Call me if you need me, or us, for anything.”

Eve watched the interchange between them. She was ready to go home, but she had to admit that she would probably miss Soleil most of all. They were so much alike.

She wondered what Faith had left to Soleil. And why Mariah had to be there, especially since Faith had tried to kill both her and her daughter. Eve knew that she would never get the image of Faith pulling the trigger out of her mind. She knew Soleil would never get it out of her heart.

Soleil

Soleil had made arrangements for the body to be taken to the crematory. She didn’t want to be there during the process. They told her it would take between two and three hours. She could be in the flames right now. Faith’s last smoke. She didn’t even want to see the ashes. Faith’s soul disappeared years ago, probably before she even reached her teenage years. Now her body was gone, too.

Soleil went to her apartment to change. As she looked at her backpack, she remembered the things she had taken from Faith’s apartment. She took the backpack to her bedroom and dumped its contents on her bed.

She picked up the dreamcatcher and flicked one of the feathers. What dreams did Faith have? Did she have any goals? What had kept her going besides making the next score or numbing herself with alcohol, drugs and sex?

Soleil took down a wind chime she had in her bedroom window and hung up the dreamcatcher. She shook the chime. The brass bells tinkled lightly until she put the chime on her dresser.

She picked up Faith’s address book. Was there anyone she should notify about Faith’s death? Did Faith have any real friends?

Then she remembered a woman that used to visit them periodically. She had befriended Faith when she arrived in LA. What was her name? She could see the tall, redheaded woman in her mind. Connie. Her name was Connie Dyson.

She opened the book to see if Connie was listed. She looked under the Cs, but the book wasn’t arranged in alphabetical order. She went back to the first page. At the bottom of the page, she saw Connie’s name and phone number written in her mother’s sloppy cursive writing.

Without another thought, she picked up the phone next to the bed and dialed the number.

“Hello?” A little girl answered the phone.

“Is Connie Dyson there?” She held her breath.

“Hold on, please. Who may I say is calling?” The little girl replied by rote, repeating words she had been trained to say.

“Soleil DeSalle.”

“Sol-what? My name is—”

Another voice got on the phone. “Soleil? This is Connie. How are you holding up? I’m so sorry to hear about Faith.”

Soleil was too stunned to speak. How did she already know about Faith?

“Soleil?”

“Who told you about my mother? I haven’t called anyone.”

“Uh, I stopped by to visit her on Saturday and the manager told me.” Connie’s voice was shaky.

“Oh.” For some reason, Soleil didn’t believe her. “I was calling to see if you would be able to come to the cemetery. She is being cremated, and I’m having her remains placed in a niche at Pierce Brothers. I was planning to say a few words there tomorrow afternoon.”

“No, Soleil, I can’t make it. I’m sorry. I really can’t make it.” She sounded like she was ready to cry.

“Okay then. Well. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait. Soleil?”

“What?”

“Don’t drink.”

“What?”

“I know what it’s like. I’m an alcoholic, too. Don’t let this push you back there, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Take care sweetheart.” Connie hung up before Soleil could say anything else.

Soleil felt flushed. She had tried not to acknowledge the gnawing feeling going in her stomach, threatening to spread throughout her body. She did want a drink. She craved a drink. She remembered that sip of champagne she had after the tribute concert. She remembered the drinks she had on the day that they had went to Lieberman’s office. She licked her lips. They were dry. She salivated at the thought of a shot of JD or Southern Comfort pouring down her throat. Liquid oblivion would feel so good right now.

I need to go to the gym, she thought. The burning sensation of muscles being pushed to the limit counteracted the desire for a drink. Once she returned from Oklahoma, she had joined a local gym. In the past five years, she had become a regular. Unlike a lot of the women there, she wasn’t afraid of developing visible muscles. She needed muscles to carry guitar cases and amps. Her biceps and her well-defined abdomen didn’t embarrass her. But every so often, a new guy would come into the gym. He would stop to watch her on the machines, intrigued by her strength and beauty. They would try to pick her up, but a loud “fuck-off, asshole,” caused them to scatter.

She shook her head and picked up some pictures from the bed. She looked again at the picture of the little girl that grew up to become her mother. So much abuse. So much pain. From one generation to the next. Maybe that was why the fates had determined she would be sterile, so the abuse would stop with her. As the only child of an only child, the line ended with her. Faith, Hope and Charity, my ass.

She looked at the picture of her with her parents. She placed it facedown on the nightstand. The rest of the things on the bed she placed in the bottom drawer of her dresser.

Now she had to go to the Guitar Center to get the music to her mother’s favorite song. Then she would go to the gym.