“Mrs. Duncan?” Olivia looked over her shoulder. Dr. Whitt and Maggie were watching her. She wiped the cool cloth across the flushed face of her patient and slowly got to her feet.
Turning, she asked, “You want me?” Maggie nodded and Olivia crossed the room to them. “What is it?”
“Maggie tells me you’ve been here over a month,” Dr. Whitt said, “and you haven’t left the place. Unless you want to be ill, you must begin to take more precautions. I’m ordering you to get out of the building every day. Take a walk, and be gone at least an hour.”
“Doctor, we’re too busy,” Olivia protested in a whisper. “I could work twenty-four hours a day and still find more to do.”
“If you do, you’ll not last another month. Mrs. Duncan, that man you were bathing has a communicable disease. If you don’t maintain your health, you’ll catch it. Now wash your hands and go. Maggie tells me Miss Cable is coming right away.”
“Very well.” Olivia saw her patient watching. Quickly she went to him and tried to smile into his miserable eyes. “Lettie will be here shortly; I must leave.” He closed his eyes and nodded. Blinking at tears, Olivia walked out of the long ward.
At the door she looked down at her soiled apron and began to remove it. Her fingers slowed on the buttons, and she touched her brooch. Lettie Cable came down the stairs. “Going out?”
“Yes, I was ordered to leave the building for some fresh air. I just now thought of an errand.” She swallowed hard. “It’s a girl I knew in Pennsylvania; I really need to see her.”
“You’d better change your dress and comb your hair,” Lettie said gently. “For us, you are fine, but—”
Olivia tried to grin. “I guess I am tired. About Roger—I’m afraid his temperature is up.” Lettie nodded, and Olivia hurried up the stairs.
As she changed her frock, she thought about Beth and the strange reluctance she had to renew their friendship. Taking out the slip of paper with the name and address of Beth’s friend, she read it, murmuring, “I do believe that is a very short distance from here, just beyond the Capitol.”
She left the hospital, nearly giddy from the rush of cool, fresh air in her face. For the first block, Olivia hurried, panting with exertion. Realizing her agitated state, she stopped, sighed, and turned slowly. People rushed around her. She saw the pale blue sky with its rolling thunderheads. “It’s spring, and I’d scarcely noticed.” She saw the bright yellows, lavenders, and pinks of violets, lilacs, tulips, and jonquils. The city park was spotted with them; window boxes constrained them. Olivia took a deep breath.
An old gentleman sitting on a bench looked first at her and then the view. “Seems a right good sign that life’s continuing even when we’re a blotching it,” he said.
She watched him warily. His familiar southern accent identified him. “You working in the hospital down the road?” he asked.
“How did you guess?”
He chuckled, “Your frock.” His face sobered; he nodded toward the flowers. “After a winter such as we’ve had, it’s nice to know God’s in His heaven. Maybe spring is a promise. We need something unshakable.” She saw the sadness in his eyes as he added, “My life is nearly over, but you young ones will be left to put it all back together again. Even the parts our thoughtlessness has ruined.”
With tears in her eyes, she nodded. “Good day to you, sir.”
Olivia checked the address on her paper and stopped on the sidewalk to look at the imposing entrance to the house. Slowly she walked up the flight of steps to the door and tapped. The woman who opened the door was tiny and withered. Like a drought-stricken apple still on the limb, Olivia thought. “I’m Olivia Duncan and I would like to see Beth Peamble, or if she isn’t at home, Miss Cynthia Bowen,” she said.
“Neither of them’s at home,” the woman replied curtly, eyeing Olivia with suspicion. “Miss Peamble will be here tomorrow; might try again.”
Olivia left her name and walked away, feeling as if she had been relieved of a distasteful task. She walked slowly back to the hospital, wondering about her attitude.
****
When Beth and Cynthia returned that evening, the dour maid said, “There’s been a female here looking for Beth or Cynthia. Looked to me like an abolitionist. Kinda strung out and wearing dowdy duds. Said her name’s Olivia Duncan.” As she left the room, she added, “I told her you’d be here tomorrow. Want I should turn her back?”
Beth stared at Cynthia. “Oh dear; I left your name with the Coopers in Pennsylvania. That’s before I had any idea of what you’re up to.”
Cynthia laughed. “My, Beth! You act as if we’re in danger of losing our heads. Dear, this is just a little game to help in the war effort. Our part to make things go smoothly.” Still chuckling, she stood up. “After Mr. Adams and Mr. Stollen leave tonight, we’ll discuss the matter. Now we need to be prepared for the evening; come and rest.”
Beth tossed restlessly on Cynthia’s guest bed and tried to think of a way to straighten out the tangle her life had become. What do I say, how do I explain it all? She’ll look right through me, and I’ll be exposed! Beth slipped her hand under her pillow and felt the tiny flannel bag. She fingered the rings, the emerald bracelet, the ruby brooch. Satisfied they were all there, she sighed and snuggled her head into the deep soft pillow.
Later she faced Cynthia and confessed, “Maybe I’d just better leave right now. I’ll make a bumble of it. I’m just not smart like you are. Back home I’d never have guessed you’d end up like this.”
“Beth, my dear, I’m not ending, I’m beginning. Of course, if you don’t see this as challenging and fun—but even more important, as something you must do to help the South win this war—well then…”
“Oh, Cynthia,” Beth gasped, “you make me sound disloyal. It’s not that at all. It’s just that I always say and do the wrong things. I can’t—”
“Yes you can, if you so desire. Beth, if not this, what will you be doing with your life that’s really significant? I can tell by your face that you’ve not given it a thought. Besides,” Cynthia added, sipping her tea, “this puts me in a very awkward position. Because you indicated you were willing to help, I’ve put myself out on a limb. You have met some of our prime contacts—those men in the White House who are strong links to the South. Do you realize only a handful of people in this city know of their activities?” She paused. “Beth Peamble, it’s time to grow up. If you are simply scared, so what? I am too. This is serious business, but the South can’t make it without you.”
In a moment more, Cynthia continued, “There’s money too. I don’t know what you’ve been doing, but your wardrobe makes me suspicious. I happen to know your family couldn’t afford one pair of kid slippers such as the half dozen you own. I know the price of the clothing this new Beth wears, and it doesn’t come cheaply.”
“Cynthia, I—” she gulped. “I just can’t tell you. But, honest, I’m not a—bad woman.”
“Sweetie, I didn’t say you were. Neither did I intimate you must become a lady of the streets to accomplish this task.” She leaned forward and hissed, “This is not only honorable, but very, very necessary if we are to win this war and have our old life back—on a silver platter, if you please. Beth, I can assure you that in the end, we will be praised and amply rewarded for our efforts in this war.”
Beth studied her fingernails. Of the thoughts that marched through her mind, one series of images stood out starkly—she and Mike standing in that shabby room while the white silk and lace gown billowed around her. “I cannot marry you, Beth.”
The hurt and shame of the day swept over her. She examined the emotions churning around inside. It’s like butter, she thought. Pound the cream around and something solid comes out. Might be this is the most important thing that’s ever happened to me—Cynthia and her project.
She clenched her hands under the table. Taking a deep breath, Beth said, “Cynthia, you’re right. I must be loyal. But I’m still scared. Will you help me?”
“Of course, dear. But Beth, you need to look at the cause as being something beyond yourself. If you can’t commit yourself to this with a passionate zeal, then when things get difficult you may want to get out of it all. That must not happen. Do you understand? It is possible your life will depend on how you approach this task.”
Slowly Beth nodded. “I understand, Cynthia. I promise I won’t back down.”
Cynthia narrowed her eyes. “You mean it? How can you jump around like a fish out of water and then get this sudden passion to help us?”
Carefully Beth evaluated the new thoughts that had been filling her mind since she’d come to Washington. They were beginning to be more important than fear. She looked up. “Number one, there’s a Union fella I’d like to see dug under. Number two, I’d like to be a somebody. Cynthia, you know what it was like with Pa…just a poor tenant farmer. You know what it’s like to have the plantation folks sneering at us hill folks. You know what it’s like to want—it’s a sickness gnawing out your insides.”
“Yes, I know,” Cynthia nodded. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Well, I want to be somebody, too. I want a fine house, and people thinking I’m worth spending time on. I want to be a real lady. I want pretty clothes and—” Cynthia’s eyes narrowed again. A minute more and I’d have spilled it all, Beth thought as she jumped to her feet.
“I think you’ll make it; those are all the right reasons if you don’t happen to be Jefferson Davis’ wife.”
Beth frowned. “Are you implying I’m not loyal enough?”
Cynthia ignored the question. “Now, come eat your cakes; we need to dress. Maude is serving dinner at seven-thirty. I’m glad you have such a nice wardrobe; that’s important.”
“Back in Pennsylvania they didn’t even notice it,” Beth muttered as she swallowed the last of the cake. “But if you keep feeding me like this, I won’t be able to wear my frocks.”
“Having a few more curves will be to your advantage,” Cynthia replied as she left the room, and Beth stared after her.
****
Mr. Timothy Stollen had a mustache which tickled Beth’s hand when he kissed it. He also had gray eyes—cold, yet curious. Several times during the evening, she discovered him watching her. Uneasily aware of those calculating eyes, she decided she was frightened, not flattered.
Halfway through dinner Beth began to compare the two men. Nat Adams seemed devoted to Cynthia, but his restless eyes and impatient fingers seemed to be saying something else. When coffee and liqueur were served in the library, Beth began to sense an underlying pattern. It’s like a game; we act because we must.
Nat Adams sat down beside her. “Miss Bowen tells me you’ll serve as courier. Do you realize the importance of secrecy? The life of the Confederacy depends on our being able to keep the lines of communication open. Beth, you’ll meet important men. This will call for confidence and discretion.” He gave her a quick glance. “Think you can make a good impression on Richmond’s elite as well as Washington’s? Being a courier is a skill you can develop, if you’re determined to do so.”
Studying his shrewd eyes, she felt the stirring of excitement. She could see herself dressed in velvet and diamonds, attending balls in Richmond. “I understand,” she said. “But it’s hard making promises when I don’t know what will be required. Why does the South need communication with Washington?”
“The South must know every important detail we can give them. You realize numerically the South can’t hope to win this war. But with knowledge of campaign plans, we’ll be able to wear the enemy down. Already we’re seeing the effects of good communication with Richmond. It gives our men a great deal of confidence going into battle, knowing what the North has planned. Beth, we intend to hammer away at the North, demoralize them, and in the end win. I do not think this war will continue much longer; I fully expect the Union to come begging at our doorstep. With our advantage, they’ll be more than happy to give us just what we want.”
“Slavery,” she breathed.
Tim leaned forward in his chair. “It isn’t just that. We must be free as a nation, and we’re paying a terrible price for that freedom. On both sides men are dying like flies. Can you appreciate a fellow like me being concerned with people dying?”
“I thought only Quakers felt that way.”
“Doesn’t sound like you’re too fond of them.”
“They don’t care for the good life. Never have any fun, and after a time they begin to come across as better’n anyone else alive. Always talking about God.”
He chuckled, and Ned continued. “We have men close to those who make decisions and plan strategy. This information must be passed on. While you are in the learning stage, you will be making a trip with another courier to meet contact people and to see how this is handled.”
Later that evening, as the men prepared to leave, Nat Adams returned to her side, saying, “I’ll make arrangements for your first trip and advise you.” She watched him leave and with a shiver she ran quickly up to her room.
****
The following afternoon Olivia came. Beth faced her across the tea table. “Are you well?” Beth asked. “You seem thin and tired.”
“I am fine. The work is hard. But I feel as if this is what God wants me to do with my life, now that—”
Beth shuddered and said slowly, “Olivia, maybe for me the way things turned out was best. Looking back now I can hardly believe myself.” She glanced up. Hastily she added, “I guess what I’m saying is that being with Cynthia has helped me grow up. I’m no longer as timid and uncertain as I was back there.”
Olivia looked at her, puzzled. “That’s strange, Beth, I didn’t see you as being timid. Maybe uncertain, but sometimes it pays to be careful before we make decisions.”
“I’m trying to say I think I’m growing up. Cynthia does that for a person. Makes me think about what I want out of life. What’s important.”
“What have you decided?”
“I suppose I’ll want to make friends here. Get to know the city. Olivia, I really like Washington. It’s exciting. I’d like to feel myself a part of the important things happening here. I’m not certain where I’ll start. I suppose I need to think about earning some money first.” She looked at Olivia’s curious expression. “You know, for clothes and such. No one will look at me until I have a decent wardrobe. Since leaving Pennsylvania, I’m starting to see how dowdy and countrified the place is.”
“Perhaps it is,” Olivia replied slowly, “but I love the people. I learned to appreciate the deep spiritual side of them. They weren’t afraid to admit the importance of having God in their lives. I learned plenty about Christianity and love simply from watching Amos and Sadie.” She paused. “Have you heard from them?”
Beth nodded. “They didn’t say much except they’d had a letter from Mike and he wants to write to me. But I don’t want to hear from him.” She shuddered. “Those stories he told, and that scar—it was close to his eye! I suppose I just want to enjoy life and not be reminded.”
Carefully Olivia placed her cup and saucer on the table and smiled at Beth, who said, “I suppose you’ll be too busy to visit me often. I miss the good times we all had in Pennsylvania.”
“Beth, I don’t intend to drop you,” Olivia said quickly. “What are you going to do with your time while you are in Washington?”
“I don’t know,” she answered evasively, twisting her hands. “I’m hoping to be doing a little traveling, so don’t be surprised if I’m gone. But I’m hoping you’ll come visit me again.”
“Of course. Dr. Whitt has suggested I get fresh air every day. He says I need it to stay healthy. Perhaps we can walk together.”
Beth’s face brightened. “Oh, I’d love that. Would you come tomorrow?” Surprised by the girl’s eagerness, Olivia hesitated. Hastily Beth added, “That is, if you wish.”
“Yes, that will be a good idea.” Olivia stood up. “About this time?”
After Olivia left, Beth leaned against the front door and thought of life in Pennsylvania, before Alex’s death, before Olivia had been pressed into this sad woman.
As she went to her room to prepare for the evening meeting, other pictures of Pennsylvania surfaced. She remembered Alex with the big Bible in his hands, saying, “Beth, religion isn’t a matter of belonging to a church. It’s all a matter of belonging to the Kingdom of God. When you become acquainted with God you know He’s aware of every detail of your life, even the thoughts you think. Frankly, it was a wonderful feeling when I discovered we don’t have to pretend in front of Him.” Why did he say that? I’d been so careful to fit in with the others.
Later Beth went downstairs to discover that Nat Adams and Timothy Stollen had a guest. Beth entered the drawing room just as the dark-haired woman kissed Timothy. She turned with a pout. “You must be Beth Peamble. I’m teasing these gentlemen into going with us. How can they expect unescorted females to be treated with courtesy?”
With a mocking smile, Cynthia shook her head. “Beth this is Kathleen Cogall. You two need to get acquainted; you’ll be working together.” With a grin, she added, “Kathleen’s been with us for the past year and, as you can see, is getting very saucy.”
Looking at the men, Beth noticed Timothy Stollen’s eyes were a degree colder than they had been the previous meeting. She turned to Kathleen. “I’m very happy to meet you, Kathleen. I need to hear all about this. It’s—exciting.” The men looked at each other while Beth chewed her lip and reviewed her words.
“Kathleen, I’ve no intention of going with you,” Tim Stollen said. “It’s important for me to remain in the background; otherwise you wouldn’t have been hired.” He smiled with his lips, but his eyes remained cold. “If you must play, do so after your work is completed.”
Late that evening, after Cynthia closed the door behind the three, she faced Beth and asked, “What is wrong? You didn’t look too happy this evening.”
“Cynthia,” she whispered, “to tell the truth, I just can’t see myself doing this. I know I’ll do it all wrong. I want out before this goes any further.”
“It doesn’t work that way, Beth. Carrying the messages is important, but protecting the people involved is much more important. Don’t let us down now. It’s gone too far for you to back out gracefully.” Beth observed the hard line of Cynthia’s jaw, nodded, and hurried upstairs.
****
When Olivia met Beth the next day, she eyed her carefully and gently asked, “What is it, Beth? You seem miles away this afternoon. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“Oh!” Beth looked at Olivia and blinked. “I didn’t realize it. I—the day’s lovely and I’ve just been daydreaming, I suppose.” She was silent for a while, then she said abruptly, “Olivia, sometimes I get confused. In Pennsylvania, at meetinghouse, they talked about loving God and doing good to your neighbor as if it were the most important part of life. Do you agree?”
“Jesus said so. He called them the two most important of the commandments. Keeping them,” Olivia added slowly, “is a good indicator of whether or not a person is serious about being a Christian.”
She slanted a look at Beth and was surprised to see the troubled look on the girl’s face. Olivia’s heart quickened with excitement. Is this the opportunity I’ve wanted so badly? she wondered.
“Let’s sit down and watch the birds and squirrels,” Olivia murmured, pointing to the park bench.
“Then if a person keeps these commandments he’ll go to heaven?”
In a rush of words, Olivia asked, “Beth, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Beth admitted. “In Pennsylvania I kept hearing the same thing. Even Mike said it, but what does it mean?”
“To become a child of God. We can’t belong to God or even enjoy being in His company until we’ve done something about the selfishness in our lives. I know this for a fact. I had to face it in myself. But there’s nothing we humans can do to be righteous.”
“I don’t understand,” Beth murmured. “Since we’ve done the sinning, it seems we ought to be the ones coming forward and doing something about it.”
“But what could we do?”
“It would have to be something significant, wouldn’t it?”
“God is holy,” Olivia said slowly. “And we are His willful, disobedient children. Did you know those Old Testament men were afraid of God? When Moses was up on the mountain getting the law, the Israelites were nearly frightened to death. They knew they were sinful and unworthy, and they knew God knew it, too!”
“Olivia, it’s terrible just listening to you! I don’t like talking this way.”
“Beth, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I just wanted to say that God working through Jesus Christ is reconciling the world to himself, forgiving our sins. Only Jesus could do anything about our record of sin; nothing we do could ever be good enough. And all we have to do is be willing to accept the sacrifice Jesus made for us.”
Beth stood up suddenly. “It’s getting very late, Olivia. I didn’t mean to keep you so long.”
Olivia got up. “Beth, I accepted that gift of salvation. Looking back at the difference that step made, the joy and happiness I gained through getting to know God, I tremble to think how terrible this past year would have been without the Lord to help me.”
Beth led the way out of the park. She turned to Olivia. Stiffly she said, “Thank you for explaining it all to me.”
“Beth, it takes more than knowing about it. You have to let Jesus Christ be your Savior, too.”
She hesitated. “Please come see me again.”
“I will, Beth. I promise.”
As Beth walked slowly back to Cynthia’s house, she was busy thinking of her new life. The vision of velvet and diamonds was sharp and clear in her mind. And Mike…her stomach knotted as she recalled his face, his serious eyes, his gentle kisses. She shivered, exclaiming, “Thank God that wedding didn’t happen!” Then she quickened her steps, wondering why his name still brought a lump to her throat.