Helene guided Marguerite down the basement steps and into the kitchen. She wasn’t surprised to find the twins and Mrs. Smith-Porterhouse there. Despite her best efforts to keep them occupied, the twins seemed to gravitate back toward her house at every opportunity.
“Marguerite, is that you?” Lisette shot to her feet and hurried around the table, swiftly followed by Christian.
Helene stepped back to allow the twins to hug their sister. Marguerite started sobbing again, and Lisette hugged her hard. Helene wondered bleakly if she was even necessary to Marguerite’s comfort now since her siblings were there. Watching them together made her feel like an outsider again.
“Maman?”
Helene pasted on a smile as Marguerite turned to her.
“Oui?”
“Can I go and rest for a while?”
“Of course, my dear. I’ll take you up myself.”
“There is no need, Maman,” Lisette said, her arm around her older sister’s shoulders. “Marguerite can share my room.”
“If that is what you want, Marguerite.” Helene nodded at her daughters. “Perhaps you will come and see me in my study when you feel better.”
Marguerite reached out to squeeze her hand. “Thank you for coming for me.”
Helene shrugged. “I am your mother. What else would I do?”
Lisette led Marguerite toward the stairs, chattering all the time. Christian loitered at the door and then cleared his throat. Startled, Helene looked up.
“Thank you.”
She tried to smile. “For what?”
“For finding Marguerite. I…didn’t think you would.”
Helene fought a sudden urge to cry. “I didn’t do anything; Marguerite found me. Now, if you will excuse me.”
Christian didn’t move. “Maman… is it true, what Mr. Ross said?”
“As I have no idea what he said, I can scarcely answer you.”
“About the Bastille…about your family.”
Helene briefly closed her eyes. She didn’t want to have this discussion now, so close to finding out about Marguerite’s appalling tragedy.
“He told you the truth. Now, I really have to get back to work. There are many arrangements that need to be made on your sister’s behalf.”
Christian stepped back, his face as suddenly shuttered as hers. “If I have distressed you, I apologize.”
She forced herself to meet his eyes. “No, you haven’t. It all happened a long time ago, and I rarely think about it.”
She prayed he wouldn’t see through that lie, hoped he’d never realize that despite her best efforts, she’d allowed those events to dictate and distort her entire life.
Christian gave her an awkward smile. “I’ll go and see Marguerite, then.”
Helene nodded, unable to speak, and watched him leave. When the door swung shut, she followed Philip’s example and found her way to a dark corner of the wine cellar. At least here she could let down her guard and sob to her heart’s content. That had always been her way. Survive the crisis and then fall apart discreetly in private.
She wiped her eyes with her handkerchief and blew her nose. At least Marguerite was safe. Helene would do everything in her power to make sure her daughter received her dues as a widow. She didn’t care what the Lockwood family said. That was one way she could ensure that Marguerite never wanted for anything again.
And Christian had spoken to her voluntarily. He’d even thanked her for helping Marguerite. Perhaps she ought to be thanking Philip instead. Whatever he had said to Christian had obviously affected him. It seemed Philip was a better parent than she after all.
God, everything was such a mess. She was tired of having to present a calm exterior to the world when inside she felt like crying. The temptation to lean on Philip beckoned, but it still scared her. Did she have the courage to trust him?
With a sigh, Helene stood up. Her moment of weakness was over, and she now had to move on. Her business wouldn’t run itself, and in a matter of hours, she needed to become the sparkling, slightly wicked hostess the ton expected to see at her salons.
It was going to be hard to pretend she was a scintillating woman tonight when all she wanted was to stay with Marguerite and simply be a mother. She climbed back up the stairs and found her way to her study. Someone had lit a fire in the grate, and a pile of letters sat on her desk.
A note in Philip’s now familiar handwriting caught her eye, and she frowned. He was supposed to be at the pleasure house. Where had he been when all the family drama was taking place? She scanned the note. Urgent business with his solicitor? Considering the hours he worked, she supposed it was difficult for him to see the man without inviting him to the pleasure house, and she could see that would never do.
Philip had better be back soon, though, or their agreement would definitely be over. Helene stared at the stack of unopened letters. There was nothing else for her to do but get on with the day’s business, start helping Marguerite, and hope that Philip Ross didn’t abuse her trust.
“Good evening, my dear.”
Helene looked up to find George, attired in his evening clothes, smiling down at her.
“George, what time is it?”
He took out his pocket watch. “It’s almost seven. Aren’t you dressing for dinner tonight?”
Helene took off her spectacles and rubbed at her eyes. “I can’t believe it is so late. I had a lot to catch up on today. Have you seen Philip?”
“Ross? Yes, he was in the kitchen when I passed by, chatting to Judd. Do you want me to get him for you?”
“No, I’d rather talk to you, George. It seems ages since we had the chance to chat.”
“What a nice thing to say.” George grinned and sat down.
Helene studied him carefully, realized she had the perfect opportunity to disabuse him of a few of his more outlandish ideas.
“How are your wife and Amanda?”
His smile faded. “They are both well. Why do you ask?”
“Because I heard a rumor that your wife had gotten rid of her lover and that you were reconciled.”
“Who told you that?”
Helene smiled airily. “Oh, you know how it is; people tell me things all the time. I rarely believe them.”
“Then don’t believe that nonsense. It’s true that my wife has discarded her lover, but it hasn’t changed things between us at all.”
“That’s a shame, George. I’d like you to be happy.”
He stared at her. “You know what would make me happy. Marry me.”
“You know that is not going to happen. You are one of my oldest friends. I made a rule even before I met you that I wouldn’t go to bed with men I liked.”
He got up and started pacing the carpet, all the good humor leached from his face. “You seem to like Philip Ross well enough and yet you let him fuck you.”
“That is a completely different situation. And it is also none of your business.”
George swung around. “Did you know he likes to fuck men?”
“I know that my clients’ sexual tastes are their business. I’m not here to judge anyone.”
Although she kept her tone light, her mind was working furiously. How had George known what Philip had been up to in the pleasure house both with her and with Adam? He’d either been snooping or reading her private files; neither action spoke of a rational man.
“Philip Ross isn’t a client, though, is he?”
Helene got up and walked across to the fireplace as if to warm her hands. When George started pacing again, she took the opportunity to ring the servant’s bell when his back was turned.
“Philip owns the same amount of shares as you. I consider him to be as much a member of the club as you are.”
George shoved his hand through his hair. “If we are the same, why don’t you fuck me?”
“George, you are married! I don’t sleep with married men. You know that.”
“But again you make an exception for Ross. He said he’s known you for years, so you must have had him when he was married.”
“I met him just before he was married and didn’t see him again until a few weeks ago when he turned up here with Gideon Harcourt.”
George stared at her, an arrested expression on his face. “Exactly how long have you known him?”
“That is none of your business.” The faint sounds of footsteps outside in the hallway bolstered her courage. “All I wish you to understand, George, is that I will never marry you.”
“You will after my divorce comes through.”
“What divorce?”
He raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m going to divorce my wife for adultery. When I’m free, we can marry.”
Helene shook her head. “But I don’t want to marry you.”
He halted in front of her, an indulgent smile on his face. “Don’t be silly, my dear. Of course you do.”
Helene opened her mouth to reply and then closed it again as someone knocked on the door. After a wary glance at George, she said, “Come in.”
Philip poked his head around the door. “Are you ready for some visitors?” His smile dimmed when he saw George. “Or perhaps I should tell them to come back later.”
“No, please come in. George and I have finished our discussion anyway.”
George bowed and kissed her hand. “We haven’t quite finished, but I understand you have a lot to think about, my dear.”
Helene glanced at Philip, whose expression had chilled as he observed George. He opened the door wide, and Marguerite and the twins came in. To Helene’s relief, Marguerite looked slightly more composed, although there were dark circles under her eyes, and her lips were bitten raw.
“Maman, I just wanted to tell you I’ve decided to have dinner with the twins and Mrs. Smith-Porterhouse and then go to bed. Can our business wait until the morning?”
“Of course, my dear.” Helene smiled encouragingly at her daughter. “I’ve already sent a message to Viscount Harcourt-DeVere, who is willing to help us deal with the Lockwood family. We can talk about what you want to do tomorrow and make our decisions from there.”
Helene noticed that Marguerite was studying George with great interest. “I apologize, Marguerite. You haven’t met Lord George Grant before, have you? Lord George, may I introduce my eldest daughter, Lady Justin Lockwood.”
Even though Marguerite winced at the title, she curtsied and nodded at George.
“Actually, Maman, we have met, although I don’t recognize that name.” She smiled at George. “He visited the nunnery just before I left. I thought he was looking for a school to place his children.”
Helene frowned. “Are you sure?” She turned to George. “Why didn’t you tell me that you had visited Normandy?”
George shrugged. “I was there on diplomatic business, and I stopped off to visit a few potential schools for Amanda. It was complete chance that I happened to end up at the place where your children were at school.”
Philip spoke from the open doorway, which he blocked with his body. “I’ve never been a big believer in coincidences or chance.” He looked at Christian. “Do you still have that letter?”
Christian nodded and shoved his hand into his coat pocket. Helene scarcely breathed as he brought out a much folded and crumpled piece of parchment.
“I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. I tried but…”
“We understand.” Philip nodded at Helene. “Take a look at it.”
She reached out to take the letter with trembling fingers and recognized the handwriting in an instant.
“George, why did you write this?”
George flushed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Damnation, Helene, you know why!”
“Because you wished my children to hate me?”
“Not at all! Because I love you, and I wanted to get your attention.”
“By telling my children I’m a whore?”
“Helene, don’t be silly; it’s not like that. Recently I realized that the reason you wouldn’t marry me was because of the pleasure house. I decided that if your children needed you, you might find someone else to run the place while you enjoyed some well-deserved time with them.”
Helene sat down heavily in a chair by the fire. “You decided I needed to become a better mother and a less obsessed businesswoman.”
“Exactly. I know how hard it was for you to give the children up all those years ago. I thought this might be a way to bring them back to you.”
“By telling them about my ‘real’ life so that they would have no option but to try and find me and voice their disgust?”
George nodded. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but it worked, didn’t it? You have all your children around you now.”
Helene met his gaze. “And I certainly have my hands full trying to care for them, don’t I?”
“Maman”—Christian cast an anxious look at Helene—“I didn’t know who sent the letter. It was delivered to the school by hand.”
“It’s all right, Christian,” Philip said from the doorway. “Your mother would never believe you conspired with George to deceive her.” He smiled at the boy and then at Helene. “George is right about one thing. You are doing an excellent job of looking after your children, Helene. But perhaps it is time for them to withdraw from this discussion.”
Christian looked as if he wanted to protest, but Marguerite took his hand and Lisette’s and drew them toward the door.
“We’ll be in the kitchen if you need us, Maman.”
“Thank you, Marguerite.”
Philip’s dry intervention drew Helene’s attention to his expression. He wasn’t smiling anymore, and his attention was focused on George. God, what was he thinking? Could he believe what a fool she’d been? Philip shut the door behind the twins and leaned back against it.
“I don’t think George is being quite honest with you, Helene.”
George’s head snapped around. “And I don’t think this is any of your business, Ross. Helene understands, don’t you? I did it for love.”
Philip started to laugh. “If you believe that, you’ll believe anything.”
Helene tried to keep her voice calm. She didn’t appreciate being talked over by two men. “What are you trying to say, Philip?”
“If George truly loved you, he wouldn’t have behaved like this. He sent your children a letter that not only revealed your address, but called you a whore. What kind of man does that to the woman he claims to love?”
George glared at Philip. “A man who has reached the end of his tether. A man who has waited patiently for the day when that woman decides to mend her ways and settle down.”
“And you think Helene is stupid enough to believe that?”
George’s face flushed. “Don’t imagine that because she shares your bed, Helene will agree with you. She’s told me many times that the men she fucks are as stupid as sheep.”
“I’m not stupid, am I?” Philip turned to her.
“No, you are not,” Helene snapped.
George scowled. “I have to agree with you, Helene. Ross isn’t stupid at all. In fact, he’s already decided to sell his shares to me and get out of my way.”
Helene stared at Philip. “Is this true?”
He shrugged. “I did visit my solicitor today.”
Helene stood up. “Even if Philip did sell you his shares, I still own the remaining seventy percent of the business.”
“But when you marry him, he’ll have it all, won’t he?”
Helene locked gazes with Philip. “I don’t intend to marry him.”
Philip smiled. “Have you told him that?”
Helene turned slowly to look at George. “Many times. Like you, I don’t quite understand why he suddenly insists on marrying me now.”
“I think I do,” Philip murmured.
George sat down and buried his head in his hands. “Don’t listen to him. Ross is like all the other fools in your life who have deserted and deceived you. For God’s sake, he even fucks other men!”
“I don’t care who he fucks. He is perfectly entitled to find out and enjoy what pleases him.”
George lifted his head, his gaze pleading. “Helene…we’ve been friends for eighteen years. You have to believe me. I love you, and I want you to marry me. I see that my methods might have been a little high-handed, but they have achieved their aim. You are now free to love me, and that’s all I want.”
“Apart from a controlling share in my business.”
“That’s not true. I’d never stop you from running this business as you see fit. I would only hope that with your family now around you, you would allow me to share the burden.”
Philip started to laugh. “That’s not what you suggested to me.”
“Ross, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to plant you a facer.”
Philip shrugged. “I doubt it.” He turned to Helene. “Do you remember that evening in the kitchen when we were going over the account books?”
“When Christian came in and interrupted us?”
“Yes, that one. Our conversation ended in an argument, and I failed to share my concerns with you about the books.”
Helene grasped the back of the chair and held on tight. George remained in his seat, his head down as Philip continued.
“I first noticed the discrepancies when we decided to change wine merchants. I suspected the La Tour brothers were cheating you, but on further investigation, I realized that wasn’t the case. The money was disappearing well before it reached the wine merchants’ pockets.”
George stirred in his seat but said nothing.
“I began to notice other recent discrepancies. Extra payments from some of your clients, small amounts perhaps, but added together, they represent a tidy sum every month.”
Helene nodded. “I’m not stupid, Philip. I noticed something was wrong, but with all the upheaval around here recently, I hadn’t managed to discuss my concerns with the trustees or the bank.”
Philip nodded at George. “I think George’s sudden desire to marry you stems more from his fear of being exposed as a cheat and possibly a blackmailer than from any notion of love.”
George shot to his feet and pointed a shaking finger at Philip. “I do love her, you bastard! How dare you suggest otherwise!”
“I’m sure you do, but your notion of love is not quite mine or, I suspect, Helene’s.”
Helene ignored Philip and walked across to George. She touched his arm. “What is going on, George?”
His face crumpled at her soft tone. “God, you do understand, don’t you?”
She squeezed his shoulder. “I will when you explain it to me.”
He sighed, and the desperate sound shuddered through his entire body. “I have debts—gambling debts—that I have to pay.”
Helene frowned. “I’ve never known you to be a gambler. You certainly don’t play here.”
George shook off her hand and started pacing again. “I’ve made some unwise investments over the years and used up all of my savings and my wife’s inheritance. I needed the money to support my family.”
“But why didn’t you ask me for help?”
“Ask the woman I admire more than anyone else in the world to help me? Admit that I’d made a fool of myself and almost beggared my family? It seemed easier to take a little from the books.”
Philip snorted. “Easier to steal from your friend than to ask for her help?”
George swung around. “You wouldn’t understand. When have you ever wanted for anything?”
Philip’s smile was bleak. “I’ve wanted many things in my life, some more than others.” His gaze met Helene’s. “But I’ve also learned that you can’t force someone to want you or to love you.”
Helene stared back at him, unable to look away from the pain in his eyes.
George groaned. “Damnation, he’s the father of your twins, isn’t he? I never stood a chance of marrying you after he turned up, did I?”
Philip ignored George, his attention all on Helene. “What do you want to do with him?”
“With George?” She sighed. “I don’t know. Perhaps I need to talk to the other trustees and see if they will help me resolve his financial difficulties.”
George cleared his throat. “You intend to help me, despite everything I’ve done?”
“Of course. You are still my friend.”
George dropped his head into his hands, and his shoulders started to shake. “I don’t deserve this.”
Helene knelt in front of him and patted his knee. He grabbed hold of her fingers and held them tight. “But you will. Once the worries over your debts and supporting your family are cleared up, everything will seem different.” She glanced up at Philip. “Will you escort him home?”
“If that is what you want.”
She nodded. “I doubt he’ll do anything foolish, will you, George? His daughter, Amanda, needs him, and I suspect his wife does too.”
George got slowly to his feet, his eyes bloodshot, his mouth a thin line. “I’ll pay you back, Helene. I promise, even if it takes a lifetime.”
“Don’t worry about that now, George. Just go home and get some rest.”
He nodded and turned obediently toward the door, where Judd awaited him. She hoped he would be all right. Despite his actions, it was hard to stop caring for a man who had been a constant in her life for so long.
Philip waited until George went past him and then turned back to Helene. “I’ll see George home and return here as soon as I can.”
Helene shrugged listlessly. “There is no need to come back.”
“Dammit, Helene, why do you do this? Why do you constantly push me away?”
She felt the hot sting of tears on her face and tried to blink them away. “Because I am afraid of breaking down completely, afraid of you seeing me like that.”
He took a hasty step toward her. “Why?”
She shook her head and reached out to steady herself with a hand on her desk. “Because I have to be strong. I have to be strong for everyone.”
“Not for me. You can be anything you want for me. I’m quite capable of withstanding a few tears.”
“And maybe that is what scares me the most.”
He stopped moving. “That I’ll use your weakness against you, that I’ll overpower you and stop you from being strong?” His smile was bitter. “Helene, no one can do that to you but yourself. I don’t want to own you.”
“Then why did you offer to sell your shares to George?”
His expression darkened. “If you really think I would do that, we have nothing more to say to each other. There’s no chance in hell that you’d ever trust me with your heart if you can’t even trust me with your business.” He bowed abruptly. “I’ll be back tomorrow to say my good-byes to the staff. I’ll try and keep out of your way.”
Helene struggled to breathe, to frame the words that would set them both free of the tangle she’d created, but it was too late. Philip had already left.