“That’s right. Just hold ’em steady.”
Olive concentrated on driving the wagon the way Sam had been instructing her when she rode with him. It wasn’t so hard. As he said, the horses did all the work. Maybe the skill would come in handy sometime on the ranch. As soon as the thought entered her head, her stomach twisted. Lord, what are you trying to tell me?
Sam sat beside her looking straight ahead. He had a strong profile. A firm jaw and chin. Some said that indicated a good character. She didn’t really believe the shape of a person’s face had anything to do with their beliefs and morals. Or if they were courageous and dependable. But Sam fit all of those things and more.
She sighed. What did Mike look like? More important, did he have good character? Could he be trusted to be kind, or did his mood change from day to day until you never knew how he’d react to anything like Joshua? She never wanted to go through that again.
Sam said Mike had Indian friends. What did that mean? Did they walk into the house as if they owned it? She’d heard of that happening. She glanced at Sam again. “What are Mr. Dugan’s Indian friends like?”
Sam turned to her, a guarded look on his face. “Well, they aren’t exactly wild, if that’s what you mean. They’re more like part of Mike’s family. That means they won’t hurt you. I’m sure you won’t be in any danger from them. But they do treat the ranch as if it’s their own. That might take some getting used to.”
Before she had time to digest his answer, he pulled something from his pocket. “Tom said they’d be leaving us near the town of Columbia about an hour after noon. It should be getting about that time.”
When he opened his hand she realized he held a pocket watch. As he released the cover, her attention shifted back to the horses, although all she had to do was keep the reins steady. Thankfully, they had a road to follow.
Sam shifted.
She turned in time to see him slipping his watch back into his pocket and caught another glimpse of it. Something seemed familiar about that watch. Maybe she’d seen him look at it before. That was probably it.
“We’ll be stopping soon to tell the Loanes bye.” Sam turned toward her. “Do you want me to take over?”
She lifted her chin. “Am I not doing a good enough job?”
He grinned. “Nothing like that. You are doing so well, I may let you take a turn while I walk or ride Bullseye.”
“Not today, surely.” She leaned away from him at the thought. “I’m not ready.”
“You’re ready. I’ll ride alongside the first few times, and you’ll do fine, but not today.”
A few minutes later, Olive brought the team to a stop in the shade of a large tree. “I want to tell Mary goodbye. I haven’t seen her since yesterday. I hope she’s all right.”
“I’m sure she will be.” Sam secured the reins and helped Olive alight. “I think it might be best if I don’t show my face. I’ll speak to Tom, but if you don’t mind, would you please tell her I wish her the best?”
“Yes, of course.” Olive searched his face for any indication he regretted his decision where Mary was concerned, but saw nothing. The jealousy she’d experienced before was gone for good. She’d spent time in prayer repenting of the feelings she thought she couldn’t control, and received God’s peace and forgiveness. Maybe she’d learned a lesson that coveting what she couldn’t have was wrong. If only she could remove the attraction for Sam as easily, but even though she also prayed for it to leave, that prayer had yet to be answered. Surely, when she saw Mike it would go.
As soon as her feet touched the ground, she hurried off to find her friend. When she saw the red rimming Mary’s eyes, compassion filled her heart. She was glad no one else was near. “Mary, I wish you didn’t have to leave us, but I’m sure it’s for the best.”
Mary’s smile appeared forced. “Yes, I think so. Tom and I had a long talk last night, and I’m seeing things a little differently than I did before. I told you about the man I was to marry, didn’t I?”
Olive nodded.
“When I learned he wouldn’t be coming back, I must have cried for a week. Then we started on this journey. I was sure I’ll never get married, but Tom says I will. There are still men even though it seems they’re few and far between. But the soldiers are coming back.” Tears filled her eyes, and she brushed them away. “At least those who made it through the war. I’m only nineteen, but I feel so old. Tom says to trust God to bring me the desires of my heart. I pushed my own way instead. I thought I could make Sam want me, but he doesn’t.”
“I’m so sorry, Mary.” Olive spoke the words and realized she meant them. She’d had no business wanting to keep Sam for her own when she couldn’t have him and Mike too. How dreadfully she had acted!
“It’s all right, Olive. I’m going to be just fine.” Mary reached for her. “Here comes Mrs. Howell. Please, give me a hug before the others get here. I’ll miss you.”
“I will miss you too. May God go with you, and your brother. Sam said to tell you he wishes the best for you.” Their hug was brief but heartfelt. As she pulled away, Olive promised, “I’ll pray for you, Mary. I’ll be praying that God sends you a man with whom you can share a deep, abiding love. I’ll also pray that your children will be healthy and your home will be filled with love and laughter.”
Mary’s laugh ended with a sob. “You are a wonderful friend. I’m going to miss you. Thank you a million times over.”
“I hear you’re leaving us.” At Mrs. Howell’s approach, Olive stepped back. She noticed Sam talking with Tom and Mr. Howell several feet away. He glanced toward her and smiled.
She lifted her hand in a quick wave, hoping he’d understand that Mary was going to be all right. If not, she’d tell him later.
~*~
Sam gave Olive a nod. Her smile and wave must mean all was well with Mary. He was glad as he’d never intended to hurt the girl. In fact, he’d tried to discourage her every way he could. His gaze rested on Olive, a longing to allow his feelings to grow filling his heart. As he walked back to the wagon, he shoved the thought aside. No use in crying over spilled milk. Funny how his mother’s old sayings kept popping into his mind. Made him miss her and Margaret too.
Maybe he’d feel better if he thought Olive would have a good life with Mike. But how could she? Sunbeam would see to it that her life was miserable, if simply living on the ranch with all her family coming and going didn’t do it. Olive would be afraid of them. How would she be able to share her husband? Because of her white skin, Olive would be first wife, but Sunbeam would make sure she felt like second wife. Maybe he should tell her the whole story.
He walked away, leaned against the tree sheltering the wagon and horses, and took out his pocket watch. They’d stopped to eat about an hour ago, and now were delayed again by the Loanes’ farewell. He pushed the catch on the watch, and it flipped open. It was one thirty now. If they could get on the road pretty soon, they should be able to cover several more miles before dark.
“Where did you get that?” Olive’s voice startled him.
He turned quickly to find her staring at him. Her eyes were wide and her face pale. “I didn’t hear you come up. What’s wrong?”
“That.” She pointed toward the watch. “Where did you get it?”
He looked at the watch in his hand and shrugged. “I guess I didn’t tell you about what happened to me out in Kansas, did I?”
“The three outlaws?” Her voice seemed strained.
“No, that was in Missouri, southeast of Kansas City. Before them, I had a run-in with some Union soldiers.” He shrugged. “They rode into my camp, pretty much like the outlaws did. Didn’t take long to see they’d been nipping at the bottle and felt a mite too important for their own good.”
“The war was over, wasn’t it?” She looked at him as if she didn’t believe him. “Why hadn’t they gone home?”
“I don’t know.” He met her gaze with a steady one of his own. Something was wrong, and he didn’t know what it was. “Maybe they had their own unfinished business against the South. Anyway, they said they were going to string me up as a Southern spy. When I disagreed with them, they pulled their firearms and missed. I didn’t.”
Her hand flew to cover her mouth as her eyes widened. “You killed them?”
He held his gaze steady. “It was either me or them. I wasn’t interested in playing their game, but they more or less invited me to. Actually, they left me no choice.”
Slowly, her hand came down as her arms crossed. She tossed her head as if she didn’t care, but he knew she did. For some reason she was very interested in the watch in his hand. Her eyes turned toward it. “So where did the watch come from?”
“One of the soldiers had it in his pocket.” Sam lifted one shoulder. “I didn’t figure he’d be needing it anymore.”
“Did he have any scars on his face, or any marks?” She looked away as if the question wasn’t important.
Sam knew better. He thought back to that night as he recalled the face of the one who’d had the watch. Obviously, he was the one she was interested in. He almost told her there’d been none, but then he remembered. “No scars, but on his neck just below his left ear a bright red birthmark in the shape of a crescent moon. I’d never seen any like that before.”
“No!” The one word burst from her lips then she turned and ran off.
Sam shoved the watch in his pocket and easily overtook her. He caught her arm, turning her to face him. “What’s going on? Did you expect me to sit there and let them kill me? What’s wrong with you, anyway?”
Her eyes flashed with a red-hot fire, but she didn’t try to pull away. “How do you expect me to feel when you tell me you killed my husband after I thought he was already dead?”
“Your husband?” Sam dropped her arm. “I shot your husband?”
“You described him perfectly, and you have his watch. He was supposed to have already been ….” She visibly stiffened. “Are you sure he’s dead now?”
“Yeah, he’s dead.” Sam turned from her, his mind racing but making little sense. Was she glad he’d killed the man, or did she hate him now for taking her beloved husband? Either way, she was lost to him. Even if Mike decided he didn’t want her, killing her husband had stripped him of the dearest thing he’d ever had—her friendship even without her love. He couldn’t have erected a stronger barrier between them if he’d tried. She had no choice but to hate her husband’s murderer even if he had acted in self-defense.
The next few days while the two wagons continued down the road, Sam missed Olive with an almost physical pain as she kept her distance and spared not even a glance his way. He considered throwing the watch as far as he could, but decided she might want it for a keepsake after she’d calmed down.
One evening after supper, he walked toward the horses, thinking Bullseye might like to go for a ride. He’d rather face a solitary ride than Olive’s silence.
He might as well admit it. He loved her. No doubt, right now she was wishing she’d never met him.
“Sam?”
Now he was hearing her sweet voice. He shook his head and continued walking.
“Sam, please wait for me.”
He stopped as his heart took up a heavy beat. If that was Olive, she was calling out his given name. She’d never done that before. He turned as if in a dream and beheld the vision of her slim figure coming closer. A splash of moonlight fell across her face, and he knew this was no vision. Tears glistened before hiding again in the darkness. Then she was there, standing before him and he saw the streaks running down her cheeks.
With a shaky hand, he touched them, wiping them away. “Why are you here? I thought you hated me.”
She held her head still, lifted to him. “No, I don’t hate you. I’ve been thinking about what happened. It wasn’t your fault. I know how terrible Joshua could be when he was sober. When he drank, he was unbearable and dangerous. I’m …” She ducked her head before looking up again. “I wasn’t a widow when I promised to marry Mike. I didn’t know, but it still isn’t right. I want out. I want to get away from my past. Please, will you take me to Joseph and Margaret in Liberty Flats so I can think before I have to decide what to do? After we get the Howell’s safely with their son, we could go on to my brother’s. It wouldn’t take more than a day. Please?”
He couldn’t resist the pleading in her eyes. And he couldn’t resist her. Hadn’t he done enough to her already? She must have loved her husband in spite of knowing how he acted. After all, she’d been crying. A heavy load settled on his heart as he nodded. “All right, we’ll go on to Liberty Flats. I’d like to see Margaret. If you decide to continue to New Mexico, we’ll still have the outfit to sell for a train ticket.” He took a deep breath and released it. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you I’m sorry, but I am. I’ve never killed a man except when my life was hanging in the balance. Even during the war I didn’t. But I’m sorry more than you can know.”
“I understand, but I’m not ready to talk about it. I need time to sort out my feelings. I’m going to bed now. Thank you for letting me visit my brother. I’ll see you in the morning.” With that, she turned and walked away.
Sam watched until she reached camp then checked the horses. Afterward, he lay on his bedroll under the wagon and finally started to drift to sleep when a horrible scream jerked him fully awake.
Olive!
He rolled into the clear and scrambled to his feet, a six-shooter in his hand.