He and Babe make Their First Mistake.
They make Towed in a Hole.
They make Twice Two.
They make The Devil’s Brother.
They make Me and My Pal.
They make The Midnight Patrol.
They make Busy Bodies.
They have never been more popular. They are now the longest running comedy team in talking pictures.
And still Henry Ginsberg hates them.
Henry Ginsberg is convinced that he and Babe are deliberately wasting time and money, that they are slackers and spendthrifts. Henry Ginsberg spies on them, and when Henry Ginsberg is not spying on them Henry Ginsberg recruits others to spy in his stead. Henry Ginsberg drives everyone crazy. Some, like Beanie Walker, choose to leave rather than deal with Henry Ginsberg any longer, which suits Henry Ginsberg as then the studio doesn’t have to pay them a salary. And when Henry Ginsberg is not busy spying, or driving writers to quit, Henry Ginsberg is busy firing people.
Soon, the only person left on the lot will be Henry Ginsberg.
He goes to see Henry Ginsberg. A secretary in Hal Roach’s business office has given him some figures to work with, as long as he never reveals the source. The studio estimates that it will gross over a million dollars on The Devil’s Brother, and potentially even half as much again. The Devil’s Brother costs $200,000 to make. Hal Roach stands to turn a profit of anywhere between $300,000 and $600,000 on the picture.
So why, he asks Henry Ginsberg, won’t you let us make our pictures in peace?
Because you’re losing money, says Henry Ginsberg. Last year, your pictures posted a loss of—Henry Ginsberg opens a file, and finds the page he seeks—one hundred and sixty-six thousand, four hundred and forty seven dollars.
And eighty-eight cents, Henry Ginsberg adds.
—How can we be losing money if the studio is making profits like this on one picture?
—I don’t know where you got those figures, so I can’t possibly comment. But not all of your pictures make a profit. Mostly, though, I believe you’re losing us money because we pay you too much.
And this is the best he can get out of Henry Ginsberg.
He tries speaking with Hal Roach, but Hal Roach does not enjoy discussing money with actors. It makes Hal Roach feel faint.
He spends the rest of the day working on a script. As he is waiting to be picked up by his driver, Henry Ginsberg appears. From the expression on his face, he can tell that Henry Ginsberg has been stewing all afternoon. Henry Ginsberg does not like being braced by the help.
Do you know what the average annual salary is in this country? Henry Ginsberg asks.
—I do not.
—It’s fifteen hundred dollars. You made seventy times that last year, and you’re still complaining.
—I wasn’t complaining. I was asking how Babe and I could be posting a loss when we’re actually turning a profit.
His temper is rising. He curbs it. If he starts shouting at Henry Ginsberg, he may never stop.
—You’re not turning a profit. That’s what you don’t seem to understand.
—You’re right. I don’t understand.
Henry Ginsberg appears satisfied with this admission. Henry Ginsberg begins to walk away, then pauses.
One more thing, says Henry Ginsberg.
—Yes?
—I don’t think you’re so funny.
And with that, Henry Ginsberg leaves the stage.