Alex awakened with the first light of dawn. Turning, he saw Olivia standing in front of the open window. A breeze lifted her hair and gently pressed her white nightgown against her body.
He went to stand beside her. Wide-eyed wonder filled her face. Tiny wrens lined the window ledge; they chirped a gentle conversation and pecked with sleepy contentment. He smiled, glancing beyond them to the city park, the Potomac, and the hazy stretches of Virginia.
She was watching him now, wonder still in her eyes. Pressing her hands across his shoulders, she touched the red scar on his side, murmuring, “Jesus said not a bird falls apart from the Father’s knowledge.” He waited, seeing the sparkle of tears on her face.
“I didn’t realize how much God had to do in me. Now that the tension is gone, I do trust Him. God really does love us.” She lifted her face. “Do you understand that? In this worst of times, is it real to you?”
He nodded. “I’m deeply aware of His love. I see Matthew’s capture in Natchez as an example of God’s intervention in my life. Olivia, all these things don’t just happen. God is there tenderly caring for us. I know He has given us the freedom to choose our way, but I also know if we surrender our choosing to Him, He guides us and helps us make the right choice.”
“Alex, I’m going with you, as a camp nurse.” He moved uneasily. Quickly she pressed her fingers across his lips. “I’ve prayed about it. It must be my decision, and I know I can handle it well with God’s help. It isn’t even a pleading prayer that God will spare you; instead it’s another opportunity for me to allow God to work as He wishes. I’ll be stronger for having trusted Him in something completely beyond my little human ability.
“Alex, that happened at Gettysburg. God didn’t stop us from making that hasty, even foolish trip. But when the battle stopped us, Beth and I had to depend upon God in a way much more significant than we had done before.
“We lived through that horrible time, not just surviving, but doing all the terrible, difficult tasks with quietness and strength. And Alex, we both grew. Beth became a woman. I was tried to my limit, and God was always there.”
As he wrapped his arms around her and rested her head against his shoulder, she said, “I had read all those Bible verses about the power of Jesus Christ being in us, but I only marveled and yearned. Now I have proved that He will do this for me. I will continue to allow Him to make me strong.”
“Olivia, my precious one, you have become such a source of quiet and strength to me. Yes, God is that for us—power and endurance. We also help each other. I need you. While I live, I can’t risk your life. Even nurses aren’t safe on the battlefield.”
She leaned back to look at him. “Alex, I have learned to live with loss. It was very painful, but it taught me that God will bring me through disaster stronger, not weaker. We don’t have control over our lives. That’s in God’s hands. Why struggle with living or dying, when instead we can put our energies into doing and being?”
He circled her with his arms and turned her to the window. “The day is beautiful. Let’s walk through the city and talk about the future. I don’t mean tomorrow, but when the war is over. If it is best to be doing and being, then let’s plan.”
She turned her head to look up at him. “Alex, I’ve sensed a restlessness in you. It’s there when you talk with Matthew, when you read the war news. I sense you’re ready to go.”
“Yes. I’ve seen too many men die to be content sitting idle at home.”
“I thought that was the case.” She took a deep breath. “After breakfast let’s find Matthew and Crystal. If you want, we can invite them to go with us.”
Matthew and Crystal were in the dining room when they found them. Crystal looked up. “Good morning,” she said. “We’re going for a walk this morning, want to come?”
“Thank you,” Alex said. “We’d mentioned walking too.” He looked at Matthew. “Are you catching up on the news? Sounds like Sherman is still lying low in Tennessee.”
Matthew nodded, chuckled. “It’s to our advantage that Generals Bragg and Johnston seem to be at odds.”
“A comfort,” Alex muttered. “But right now I wish Sherman would do something. About Bragg, I’d begun to think the Army of the Potomac was the only outfit having leadership troubles.
Matthew nodded soberly. “Doesn’t make for high spirited troops when their leaders can’t agree on a line of action. I do think Generals Grant and Sherman are strong-minded enough to stick to their plans.”
****
Mike walked down the Washington street reading the signs on the buildings. A woman stopped beside him. “Sailor, are you looking for a particular building?”
“Yes, ma’am, the new Union hospital for soldiers.”
“It’s that building just across the street.” She smiled and hurried down the street.
Mike took a deep breath and muttered, “Well, Lord, here it is. I can’t back down now. Please help us to know Your will. Don’t let her be willing if you don’t want this to happen.”
He entered the hall and saw the rows of beds through the windows in the swinging doors.
“Are you looking for someone?”
He turned to face a smiling older woman and asked, “Is Beth Peamble a nurse here?”
“Yes. Come in, she’s just finishing her shift.” Mike followed. The afternoon sun drew patches of light on the white sheets on the beds. He looked at the men and cringed with the memory of the horror and pain during his time in the hospital.
A woman walked toward him, nearly hidden by a large white apron, her hair was bound away from her face. She recognized him, and he watched the emotion flicker across her face. For a moment he thought he detected a smile, then uncertainty followed by fear. “Mike, what is it?”
“I—nothing; I just wanted to see you.”
“Oh. I’ll be through here in a half hour. Are you in a hurry?”
He grinned. “Since I’ve come from Pennsylvania just to see you, I think I’ll wait.”
She blushed. Turning away she said, “I need to change. There are chairs in the hallway, or you could come back.”
He settled down in the entry hall and thumbed through an old newspaper. Beth’s face, shy and uncertain, claimed his attention. He moved his shoulders and grinned self-consciously.
When she came downstairs she wore a dark blue dress with a white lace collar. Her hair was loose and curly around her face, a torch against the dark cotton. She held a soft shawl.
He swallowed hard and smiled, then reached for the shawl. “Do you want this around your shoulders?”
“Is it cold?” He couldn’t remember. Tucking it around her he reached for the door.
Her eyes were wide, still startled. Watching him she said, “There’s a city park just down the street. Lots of trees, and a place to sit and talk.”
“Sounds nice.” Feeling awkward, careful not to touch her, he followed her. They walked down the street with Beth chattering.
She stopped. “Oh, Alex and Olivia and Crystal and Matthew are still here. Perhaps you’d rather see them.”
“Not now. Sadie told me they were here.” He took her arm as they crossed the street. She glanced uneasily toward a house opposite the park and he wondered about the sober expression as she led the way into the grove.
“There’s a lake down through the trees. Ducks and some swans live there. Poor things; even they look scrawny.”
She took a deep breath. “You know, it’s a real miracle to see Alex come back.” He nodded, and she rushed on. “And Matthew was the one who found him.”
“Beth, let’s sit over here on this bench. Will the sun be too much for you?”
“No, after being in that place all day, I love the sun.” They sat, and she turned to face him. He saw her eyes darken, and she whispered, “Mike, what is it?”
“That I’ve come to see you?”
“No. I have never seen you like this. Was it terrible, Mike?” Caught off guard, he could only look at her. Her eyes seemed nearly dark lavender.
“I’ve been reading the newspaper, thinking about you. Mike, they’ve said there’s been merciless guerrilla forces in Tennessee and Mississippi. I wondered about you.”
He dropped his head, the pictures flooding his mind. “We ran into the results of their work; it was pretty bad.”
“I can see you don’t want to talk about it. Mike, why have you come so far to see me?”
“Isn’t that what friends are expected to do?”
She shook her head. “Not the kind who fight with you most of the time. Mike, we just don’t get along now, I don’t think we have—anything in common. When I saw you, I was afraid. All I could think was that something terrible had happened to Sadie or Amos.”
“But not that something terrible had happened to me?”
“I can see you are alive and well—at least I thought so. But I think you’re terribly troubled.”
“I am; you won’t be still long enough for me to ask you a question.”
Flustered, she suddenly fell silent. “I’m sorry, Mike. What is it?”
“Beth, will you marry me?”
“Now?” her voice trembled.
“Just any time. Now, or ten years from now. I just want to marry you.”
“Mike, then why—back then?”
“I knew you’d ask. Beth, I don’t know why. All I know is that God burdened me with the feeling that we shouldn’t marry then. I supposed he was asking me to give you up forever. Just the past two months I got the feeling that it isn’t our marriage He didn’t want, it was simply the time we had chosen. After I had my leg shot off, I decided that was a reason. No girl wants to be married to a man with one leg when there are plenty around with two.”
“Mike, if you’re asking me now, that implies I can’t attract a man with two legs. It also implies I’m—” She stopped, and slowly said, “But I am not very level-headed.”
“Beth, I don’t care what you are. I love you and want to marry you. In fact, I want to marry you right now.”
“Mike,” she whispered, staring wide-eyed into his face, “I didn’t tell you all. I didn’t tell you about—”
“Beth, I don’t care. Just marry me.” There were tears in her eyes. She sniffed and nodded. “Would you let me kiss you, right here?”
She laughed. Wiping her eyes, she lifted her face. “Yes, Mike.” There was no teasing in her eyes, no coy games. She loved him, and he knew it.
“Beth, my darling Beth.” He kissed her, then kissed her again, holding her close.
Suddenly voices came from the walk. “They are supposed to be looking at the ducks.”
“Shall we throw them in the lake?”
Mike and Beth turned. “Alex! Matthew!” Mike stood up and held out his hands.
Olivia smiled down at Beth. “You’re blushing!”
Crystal folded her arms and shook her head. “Beth! I want to know how long this has been going on? I thought you couldn’t stand to be around that man.”
Mike turned. “I found out she likes men with one leg, so I asked her—”
“Asked her to marry you! Oh, Mike, Beth!” Olivia turned to the others. “Quick, let’s find someone to marry them right now, before they change their minds again.”
“We won’t,” the reply came from both.
While Beth and Mike looked at each other, Olivia said, “But we don’t trust you. Crystal, I think we’d better go plan this wedding now.”
Thoughtfully, Beth said, “That might be a good idea.” Mike blinked, and she added, “Do you want to risk losing me to someone else?”
****
The following day Crystal looked through Beth’s clothes. “Not dark blue. How about this one with the tiny rose blossom print?” She turned. “Beth, you aren’t listening.”
“I’m afraid to rush into something as serious as marriage.”
“Rush? You’ve known him forever.”
“I don’t think you’re rushing,” Olivia said, “and neither will Sadie. Don’t you want to be married today?”
“Oh yes!”
“Let’s go! The fellows are waiting at the church.”
****
The organ music was thin and reedy; one note was flat. Beth clutched the roses Olivia had given her and looked at Mike. He didn’t seem sorry.
The thin gray-haired pastor was very sober. He looked from one to the other. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here before God, for the purpose of uniting this couple in holy matrimony.”
Olivia looked at Alex and whispered, “I do.” Crystal squeezed Matthew’s hand while he looked down at her and smiled. Mike kissed Beth.
As they left the church, Alex said, “And now, Beth and Mike, we’ve arranged dinner for all of us at the hotel. Also, they are holding a room for a Mr. and Mrs. Mike Clancy.”
“Mrs. Mike Clancy,” Beth blushed and looked at Mike.
Mike raised a skeptical eyebrow at Alex.
“Honest, no horse play. But come on, I’m hungry.”