No reconciliation, and no hope of one.
He tells everyone that asks. He tells Hal Roach in Hal Roach’s office, his feet resting on the head of the dead bear. He tells friends and family. He even tells Henry Ginsberg, who appears to be showing disturbing signs of humanity, although Henry Ginsberg may simply be trying to assess the potential damage to Bank of America’s investment caused by the marital woes of the studio’s two biggest stars, and is wondering if it might be used to justify a reduction in salary.
No reconciliation, and no hope of one.
On August 3rd, 1933, an announcement is made that he and Lois are to be reconciled.
And that Babe and Myrtle are also to be reconciled.
Which is when Ben Shipman summons him to the office.
Sitting in Ben Shipman’s office, he notices that Ben Shipman’s hair is turning gray. He decides not to comment on this out of concern that Ben Shipman may then feel compelled to explain the cause of his premature canities, and take this into account when billing him.
He tells Ben Shipman that Lois requested his company when he went to collect his daughter. They sat. They talked. They had a drink. They were civil to each other, which was something.
And now you’re moving back in with her? says Ben Shipman. What was in that drink—laudanum?
—I’m not moving back in with her.
Ben Shipman thinks that it may be necessary to call the Bromo-Seltzer people and advise them to start manufacturing bigger bottles.
—But it says so here, in the newspaper.
He has not seen the newspaper yet. He takes Ben Shipman’s copy and reads the story. It talks about doves of peace hovering, and his daughter being responsible for leading Lois and him back into the old paths of happiness. If it were any more cloying, it could be used to make treacle.
It stinks of Hal Roach.
—I never said any of this.
—So you didn’t intimate anything about Babe and his wife also getting back together?
This, too, is in the story, which is Hal Roach over-egging the pudding. Hal Roach is trying to protect his assets. Having his two biggest stars simultaneously involved in messy divorces is probably giving Hal Roach sleepless nights.
—If they are, Babe hasn’t told me. You know what they’re like. They prefer to live their lives behind closed doors. I suppose they might be reconciling, and Babe and Myrtle are still working out the details.
But, says Ben Shipman, I’m working out the details of the property settlement for their divorce with David Cannon.
David Cannon is Myrtle’s lawyer. David Cannon is probably also Myrtle’s sister’s lawyer. He does not know David Cannon, but David Cannon has his sympathies.
How, continues Ben Shipman, can we both be working on divorces for people who aren’t getting divorced?
—Look, I’m getting divorced. I can’t speak for Babe and Myrtle. You could try asking them.
—I would, if I could find them. Babe has checked out of the Beverly Wilshire, and there’s no answer at the house.
Ben Shipman sits back and ruminates. It is a marvel to Ben Shipman that two apparently sensible men can lead such convoluted personal lives, especially this one who appears, in every other regard, so meticulous and regimented. The only positive aspect, as far as Ben Shipman can tell, is that his clients’ personal problems are emerging at a time of general marital disharmony in Hollywood.
Douglas Fairbanks leaves Mary Pickford.
Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. divorces Joan Crawford.
Lottie Pickford, Mary’s sister, divorces Russel Gillard.
Mae Murray divorces Prince Dave Mdivani, who claims to be the son of a Georgian czar, except there are no Georgian czars, so the story is that Prince Dave Mdivani is a fraudster who has left Mae Murray penniless. Meanwhile, Prince Serge Mdivani, Prince Dave’s brother, is being sued for maintenance by the opera singer Mary McCormick. Prince Serge Mdivani is previously married to Pola Negri, but drops Pola Negri like a rotten apple after she loses her money in the stock market crash, then marries Mary McCormick and starts spending Mary McCormick’s money instead. A third Mdivani brother, Prince Alexis, is romancing the Woolworth heiress Barbara Hutton, circling her like a shark.
The Mdivanis marry and divorce so often that they are known as the Marrying Mdivanis.
Eleanor Boardman divorces King Vidor.
Janet Gaynor divorces Lydell Peck.
Maurice Chevalier divorces Yvonne Vallée.
Alice Joyce divorces James B. Regan.
Lola Lane divorces Lew Ayers.
Marian Nixon divorces Edward Hillman, Jr.
Chester Conklin divorces Minnie Conklin.
And that’s not even half of them. Being a divorce lawyer is good business in Hollywood in 1933.
So if Ben Shipman’s clients can manage not to sock any more women on the nose, and avoid fake reconciliations, and quietly go about the business of divesting themselves of their respective spouses, it may just be possible for them to emerge with their reputations intact.
I know you’ll work it all out, he informs Ben Shipman.
—I admire your optimism. In the meantime, look unhappy, especially in front of reporters. The unhappier you appear, the less alimony you’ll have to pay. And keep away from women. I don’t even want to see a picture of you helping a nun cross the street.